by Mandy Baggot
‘Hogwarts,’ Cyrus whispered his face turning up into a smile.
The doorbell rang not a moment too soon.
‘That will be your Mummy Cyrus, let’s get your coat,’ Hermione said, giving the boy the treat, gathering up his things and leading the way down the hall to the door.
When Hermione came back into the room she slumped down at the table and let out a heavy sigh.
‘That child is going to be the death of me; he’s been an absolute horror all day. Whispering darkly, like he’s something out of The Exorcist, drumming his feet on the floor, wanting things he isn’t supposed to have. He has numerous intolerances but I’m getting intolerant to him,’ Hermione said, putting her head in her hands.
‘Where are the others?’ Kate asked, referring to Hermione’s children, Heather, Sky and Brook.
‘My mother’s taken them to the big Asda. She does that every so often, rings up after school without warning, whisks them off and when they come back they’ve been spoiled rotten, had cheap all day breakfasts for tea and have a whole new wardrobe of clothes each. I shouldn’t complain really should I? Oh Bethan, at least I had you here to look after me,’ Hermione said, smiling at the little girl.
‘Joel said yes,’ Kate repeated her announcement from earlier.
‘Ah! Joel said yes. Yes, how exciting. So what’s the strategy? What plans do you have to ensure you take the title of winners of Knowing Me Knowing You 2011?’ Hermione asked her.
‘Well I haven’t actually thought too much about that yet. I had been working on my case to argue should he say no. But I thought that we probably need to know a bit more about each other at the very least - so I’ve invited him to dinner tomorrow night,’ Kate informed.
Hermione exploded into a fit of laughter that vibrated the table and almost had Kate reaching for her ears.
‘You can’t cook!’ Hermione announced, laughing hard.
‘I can.’
‘Microwaving things doesn’t count,’ Hermione replied.
‘I don’t microwave everything,’ Kate answered offended.
‘Well granted no, not salad. What’s on your menu for tonight then?’
‘I haven’t decided yet.’
‘Bet it comes in a little plastic tray with film to pierce.’
‘Those meals are quick, easy and nutritious.’
‘Those meals are full of hidden fats, salts and sugars.’
‘And they taste delicious when complemented with lots of white wine.’
‘Oh Bethan, what are we going to do with your mummy? What are you planning to cook Joel then? I mean he isn’t going to want to go through all this for a piping hot on the outside, lukewarm in the middle cannelloni,’ Hermione spoke.
‘I don’t know, I have all day tomorrow to think about it.’
‘But you’ll need to go shopping to buy the ingredients - you need to decide on a recipe.’
‘Well I don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t have said dinner. But I thought it would be better to be at home, not seen in public so we don’t have to do any of the pretend kissing he does and I won’t try and shake hands with him which apparently is what I do.’
‘He kisses you, yum.’
‘Well come on, you’ve insulted my cooking abilities, what am I going to cook him for dinner? I so obviously need help.’
‘Toast,’ Bethan piped up, bouncing up and down on Kate’s knee excitedly.
Hermione let out another laugh and Kate couldn’t help but smile at her happy daughter.
‘She might have hit the nail on the head there; toast might be your safest bet. Well done Bethan,’ Hermione responded, clapping her hands.
‘I’m not talking to you about it any more,’ Kate answered.
‘Oh come on, let me help you. Now, I’m sure I have a really simple recipe for chicken here. That wasn’t meant to sound patronising by the way but it is foolproof,’ Hermione insisted and she began to rifle through a pile of papers on her sideboard.
‘I can cook, I have recipe books, I just haven’t used them for a while that’s all,’ Kate replied grumpily.
‘Ah, here we are, chicken in a chasseur style sauce. All you need is chicken, mushrooms, onions, a red pepper, a small amount of wine, some flour and some stock, here you go,’ Hermione said, passing Kate a piece of paper.
‘Thanks,’ Kate answered, glancing at the before and after photos with little interest.
‘And if you need any help during the cooking process you can always call me,’ Hermione offered kindly.
‘I’ll be fine,’ Kate assured her with a smile.
