Vee crossed her arms over her chest. “Yes? Go on.”
“I got nothing,” Chi admitted.
“I thought as much.”
Spotting me, Chi pleaded, “Tell her we didn’t take Djagon.”
“We didn’t take Djagon,” I said dutifully.
Steam blew out of Vee’s ears. “Chinnadurai Franklocke!”
“Can’t you be more convincing?!” Chi hissed at me.
I wasn’t a good actor but I could tell Vee really did want to grab one of the steak knives and stab Chi with it. So for my friend’s sake, I tried. “We went over the rooftops, cat-burglar style,” I added more truthfully. “I can’t tell you what roads we used after we came back down, as I don’t know the city.”
Vee didn’t buy it, not for one second. She glared at me instead and the look in her eyes made me squirm a little guiltily. “Really,” she said flatly. “You. Not knowing where you are.”
How could the woman know me so well already? Of course I didn’t get lost even if I was in an unfamiliar city. I blew out a breath and changed tactics. “Vee. You really think I’m going to put Rena in even more danger after what she’s had to deal with today?”
That stopped her short and her mouth went flat. “I suppose not. Even if you did go through Djagon I feel sorry for any drunk that tried to hassle her. Fine, I’ll drop this, but Chi, so help me, you take better care of that girl from now on. I know you likely took her through there just to see her go beet red, and it was likely funny, but it was a stupid move on your part. What if something had happened? Bannen’s also been through a lot today and he’s not got his usual control. If any sort of danger had approached Rena, he might have overreacted before realizing. Familiar bonds can’t be dismissed lightly and you need to remember that aside from being her friend, he’s her familiar. Don’t put him in a difficult position just for laughs.”
I blinked and regarded her for a moment. Even I hadn’t thought of that and I felt humbled and very touched that Vee obviously had.
Chi studied me, serious for a moment in a way that frankly disturbed me. “I…forgot. No, more like I didn’t remember when I brought them here. Sorry, Bannen, I’ll try to keep it in mind next time.”
I spread an open palm. “No harm done. But thank you, it does help.”
“If that’s settled,” Yez stated, pushing up to his feet, “I’m going for a bath.”
Chi looked ready for an excuse to escape. “I think I will too. Bannen, are the tubs empty?”
“Enough for the two of you, at least.”
Both Chi and Yez picked up a bundle of clean clothes and made their way toward the back.
I expected Maksohm to go as well, considering he likely wanted a chance to wipe the sweat off. He still had the coat on, every button in place, although his hair was a little mussed. He looked tired to my eyes and I felt strangely bad about abandoning him to that crowd earlier. “How did it go, after we left?”
“Badly, but I expected that.” He managed a tired, reassuring smile. “I was able to explain the situation to our public relations personnel and they in turn started working sense in the crowd. Most of them had disbursed by the time I left. I don’t expect us to have a mob head toward us tonight, if that’s what you’re asking. I think they knew deep down that no one trapped in there would be able to make it back out.”
Nothing Toh’sellor touched survived, after all. “I’m sorry for them, truly. I’m glad to know they aren’t going to lynch us, though.”
“It was a bit touch and go for a while,” Maksohm said ruefully. “I’ll need to step out again in a moment, make sure that things stayed handled, but I wanted to check in with all of you first.”
“I appreciate that, thanks.” I called out an order for a drink, and after glancing at him, and getting a nod, called out for two. The man had to be starving and just as dehydrated as I felt, after all. Even if his duties weren’t quite completed yet, he’d more than earned a break.
“I hadn’t truly thought about your position as a familiar until Vee said something,” Maksohm mentioned in a deliberately casual way that made my ears perk. “But I really should have considered it. Familiars are highly protective of their mages. Entering a situation like that, only to come out and be faced with a snarling crowd, must have set you on edge.”
“It wasn’t comfortable,” I admitted honestly. “But you are all good people, which made it easier.”
“Do your protective instincts overwhelm you sometimes?”
