by Conley, Anne
“So what do we do now?” His voice was quiet, his food untouched.
“Wait until after the holidays. Then we’ll discuss it. But we’ve got to have some semblance of normalcy for the children.”
Bryan nodded, not saying anything else, until they finally gave up and boxed up the food to-go.
Amy spent her days chatting online with Cool_Hand_Luke and getting ready for Christmas. Her house was now covered in red and gold bows, as well as an inordinate amount of angels. She did a lot of baking for the holidays, as that was what she gifted most everybody. She did some shopping for the kids, and decided to buy Bryan some cologne for Christmas. She needed to get him something to unwrap in front of the kids, but she didn't want to put a lot of thought into a gift for him, because it hurt. She figured he could wear the cologne for his new girlfriend. Whatever. Amy and the kids decorated the house and wrapped presents and did other holiday-type things. Nobody seemed to notice that Amy wasn't really with them.
Bryan had been acting funny, too. He seemed to want to talk more, but every time he started, she shook her head. Amy didn’t want to get down and dirty with the details until after the holidays. She could only do one thing at a time, and pretending she was happy at Christmas time was hard enough. She assumed his thoughts were running along the same lines as hers were. She knew he was feeling guilty about throwing away their marriage vows and the family they had worked so hard to build. She was too.
Chapter 7:
Christmas dinner was the usual hectic bustle. Presents were unwrapped by the Christmas tree, amidst much ooohing and aaaahing. The kids loved their gifts, a new video game console for Brad and a gift card to a clothing boutique downtown for Ashley. Bryan pursed his lips and thanked Amy for the cologne. She was shocked at his gift for her though. It was a band of diamonds to wear with her wedding band set.
When she unwrapped his present, she looked up at him, speechless.
He looked at her sheepishly. "When we got married, I couldn't afford much. I've been meaning to get you something nice to wear with your wedding band. I hope that's okay…"
"It's beautiful, Bryan." She put it on with her other rings, and admired the three bands together, knowing she wouldn't wear them long. Trying to divert attention from herself, she stood. "I've got to get the Ribeye in the oven."
The rest of the morning flew by, in a whirlwind of activity, Amy rushing around the kitchen getting everything ready: potatoes au gratin, green bean casserole, corn on the cob, and fresh yeast rolls. For dessert, she was making a lemon meringue pie, Ashley's favorite.
When lunch was ready, she put everything on the table, and stuck the pie in the oven to toast the meringue before sitting down to eat.
"Why didn't Aunt Kathy come eat lunch with us?" Ashley asked. Amy knew that Ashley had a thing for Luke, but wasn't about to say anything.
"She and Luke were having a special Christmas together," Amy responded, willing her jealousy to subside. She had no right to be jealous of Kathy's relationship with Luke, even if he did appear to dote on her. Amy knew Kathy wasn't totally happy there, either.
"Oh…" Ashley sounded dejected.
Brad made a comment that elicited a kick from Ashley under the table, which Amy pointedly ignored.
"I really enjoyed your show last weekend, Ashley. I need to go to more of those things." Bryan piped up.
"They're more fun than you realize." Amy tried to hide the disdain from her voice, but it was hard. Bryan went to one event and expected nothing but praise for his efforts. Amy went to every single one, and she never received any appreciation, whatsoever.
"It was just cool to have the whole family there for once, instead of just Mom and Brad." Well, acknowledgement was pretty close to appreciation.
"See how this whole supportive family thing works, Ashley?" The comment was directed at Ashley, but her underlying meaning was pointed at Bryan. He had to understand that everybody had to do it, including him.
"You outdid yourself, honey. These rolls are amazing." Bryan was looking at her, an unreadable expression on his face. He'd been looking at her like that a lot lately. It made Amy uncomfortable.
"Shit! The pie!" Amy sprang from her chair and raced into the kitchen to find a blackened meringue pie in the oven. Tears of frustration sprang to her eyes. She swiped at them, while she tried to get the pie out. Her hand accidentally brushed against the heating element in the oven, and she shouted another obscenity.
Bryan was behind her in an instant.
