It’s hard to see Logan like this. It breaks my heart to see him hurting; and for something that he can’t change. I hear the shower shut off as I’m taking the sandwich out of the frying pan. He comes downstairs and looks a little better. I walk over and just wrap him in a hug. He picks me up and goes over to one of the kitchen chairs and sits down with me in his lap. “There was nothing either James or I could do other than direct traffic. There were power lines down all over so we couldn’t even get close to the fire truck until the power company got there. We could see enough to tell that even if we could have gotten to him it wouldn’t have mattered. Days like this make me question my career choice. I know I was meant to be in law enforcement, but days like today make it especially hard to deal with.”
There is nothing that I can say to make this any better so I just sit there and snuggle in him, just letting him know that I am there for him. “I talked to Marie while you were in the shower; we are going to start a fundraiser for the family. Just something to show that his sacrifice will not be forgotten.”
“I’m sure that will be appreciated.” I give him a kiss and get up to wash the frying pan. “This sandwich is pretty good, I’ll make a cook out of you yet.”
At least that gets a small smile out of him. He looks exhausted, so I suggest we head upstairs for the night. We get upstairs and I lead him into my bedroom. Tonight is not the night to deny him the comfort of my arms. I lead him over to the bed and tell him to get in. I change into my sleepwear and crawl in beside him. He immediately reaches for me and pulls me close. I can feel him start to relax against me. Hopefully he’ll be able to sleep.
The death of this fireman brings back all the misgivings I had when James announced he was going to Indianapolis to be a police officer. For six months I was expecting to get that phone call everyone dreads, the one where they tell you that he was killed doing his job. I didn’t worry as much after he met Marie, he seemed to figure out that he didn’t have to take as many chances to be good at his job.
I can tell that Logan asleep so it doesn’t surprise me when he asks, “So, Darlin’, did you find anything in your research today?”
“Actually, the former cult member that I tracked down called me today. She will be coming near here tomorrow on her way to Michigan. I asked if she would stop here so we could talk about Reverend Jake. She agreed to take an extra day to stay and talk with us tomorrow afternoon. I hope you and James will be able to be there. I’m hoping to learn something that will help us stop him.”
“That’s great news, Darlin’. At least something good happened today. I’m sure glad days like today don’t happen too often. I don’t know that I could handle it.”
“Well, Dudley, just relax and try to sleep. You look like you need it. Try to think about something else, like our date on Saturday. I am looking forward to introducing you to Komet hockey. You’ll love it. We have some really diehard fans who paint their faces. It’s just a lot of fun, even when they lose.”
Logan pulls me in closer and I snuggle into him, relishing the feel of such strong arms holding me tight. Six months ago I thought I would never feel anything like this again. I hope I can get past all my hang-ups about a long-term relationship; Logan deserves someone who can commit to him. I sure hope that is me. I snuggle into his arms and fall asleep thinking about a future with him in it.
Chapter 35
The dream starts out the same. I am being chased by someone or something I cannot see, but I know they are there. The location has changed. I am now being chased through my Gram’s house instead of through Matt’s apartment in New York. I am running, trying to get away, trying to find a place to hide. I duck behind the bed, willing my heart to stop beating so loud, it sounds loud enough to me that whoever is chasing me is sure to hear. I catch my breath and listen, trying to gauge where he is in the house. Do I make a run for it? Do I try to find a better hiding place? Suddenly, my bedroom door opens violently, coming off the hinges. He is at the door, looking for me. He comes around the end of the bed, I can see the glowing green eyes, God, those eyes! He steps closer to me and I can begin to make out features… this isn’t right, it’s not the same, this time it’s someone else that I love.
“Time to die, Cassie. You are the bringer of death!” I can’t move, I’m frozen in place. It can’t be, but it is. It’s Logan but it’s not Logan. Those aren’t Logan’s eyes, his eyes aren’t that electric green. This can’t be happening. I start to scream, screaming, and screaming as I see the knife, that huge knife, that I know is meant for me. Logan/not Logan moves closer, brandishing the knife, and suddenly, I can feel the knife slide in as I scream…
…and scream! “Cassie, wake up, Darlin’! Come on, Cassie, come back to me!”
