“He’s not here this week, remember? They left on that cruise yesterday. I tried to call the twins, but they won’t answer me, and West and Dane are already on the water, because they have to get back to help cover the restaurant. Brant, you’ve got to come help me. I can’t lift him into the truck. Please. He’s your dog too.”
“What happened? Did he eat another ping pong ball?” I’d had to pay to have one surgically removed a few years back after my brothers had a party and left them lying around.
“No. I don’t think so.”
I sigh. I’m already tired as hell, so maybe this will give me a reason to stay on land for the day and possibly catch an afternoon nap. The twins can manage on their own for one damn day. “I’m heading your way now. Give me five minutes. I’ll call the guys and let them know they’ll have to go it without me. Hang tight.”
I make the calls, getting more worried by the minute. Brimley isn’t just one of the family dogs. He represents a time of healing for all of us. The lab brought my family laughter when we thought none was possible. I’m not an emotional person, but I hate to see anyone suffer, because I know the pain that comes with it on both sides of the spectrum.
I fly into the house and find my sister in tears. She’s sobbing on the floor next to Brimley, rubbing on his soft ears while his eyes seem glossed over. It’s obvious the dog is in distress. “Have you called the clinic yet?”
“No. Dr. Sorenson lives next door. If he’s not there I’ll run over and get him.”
She’s right. His practice is located in a building directly across from his residence. While carefully lifting Brimley and carrying his scared body to the vehicle, I hear my sister following behind me, her bellows calming with the knowledge that help has arrived.
The veterinary clinic is about two miles from the house, but I drive like there’s no tomorrow. Brimley is falling fast. He’s become unresponsive, and I worry if he’s going to make it. I skid against the curb when we arrive and rush to retract him from the truck without causing anymore harm to the struggling canine. Bristol darts for the door, discovering it’s in fact open. A female I recognize from the community hurries in our direction from the office area. “What’s going on? The doctor isn’t in yet.”
“You need to get him. Something’s wrong with our dog. Please hurry. Call Dr. Sorenson.”
She gives us a once over and then walks back into the office while ordering us to take him into the first examination room.
I watch the second hand on the large school-type clock spin around the dial several times, while listening to my sister’s sniffles. Normally Brimley would fight to remain on this cold metal table, but he’s just sprawled out, shaking and unaware. I fight with my own emotions due to the circumstances. Death could be close, and it’s something none of us have dealt with since Mom died. Knowing that scares the hell out of me. He might be a dog, but he’s family. This will hurt more than I’m willing to admit. It will crush us, and although I know we’ll outlive our pets, a part of me knows he’s way too young to leave us.
I hear the sound of the door bell jingle and wait for the old man to pop his head in the room. I swear he sleeps in his white doctor’s jacket. I’ve only ever seen him once without it on, and that was at church. He’s been the only vet in town since I was a kid, so he’ll recognize us immediately. I turn my back to the examination room door and try to ensure Bristol that help is about to walk through. “He’s here, sis. Whatever he says, we’ll figure it out, okay?”
She nods, her eyes doubling in size as I hear footsteps from behind me. A woman’s voice fills the room, almost startling me. “What do we have here?”
I pay no attention to the female, but direct my gaze to the ill pooch. “He’s sick. Something’s wrong with him.”
Bristol adds, “Yeah, he’s been throwing up since last night. Now he’s shaking, but it’s not like a seizure. Is he going to die?”
A set of gentle hands reach around as the female begins checking Brimley out. Another person comes into the room. It’s a young assistant that I’m also unfamiliar with. The doctor acknowledges the person and lets her stand opposite as she begins to look Brimley over.
I glance quickly when the smell of her shampoo fills the air. The vet has her long blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail. Underneath a pair of blue rubber gloves I can see that her fingers are painted a dark color and she’s wearing a ring on her left finger. Her blue scrubs have different breeds of dogs all over them, and she’s wearing those slip on rubber shoes most medical workers seem to prefer.
Without seeing her face I’d say she’s maybe my age, but it’s always been hard for me to tell. “I’m Dr. Danvers,” she says while reflecting a small light into each of Brimley’s eyes. She then checks his gums and teeth, and even his tongue. Then she begins feeling his stomach area. “I’ll draw some blood, but I think I know what’s causing your dog to be in stress. It’s quite common with labs. I’m pretty certain he has a gastric torsion.”
“Can he survive?”
She nods and gives Bristol her attention. From the side I’m not certain. My stomach begins to tighten. It can’t be. She said her name. There’s no way this woman is who I think she could be. “He can, but I’m going to need to get him into surgery right away. It’s a dangerous situation that will require my immediate attention. Does Joan have your information?”
Bristol nods. “Yes. I’ll give her my cell number though, because my dad is on a cruise.”
The doctor turns to address me, and when she does we’re both rendered speechless, though I don’t get the reaction I expect from her. It’s only a few seconds before her gentle eyes turn cold and focused. “I’ll take him to the back and get him prepped. We’ll give you a call in a bit when I have an exact diagnosis and some more information on treatment. If this is what I assume, I’ll do the procedure and get him into recovery.”
“Can we stay?” Bristol asks.
