by Marta Felber
Mewsings
Reading can be done anytime, anywhere, in any position.
It can definitely be a calming and peaceful experience.
Sometimes, however, reading excludes others we care about.
Sometimes we ignore the feelings of those we love.
We should observe the actions of others and invite their feelings.
It is good when we find a both-win solution.
FINDING COMFORT
“This is Alice, the doll I made for my sister.” I’ve heard the story so many times, the story M tells her friends, that I could recite it myself. M’s sister was sixteen years older than M, and had not been well for a long time. M took a doll-making class and produced a porcelain doll for her sister to hold and keep her company. Together, they gave the doll their Grandmother’s name, Alice.
Alice came to live with M, when her sister died. Sometimes I would come into our bedroom and see M sitting on the couch, holding Alice. I knew she was thinking about her sister. She would comb Alice’s hair with her fingers, place her in the corner of the couch, straighten her dress, and leave the room.
One day I jumped on the couch and studied Alice. She looked real, but of course she could not move or talk. She did not even know I was there. I tiptoed onto her lap—not really big enough—but I managed to curl up anyway. I wiggled around until I was comfortable and, before I knew it, I was asleep.
I cannot count the times I have escaped to Alice’s lap. I retreat here when M is away, or when she is too busy to pay attention to me. Sometimes M has friends visiting. They get busy talking, and ignore me; I know I can come to Alice. She is always here, waiting for me. Rarely, but it does happen, I get upset at M. I won’t tattle on her, but you can probably imagine what might cause me to feel that way. I run to Alice, and she accepts me as I am, and holds me.
Today is one of those days I need her. I relax and go to sleep on her lap, feeling close to Alice, in body and spirit.
“Get up, you are hurting my legs!”
I jump up and race from the room, my mind also racing. Did Alice say what I thought she said?
Mewsings
We have special people in our lives.
They cannot always be with us.
We need to find acceptable substitutes.
We hold the substitutes close, and remember.
CHOOSING MY TOYS
“Ling, I bought you something at the grocery store!” Oh, no, I think. What now? The last time she brought something home, I never touched it. In fact, I will not go near it if I can help it. It is a stupid-looking, purple, misshapen, prickly ball with a face painted on it. When you poke it, it whistles and a voice comes out of the holes. I refuse to poke it, but M loves to, and laughs her head off. It says, “Here kitty, kitty. Here kitty, kitty. Have a good day. Have a good day.” Sometimes I hit it by mistake and feel like a fool. It is really M’s plaything, so why doesn’t she take it out of my basket and put it in her office? Then she could poke it all day and laugh.
I could tell M was in a hurry to show me what she has bought this time. She grabbed stuff out of the bags and put it away in the refrigerator and cupboards. “Here it is.” A huge brown mouse! I ran out of the kitchen and onto my safe perch on the porch. I never saw a mouse that big! My mother had told me about big mice called RATS. She said I should run if I ever saw one of those. Now I am glad for that advice. But aren’t mice and rats gray, not brown? I crept back into the kitchen. The rat was not on the floor. I could not find it anywhere.
That was a week ago. Every day, M has spent some time “introducing,” as she calls it, the rat to me. At first, I just poked it and tried to play with it. I lost interest because it was too big and heavy. I like my little mice better. I toss them around and thump them with my strong back feet. Today, M does something to the bottom of the rat, puts it on the floor, and it starts running all around! It is alive! M catches and holds me while we watch until it gets stuck on a rug and I am set down so she can catch it and make it stop running. “Enough for today,” she says. Every day we have “Rat Time,” as I call it.
It has taken a long time to get to today, the important day. Today I pounce on that rat, make it stop, let it go, stalk it, and then I catch it again. M claps her hands, picks it up, and kills it. I want to do it again and again. The Rat is definitely a keeper toy!
Mewsings
We have favorite toys that we enjoy.
We have the right to play with what we like.
It is wise to try new toys for a while before rejecting or accepting.
It is more fun to have a good friend to enjoy toys with us.
TAKING MY MEDICINE
At first, I did not understand what M meant when she said, “Come on, Ling, it’s time to take your medicine.” I soon learned. She would creep up on me, or thought she was creeping up on me. Of course, I saw her coming. And I saw the look in her eyes that said, “I don’t want to do this. You won’t like taking your pill. I don’t like giving it to you. But let’s get it over with.” It was easy for me to run and hide where she could not get me without dragging me out. I bet M did not drag her kids by their ears, so I felt safe.
She learned not to warn me. I never knew when she would find me in a relaxed position, grab my head, pull it back, pry open my mouth, and drop that pill down my throat. I would spit it out whenever I could, and that really exasperated M! Sometimes she had trouble finding it. She knew she could not slip up on me again for a long time because I would be ready and waiting. She must have reached the end of her rope the day she tried to hide the pill in a ball of cheese. Guess what I did? I nibbled off the cheese (not too bad!) and left the pill in the dish.