“No, no, no, no, no,” I yell as I try to move away from him, the one with the knife, who is killing me… Logan is pleading with me to wake up, he grabs my arms but I am still in the nightmare and I struggle against him, he pulls me closer to him and holds me close, murmuring to me, “Come on, Darlin’, I’m here, it’s me Logan. Wake up, Cassie, come on Darlin’ you’re scaring me now,” as he strokes my hair, trying to get through the nightmare to me. I gradually come back from the nightmare, my screams tapering off, ending in sobs. I finally stop screaming, but I’m trembling, and looking around like I’m lost.
“There you are Darlin’. That must have been some nightmare. I’ve got you, it’s OK, I’m here, Logan’s here.” And he just holds me tight, willing the nightmare away, willing me back to him.
I finally get the crying under control, trying to forget the image of Logan with those ‘not Logan’ eyes, coming at me with a knife, stabbing me…
I look up at him, the one who has my heart. “Thank God! I couldn’t get you to wake up, Darlin’. You were screaming about a knife, about being stabbed.” He pulls me closer, shushing me like a child, willing my nightmare away. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“It was awful! It’s a variation of the nightmare I have had since I was small. They seem to be getting worse. It must be the stress of Matt being free and the worry about the Reverend. It was so much worse this time. For the last six months it has always been Matt chasing me through his apartment in New York, and lately through this house, the Matt with the glowing eyes. The last few have ended with him brandishing the knife at me and stabbing me. But this time it changed, I was being chased through this house, by someone else I love. I could see the glowing green eyes but not who it was at first, but they moved closer to me.” I sob, not sure that I can go on, not sure that I can tell him that he was the one killing me this time.
“Shhh, Darlin’, take your time. Tell me, who was chasing you this time?”
“I can’t!” I cry, “I can’t tell you!” I move away from him, as if I’m trying to get some distance between myself and the nightmare. “I’m afraid it’s a premonition, I started dreaming about Matt chasing me four days before he attacked me. I can’t face it. I’ve got to get out of this room,” and I practically run down the stairs and into the kitchen.
“Oh hell, this isn’t good,” Logan mutters to himself, sensing that mere words are not going to cut it. He pulls on a shirt and follows me down the stairs. He finds me in the kitchen, filling the teakettle. “Have you ever told anyone else about these nightmares, Darlin’?”
“Sure, I have. I was seeing a therapist in New York after what happened with Matt. They were bad then but they have been getting worse. Since I’ve been back here, they have escalated. Instead of ending with Matt brandishing the knife, the last few I’ve had have ended with him actually stabbing me. I can feel the knife go in, and then the pain, I scream and wake up. But this time, it’s worse.” I turn away and fiddle with the teabag I have placed in my mug. “It’s so much worse,” I continue, “I don’t know if I can even say it out loud.”
“You can tell me, Darlin’. Let me help you work through this. Holding it in is only going to make it worse, it will keep building until you explode.”
�
�God, how can I tell you,” I whisper to myself, “how can I tell you that you were the one with the glowing green eyes and the knife, the one who stabs me?”
I turn around and he is there, right beside me. He is looking at me with such concern in his eyes. Shit, he heard me!
“No wonder you didn’t want to tell me,” he says, “no wonder you were trying to get away from me. Come here, Darlin’,” he implores me. “I can’t fix it, but I can prove to you that it could never be me. I could never hurt you. You have become my life, my whole world in such a short time. I keep thinking I’m going to wake up and you will be gone. That it was all a dream.” And he holds his arms out towards me.
I move closer to him, allowing him to draw me in. God, how can I feel so safe wrapped in his arms after the nightmare I just had? I just know he would never hurt me. I never felt this with Matt, this certainty of how he feels.
The teakettle whistles and startles us both. It was a rough day and it’s been a rough night. “Do you want some tea?” I ask, “Its chamomile, supposed to be calming, and man do I need some calm right now.”
“No thanks, Darlin’,” he says and moves to get a glass out of the cupboard. “I think I’ll just have a glass of water and sit with you if that’s OK.”
We move out to the living room, settling in on the couch. I fit perfectly under his arm, and I feel so protected. But I can’t get the picture of him coming at me with a knife out of my head.
We sit there in the dark, enjoying the quiet. Hard to believe it was only about two hours ago that we went to bed; feels like it’s been days. I sure hope that the dream is not a premonition, like it seemed to be before the incident with Matt. I don’t think I would be sane if that happened.
