Cassie hated to place all her hope, all her heart, on one man...but how could she not, when he’d captured her heart the instant they’d been intimate in that attic?
Not wanting to miss out on a single moment, Cassie jumped into the ocean, reached beneath the water and pinched Ian on the butt.
The grin he threw over his shoulder at her told her she was in for a fun night.
* * *
Rocking a now peaceful baby had Ian truly wishing for so much. He’d convinced Cassie that he could put Emily to bed. He figured the little one was so tired from the day of playing in the ocean and taking a stroller ride around his neighborhood that she’d fall fast asleep.
She’d been fussy at first and Cassie had shown Ian how to rub some numbing ointment onto Emily’s gums. He’d given Emily a bottle, even burped her, and rocked her until her sweet breath evened out.
He glanced down to the puckered lips, the pink cheeks from the sun—even though they’d slathered her with sunscreen—and smiled. Was it any wonder Cassie worked herself to death? How could a parent not want to sacrifice herself to make such an innocent child happy?
Cassie worked so hard with her sister, worked harder in the stables caring for horses, and she busted her butt to make a secure life and happy home for Emily...all without a husband.
Oh, she’d be ticked if she knew he worried about her not having someone in her life to help her. Granted, she had her father, Tessa and Linda, but whom did she have at night? Who helped her at home?
God help him, but Ian wanted to be that man. The weight of a sleeping baby in his arms, the sweet smell of her skin after her bath and the thought that this innocent child had complete and total trust in him were truly humbling.
Once he knew she was asleep, Ian eased from the rocking chair and laid Emily into the new crib, complete with pink-and-white-striped sheets. When he stood up, she stirred a little, but she settled right in.
A sigh of relief escaped Ian. He’d mastered numerous multimillion-dollar movie deals, he rubbed elbows with A-list actors and he’d managed to start his own agency at the age of twenty-four. But putting a child to sleep all by himself felt like quite an accomplishment.
He glanced at the monitor beside the crib and made sure it was on before he stepped out into the hall and quietly shut the door behind him.
He barely managed not to jump when he noticed Cassie across the hall, leaning against the doorway to his bedroom.
“You did it,” she said with a wide smile. “I’m impressed.”
All thoughts fled his mind as he took in the muted glow that surrounded her from the small lamp in his room. Her long red curls slid around her shoulders, lying against the stark white silk robe she wore—and what she wasn’t wearing beneath. The V in the front plunged so deep, the swells of her breasts begged for his touch.
“I like your pajamas,” he told her, crossing the hallway and immediately going to the belt on her robe. “Reminds me of something...”
Cassie lifted her arms to wrap around his neck. “What’s that?”
“The fact I haven’t seen you naked in several days.”
She shifted, allowing the material to slide from her shoulders and puddle at her feet. Ian’s hands roamed over the soft, lush curves he’d come to love and crave.
“You feel so good,” he groaned as he trailed his lips from her jawline down the smooth column of her neck. “So perfect.”
When she trembled beneath his touch, Ian cupped her behind and pulled her flush against his body. Nothing had ever felt so right. Every time Cassie was in his arms, contentment settled deeper and deeper into his heart.
She undressed him rapidly, matching his own frenzy. Ian had brought other women to his home. Not many, but a few. Yet he knew the second he laid Cassie beneath him and looked down into her blue eyes...he never wanted another woman in this bed.
* * *
He knew she wasn’t asleep. The full moon shone through the wide expanse of windows across the room from the king-size bed and directly across their tangled bodies.
Cassie’s breathing wasn’t even and he’d felt the soft flutter of her lashes against his arm. Whatever thoughts consumed her mind, they were keeping her awake.
More than likely they were the same things that had him awake hours after they’d made love...twice.
Ian trailed his fingertips over her hip, down into the dip of her waist and back again. Goose bumps prickled beneath his touch.
“Talk to me,” she whispered in the darkened room.
Words that had frightened him on more than one occasion after sex. But this was so different from any other time. First, Cassie was like no other woman. Second, what had just happened between them was so far beyond sex. And third, he actually didn’t cringe as the words hovered in the air between them.
Moreover, he wanted to talk to her. He wanted her to know about his past, his life and what had brought him to this point...and why the thought of commitment scared the hell out of him.
Part of him truly wanted to try for her. Never before had he even considered permanent anything in his life, let alone a woman and a child. Cassie changed everything for him, because she was starting to be everything for him.
Of course, there was that devil on his shoulder that kept telling him he couldn’t just try out playing house with this woman. She was genuine, with real feelings and a heart of gold that she had to protect. If he attempted to try for a long-term spot in her life and things didn’t work out, he would never be able to forgive himself.
“My childhood wasn’t quite as rosy and enjoyable as yours.” The words tumbled out before he thought better of opening up about the past he hated to even think about. “My father was a military man. Things had to be perfect, and not just perfect, but done five minutes ago. When he was home on leave, if I had a chore, I had better get to it the second he told me or I would face punishment.”
Cassie gasped next to him. “He hit you?”
