by Mandy Baggot
‘I think that’s enough of the grumpy old troll now. Hello Kate, cup of camomile?’ Hermione asked as she appeared from the kitchen and scooped Bethan up in her arms.
Hermione was almost fifty although you wouldn’t know it. She was one of those women who had sailed through pregnancy and childbirth and retained the figure she had when she was a young woman. She had skin that glowed, blonde hair that fell softly onto her shoulders and huge, kind, blue eyes. She was also capable and organised - annoyingly so. This was a woman who could wash up, change a nappy and make gingerbread men all at the same time. If she didn’t love her so much Kate would most probably detest her for being so perfect.
‘Oh, I don’t know if I have time for tea tonight, I…’ Kate began, wanting to get home crack open the Chilean wine and drown her sorrows.
‘Of course you have time, doesn’t she Bethan? Mummy has time for a cup of Aunty Hermione’s camomile tea doesn’t she?’ Hermione spoke, handing Bethan over to Kate and leading the way into the kitchen.
Bethan put her arms around Kate’s neck and squeezed, hugging her tightly in agreement.
‘Just a quick one then,’ Kate agreed, kissing her daughter on the cheek and ruffling her hair.
‘Come on kids, who wants to watch The Jungle Book?’ Philip asked the four children.
There were squeals of approval and running footsteps and they all thundered back into the lounge.
‘Bethan has been an absolute delight today haven’t you Sweetie?’ Hermione said, tickling under the little girl’s chin as Kate took a seat at the kitchen table and propped her daughter up on her knee.
‘Have you? What have you been doing with Mione?’ Kate asked, looking at Bethan intently.
‘Painting,’ Bethan responded with a smile.
Kate swallowed a lump in her throat; she was growing up so much. She was two, no longer a baby, a proper little girl.
‘Good girl! Yes we did painting and then we made biscuits and then we ran around the garden and played hide and seek didn’t we?’ Hermione spoke as she made the tea.
‘It sounds like you had a great time,’ Kate answered, bouncing Bethan up and down.
‘And did you have a great time at work? I would say probably not judging by those frown lines I can see,’ Hermione said, turning her scrutiny to her friend.
‘I have frown lines?’ Kate exclaimed her hands reaching for her forehead and pressing at the skin as if to iron out any creases.
‘Beth, why don’t you go and watch the DVD with Philip and the others? I’m pretty sure they’ll be dressed up as bears and monkeys by now. Mummy and I need to talk about secret things,’ Hermione spoke, putting a finger to her lips and helping Bethan down from Kate’s lap.
Bethan ran out of the kitchen towards the living room and as soon as Hermione could hear roaring, monkey noises and laughter she closed the kitchen door.
‘What’s happened at work today? I sense more than the usual “too much to do too little time” vibe,’ she said, bringing the tea over to the table and sitting down.
‘Nothing, it was the same as every day. I played my usual inadequate self, I didn’t get half the things done I should have, Lady Dragon Miranda spent all day doing that really annoying laugh of hers and saying “perfect” every second word to anyone that came in contact with her. Oh yes and I have to find a date to take to a function I’d hoped she’d forgotten about - this Friday,’ Kate responded, taking a large swig of her tea.
‘Would you like some sugar for the shock?’ Hermione questioned.
‘It isn’t funny! It’s one of our really big clients and one that actually likes me. It’s some banquet thing at the Grand. It’ll be dressing up and looking nice and talking to lots of people I have nothing in common with. Oh and did I mention I have to take a date. A date Mione! I don’t know any men! Unless? Yes, of course! I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before! Can I borrow Philip?’ Kate asked, leaning almost excitedly across the table towards her.
‘Afraid not Sweetie, Philip’s off to Africa tomorrow. He’s away for a week supervising digging for ancient artefacts,’ Hermione replied.
‘Then I’m well and truly buggered. What am I going to do?’ Kate asked, putting her hands in her hair and leaning on the table face down.
‘Don’t you still have that business card I gave you?’ Hermione questioned, drinking some of her tea.
