“He was so nice, and when I started to cry, he put his arm around me and just waited. I don't know why I ended up spilling my whole life to a guy I'd just met, but I did. I even told him I was pregnant.” I looked up to see that Jay was listening, watching me intently with those green eyes that I still saw every time I closed my own.
“Matt and I began to hang out, and it was great, because the guys stopped hitting on me, and he never pushed for anything. He was a friend. A true friend. When I lost the baby, he was with me at the hospital, and he never corrected the nurses or doctors when they assumed he was the dad. He was just there for me.” I was trying to keep the tears from falling, but it was no use. The memory was still as fresh today as it was back then.
“Matt was still the only person who knew what was going on. My roommate thought I had food poisoning.” I chuckled, shaking my head. “Matt asked if I wanted to pretend we were a couple so that I could deal with things without anyone questioning me. I felt bad that he was taking himself off the market and not getting anything from it, but he assured me it was helping him too.”
“I don't get it, Abby. Why would a guy do that? It just doesn't make sense.” Jay was right. It didn't make sense, but Matt had his own reasons. It was a mutually beneficial situation.
“Matt was in college on a full-ride scholarship for soccer. He was an amazing player and got along great with his teammates, but that would have all changed if they knew about the person he was in love with.” Jay tilted his head, not quite understanding.
“Matt was gay, Jay. He had a boyfriend who was in college in California. They met at soccer camp in high school and fell in love. If Matt came out in college, he would’ve had to deal with so much shit. By pretending to be my boyfriend, we both got what we needed.” The shocked look on Jay's face made me giggle.
“So you guys never...”
I laughed. “No, definitely not.”
“Thank God,” he mumbled.
“What was that?” I asked, still laughing. For a brief moment, things felt so normal.
“Nothing.” He shook his head, squeezing my hands. “Abby, I am so fucking sorry you dealt with all of this on your own. God, I wish I had been there for you, but I'm thankful you had Matt.” Jay let go of my hand and ran his hands through his hair. “Have you signed up for any excursions?” It was a random change of topic, but welcomed.
“Uh, no. I was going to wait until Matt and I got on the ship, but then he decided to go to California right away instead. Why?”
“Would you be opposed to hanging out with me? No pressure,” he added quickly. The idea of having someone to spend time with was great. I just hoped I would be able to put the past in check so I could enjoy myself.
I nodded, and he clapped his hands. “Awesome!” He stood quickly and turned away.
“Wait, where are you going?” I asked as he started to walk off.
“I’m going to go get us set up. Trust me, okay?” I just nodded. What did I have to lose? “I'll find you later!” he shouted over his shoulder as he walked out of the dining room.
This could be bad ... really bad.
***
The sun felt incredible as I lay back on the lounge chair, sipping on some very tropical drink of the day. I let my eyes drift shut, enjoying the sensations as the sea breeze danced over my warm skin. This relaxation was exactly what I needed after the emotional start to my cruise. I was surprised at how much better I felt after talking to Jay. I obviously needed some type of closure. There were so many things I had held onto for years, and I hadn’t realized how much I needed to just release them.
“What the...!” The cold water dripping on my bare stomach had me sitting up and gasping, only to find Jay standing over me with a smirk on his face. His cold drink dripped condensation over me, and if the sly look on his face was any indication, he knew exactly what he was doing. Some things never changed.
“Whatcha doing, Abby?” he asked as he tossed a towel onto the lounge next to me and sat down.
“You haven’t changed a bit, have you?” I giggled as I wiped the now-warm fluid from my belly.
“This is nice,” Jay groaned as he lay back, stretching out. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, thankful for the dark sunglasses. Jay was just as I remembered him, but even better. I had no idea that was even possible. The years had been very good to him. His lean teenage body had filled in perfectly, leaving him with a broad, muscular chest, narrow waist, and lean hips. I felt a hint of warmth as I looked at him that had nothing to do with the sun.
“Like what you see, Abby?”