“Not often, but on occasion. I’ve learned how to control them over the years. It helps, I think, that there’s very little that can really present a danger to Rena. Give her the time and line of sight, she can destroy anything. It’s keeping her safe long enough to work her magic that’s the trick.” I ruminated on that for a moment, not sure what else I should say, what would be safe to say, to this man. I still had this sense that he might have a very difficult job in mind for us, and I really didn’t want to encourage that line of thinking. “Not to say that I enjoy her taking on things even remotely dangerous, of course.”
“Of course.” His smile crinkled the crow’s feet around his eyes for a moment. Then he seemed to wait, expectantly, as if I obviously had a question to ask him.
I couldn’t for the life of me imagine what he wanted me to ask. Anything I could say would be prying into his personal business, and I didn’t know the man well enough for that. We’d known each other barely two weeks, and even if we had spent the whole of today fighting alongside each other, I didn’t want to overstep boundaries. You forged a bond when you fought like we did, and I knew better than to take advantage of that. If he felt close enough to share something, he would. I’d be privileged to hear it, as I respected this man enormously, but I wasn’t about to ask.
Something on my face must have said words to that effect as he softened perceptibly.
Our drinks arrived and I drank half of mine down, noting that he did the same. Then he seemed to gather some sort of courage before he met my eyes again. Maksohm looked at me steadily, not judging, not suspicious. “You and Rena have never once asked where my familiar is, why I don’t have one.”
“I sense a question lurking under that statement.” I puffed my cheeks and blew out a breath. Yeah, okay, I didn’t see how he would actually need this information, but understanding your colleagues better couldn’t hurt. “Did the reports ever mention that Rena actually summoned me twice?”
He blinked, head recoiling as if he hadn’t heard me properly. “Wait, what?”
“She summoned me twice,” I repeated with a half-smile that held little amusement. Because it was funny but it really, really wasn’t at the same time. “See, the Corcoran Magical Council has all sorts of rules, most of them completely stupid, and one of them stated that a mage could not have any romantic or, well, sexual interaction with their familiar. Which really meant, as 99% of the world’s familiars are animals, that bestiality was a no-go, right?”
“Seems like a good rule to me.”
“Hey, I’m all for it, I wasn’t about to argue; only they wanted to apply that rule to me and Rena too. Never mind that we aren’t romantically involved—despite the fact we’re technically engaged—but they really weren’t having it. They pitched a royal fit, actually, and forced us to break the bond.”
That hit home with him. Those dark eyes flew wide with complete understanding.
“Yeah,” I grimaced, “it was bad. Really…bad. I’ve never found the words to describe what that’s like, being bonded to someone and then in the next minute, not. I felt like I was missing a limb. I hated every second of it. Worse, I couldn’t just curl up in a ball somewhere and wait for it to pass. Rena was not,” here I winced in memory, “well, let’s just say she wasn’t coping all that well. And we had to act fast to put the Council in place before they tried to send me home, so there was that hearing to go through, and me having to function well enough to win that argument. I couldn’t ask it of Rena, she was literally going throu
gh withdrawals, and her master is not good at arguing. Or public speaking.”
“I can’t imagine you losing an argument,” Maksohm stated with a knowing little smirk.
“You have no idea. I lose all the time.” Mostly to Rena. But different story. “Anyway, after we won the argument with the Council, Rena was forced to summon another familiar, because of course she hadn’t passed all of the Tests yet. So she did the summoning spell again, and got me again, at which point the Council gave up and let me stay. Mostly.”
“Mostly?”
“We had a few minor problems with assassins, but we dealt with it, it was fine. Anyway, not the point. The point, Maksohm, is this.” I looked at him with the same steady regard he’d given me. “It was twenty-six hours between the bond being broken and my second summoning. Twenty-six very long, very painful hours where I walked around with a hole in my chest and this indescribable sense of loss. I’ve walked in your shoes for twenty-six hours—Rena and I both have—and that is why we don’t need to ask about your familiar.”