As soon as she left Hermione’s house she rushed to the supermarket to pick up the ingredients for the chicken chasseur recipe.
Bethan got distracted by the children’s magazines and started to scream every time Kate moved the trolley away from the section. Peace only reigned when Charlie and Lola was handed over to her. Screwed up recipe in hand Kate rushed around the shop, Bethan ripping the magazine to pieces. She picked up the ingredients as quickly as she could before it started to get too close to bed time. Then she got distracted by the wine section. Australian was a third off and there was a three for ten pounds offer on a selection of reds. Red wine wasn’t a favourite of hers but she didn’t know what Joel preferred. She should ask him, they might need to know for the contest and the more she knew about him the better.
She grabbed three reds and three whites, ran back to the veg section for an onion and headed for the checkout. Bethan had almost succeeded in ripping the magazine into tiny pieces and was now content poking bits of paper into her mouth.
‘Beth! Don’t do that darling, you mustn’t eat it,’ Kate ordered, trying to manhandle the paper from her hands and poking a finger in her daughter’s mouth to get rid of anything inside.
Bethan began to scream and kick her feet against the trolley in temper. She made a grab for what was left of the magazine and screamed again as Kate quickly moved it out of her reach.
‘Do you want some help with your packing?’ Kirsty the very young looking cashier asked.
Kate was very familiar with Kirsty because she always seemed to be on the checkout Kate chose. She had eight earrings in her left ear, bitten fingernails and was without a doubt having some sort of relationship with Wayne who worked behind the deli and always seemed to find an excuse to come over.
‘Oh no thanks, we’ll be fine. Stop it Bethan!’ Kate ordered, looking sternly at her daughter as she put her items on the conveyor belt.
Bethan held her breath, waited until she had turned purple and then let out the scream of all screams. It was like the cry of someone who had just had their entire body deep-fried. Everyone turned to stare. Other mothers in the queue with seemingly angelic children in their trolleys waited with bated breath to see what she was going to do. OAPs with slightly more sympathy on their faces gave her a hopeful smile and two young men carrying four-packs of lager just smirked her way, looking youthful and smug.
‘That will be thirty five forty eight please,’ Kirsty announced as Bethan continued to scream and Kate bagged her shopping up.
Kate handed Kirsty her debit card and shook a packet of pasta up and down to calm Bethan.
‘When we get home Bethy we’ll get you in your pyjamas, get you some lovely warm milk and watch Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom,’ Kate spoke softly.
‘Could you enter your pin number?’
‘And when we’ve watched Ben and Holly Mummy will take you and Mr Crisps up to bed and we’ll read all about Tiger,’ Kate said, tickling Bethan’s tummy as the scream turned into a meek whimper.
‘Er, have you got another card? This one’s been refused,’ Kirsty piped up in the loudest voice imaginable.
She could only have said it louder if she had yelled it into a loud hailer. Or she had morphed into Lynn.
Kate looked at Kirsty. She was holding her card out to her and chewing her gum up and down flashing her tongue stud.
‘What?’ Kate asked not believing what she had
heard.
‘Card’s been declined, insufficient funds. Have you got another method of payment or shall I get someone to put the stuff back?’ Kirsty boomed like Brian Blessed.
‘No, no, of course not - um, here,’ Kate said as she hurriedly dived into her purse and pulled out her credit card.
The humiliation! She had two hundred pounds in the bank last night, what had gone out since then? She thought she had got the timings of direct debits sorted out now. She entered the pin and held her breath waiting for confirmation of the transaction and the sound of Kirsty’s voice clarifying that all was well.
‘That’s fine, remove your card now,’ Kirsty told her in almost a whisper.
Kate swiftly took the card out of the chip and pin machine and put it back in her purse. It felt as though everyone was looking at her. Her, the useless single mother with no money in her bank account and a kid that screams blue murder. A few months before she would have looked and tutted and thought herself superior. Not any more.
When she got outside it was raining. She hurriedly pushed the trolley to the car, struggled to get Bethan’s legs untangled from the seat and literally threw her daughter into her car seat before she got too wet.