“What?” His question brought me out of my lust-induced trance. “I wasn’t looking at you, Jay,” I protested unconvincingly.
“Okay, Abby, if you say so.” He lifted his sunglasses and winked at me.
“Still full of yourself, I see.” I shook my head, thankful for the warmth of the day to cover some of the flush from my embarrassment. He threw his head back and laughed, and I couldn’t help but join him. God, I’d missed that laugh.
The rest of the day was spent by the pool or in the pool. Jay occasionally would venture off to the bar and snack bar and come back loaded with food and tropical drinks. Thankfully, it was so hot and the drinks were watered down, or I may not have been able to walk.
“What did you do after I left?” I sipped on my drink and watched as Jay rubbed suntan lotion on his chest, trying very hard to not dribble the frozen concoction out of my mouth and embarrass myself further.
“Well, I called and called, but I think you knew that.” He smiled slightly, looking a bit sad as he set the bottle of lotion aside. “I contemplated driving down to see you, but school started, and I just immersed myself in that.” He shrugged. I could hear the sadness in his voice, and realized that I had hurt him as much as he had hurt me. I hadn’t thought that was even possible, but it was obvious I was wrong.
“I finished up my first two years at the community college and was able to get some grants to attend Virginia Tech, where I got my Engineering degree in their accelerated program. I’ve been working for a Department of Defense contractor for the past year.”
“Wow, Jay! That is really great.” For a guy who had been so unsure of what he wanted to do, he really had it all figured out. “Where do you live now?”
“Outside of D.C.” He grinned, and it dawned on me that he knew exactly where I would be working.
“I suppose my mom told you where I got a job, huh?” I had accepted a job at one of the D.C. suburb high schools as a counselor.
He chuckled. “Guilty. I weaseled a lot of information from your mom over the years.” He shrugged.
“You do realize you’re pretty much a stalker, right?”
“Yup, but I’m here with you now, so I’d say it was all worth it.” After all this time, the man could still make my heart race with just a smile.
“I’m glad.” I smiled back. God help me, I really was.
“Me too, Abby ... me too.”
Chapter 6
Jay
I stood outside Abby’s door, once again hesitating before knocking. From the moment that we laid everything out, we seemed to have fallen back into a comfortable friendship. I was amazed at how easy it was to ease back into conversation with her. She was holding back—hesitant—but I understood.
I’d never been able to understand how she could throw away so many years of friendship—and even more—four years ago. As much as I loved her, I had been hurt and pissed off. I dated, if you could call it that, throwing myself into bed with women in hopes of evicting Abby from my mind and heart, but it never worked. Eventually I just stopped, and promised myself to wait until I found someone I could love again, but deep down I always hoped it would be Abby; she was imbedded in my soul.
Now that I knew the truth behind her leaving, the idea of her alone at college, going through a miscarriage on her own, broke my heart. If I could’ve changed anything about the past, I would have never gone to that stupid party, never
put myself in a position for Jenna to kiss me, and never made Abby feel like she had no other choice but to run.
I was so lost in thought that when the door opened, I jumped back, nearly falling down, thankful for the narrow hallways and the wall that broke my fall.
“Shit, Jay!” Abby jumped back, pressing her back against the open door and covering her mouth with her hand. “You scared me!” She giggled, and I smiled. I had always loved that carefree giggle. It had been one of the first things that had drawn me to her all those years ago.
“Wow, you look gorgeous!” I remarked as I righted myself, smoothing my suit jacket. She was wearing a knee-length red dress with spaghetti straps. Her legs were tanned and smooth, and seemed to go on forever before meeting up with her black strappy heels. Her dark hair hung in large curls around her shoulders, and I wanted to bury my hands in it.
“You clean up quite well yourself.” She smiled, giving me the once-over.
“May I escort you to dinner?” I held out my arm and grinned when she rolled her eyes, taking my arm anyway. We walked without speaking, and stopped briefly to have our picture taken before entering the dining room.