“You can, but it could be several hours and the chairs in the waiting room aren’t the best for long-term use. Go home or wherever you planned for the day. I’ll be in touch as soon as I have something definite to report. If my diagnosis is right, we’ll do the procedure right away to relieve the animal. Timing is everything.”
Bristol looks to me and then back to the doctor. She’s too young to remember this woman. “Thank you.”
“It’s my pleasure. I’ll do everything I can to save your dog. You can count on me.”
Our eyes meet again, but it’s the same reaction. It’s quick with no real change. She’s focused on being a doctor, and for this purpose I can’t let it get to me. Something I love could die. I need her on her best game.
It’s possible she doesn’t recognize me. It’s been years, but I’d know her face out of millions. Those eyes. They’re just as gorgeous as the last time I peered into them.
There’s no time to ask what she’s doing here, or why she’s back. I haven’t seen her in a decade. The once young teenager has blossomed into a beautiful woman, and I can’t find a single thing to say to her. Instead I nod and pretend she’s nothing but a stranger helping our animal survive. For the life of me I can’t wrap my head around this. I need air, or time, or something to help me understand what the hell just happened between us, and why it was so cold and unfamiliar.
We leave our information with Joan, but instead of taking Bristol back home we go to the restaurant for breakfast and coffee. I don’t want to be alone right now, because a part of me longs to rush back into that animal clinic and confront personal demons that have haunted me since the day I let her slip away from me.
Knowing my obligations and current relationship, I know I have to get my shit together and calm down. That woman is in the past. Nothing good can come from digging up what was the worst year of my life. I won’t do it to myself, but most importantly to her.
It’s still difficult to come to terms with what happened and how I felt when I realized it was her. Jamie Sorenson in the flesh. It was like my dream was
somehow preparing me. She’s real. This isn’t something I’m going to wake up from with regrets. I have them already, and there’s not a damn thing I can say to her to make the past go away.
I have to let this go. It’s better if we go about our lives like we were never anything at all. She’s obviously moved on, most likely married with children. Her new surname tells me that much. It’s pretty fantastic that she’s a veterinarian, like she always talked about becoming. I smile when I think back to us on the beach in our special spot talking about our hopes and dreams, but it’s soon replaced with a sorrowful frown. What’s done is done.
My phone chimes as soon as we sit down to eat. Leigh’s number flashes across the screen. For some reason I feel guilty, like I’ve done something behind her back that I need an explanation for. “Hey, babe.”
“You out on the water?”
“No. We had a family emergency.”
“Oh no. Is everything okay?”
“It’s Brimley. He’s not good. I think he’s going to need surgery.”
She’s silent for a second. “I’m sorry, Brant. I know how much he means to you.”
“Yeah,” I’m choking on my words as it sinks in. “Hopefully he’ll make it.”
“I love you. Do you need me to skip my last class to come home?”
I nod, even though she’s unable to see it. “Actually, it would be nice to have you here, just in case I get bad news. I know he’s just a dog, but...”
“Don’t you dare apologize. He’s special to you. I understand. It’s one of the many reasons why I love you.”
“I’ll be at Dad’s house. Bristol’s pretty messed up too. I don’t want to leave her alone until we have some definite answers.”
“Dr. Sorenson will know what to do. I’ll be there soon, babe.”
When the call ends I realize I didn’t correct her. Leigh met Dr. Sorenson when we took the dogs for their shots. It was the same day I learned how allergic she was to animals. It started with a sneeze but then her eyes got puffy and she had to be driven home for medicine before her throat closed.
My mind begins to fill with worry when I consider telling her there is a new doctor in town, one that could potentially mess with my head. Jamie isn’t the one that got away. She’s the person I pushed away because I was a selfish heartbroken asshole with nothing to offer. She’s the woman my mother wanted me to have a future with. She’s the love I refused to allow myself to experience, because opening my heart would remind me of the parts of it that will forever remain empty.
Ten years ago I gave up on love.
I didn’t just give up on her.
I gave up on everything.
Chapter 3
Jamie
I’m hyperventilating before I hear them exit. With the poor canine in distress I know time is of the essence. I have to work fast, even if my brain is in overdrive. My stomach twists as I begin my investigation in finding the proper diagnosis. The condition I suspect is quite common in this breed of dogs, so once I’m positive, I begin proceeding with treatment.
I’m focused on the task, concentrating on the animal’s survival above my own emotions. With my assistant at my side, we begin to work on the dog, only to see his vitals dropping. This is what I was afraid of happening. If I lose this dog it won’t just be another owner I have to deliver bad news to. It’s Brant Wallace. He’ll blame me. He’ll probably say it was payback for how he treated me years ago.
Tears start to fill my eyes, voiding my ability to focus. I fight through them, forcing myself to persevere through this tough predicament.
I’m losing this poor suffering canine, and I know there’s little chance at saving him now. The damage is done, and because I’m unaware how long this was going on, it’s difficult to determine how bad the situation was until now.
While I continue to attempt to save this life, my mind goes into a frenzy of sorrow-filled memories.