Human species learn slowly. But, finally, the wheels in her head turned and stopped on the purrfect (excuse the pun) solution. Why didn’t she think of it earlier? I absolutely love treats. Now she waits until my regular meal has worn off, and I am beginning to think of food again. Then she comes with the pill in one hand and the treat in a tiny dish in the other. She shows me both. How can I resist? M keeps the treat just out of my reach. She gently, but firmly, holds my head and turns it back. I help her by opening my mouth, holding still, and she drops the pill down into the back of my throat. I close my mouth, swallow, and here comes the treat. I earned it!
Mewsings
There are things in life we must do that we don’t like.
Hiding and fighting and ignoring don’t seem to help.
The promise of a treat does make the thing easier to do.
If others don’t come through,
we may have to treat ourselves.
WATCHING M GET READY
I see M glance at the object on her arm and shout, “Oh, my word, I’m late!”
She whizzes past me, almost knocking me down. This should be fun to watch. She starts stripping clothes off on the way to the bedroom, dropping them as she goes. I pick a pile and settle on it. There is a certain scent about M’s clothes. Don’t ask me to describe it because I can’t. All I know is that I like the smell.
She flies to the closet, grabs a dress off the rack, a bag with a strap off the shelf, and flings them on the bed. I jump up and rest my head on the bag while I watch the action. The bag is soft, like skin. M is splashing in the bathroom basin. No time for a shower,
I guess. She moves so fast I can’t keep up with her! On goes the dress. I think she chose one without anything to zip or fasten. What, no color on her face? No, she stops to make her lips red. Whoops! She grabs the bag from under my head and my head bounces on the bed. Out she dashes, and I have to run faster still to catch up with her. We race to the door that opens to the garage. She wins, for the first time. I catch my breath and get ready to jump up on the kitchen counter. That is always the first thing I do the moment she leaves.
Wait! Here she comes back, runs past me to the bedroom, races back in front of me again, with something dangling from her fingers.
“Forgot my keys! Good-bye, Ling.”
At last she
thinks of me. This time I wait until I hear the car start, back out, and the garage door close. Finally! I can look for people food she may have left on the counter in her hurry.
Mewsings
In a hurry, people often shift into fast forward gear.
It is important to stay out of the path of those in a hurry.
It is important not to ask questions or bother them in any way.
It is important to wait patiently until they are really gone.
Then, choose wisely what to do in their absence, in peace and quiet.
TAKING CARE OF M
She does it again! Just when I thought I had cured her of leaving me alone, she leaves. I had let down my guard and was not staying with her all the time. Looking back now, I should have known something different was going on this morning. M left her night pillows at the head of the bed, turned back the sheet and blanket, and mumbled something to me.
Later, when she does not come home, I wish I had listened more carefully. Since the bed is open, I’ll sleep in it tonight. But it is not the same without M. It takes me forever to get to sleep. I keep thinking about that long, long time when she did not come home.
I hear the morning-feed-me-friend turn her key in the front door. I am there before she knows what is happening. I do a no-no on the front door rug, where I have never done it before. It is my way of saying I want M home, now! I run all over the place and will not let myself be taken in by the advances of my former feeding friend. I am glad when she leaves so I can sulk in silence.
By midday, I am trying, in vain, to reconcile myself to my lonely state. The garage door squeaks, opens, and in walks M! Walking is not exactly what she is doing—it is more like shuffling. She talks to me, but does not stoop to pet me. M’s friend is helping her walk, as if M were an old woman. M goes straight to bed. I remember how she left off the bedspread the morning before. I realize that M is not feeling well at all. As soon as the friend goes out the door, I take over her care.
Very quietly, I jump up on my side of the bed. I lie on the empty pillow where I can watch M sleep. I try to stay awake, but I may have dozed a little. When M opens her eyes, I move closer, and she pats me on the head.
For a couple of days, I keep a close watch over M. Whenever she gets up, I go with her and stay by her side to make sure she does not fall. I am very quiet so she can rest, and I do not pester her with my “Eat! Eat!” She has music coming out of the box most of the time, and she reads sitting up in bed. Friends come and, while they are there, I catch up on bird and squirrel watching. Days come and go, much the same, except now, M is on her feet most of the time.
I am happy to report that M is back to her old, bouncing self, and so am I. M must give most of the credit for her recovery to my tender loving care.
Mewsings
It is wise not to jump to conclusions.
Events may not be exactly as we think they are.
It is wise to be sensitive to the needs of a loved one.
Out of our sensitivity, we can be more caring.
We can rejoice and take some credit when things turn out well.
LOOKING THROUGH THE WINDOWS
I’m not allowed to go outside my home, except in a carrier when we visit the vet. M tells everyone the reason is that, with no claws, I could not defend myself. I am sure I could, but I never get beyond the doors and windows to prove my point.