Ian stared up at the darkened ceiling as he continued to trail his fingertips over her lush, naked curves. “On occasion. But it wasn’t a beating. He was old-school and a hand to my backside wasn’t unheard of. But then he came home less and less because he and my mother divorced. That’s when she started bringing her male friends into the house.”
Ian recalled how weird it felt having a strange man at the breakfast table when he woke up, but eventually he didn’t question his mother...and he didn’t ask the names of the men. Would it matter? They’d be gone when she finished with them anyway.
“My mom is currently in the middle of her fourth divorce and I’ve no doubt number five is waiting in the wings absolutely convinced he’s the one.”
Cassie’s arm tightened around his abdomen. “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine.”
Her warm breath tickled his chest, but Ian wouldn’t have it any other way. He loved the feel of her tucked perfectly against him, her hair falling over his shoulder, the flutter of her lashes against his side.
“Don’t be sorry,” he told her. “There are kids way worse off than I was. But I always wished I had parents who loved each other, who loved me. A family was everything to me when I was younger, but I wanted the impossible.”
A drop of moisture slid down his side. Ian shifted his body, folding Cassie closer as he half loomed over her.
“Don’t cry for me.” In the pale moonlight, her eyes glistened. Had anyone ever cried for him before? “I’m fine, Cassie. I guess I just wanted you to know what I came from.”
Soft fingertips came up to trail down his cheek. Her thumb caressed his bottom lip, and his body responded instantly.
“I’m crying for the little boy who needed love and attention,” she whispered. “And I’m crying for the man who fits so perfectly into my family, I’m terrified of how we’ll get along without him.”
Her declaration was a punch to his gut. The fact that they’d never mentioned his leaving after the film wrapped hung heavy in the air between them. And knowing she not only worri
ed about his absence, but she’d cried over it had him hating himself on so many levels.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he murmured as he slid his lips across hers. “That’s the last thing I’d ever want.”
Adjusting her body so she could frame his face with her hands, Cassie looked up at him with those damn misty eyes and smiled. “I know. I went into this with my eyes wide-open. For right now, though, you’re mine and I don’t want to think about tomorrow, Ian. I don’t want to worry about that void that will inevitably come when you’re gone.”
Her hips tilted against his. “I just want you. Here. Now.”
As he kissed her lips he had a hard time reining in his own emotions, because Cassie was dead-on about one thing.... There would most definitely be a void—the one he would feel without her by his side.
Sixteen
Cassie reached across the bed, only to encounter cool sheets. Quickly she sat up, clutching the material to her chest and glancing to the nightstand clock.
How on earth had she slept until nine? Between having a career set around a working horse farm and being a single mother, sleeping in was a foreign concept and a luxury she simply couldn’t afford.
Another reality hit her hard as she jerked to look at the baby monitor on the dresser across the room. The red light wasn’t on, which meant at some point the device had been turned off. Throwing the covers aside, Cassie grabbed the first available article of clothing—which happened to be Ian’s T-shirt—and pulled the soft cotton over her head. She inhaled the embedded masculine scent of Ian as she darted across the hall.
The nursery was empty. Giggling erupted from downstairs, so Cassie turned and headed toward the sweet sound. At the base of the steps, Cassie froze as she stared into the living room. Ian stood behind Emily, her little hands held high, clutching on to his as he helped her walk across the open space. He’d pushed the coffee table against one wall, leaving the dark hardwood floor completely open.
Emily squealed as she waddled through the area, and Cassie, who still stood unnoticed, had to bite her lip to control the trembling and wash of emotions that instantly consumed her.
Ian Shaffer had officially stolen her heart, and there was no way she could go back to her life before she’d ever met him. The man had opened his home to her and her daughter. He wasn’t just interested in having her in his bed. Granted, that was how they’d started out, but over a brief period of time they’d grown together and meshed in such a way that had Cassie hopeful and wishing. Dare she set her sights so high and dream for things that once seemed unattainable?
“Mamamama,” Emily cried when she saw Cassie in the doorway.
Cassie stepped toward her daughter and squatted down. “Hey, sweet pea. Are you making Ian work this morning?”
Emily’s precious two-toothed grin melted her heart. When she glanced up to meet Ian’s gaze, her breath literally caught. He still clung to Emily’s fingers and he’d been hunched over so he could accommodate her height, but he just looked so at peace and happy.
“What time did she get up?”
Ian shrugged. “Maybe around seven.”
Cassie straightened. “Why didn’t you get me up?”
Scooping Emily into his arms, Ian smiled. “Because you needed to sleep, so I turned the monitor off and got her out of the crib. She’s been changed and fed—probably not how you’d do it, but it’s done nonetheless.”
Cassie was utterly speechless. The man had taken such care of her daughter all so Cassie could sleep in. He’d been watching and loving over Emily...over another man’s baby, and all without a care or second thought. And now he stood holding her as if the act were the most natural thing in the world.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he told her. Emily turned her head into Ian’s shoulder and his wide, tanned hand patted her tiny back. “I wanted to help and I knew you’d refuse if you even thought she was awake. Besides, I kind of wanted to see how Emily and I would get along. I’m pretty sure she loves me.”