‘Oh no, I’m not doing that. That’s for desperate people,’ Kate said, lifting her head up and knocking her cup with her elbow making some of the contents spill out on the table.
‘And what are you if not desperate for a date - this Friday. I don’t see you have any other option.’
‘I cannot use an escort agency! Did you hear that? Even saying it sounds sleazy! It would be like using a male prostitute,’ Kate exclaimed.
‘Well, my friend Libby - you’ve met Libby - she comes here for readings. She absolutely swears by this firm. She uses them all the time, purely for company, they go out for a meal or to the cinema. She’s a professional just like you and she doesn’t have time for a relationship. She’s been burned in the past, just like you, but she loves male company. For her this is an ideal solution. I think her “friend” is called Jonny,’ Hermione informed.
‘I feel sick,’ Kate responded.
‘I think you should look at this a different way. You’ve created a negative vibe about this function. You think it’s going to be dreadful, it won’t be fun, you’ll hate it and you know what I think about self-fulfilling prophecies. If you think it’s going to be terrible then it will be,’ Hermione told her.
‘I still feel sick.’
‘It’s an opportunity to dress up, get your hair done, have a few drinks and some posh food with some gorgeous guy sat next to you. Wouldn’t that stick it to the Lady Dragon?’
‘I can’t take a male escort, it just wouldn’t be right. I don’t do that sort of thing.’
‘The card has the website address on it; at least have a look while you’re trawling through your old address books looking for an alternative,’ Hermione suggested.
‘D’you know, I don’t think I have the card any more, what bad luck,’ Kate remarked, drinking down the remainder of her tea.
‘Isn’t it? Luckily I have another,’ Hermione responded and she magically produced the card straight away from a large towering pile of paperwork on her kitchen worktop.
‘Are you sure you’re not a witch?’ Kate enquired reluctantly taking the card from her friend’s hand.
‘Are you sure you haven’t forgotten how to enjoy yourself?’ Hermione retorted.
She looked at the business card, rolling it around her fingers.
‘Perhaps I have,’ she admitted with a heavy sigh.
‘Then get back out there and start living your life again. Your life Sweetie, not just Bethan’s. You’re a brilliant mum but even brilliant mums need a break and yours is long overdue. Ring the number, book yourself a date, buy something new to wear, and Friday night, leave work early, get your hair done and enjoy yourself! Bethan can stay the night here, my three love having sleepovers and with Philip away I won’t know what to do with myself - you’ll basically be doing me a favour,’ Hermione insisted with a smile.
‘It sounds like I don’t have a choice. Have you been reading runes for me again? Is this function something I have to attend for my greater good?’ Kate asked.
‘I’m saying nothing more; you don’t believe any of that anyway,’ Hermione replied and she pretended to zip up her lips.
Two
By the time Kate had bathed Bethan, put her to bed and read her a story, it was almost 8.00pm. Her brain actually ached and she was completely exhausted. Although she should have known it before, she hadn’t actually realised just how tiring having a child would be. Now she was doing it on her own and trying to hold down a job all at the same time. She was struggling with it, emotionally and financially. There were bills that needed paying, bills she had ignored for too long. Most months she didn’t know whether
she was actually going to get through it just breaking even.
She thought about her delicate finances all the time and that meant she thought about Matthew a lot of the time and what a bastard he was for leaving her. But knowing he was a bastard somehow didn’t stop her wishing he was still there. There were moments when she missed him desperately.
She pulled the cork out of the bottle of wine and felt a sense of relief the minute she poured it into a glass. This was her time, her time to relax, even if it was on her own. Sometimes it was lonely, like when there was nothing to watch on TV, or when she began to think too heavily about Matthew, but most of the time she was asleep on the sofa before the loneliness had a chance to take hold. Tonight all she could do was stare at the business card Hermione had given her while she set the microwave timer to two minutes and popped in a carbonara meal for one.
Elite Escorts it said in glittery letters. There was an address in the town centre, a telephone number, email address and a website. Kate took a swig of her wine and opened her laptop.