"Let me see it. Are you alright?" He grasped her hand gently, looking for the burn. When he found it, he led Amy to the sink to run cold water over her hand.
"I'm fine. Let me go." The hoarseness of her voice surprised her. Bryan dropped her hand as if it burned him. He looked at her with eyes filled with sadness, before taking a step back.
"Okay." Slowly, he turned and left the room.
She stood at the sink awhile, swiping tears from her eyes, letting the water run over her burn. She needed to talk to somebody who cared.
"Mom?" Brad's voice made her turn.
"Yeah, sweetie?"
"Can I go hook up my games? Please?"
She nodded. "Of course you can. I'm surprised you haven't done it already."
"MOM!"
Ashley's shriek had Amy running for the front of the house. "What?"
There was a brand new Mustang parked in her driveway, with Ashley's friend Meredith in the driver's seat.
"Seriously? You got a car, Meredith?"
"Yes, Mrs. Caldwell. Isn't it awesome?" Shrieks and jumping drowned out any response Amy may have had.
"And I suppose you want to take Ashley for a spin?"
"I was going to drive out and show Kelly and was wondering if Ashley could come along?"
Kelly was a friend, whose dad had been killed when she was a baby around Christmas time. The holidays without a dad seemed to be hard on her sometimes. Amy felt bad for her mom though. The entire town knew the circumstances of the accident, though most had forgotten by now.
"You'll be careful, and won't drive recklessly?"
"Of course."
"Fine. But remember, it's Christmas. There may not be that many people available to gloat to…Ashley you need to be back in two hours."
"Thanks, mom."
Amy decided to save cleaning the kitchen until later. It was Christmas after all. Bryan had disappeared to his man cave after dinner. She wondered how Cool_Hand_Luke was faring at his house. She wondered if he was busy. Walking up to her bedroom, she logged onto the computer. Cool_Hand_Luke was on. And he wasn't messing around.
Cool_Hand_Luke: Let's meet New Year's. Do you think you can get away for the evening?
Amy's pulse raced. This was it. Do or die, so to speak. She'd been wanting to meet him, to see if the spark was there in person.
Mommee_dearest: Yes. I'll meet you. Where?
Cool_Hand_Luke: Do you know Serendipity? A place called the Gin?
Mommee_dearest: Yes.
Cool_Hand_Luke: There's a bridge behind it. Meet me there at ten. We'll meet, and if we hit it off, we'll ring in the New Year together. How does that sound?
Mommee_dearest: Like the best thing I've heard all day.
Cool_Hand_Luke: Do you have time?
Amy listened carefully to the house. Brad was in his room, she could hear his games screeching. Bryan was probably in his cave composing love songs for his girlfriend.
Mommee_dearest: Yes.
Cool_Hand_Luke: Do you know what I want to do to you?
Mommee_dearest: Tell me.
Cool_Hand_Luke: I want to see you in the distance, leaning on the bridge railing, looking over the creek, lost in thought. I'm going to walk up to you and lay a kiss on the back of your neck. Then I'll grip your waist, so you can't turn around.
Mommee_dearest: You don't want me to watch?
Cool_Hand_Luke: No. I just want you to feel me, as I kiss the backs of your legs, licking and sucking my way up to your sweet, wet pussy. Bec
ause you're not wearing panties, Dearest. Under your skirt, you're naked and ready for me. My fingers will tease your folds, opening them for my tongue as you bend over the railing, moaning with pleasure. I'll spread your ass-cheeks, to give myself better access to your hot, dripping pussy. I will tease your clit with my circling tongue, flicking it, nipping it with my teeth, until you shatter under my ministrations. Then I'm going to slip my cock inside your ready pussy. Slip it into the folds, Dearest. Sink into your heat, and pump in and out until I've had my fill. We'll cum together, Dearest. Would you like that?
Mommee_dearest: I think I would…
Cool_Hand_Luke: Good. Because I need you. I'll be there. I'll find you, and you'll know it's me. I won't be able to get online much this week, but please promise me you'll meet me there.
Mommee_dearest: I promise, Cool_Hand_Luke. I'll be there.