Bethan grinned up at her, wet faced with a happy smile, still holding the remnants of the Charlie and Lola magazine.
Kate felt a shiver run over her. The magazine, she hadn’t paid for it.
She undid Bethan, put her over her shoulder and sprinted back into the shop as heavy rain began to soak them both. She ran up to Kirsty’s checkout, dripping water all over the conveyor belt and butting into the queue.
‘I’m so sorry, I forgot to pay for the magazine. Don’t worry I have cash and I’ve still got the barcode,’ Kate announced and she offered Kirsty the smallest strip of paper from the front of the magazine containing the magic numbers.
‘D’you want a bag for that?’ Kirsty enquired.
Thirteen
The next night Kate stared at her cooker. She knew how to work the hob but she wasn’t really up to speed with the oven. She obviously knew how to turn it on and set the temperature but she wasn’t at all au fait with the timer or the various other settings she was sure Hermione probably used on an hourly basis.
It didn’t matter for the chasseur but she had bought garlic bread and it was frozen and she hadn’t known whether to defrost it or not before cooking. Garlic bread she had decided went with everything and even if Joel didn’t like it she could always polish it off herself.
And you couldn’t go wrong with a Sarah Lee chocolate gateau for pudding. Who didn’t like stuff made by Sarah Lee?
She had already started to sample the Australian white, some of which was destined for the dinner. She looked at the recipe. Cut the chicken into chunks of approximately two centimetres in diameter, heat oil in a pan, fry chicken until sealed (what did that mean?), roughly chop the onion and the mushrooms.
The phone rang and Kate put down the recipe and picked up the handset.
‘Hello.’
‘I can’t believe you’ve done this,’ Matthew’s voice spoke angrily.
‘Hello,’ Kate repeated not knowing what else to say.
She thought perhaps if she pretended she didn’t recognise who it was he would say something else and not sound so mad. She knew what this was about.
‘I’ve had a phone call from the Child Support Agency. Do you know how much they want me to pay?! Almost five hundred pounds a month! Five hundred!’ Matthew continued.
‘Oh,’ Kate responded, trying to keep the delight out of her voice.
Almost five hundred pounds! That was a lot. She could buy something frivolous like Heinz baked beans instead of supermarket own brand with a sum like that.
‘It’s crazy! I can’t afford to pay that sort of money. I have a flat and bills and Amanda has…’ Matthew ranted.
‘Amanda. Who’s Amanda?’ Kate questioned anger burning her throat as a name was put to the horrible voice that had called her a ‘her’.
‘I can’t afford five hundred a month Kate; you know how much I earn,’ Matthew replied deliberately avoiding the question.
‘You should have thought about that before you stopped the standing order. Anyway exactly what does Amanda have that you need to pay for ahead of paying for your daughter?’ Kate questioned rage building up.
‘It doesn’t matter, I can’t pay it and I’ve told them that. Look, can we try and be grown up about this, let’s not involve the CSA. Let’s arrange something between us,’ Matthew suggested to her the tone of his voice changing immediately.
It was like an actor switching roles halfway through a performance.
‘What like you reinstating the standing order?’ Kate asked, picking up her wine and taking a long swig from it.
She had the upper hand here now; she was dictating proceedings for once.
‘Well, yes, but not for as much - maybe fifty pounds a week or something?’
‘No,’ Kate replied immediately.
‘Come on Kate, it would be something. I really can’t afford to pay the CSA what they want,’ Matthew spoke.
‘That isn’t my problem and I think, if you don’t pay, they just take it out of your wages,’ Kate responded coldly.
‘Kate, don’t do this. Please, I mean I wouldn’t be able to live,’ Matthew said in a small and pitiful voice she had never heard before.
‘Goodbye,’ Kate said and she put the phone down, feeling in control for the first time in a long time.
She was glad he would struggle. Wasn’t she struggling just to maintain herself and Bethan? Him having a new girlfriend with expensive tastes wasn’t really an unavoidable expense as far as she was concerned and she was certain the CSA would take the same view.