We were greeted by a grinning Mellie as we sat down. She nudged my shoulder and nodded. I knew Abby had to be wondering what that was all about, but she seemed content, and Mellie wasn’t spouting random comments for once, so we all just went with it.
“Do you want to go dancing?” I asked as we left the dining room. I was hoping she wasn’t ready to call it a night. I remembered how much she had loved to dance, and was hoping that my offer would entice her to stay out with me. I just wanted to feel her in my arms again.
“You dance?” She raised her eyebrows. I knew she had never seen me dance in all the years I’d known her, other than the slow dance on the dock the night I told her I was in love with her.
“I can dance.” I laughed, hoping like hell that I wouldn’t make an utter fool of myself, but content that it would be fine as long as she was having a good time.
“Okay, let’s go.” She grinned and took my hand, pulling me toward the stairs so we could find one of the many nightclubs on the ship. We settled for a nineties-theme. The music pumped through the room, rattling the floor. Dim lights created a nightlife ambiance, complemented by the flashing, colored lights and occasional strobe lights. At least with the lighting, I wouldn’t look like such an uncoordinated mess.
“Let’s get a drink first.” I pulled her to the bar, ordering us each a cocktail.
“Need a bit of liquid courage, Jay?” she teased lightheartedly.
“Exactly.” I grinned as I downed my drink and ordered another one, looking around the dark club. The dance floor lit up again with the next song, and the smiles and laughter excited me. I could see that Abby wasn’t going to wait any longer as she wiggled in place. Quickly downing the rest of my drink, I grabbed Abby’s hand and pulled her to the center of the dance floor.
The music flowed through me as I watched Abby move and spin, entranced by her fluid movements. I could feel my cheeks getting sore from smiling so much, loving how carefree she was when she danced, and I realized how much I needed this. I started to let go and was pleasantly surprised that I was actually not a bad dancer after all.
Song after song, we danced, grinning at each other, flirting with small touches as we moved around each other. I grabbed her hand and spun her away from me, quickly pulling her back, loving the way she threw her head back, laughing hysterically. When I repeated the same move, Abby lost her footing, causing her to fall directly into my arms as she spun back, just as the song switched from an upbeat number to a slow one. My grip tightened on her waist, holding her in place, afraid she would try to get away.
I felt the moment Abby let her reservations go and melted into my arms as we moved slowly to the music. I could feel the warmth of her skin against my lips, sending shockwaves of excitement through my entire body. “God, Abby,” I groaned, causing her to lift her face, meeting my eyes as our lips settled only inches apart. One lean, that’s all it would take from either of us to close the distance. My entire body fit perfectly against hers, and suddenly I was sure she could feel the effect our closeness was having on me as my hardness pressed against her stomach.
Abby closed her eyes and shuddered. I tried to get myself together—to make some sort of rational thought—but I was so lost in her. I began to lean in slightly, having waited for this moment for four years.
Abby took a sudden step back, biting her lip nervously, and shook her head. “I think we better call it a night, Jay,” she whispered. My eyes searched hers, and I was sure I could see fear. Things had been going so well, and I didn’t want to push it, so I just nodded and took her hand, leading us out of the club.
We didn’t speak on the way back to our cabins, but she didn’t pull her hand away either. When we reached her door, I leaned down and placed a soft kiss to her head. “Goodnight, Abby.” I squeezed her hand before releasing it and inhaled her sweet scent that was a mixture of lilacs, vanilla, and sweat. It was intoxicating, and I knew I would need a cold shower for sure.
“Goodnight, Jay,” she whispered, and retreated quickly into the safety of her room.
Slowly I made my way down the hallway, painfully aroused, and knowing that I was going to have to take matters into my own hands if I planned on getting any sleep tonight.
Chapter 7
Abby
I sat with the coffee cup in my hands, absently swirling the dark liquid and looking out the window at the beautiful Caribbean city where the ship had docked as we slept—well at least for me, tried to sleep.