Cassie couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sure she does love you. She knows a good thing when she sees it.”
Ian’s eyes widened, and the muscle in his jaw moved as if he were hiding his words deep within. Had she said too much? At this point, with time against them, Cassie truly believed she couldn’t hold back. She needed to be up front and honest.
“I’m not saying that to make you uncomfortable,” she informed him, crossing her arms over her chest. “But you have to know this is so much more than physical for me, Ian.”
Those dark eyes studied her a second before he nodded. “I’d be lying if I said this was all sexual for me. You and Emily...”
He shook his head as his words died on his lips. Cassie wanted him to go on, but she knew the internal battle he waged with himself and she didn’t want to push him. He’d opened up to her last night, bared his soul, and she knew what he’d shared hadn’t come easy for him.
Placing a hand on his arm, Cassie smiled. “We don’t need to define anything right now,” she assured him. “I just wanted you to know this thing between us—it matters so much to me.”
With Emily lying against one shoulder, Ian pulled Cassie to his other side and wrapped an arm around her. “Everything in my arms right now matters more to me than I ever thought possible,” he told her with a kiss to the top of her head.
Before she could completely melt into a puddle at his feet over his raw, heartfelt words, Ian’s hand slid down her side and cupped her bottom beneath his T-shirt.
“This shirt never looked this sexy on me,” he growled into her ear. “So unless you want to end up back in bed, you better go get some clothes on.”
Shivers of arousal swept through her. Would she ever get enough of him? More so, would he get enough of her?
Tipping her head back, she stared up into his eyes. Desire and, dare she say, love stared back at her. No, she didn’t think they’d get enough of each other, which meant whatever they were building wouldn’t come crumbling down when he left Virginia after the film was done shooting. But how they would manage was a whole other hurdle to jump.
Extracting herself from his side, Cassie pulled Emily from his arms. “How about we spend the day on the beach?” she suggested.
Emily’s little hand went into Cassie’s hair, and she started winding the strands around her baby fingers.
“You in a suit?” Ian’s gaze raked over her once more. “I’d never say no to that.”
With this being their last day of complete relaxation, Cassie wanted to live for the moment, this day, and not worry about what obstacles they faced tomorrow or even next week. She was completely in love with Ian. He wasn’t a rebound; he wasn’t a filler or a stepping-stone until the next chapter of her life.
Ian Shaffer was the next chapter of her life.
Seventeen
“I just need someone who’s good with advertising,” Cassie muttered as she stared down at the new plans for her riding school for handicapped children.
“How about that hunky agent you’re shacking up with?”
Cassie threw a glare across the room at her sister. Tessa silently volleyed back a wicked grin.
“We’re not shacking up.” Not technically, anyway. “And that’s not his job.”
“Maybe not,” Tessa replied, coming to her feet. “But he’d know more about it than we would, and I guarantee he’d do anything to help you.”
More than likely, but Cassie wasn’t going to ask. Venturing into personal favors would imply something...something they’d yet to identify in their relationship.
Yes, they’d admitted they had strong feelings for each other, but after the giant leap into intimacy, they’d pulled back the emotional roller coaster and examined where they were going.
And they still didn’t know.
Cassie spoon-fed another bite of squash and rice to Emily. Right now she needed to focus on the final race of the season, getting her school properly advertised and caring for her daughter. Ian, unfortunately
, would have to fall in line behind all of that and she highly doubted he would want to. What man would? He deserved more than waiting on her leftover time.
“You’re scowling.” Tessa came to stand beside the high chair and leaned against the wall. “What’s really bothering you?”
Sisters. They always knew when to dig deeper and pull the truth from the depths of hell just to make you say the words aloud.
“Ian is out to dinner with Lily.”
A quirk of a smile danced around Tessa’s mouth. “You’re jealous? Honey, the man is absolutely crazy about you. All you’d have to do is see how he looks at you when you aren’t paying attention.”
The idea that he studied her enough to show emotion on his face for others to see made her way more thrilled than she should be. She wanted to tell him she’d fallen for him—she wanted to tell everybody. But there was that annoying little voice that kept telling her this was too good to be true and that she needed to come back to reality before she ended up hurt.
“He’s not like Derek,” Tessa informed her as if she were reading her mind. “Ian may be younger, but he’s all man and he’s only got eyes for you.”
Cassie smiled with a nod and scooped up the last bite, shoving it into Emily’s waiting mouth. “I know. There’s just that thread of doubt that gets to me, and I know it’s not Ian’s fault. He can’t help the mess that is my life.”
Laying a hand over Cassie’s arm, Tessa squeezed. “Your life is beautiful. You have a precious baby, an awesome career and the best sister anyone could ever ask for. What more could a girl want?”
To be loved. The words remained in her head, in her heart.
“So where’s your guy tonight?” Cassie asked, wiping off the orange, messy mouth, hoping to unearth her daughter. “You two aren’t normally separated for more than an hour at a time.”
With a smile that could only be equated to love, Tessa positively beamed. “He’s going over some things with Bronson and Anthony. I’m pretty sure Dad weaseled his way into that meeting, as well.”
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