It’s been about ten years since he shattered my heart and sent me away from this beautiful place with no intention of ever asking me to return. Brant made it clear. He didn’t want to continue our long distance relationship. In fact, his exact words still rip through me as I vividly recall them, all the separate conversations twisted into one gut-wrenching void in my heart.
“I’m nothing you want. I’m a liar, a cheater, and everything you wish you never knew. I never cared about you. It was all a game to me. There are plenty more where you came from, and the sooner you get that through your head the faster you’ll get the hell off my back.”
Those words would cripple me for months. If it hadn’t been for his brother, I wouldn’t have learned of the passing of his mother. He’d never told me she was ill, or that cancer was the culprit. He shut me out, pushed me away until there was no reason for me to come back. To this day, even in my current situation, no one has ever hurt me the way Brant did. He had me convinced we could build a future together. He promised me things that gave me hope we could survive the distance. I trusted him, only to have every single fear become my reality.
The last time I’d laid eyes on him had been from afar five years ago. I’d come to visit with my uncle, who was doing his best job to convince me to take over his veterinary practice. As much as I would have loved it, life was too demanding to allow the change.
Truth be told, this isn’t really about Brant, seeing him again, or the fact that this is his dog. It’s more. It’s so much more I feel sick over it. It’s the reason I finally conceded to take over my uncle’s veterinary practice in the first place.
I’m running from my own demons; ones that have nothing to do with the Wallace family.
Marriage was something I think I always wanted, as well as children. I had a couple boyfriends throughout my teenage years, and each time I wondered if they were the one I’d spend the rest of my life with. I love with my whole heart, which in turn has only proved to bring me pain and anguish.
Five years of marriage. Five long years of trial and tribulations. Five years of bickering, and feeling incompetent. Five years of dwelling on the negative, blaming myself for everything that went wrong. Five years of wasted time.
That’s what I’m faced with today.
I’ve been searching the silver lining, but have yet to come up with anything that can be considered positive. I married someone I thought I knew; someone I trusted wholeheartedly. It turns out people aren’t always who they say they are.
Coming back to Chincoteague felt like my only choice. I wanted a new start.
No.
I need it.
For the past three months I’ve done nothing but hide from reality. My friends, who were also my husband’s friends, voiced their opinions, but did little to comfort me. Instead they invited him out for drinks and dinner. They told me I was being irrational, and that in time I’d see that nothing was wrong with the way he handled things.
I shake off my negative mood. “Focus, Jamie,” I say in my head. Determined not to lose this animal, I work my skilled hands; performing a procedure I’ve done dozens of times before this.
My assistant watches the screen and calls out vitals while I continue working on the patient. Being a doctor was something I always wanted to do. I spent summers in this same establishment helping my uncle while soaking up knowledge of the practice like my brain was a dry sponge. This is the only place that can help make the pain go away. I’m empty inside. I was before Brant walked through the door, and I will still be when he comes to retrieve his dog. My despair is a long-term battle I’ve yet to settle within my soul. I’ve been stripped of happiness, and this time all I want to do is focus on the little I have left to look forward to in my life.
“His vitals are stabilizing,” my assistant Avery announces. As soon as she gives me the good news I start to come out of my worried state.
The procedure is over. We came close to losing this gentle creature, and thankfully he persevered through the worst. I’m grateful I don’t have to start my day with horrible news that devas
tates a family.
“How about you get this guy settled into a quiet space and let him sleep off the anesthesia? I’ll wait an hour or so before I have Joan call the owners.” It’s important to stay professional without warranting a ton of questions. These women both know I’ve spent a lot of time on the island. Joan even knows of my relationship with Brant, though she knows better not to bring it up. I’m sure my uncle explained why I stopped visiting, and it has everything to do with Brant.
Much to my dismay, this is also a place that brought joy to my life. It’s where I found solace and refuge. I’m not hiding. I’m not running. I’m starting over, because it’s the only way I know how to cope.
After removing my gloves, and washing up, I stare down at the wedding band I’ve yet to remove. It represented more than a commitment to me. It gave me hope and optimism, which are both gone and forgotten.
Carl Danvers broke my heart. It wasn’t like my relationship with Brant when we were just kids. My love for this man was infinite, at least in the beginning.
We’d met in college, became study partners, and eventually something more. We took our time, shared our aspirations and dreams, and eventually planned our future together as a couple.
He asked me to marry him during a family trip to Hawaii. I recall standing on the beach, crystal clear water hitting our feet as he stared into my desperate eyes. I knew it was coming. He’d been fidgeting with his pocket for nearly an hour, stumbling on the simplest of words. When he asked me to marry him the world stopped spinning, at least the way I felt it. Nothing else mattered. We were becoming one, making promises and plans. I can’t remember being happier, with the exception of our wedding day.
It wasn’t a huge affair, just friends and family. We married in the same church his parents attended; the quaint ceremony still resonates as being perfect in my eyes. We said our own vows, and as it all plays out in my mind I smile briefly.
It’s uncertain where and when it started going off track. After two years I’d landed a job at an animal hospital in New Jersey. We’d purchased a condo that I always felt was too small. Two years after that I wanted change. I longed for a house with a yard, so we could have animals and children.
Half Shelled Heart (Oyster Cove, #2) Page 2