How could she not? With that to look forward to? Amy was dripping wet in her panties, but because everyone was home, she hadn't done anything besides get all kinds of worked up. She wondered if she could sneak into the bathroom with her bullet. She was just about to give it a shot when the bedroom door opened, and Bryan was standing there, face flushed, hair sticking up in all directions. He started walking towards her, but stopped.
"Is your hand feeling better?"
"Yes, thanks." She smoothed her hands down her pants awkwardly, wondering if he could tell how aroused she was.
"Amy, I'm sorry…For everything." He looked lost, and she felt a pang of something sharp inside. Was it regret? She didn't think so. Bryan approached. "I know I haven't been the best husband to you lately, and I'm sorry. Let me try to make it up to you. Please?"
"How?"
He grasped her face in his hands and kissed her tenderly. She couldn't remember when he had kissed her like this. It didn't matter. A gentle kiss, no matter how swoonworthy wouldn't undo years of making her feel taken advantage of. She pressed her lips together in an attempt to thwart his advances. His hands moved from her face, one to her hair and one to her waist, pulling her closer to him, as he tried to deepen the kiss. Amy could feel his tongue moving across her lips, urging them open. She reluctantly acquiesced, remembering the last time they had had sex and how he wouldn't even look at her. His tongue made its entrance and probed her mouth, its warmth sending an unwilling tremor through her body.
Without letting go, Bryan began leading her to the bed. Amy broke away with a gasp.
"What do you think you are doing?"
"I'm making love to you. The way you deserve, Amy."
"What about Brad?"
"He's down the hall, immersed in video games. He won't come up for air for hours." She remained stiff in his arms, unwilling to sink to the bed, to his wishes. "Please? Let me at least try…" The pleading look he sent her tugged at her heart strings, but she was still unwilling to bend.
"I'm really not sure it will work."
Bryan pushed her gently onto the bed, lowering himself on top of her. "Look. I know I've messed up, big time. But you have, too. Admit it, and let me at least try to make up for what I've done. Please…" His heated gaze on her was filled with desire, with longing, with love…with everything she'd wanted to see.
"Okay." At her word, he crushed his mouth to hers in a searing kiss, and she opened up to him. With a triumphant groan, Bryan began pulling at her clothes, slowly undressing her until she was naked beneath him. It was unlike anything they’d done recently. In fact, she couldn’t remember him undressing her since Ashley was a baby, and even then she’d hurried him along before the next feeding.
He kissed down her jaw to her breasts, then pulled away to look at her.
"You've been working out?" He questioned Amy, a simple question, but it spoke volumes. He knew. Somehow he knew she was talking to someone else. Maybe he thought she was having an affair like his, maybe it was his guilty mindset wanting to place his own guilt on somebody else's shoulders.
"Yes," she squeaked. The absence of his mouth on her skin left a void inside her.
"You look good." His voice was husky with emotion, and he lowered his mouth to her breasts. As he suckled first one, then the other, Amy felt a welling up of remorse inside her. She willed it to subside or else all would be lost. Her plan, her life, herself. So she shoved the emotions aside, and gave in to sensations.
His hot mouth on her breasts was replaced by his fingers tweaking her nipples, as he kissed lower on her abdomen, swirling his tongue in her navel. The shudder it sent through her was shocking, and she was panting by the time his tongue stroked the apex of her thighs. She jolted upwards and grabbed his hair, unwilling to let him stop the maddening torture.
One hand left a breast, and while the other continued flicking and twisting her nipple, the other hand traveled down between her legs, parting her slick folds. Bryan stuck in a finger, and Amy let out a choked moan in response, arching her back to feel more, yet unwilling to disturb the teenager down the hall. He stuck in another finger and curled them slightly, and Amy came completely undone, spasming around his fingers, as her hot wetness coated his face. He continued licking her until she clamped her legs around his head, unable to stand it anymore.
He chuckled, a soft, throaty sound that made Amy squirm for more, and he raised himself up on his elbows. She could see her juices glistening on his face. He bent, and kissed the inside of her thigh, before moving back up to her breasts, taking them again inside his mouth one at a time, gently suckling her desire back to the surface. After working her back up into another frenzy, Bryan pushed himself inside her, filling her slowly.