Unfortunately, the feeling of control didn’t last more than five minutes. She prepared the chicken as best she could and then Bethan started screaming loudly, lying on the floor and kicking her legs in the air. Having placated her with Teletubbies and a rowdy rendition of ‘Polly Put The Kettle On’ the chicken was now sticking to the bottom of the pan. Desperate, Kate phoned Hermione.
‘The chicken’s sticking to the pan, it doesn’t say how much flour to add to this stock stuff and what does “roughly chop” mean? Does it just mean I go at it like a woodcutter?’ Kate blurted down the phone as soon as Hermione picked up.
‘More oil in the pan but you only need to fry it until it’s sealed. That means just until the outside of the chicken turns white, then add the other ingredients.’
‘And the stock and the flour? Bethan, don’t put that in your mouth, it’s dirty,’ Kate spoke as Bethan picked up a stray mushroom from the kitchen floor.
‘Just add enough flour to make the stock thicken - so it turns into a sauce rather than a soup,’ Hermione instructed.
‘Joel’s going to be here in ten minutes, Bethan won’t settle in bed, I’ve got flour in my hair and down my clothes and the dinner looks like shit,’ Kate admitted with a heavy sigh.
‘Well it’s a good job it’s only business then and not a date,’ Hermione answered sceptically.
‘I still want the dinner to taste nice. I mean he’s helping me out for no fee and we might not even get any money from the competition - the least I can do is feed him,’ Kate replied.
‘Stop panicking, take a deep breath and relax, it will all be fine. I read your tea leaves again and good things are coming your way,’ Hermione admitted.
‘I thought I told you to stop doing that without asking me.’
‘I just wanted to put your mind at rest that’s all.’
‘Did the leaves tell you that my dinner is going to be a success?’
‘They’re never that specific so just keep it simmering until the vegetables are cooked, add the sauce and leave it on a low heat until you’re ready to eat,’ Hermione advised.
The doorbell rang and Kate almost dropped the telephone.
‘Oh God, he’s here, he’s early. Bethan’s still up, the dinner isn’t cooke
d - I’ve got to go,’ Kate spoke hurriedly.
She ended the call and wiped her hands on the tea towel.
She hurried down the hallway, Bethan hot on her heels and opened the door.
On the doorstep stood a tall, red-haired woman aged about twenty five. Kate didn’t recognise her.
‘Are you Kate Baxter?’ the woman asked.
God maybe she was from the bank? Maybe they were going to talk to her about her lack of funds. This could be the perfect opportunity to ask for the overdraft she’d been putting off. She didn’t look too scary.
‘Yes I am, are you from the bank?’ Kate enquired hopefully.
Before she could do or say anything more the woman struck out, punching Kate hard in the face. Shocked and bewildered she put a hand up to her bloody nose as Bethan screamed and began to cry, pulling at her legs.
‘Just leave Matthew alone you vicious witch,’ the woman spat.
‘I…’ Kate began, trying to speak as blood trickled down the back of her throat.
Without saying another word, the woman turned her back on Kate and hurried down the path, almost bowled into Joel who was on his approach.
Fourteen
‘Christ, what happened? Are you OK?’ Joel asked immediately noticing Kate’s face and hurrying up the path to her.
‘I’m fine, Mummy’s fine Bethy. Could you pick up Bethan while I find something to wipe my face with?’ Kate spoke, putting her hands under her nose to collect the blood.
‘Sure,’ Joel said, putting down the bag he was carrying and scooping the child up into his arms.
Kate hurriedly grabbed the tea towel and held it to her nose.
‘Who was that woman? Did she do this?’ Joel questioned, sitting down on the sofa and bouncing Bethan up and down on his knee.
‘I think I just met Matthew’s new girlfriend,’ Kate told him.
‘Should I call the police?’ Joel suggested.
‘No! No, I’m fine, honestly. Oh shit! The dinner! I need to add the sauce and it needs to simmer,’ Kate exclaimed, hurrying to the pan where everything was beginning to stick.