His gaze softened into an expression containing loss and something I couldn’t quite define. “I now understand,” he said softly, “why she adores you.”
I had no idea how to respond to that.
“Thank you, Bannen.” Clapping me on the shoulder, he got up and went to return to his duties.
I watched him go and wanted to just kick people. How many times had he been asked that very personal, invasive, painful question that he would just expect everyone to do it? Didn’t people understand that if you prodded at a scar, old wounds would bleed as brightly as new ones? I knew humans were curious by nature, but sards people, put a lid on it.
Shaking my head, I called out an order for dinner.
“—ena! Rena!”
I awoke with a scream lodged in my throat, eyes flying wide. The panic and terror of the dream was dew on my skin, a twisted knot in my chest, and I gulped for breath. Some part of me registered strong hands on my shoulders and a voice I knew better than my own in my ears. It took two tries before I could say something. “Bannen.”
“Come back to the land of the living, sweetheart,” my familiar answered calmly, as if I wasn’t shaking like a leaf. “Leave that nightmare behind.”
The vestiges of the dream didn’t die completely, but I could get my eyes to focus now. Bannen leaned slightly over me, eyes concerned, but he didn’t look surprised that I’d had a nightmare. I couldn’t claim to be surprised either. Unfortunately, we both had expected today to haunt my dreams. I levered myself up and cuddled into him, head pressed into the curve of his neck. “I hate panic dreams.”
“They’re the worst. And the chase dreams. I especially hate those. I wake up exhausted and usually with my head on the floor.” Bannen wrapped both arms around me, one hand stroking up and down my spine in a comforting way.
I stayed like that for a small eternity and found myself glad that he didn’t ask what the dream had been about. I didn’t want to relive it or talk about it. Instead I said, “In the thirteenth century, there was a theory that all bad dreams were created by demons called the Nachtmahr. Eventually, of course, that was disproved, but I wish it were true. That way I could go demon hunting and get revenge on it.”
He chuckled, low and soft, like the soft rumble of a predator cat. “I’d be okay with that. Pity it really isn’t caused by demons.”
“I know, right?” I stayed right in place and didn’t feel any desire to move. He smelled so good, clean and masculine. Why did he always smell good? “You didn’t have any dreams about it, did you?”
“Wasn’t asleep yet,” he denied. “I’ve been talking with Chi.”
A glance at the window showed me that it wasn’t that late. I’d gone to bed early, directly after dinner, so I must have been only asleep an hour or so. “You really like him.”
“As my mother would put it, we’re two peas in a pod. I’m very glad that we bumped into him and Vee. I think all of this would have been harder without them.”
“I think so too.” And for a variety of reasons. Part of it was Chi’s sense of humor—irrepressible, usually irresponsible, but giving us all the levity that we needed. Part it was their amazing competence. I could tell that Bannen felt more secure with those two at his back. He didn’t have that same manic energy to him when they were around, trusting that they too would guard my back if I needed it. It made me want to keep them, although I frankly didn’t know if that would ever be an option. “Can you believe we actually met Yez already?”
“Under a totally different name,” Bannen chuckled. “It makes sense, really, that the MISD would investigate us. I suppose I’m glad it was Yez they’d sent.”
“I certainly am.” The casual back and forth calmed me as much as the very nice cuddles. Some part of me felt reassured by the conversation because Bannen only spoke to me like this when no danger lurked. “I want to take apart his mouthpiece and see how it works, but I probably shouldn’t ask.”
“You really shouldn’t,” Bannen responded dryly. “Contain yourself, darling.”
“Spoilsport.” I smiled without opening my eyes as I wasn’t serious and he knew it.
“Actually…” he hesitated for a moment before continuing. “Speaking of things you really shouldn’t do, although I don’t think you would to begin with, don’t ask about Maksohm’s familiar. Or lack thereof.”