She typed in the web address and almost at once the page flickered into life and music blared out. It was the theme from Baywatch. Kate hurried to turn the volume down before it woke Bethan, almost knocking her glass over in the process. She half expected to see a bare-chested David Hasselhoff pop up on screen. Not that it would have been a bad thing. She’d always had a soft spot for him since Knight Rider. Or maybe that had just been because of the cool car.
More glittery letters appeared and then flashing icons came up and an option to choose Gentlemen or Ladies. Kate clicked on Gentlemen and was given an entire gallery of men to look through. This was certainly a happy kind of shopping!
The first man she clicked on, Barry, looked very camp, like a younger, much shorter version of Dale Winton. The next one was Keith who looked friendly enough, but according to his date of birth he was forty seven. She then looked at Michael (had little hair and reminded her of Harry Hill), Finlay who said he liked Boyzone and David who was six foot five inches tall. There was no way, even if she wore heels that she would be able to talk to anything but his navel.
It was then she noticed the search section. In this you could input all your likes and dislikes, just like building your own perfect man. Now halfway down the glass of wine, Kate actually smiled at the screen and began to type.
Less than six foot, but over five foot seven, dark hair, no preference on eye colour, athletic build, educated to at least O-level equivalent, likes films, music and dining out. It was like shopping online at Argos but much more entertaining. She half expected the computer to build her perfect man in front of her very eyes with the capacity to have him packed and shipped.
Kate pressed the search button and a large picture was displayed of Stephen.
Stephen said he was five foot ten, athletically built, dark hair, green eyes, with an A-level in economics. He liked action films and dining out. He was good looking but not her usual type; he had a friendly smile and kind eyes. Kate stared at the photograph and took another sip of her wine. To book Stephen you had to fill in another form with your details and the date and time you wanted to order him for. Even more like shopping online at Argos, but no delivery charge. Kate took a deep breath, this was insane. What was she doing?
She got up from the table to fetch the bottle of wine and suddenly remembered she had microwaved her dinner about half an hour ago. She set it to cook again and stared over at her computer, still displaying the smiling photo of Stephen. She put the glass of wine to her lips again and cursed the Lady Dragon for putting her in this position. The microwave beeped, she got a fork out of the drawer and, plastic container of overcooked carbonara in hand, walked back over to the table. Stephen didn’t look like an escort, that was a good thing, but did he look ordinary enough for the Lady Dragon to believe Kate was dating him? Possibly, although he was better looking than Matthew. Kate swallowed. She didn’t believe she had just thought that. She loved Matthew; she had thought he was handsome the minute she set eyes on him. She looked over at the photo of Bethan and Matthew on the sideboard. They were both smiling, father and daughter together. She had loved him but perhaps she hadn’t really ever known him. The person she had been in love with wouldn’t have left her and his daughter without a second thought.
Now feeling angry Kate turned to the laptop and pressed a key to submit. She wanted to forget Matthew, perhaps Hermione was right, maybe a night out was in order.
When the telephone rang it woke Kate up. She had eaten the chewy pasta meal, finished the bottle of wine and attempted to watch a programme about overweight children at a fat camp. It had been such a good documentary she had fallen asleep within the first five minutes, just after fifteen stone Kylie from Stoke had admitted her partiality for ring doughnuts. Half asleep she grabbed the phone and put it to her ear.
‘Hello.’
‘Hello is that Kate Baxter?’ a male voice asked.
It was a nice voice. Soft and deep, strong yet not overpowering.
‘Yes it is,’ Kate answered.
She was slightly concerned it could be her bank manager. It didn’t sound like him but he had been known to make his assistants do the initial call before he came on the line and gave her an earful about her financial situation. Like she wasn’t fully aware she was poor.
‘Hi Kate, I’m from Elite Escorts, my name’s Joel,’ the lovely voice informed her.
‘Joel?’ Kate queried, rubbing her eyes and trying to wake herself up. She was glad he wasn’t from the bank but concerned he wasn’t called Stephen.