My mind kept replaying my evening with Jay, and I was kicking myself for holding back. It scared me how easy it was to fall into a comfortable routine with him again. Four years of missing him had almost been wiped away in just one day. I wasn’t sure if my heart could take another separation; I was terrified to lose him again.
“You look tired.” I smiled at the sound of his voice.
“Good morning, Jay.” I watched as he slid in across from me with a huge plate of food.
“Eat up, Abby. We’ve got a big day planned.” He grinned at me as he shoved a piece of bacon in his mouth.
“Do you want to share our plans with me?” I reached over and grabbed a danish from his plate, taking a bite and closing my eyes at the taste of the delicious, sweet goodness.
Jay reached toward me, wiping his thumb across my lips before bringing it to his own mouth and licking it. “Yum.” He grinned when my mouth dropped open.
I could see so much of the younger Jay I always knew in the man before me, yet there was so much more to him now. His actions and words held a confidence that the younger Jay had never had, and it turned me on like crazy. Beyond the boy I loved was a strong man, one who I was having a very hard time staying away from.
“Wear your tennis shoes and something you can move in.”
“That’s it? That’s all I’m getting out of you?” I shook my head. The idea of not knowing what I was in for both excited and scared me.
“Trust me, okay? I’ll take care of you.” His eyes said so much more than his words did, and I had to look away so I could control my emotions. I knew he would take care of me, and I wanted him to—God, I really wanted him to.
My phone buzzed in my pocket as I looked out the window. Pulling it out, I couldn’t help but smile when I saw Matt’s name. “Matt,” I mouthed to Jay before answering it.
“Hello?”
“Hi, sweetie, are you in Honduras?” His friendly voice warmed my heart.
“Yes, are you stalking me through the cruise itinerary?” I laughed, knowing that was exactly what he was doing. “Hey, why are you calling me? Shouldn’t you be in the middle of some happy reunion with your man?”
“I had to come up for air, literally, and I wanted to make sure you were okay.” I glanced at Jay and giggled at the shocked look on his face. He could obviously hear Matt through the phone.
“So,
are you miserable and alone and missing me terribly?” I could tell Matt meant it as a joke, but there was still a hint of concern in his voice, and I knew he was worried about me.
“I do miss you terribly, but I have to admit that I am neither miserable nor alone.” I winked at Jay, enjoying the way his face broke out into a huge smile from my words.
“Wait, what? Did you meet someone? Abby, you better spill right now,” Matt demanded.
“I actually met up with an old friend.” I grinned at Jay before continuing, “Did I ever tell you about a guy named Jay?” I braced myself for Matt’s reaction.
“Bullshit! Jay is there? How? Holy shit, are you okay? Do I need to hop on a plane, ’cause I totally will, Abby.” Jay raised his eyebrows, and then chuckled as Matt’s words came through the phone loud and clear. “Wait, is he there?”
I couldn’t control my laughter. “Yes, he is, and no you don’t need to hop on a plane, but I love you for even thinking you should. I’m okay ... better than okay, actually. I’ll call you when I get back to Florida.”
“Okay, but Abby, please be careful.” He had seen me at my lowest, and I know he was afraid I would end up there again.
“I will.” I disconnected the call and looked at Jay.
“Wow.” He just shook his head and chuckled.
“He’s gotten to be a bit protective over the years,” I explained.
“I’m glad you have him. It sounds like he truly cares about you.” Jay looked a bit sad suddenly, and I had to wonder why the change. I didn’t even have to ask before he felt the need to explain. “It should’ve been me. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, Abby.”
“Don’t, Jay. I know you would’ve been if I’d let you.” My own stubbornness had kept us apart all of these years. I knew who was really the one to blame.
***
I looked out the window at the sign that read ‘Canopy Tours,’ and my heart started to race. “You can’t be serious.” I turned and looked at a very pleased Jay. He must have completely lost his mind if he thought I was going to go on a zipline.
An Unexpected Journey: A Second Chance Novella Page 3