Now I did open my eyes, pulling back just enough to see his face. His expression looked taut, as if remembering something distasteful. “You’re right, I wouldn’t, but why do you say so? Do you know something I don’t?”
“Not really. He didn’t exactly corner me about it while you were still in the bath, but he basically gave me an opening to ask about his familiar. When I didn’t take it, he pressed me about why. That poor man has so many people asking questions about why he doesn’t have a familiar that he finds it strange we didn’t ask.”
My heart clenched. “What? Don’t they realize how painful that is, living with a broken bond?”
“You’d think, considering they’ll all go through it at some point. I told him flat out I wasn’t going to ask questions and he looked so relieved, it was sad.”
I had this feeling there was more to that conversation than he was telling me. But if Bannen felt the need to keep part of it in confidence, I wouldn’t press him. “I won’t ask him, promise. No one deserves old wounds being dug into.”
“That’s my girl.” He eased me back so I sat upright again, studying my face. “Want to try going back to sleep?”
Even though the nightmare had jolted me into awareness I felt so physically exhausted that my body thrummed with it. “I think so. You need sleep too.”
“Believe me, I know it.”
He hesitated again and this time it caught my attention. Bannen never hesitated around me. He said exactly what was on his mind as soon as he thought of it. In fact, some days I swore he thought out loud. This hesitation did not spell good things to my mind. “Out with it.”
Blowing out a breath, his head bowed for a second before his eyes came back up to meet mine. “Rena. Did today feel like a test to you?”
“It strangely did,” I responded, turning over everything in my mind. “One that I think we passed. I thought I was just being paranoid though.”
“No, I don’t think you are. The problem is, the only thing I know of that’s impossible for most magic to destroy and is raging wildly out of control is Toh’sellor.”
I stared at him and could see the concern in his eyes. “I’m not sure what to think about that. Even if it isn’t Toh’sellor they’re thinking of, that means it’s something equally as dangerous.”
“Either way I don’t like it,” he told me frankly. “But at the same time, I like the idea of you not going even less. Because if the MISD can’t destroy or contain whatever problem this is? Then that means we might have another Toh’sellor situation and we really, really can’t afford that.”
No, we really couldn’t. One
chaotic monster devouring a mountain range was enough. We didn’t need two. “So if it’s something that I think we can do, we should go?”
“I don’t know. I really don’t, not until they’re willing to give us more information to go off of. I just know that I’m rather divided over the idea at the moment.”
“Fair enough.” No one seemed willing to speak with us openly about it now, which told me that they needed to make a formal report to their bosses first and then get a response. Large organizations like this had delays in decision making. “There’s no sense worrying about it tonight. Go sleep, Bannen.”
“You too. And if you have another nightmare, wake me up, alright?”
I gave him an enigmatic smile. “Are you going to wake me up if you have a nightmare?”
He got that funny look on his face that he always does when I call him out for being slightly overprotective. “If I say yes, would you believe me?”
“No.”
Laughing, he shrugged. “Fair enough. But seriously, if you can’t sleep, come get me. Odds are I won’t be sleeping either. Even for me today was…rough.”
And that said volumes. Bannen’d seen far more hardship and fighting than most soldiers ever did. I had a feeling that I would have nightmares for the next several weeks, so neither of us would be getting a lot of sleep. Maybe, at some point, I could comfort him the same way that he comforted me. That thought made it easy for me to smile and agree, “I’ll come to you when I need you.”
I woke up the next morning bleary eyed and drained of energy. It had not been a pleasant night. Bannen woke me up twice, I woke up myself once (by rolling out of the bed, natch) and if I’d gotten more than three hours of real sleep in the past nine I’d be very surprised. It looked like dawn light, really, not proper morning yet, but I had no desire to roll over and try for more sleep. Groaning, I rolled out, tossing the covers back and heading for my bag. Clean clothes, a mountain of tea, some breakfast, and maybe I could make it through today.
A knock sounded on my door. “Rena? You up?”
The Void Mage (The Familiar and Mage Book 2) Page 14