‘Yes, I know you were expecting Stephen but I’m afraid he’s booked up the whole weekend and I was your next best match,’ Joel continued.
‘Oh, well, I…’ Kate began.
‘I’m just ringing to check what time you want to meet up and where,’ Joel spoke.
‘Oh, I don’t know, um, I haven’t done this before,’ Kate blurted out.
And very unlikely to do it again and in fact wouldn’t be doing it at all if it wasn’t for her interfering childminder.
‘That’s OK. Listen, I usually meet people at Fenton’s the wine bar in the town square. Do you know it?’ Joel asked her.
‘Erm - I’m not sure,’ Kate began, looking around for a pen and paper in case she needed to make notes.
‘It used to be the biker’s pub,’ Joel added.
‘Oh yes, I know where that is, used to avoid it like the plague,’ Kate spoke, overturning Bethan’s drawings in an attempt to find a piece of paper that hadn’t been drawn on.
‘Good, so what time? Seven? Half past?’
‘Erm, better make it seven, the meal’s supposed to start at eight,’ Kate replied, finally pulling out an A4 pad and reaching for a pen.
‘And where are we going? In your email you said it was a work function.’
‘Yes, it’s a dinner, banquet thingy, something posh like that. It’s at the Grand,’ Kate replied.
‘Is it black tie?’
‘No, at least I don’t think so. Shall I check?’ Kate asked, becoming flustered.
It would be posh but she didn’t know the dress code. The Lady Dragon was wearing an Oscar worthy dress though so maybe it was black tie.
‘That’s OK; I’ll dress smart and bring the dinner jacket in the car just in case,’ Joel replied.
‘Good,’ Kate said not knowing what else to say.
How could she find out the dress code without actually speaking to the Lady Dragon? Lynn! She would ask Lynn.
‘Right, well I’ll meet you at seven at Fenton’s on Friday,’ Joel spoke.
‘Good, OK - wait - how will I recognise you?’ Kate wanted to know, a hundred things going through her mind.
‘I’ll be wearing a tulip in my lapel,’ the honeyed voice replied
‘A tulip, right, OK,’ Kate responded, writing it down on her pad.
‘I’m just kidding! You can have a look at my profile on the website, there’s a photo,’ Joel responded a hint of amusement in his
voice.
‘Oh, yes, of course,’ Kate answered, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment.
She was so glad he couldn’t see her or he would be running a mile in the other direction and changing his phone number.
‘OK, well I’ll see you on Friday.’
‘Yes, good, Friday. I mean not as in Good Friday, as in next Friday, sorry,’ Kate babbled, her cheeks reddening as she cursed herself.
‘Bye,’ Joel ended.
‘Bye.’
Her heart was racing as she put the phone down. What had she done? She had engaged the services of a male escort to accompany her to a work function. If it backfired and people found out, she would never be able to hold her head up again. And it wasn’t going to be Stephen! Smiling Stephen with the kind eyes and a hint of stubble, that she thought had really suited him. She had almost got used to the idea of passing a few hours with Stephen. Kate raced back over to the laptop. She didn’t have a clue what this Joel looked like. What if he wasn’t appropriate? God had she really said that? What a snob! He had said he was a close match to the criteria she had entered. But what if that meant he had one eye instead of two or no hair when she had definitely asked for hair. She almost couldn’t bear to look as she typed the name into the search engine and waited for something to appear. She didn’t have to wait long. In a matter of milliseconds Joel’s profile appeared on her screen and looking through her fingers she let out a horrified gasp. There was no way she could take him to the function, no way in the world.
Three
Kate was still flustered the following morning when she dropped Bethan off at Hermione’s. She had spent a fretful night wondering what she was going to wear and whether she could possibly attend on her own. She could say her date had gone down with swine flu or something equally contagious. Yes, her date could have been an important, influential member of the Mexican government who she had met at the embassy when she had been doing research for a client matter, Mr Gonzales’ divorce, his new Will and ownership of the taco business. That way the Lady Dragon would be impressed at his status and she wouldn’t have to go through the whole humiliating experience of employing an escort.
