by Golden Angel
Hell, Leigh imagined herself handling it differently all the time, but she'd always wanted to make things work with Michael. So she'd given in on a lot of things that she'd never imagined she would and told herself that relationships were about compromise.
"Yes. Breaking up with Michael..." She tilted her head back, sighing, trying to find the words to help them all understand. It was kind of really nice that they were all here, so that she could try all at once. "That was seven years of my life, wasted. Seven years of work and effort and sacrifice for something that ultimately failed. Getting a chance to make those years mean something, to make them a success instead... at the very least I would have to think about it, if I didn't just jump at the chance immediately."
Quiet reined as they all digested her words. More than one of them took a sip of their drink. Not that anyone really needed much to drink after last night, but they all looked like there was some level of understanding in their expressions. A small realization of what Leigh and Jared might be up against when it came to the temptation that was their ex significant others.
Her phone vibrated in her pocket and Leigh fished it out.
Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
"I'll be right back," she said, standing up and heading towards the entrance to the restaurant. There was a small, glass entryway that was warm enough for her to stand in, especially if no one came into the restaurant and let in the cold air, and it would keep anyone from overhearing her conversation.
As she walked away, she heard them all start talking again, their voices lower now. They could say whatever they wanted as long as they weren't going to be too rough on Jared.
"Hello?"
"Happy New Year." The familiar sound of Michael's voice, which had always sounded like home to her, made her want to sigh. This was exactly what she had been talking about. It was hard to get away. Hard not to want. Hard not to think "what if" and hope for another chance.
"Happy New Year."
She leaned against the cool glass, watching her friends as they started laughing at something Jessica had said. The awkward silence between her and Michael grew. She wondered what he wanted to say. Part of her wanted to speak first, just to break the tension, but another part of her said no. Hadn't she just been thinking about how she was always the one to reach out to him?
"I missed you last night. It was weird without you."
Her heart melted a little, and then she reminded herself that it was his fault they'd been apart for the first time on the holiday.
"It was."
But she hadn't missed him after she'd talked to Jared about him. It had been like releasing the emotion by talking about it, and then she'd had a blast and hadn't thought of Michael until it was time for her to go to bed. Which wasn't unusual. She always thought about Michael before she went to sleep. Although lately she thought about Michael and Jared.
"So... what do you want to happen for you in this year?"
There was an eagerness in his voice, a desire to retread the same path they were so used to. Leigh closed her eyes. Being with Michael... it was like a merry-go-round. Circles and circles and circles, and she always got back on to ride again, even though the same thing always happened.
"I honestly don't know," she replied, finally.
She heard him take a breath. Knew he was waiting for her to ask him the same question.
This is how it would start. She could see it so clearly. Her next ride on the merry-go-round. Because he'd finally reached out to her, or at least, extended an invitation to a conversation that she could interpret as reaching out. So she'd step onto the ride, and ask him the question back, and he would say something sweet. Something coaxing. Probably something about how he wanted things to go back to the way they used to be. They'd start talking again. A real conversation. Then he'd ask to see her.
That was how it always began again. Simple, easy, gentle steps back down a slippery slope that ended with her desperately giving until everything crashed and burned.
Leigh could hear it in his voice. He was ready to take another ride. Eager for it even. Maybe he'd gotten tired of not having sex with anyone. Maybe he'd realized that finding another woman wasn't easy, although it would have been nice if he'd learned that the last two times he'd broken up with her to try and date other people.
The future spread out in front of her. She could choose. Choose to take another ride on the carousel with Michael, to see if maybe this time the ride would go forever. Choose that chance that she'd just told the girls about. Or she could choose to fight for Jared. To try and make something new with him. With someone who understood her and could probably use a hand breaking away from the past.
Or maybe...
Maybe she could just choose herself.
Why did it have to be between Michael or Jared? She wasn't really afraid of being without a man, was she?
What if she chose to just walk down the path to the future by herself? Maybe Jared would join her on that path, maybe he wouldn't, but she shouldn't have to fight for him. She didn't want to. She was so tired of fighting for someone else... maybe it was time to let someone else fight for her. Maybe it would be Michael. Maybe it would be Jared. Maybe it would be someone else entirely that she met in the future.
But either way, she needed to fight for herself.
"Michael? I've gotta go... was there something that you needed?"
"What-? Um... no... I just wanted to say Happy New Year." It didn't surprise her that he didn't try and keep her on the phone. The conversation had just gotten off the expected track and, sadly, Leigh doubted he would fight to get it back. She was right.
"Okay, well I hope you have a good year."
"Ah, right. You too."
Letting the phone drop away from her ear, Leigh looked into the restaurant at the truly awesome group of friends that she'd formed over the past year. A group of friends that she probably wouldn't have if she'd stayed with Michael. He would have never approved. A group of friends that, although new, would kick Jared's ass if they thought he'd hurt her.
She didn't know exactly where her year was going to go, she didn't know exactly what she wanted from the year, but she did know one thing. She knew that she was going to be okay.
"Happy fucking New Year," she whispered to herself.
Jared and Leigh story will continue in Breaking the Chain coming Fall 2015.
Two steps forward, one step back. That's how Jared's life feels when it comes to his ex Marissa. Every time he thinks he's escaped the vortex of her emotional demands, she ends up sucking him right back in; but for the first time, he thinks he might have the strength to pull free entirely. At least he hopes so. Right now it just seems like he's hurting everyone around him and he doesn't know how to make it right.
Leigh Douglas spent seven years with the man she thought she would one day marry, but she's now realized that she needs him to fight just as hard for her as she always fought for him. Unfortunately, Michael doesn't seem so inclined. On the other side of the equation, she's definitely falling for Jared, but he's still entangled with his ex. No one can understand the hooks that Marissa has in him like Leigh can, but that doesn't mean that she's willing to take the back-seat again in another relationship.
As Jared tries to side-step his ex and Leigh takes her first steps into the domination and submission filled world of the Stronghold club, their friends hold a collective breath as everyone wonders whose heart will be broken in the end.
About the Author
About me? Right… I’m a writer, I should be able to do that, right?
I’m a happily married young woman, no kids so far, and I like tater tots, small fuzzy animals, naming my plants, hiking, reading, writing, sexy time, naked time, shirtless o’clock, anything sparkly or shiny, and weirding people out with my OCD food habits.
I believe in Happy Endings. And fairies. And Santa Claus. Because without a little magic, what’s the point of living?
I write because I must. I live in s
everal different worlds at any given moment. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Want to know more about my other books and stories? Check out http://goldeniangel.blogspot.com/.
Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed the story… and don’t forget, the best thing you can do in return for any author is to leave them feedback!
Stay sassy.