Bryan froze above her, looking into her eyes. She saw something there that scared the life out of her.
She wanted to cry.
Bryan's deep brown eyes were wide pools of emotion. It was as if this was the last time he would make love to her. As if he knew she was leaving him, or as if he were leaving her. She didn't know, but she could see it in his eyes. After this, it would all change. Forever.
He lowered his mouth to hers in a kiss that took her breath away and replaced it with the smell of herself. She could taste herself in his warm mouth, and the co-mingling of his saliva with her juices warmed her core. As he kissed her, Bryan began moving, and the pressure inside her built again.
He was careful as he made love to her, his movements slow and purposeful. His hands were everywhere, slowly caressing her, driving her to the brink of pleasure at a maddeningly slow pace. His kisses left her mouth and moved over to her ear, where his hot breath almost made her weep.
"Don't leave me, Amy." He mumbled, as she felt something wet on her neck. She opened her eyes to see him kissing her neck, tears streaming down his face. She clutched him to her, holding his strength, while he continued to move inside her. Her hips rose to meet his, as together, they climbed the mountain, and fell over into the abyss.
"Too late…" She whispered, before closing her eyes to him, squeezing a tear out of the corner.
Chapter 8:
The next week went by in a blur. Bryan was off from work, but managed to keep himself busy with chores around the house, avoiding Amy. She saw him only at meal times, which was fine, because she honestly didn't know what to think. After Christmas night's love making, he hadn't spoken more than ten words to her all week.
She had honestly thought that it had been a goodbye fuck, although it hadn’t seemed like it at all. It had been tender and sweet, like the way they’d made love when they were first married. But Bryan had withdrawn, and part of Amy felt angry about it, and part of her felt relieved. And then she’d get mad at herself for her fickle thoughts. As she watched his newly toned body, climbing ladders to take down decorations, she would catch herself admiring it, then her thoughts would wander to the woman he’d been seeing, wondering exactly what she’d seen. And fury took over. She’d given Bryan twenty years of her life. She born his children, cooked his meals, washed his clothes, kept his house clean for twenty years, and he cheated.
Then she would think of Coo
l_Hand_Luke, and their date. She was looking forward to it, to meeting him. But at the same time, she was terrified. Meeting Cool_Hand_Luke was the last step. Once she actually saw him in person, it would be over between her and Bryan, no matter what happened with Cool_Hand_Luke. Meeting him would be the point of no return.
Amy managed to hold herself together through a shopping trip with Ashley to spend her gift card. Amy felt the need to supervise and was glad she was there to veto some of the outfits her daughter picked out.
"You're so lame, Mom. Everybody wears this stuff."
"Yeah, and I used the same line on my mom once. I said, put it back."
Boy was that a fun trip.
New Year's eve, the family was at the dinner table when Amy brought up her plans.
"Me and Kathy are going to ring in the New Year girl's style at the Gin tonight. Do you mind watching the kids?" She looked at Bryan with as innocent an expression as she could manage.
He didn't even look at her. "No. I'll stay home." His voice was quiet.
"Thank you."
Later, when she was getting dressed in their bedroom, she thought about what exactly she was getting ready to do. She was ending it with Bryan, but she was starting something new. A new year, a new life. One just for herself, whether it included Cool_Hand_Luke or not. She realized that she felt a quiet exhilaration. It was an adventure, one that she was embarking on alone. She would not feel taken advantage of anymore. Amy would not feel betrayed. She was going to be in charge of her emotions now.
Bryan came in quietly. He shut the door behind him and slowly walked over to where Amy was putting on her make up at her dressing table.
"I know what you're doing, Amy."
She felt the blood drain from her face. "Oh?"
"I don't know what you're expecting, but know this…" He raked his hands through his hair and turned to her with wild eyes but his voice was quiet and held a desperation she had never heard before from him. "I love you. However tonight turns out, you'll come home to me. And we'll talk." Before he could respond, he turned on his heels and left the room.