For me, windows are more than windows. They are the extension of my world. My favorite windows are the ones on the porch. They go all the way to the floor, my level of operation. There is always something to look at through these windows. Birds fly high or eat their meals at the feeder. Sometimes they fight with each other. Are these family members who can’t get along with each other, or couples having a spat? I don’t like it when they crash into the window and fall to the ground. It sounds like a piece of the sky is falling. I look to see if they lie there for a while. If I were out there, I would pounce! Usually, they get up in a hurry and fly away. They know I would capture them, and they are afraid of me.
But squirrels don’t fly, and I surely could catch one of them. They run in circles around the bird feeder or they scamper across the yard. They love to tease me by coming up the steps, peering in the window, right in my face. I bare and chomp my teeth. Usually, they pay no attention. Little do they know what I could do to them, if there were no glass between us. But sometimes, when I gnash my teeth, they scamper away and dash up a tree—really afraid of me! I rule the animal world from my throne on the porch!
There are quiet times when the birds and squirrels are resting in their homes, and even the wind holds its breath. That is when I check out what is new in my beautiful world. The daffodils must have grown an inch since yesterday. What is the name of those tiny little flowers that are as close to the ground as I would be? They are just born. Do they have a scent, and would I like it?
Here comes the sun! It’s about time. I wonder where it has been. I’ll jump up on M’s favorite couch, curl up where she likes to sit, and slip into my midmorning nap. You can take over my watch from the porch, through the windows.
Mewsings
We can learn to live with our restrictions.
We need not use them as excuses for not doing what we can.
We learn a lot about other creatures just by watching.
We learn a lot about the world by looking and appreciating.
Afterwards, we nap and dream about what we have seen.
TRAINING M
I’ve lived with M for what seems like a long time. The whole period has been one of training her to fulfill my needs and wishes. M used to make me wait for my food in the mornings until she had made the bed, put on clothes for the day, combed her hair, and brought in the paper. Now, she postpones some of her routine and heads for the kitchen when I say my word for eat that sounds like her word for eat. I really appreciate her more direct route to my empty food bowl.
I eat just enough to give me energy to start my day. Next I drink from the water fountain that I presume I influenced her to buy for me. I have her trained to say, “Good boy, Ling,” when I head for my first bathroom break of the day. When I stand up tall and put my paws on either side of the knob, she unlocks and opens the door to the porch. Good girl, M. I begin to monitor the bird and squirrel activity outside.
Later, when I start to give myself my all-over morning bath, I remember I have not been brushed. I’ll get fur in my mouth. Ugh! Where is M when I need her? She’s in the office, naturally. Wait. Here she comes with her breakfast tray with empty dishes. I jump on the counter space that belongs to me, and I make my sound for brush. It has taken weeks for her to understand that simple word. But now she knows exactly what I want and gets the brush from the basket. I guess she doesn’t have me completely trained because sometimes I am not turned the way she wants me and she turns me around. Then the strokes begin, from top to toe. M has learned to do it just right. When I reach around and bite the brush, she knows that I have had enough. M is free to go. I relax in the warm satisfaction that I now have M fully trained.
Mewsings
Significant others in our lives want to fulfill our needs.
It is important to let them know what those needs are.
It is important to show our appreciation.
Sometimes we neglect to discover
what those we love want us to do for them.
GLIMPSING THE GHOST CAT
There is another cat living in our house! I am sure. I see him, here and there. I hesitate to mention it to you, or to anyone else for that matter, for fear you may think I am, well, you-know-what.
The first time I saw him was in M’s bathroom. He was looking out at me from the closed closet door. I reached up to turn the doorknob. I am tall when I stretch to my full height, but I could not turn the knob. M opened the door for me, and I rushed to check out the closet, floor level, and shelf by shelf. What a mess! I guarantee you there was no cat in there. There was no room for a cat, not even me. Drat! I
missed him. He must have darted past me when I was going in. Or maybe M scared him away.
Today, I see him again, at exactly the same place. I jump to turn the doorknob, and he is gone—where, I do not know. I don’t think he went inside. Remember? I checked that closet from bottom to top. I will stay away from that place, whenever I remember. But I forget. As I am flying past the door, I see him flying past the door too. I continue to fly and never look back, not even once.
Something about the bathroom draws me back. I want to explore where M washes her face and brushes her teeth. I don’t have a special place where I wash my face, but maybe I should be brushing my teeth. Up I go. Standing in front of me is The Cat! I jump down, just as M comes into the room. How dare he be where I am not allowed to be?
How dare he invade my privacy, or face me so boldly? I will gather my courage to face him in combat. Just let him show himself one more time!
Mewsings
Ghosts, illusions, it does not matter the name. They are there.
When they are in the past, we recognize them for what they are.