Chapter 36
I wake up to the sun in my eyes with Logan’s arm draped over me and Princess licking my hand. I wriggle to try and get out from under Logan’s arm without him waking up. “Darlin’, if you don’t quit wriggling like that, I’m going to have to take you on this couch again!”
I roll over instead, and look into Logan’s eyes; maybe I’m subconsciously looking to see if they’re glowing green. Nope, no green, just his normal piercing blue. I see his desire for me and all the caring and love. How did I get so lucky? I roll on top of him and start to kiss him passionately, rubbing up against him, running my hands up and down his chest, paying particular attention to his nipples, loving the way they become hard little pebbles with the slightest touch. I sit up and take off my shirt, throwing it on the floor, loving how his eyes start to burn with desire for me, I feel so powerful! His hands come up and start to knead my breasts ever so gently, rolling the nipples between his fingers, they become hard and I swear I can feel the blood coursing through them, coursing through my whole body, just for him. I moan when his hand goes down and cups me, gently rubbing me through my underwear. I can feel myself growing wet, ready for him in seconds, rubbing myself against his hand. “Now, Logan. I need you inside me now.” I can feel him against my sex, straining against his sleep pants, searching for the place it is meant for, probing to find it. The sleep pants go the way of the shirt and my boxers are next, and we are gloriously naked, rubbing each other everywhere, bringing each other to the peak and backing off. His mouth leaves mine and finds my breast, nipping at the nipple, sending sparks shooting through me causing me to buck involuntarily. He is the only one who has ever been able to do this to me like this, this quickly, this intensely! He laughs at my reaction, until my hand finds him, his throbbing rod that is just for me. “You keep doing that, Darlin’, and this will be over way to quick, give me a break woman!”
I laugh, relishing the power I have over him, the ability I have to bring him to this hard fullness, this hardness that is just for me! His hand is rubbing me, causing me to moan, to ask for it, to plead for it, and suddenly I am over the peak, sliding down into ecstasy. He continues to rub, his finger finding my nub, and I am suddenly climbing the peak again, even faster, even harder! “Please, now,” I plead, “oh God, please!”
He grants my request and plunges into me. I ride him like a wild stallion, relishing the feelings he generates in me, this love I have for him. I’ve never felt this before, this all- consuming love and need. We go faster and faster, bringing each other to the peak, and finally finding release, almost simultaneously. So in tune with each other in this, this wonderful feeling!
We are trying to catch our breath, still joined, not wanting to move, to break this contact. We are both relishing this closeness before we have to break apart to begin the day.
“I don’t want to move. Can I stay here forever?” I ask.
“I wish we could, Darlin’, but we need to face the day. Maybe when everything calms down we can get away alone together.”
“I wish we could go now, somewhere no one could find us.”
There is pounding on the door, “Hey Reggie, you up?” James yells.
“Hang on James, I’ll be there in just a minute!” I reply. I look at Logan and laugh, we still haven’t managed to make it to a bed.
I pull on my shirt and boxers, and head over to the door. When I open the door, James looks at me. “Again? What are you two, rabbits? Never mind, I don’t think I want to know, makes me want to punch Logan in the face.”
“We can’t have that. At least you learned your lesson and knocked this time,” I laugh, ”Good thing you weren’t here ten minutes earlier, you would have gotten an earful!”
James blushes, “Stop it, Reg, feels like my best friend is banging my sister! I’d rather pretend it isn’t happening.”
“Oh, alright, you are just no fun.” I joke. “Come sit down while I make some coffee. What brings you over so early in the morning?”
“Early? It’s almost 8:30! I just wanted to check in on you. Have you found anything on the cult online?”
“Actually, I found a former cult member who is willing to talk to us. She will be coming this way on her way to Michigan and has agreed to stop for the night and let us pick her brain. Her name is Janet and she lives in Indianapolis.”
“That’s great! Maybe now we can make some progress.”
“She should be here about 4 pm, I hope you both can be here. I made her a reservation at the bed and breakfast so she doesn’t have to drive to Fort Wayne, that way we don’t have to watch the time.”
“Sounds like a plan. I will try to make it. Now, is that coffee done yet?”
Logan comes down the stairs, dressed and ready to go to work. He looks so handsome in his uniform, I hate for him to go. He fills his to-go mug with coffee. “You ready to hit the road, James?”
“Let’s get this day started. I want to get all my paperwork done so we can both be here when this cult member arrives. I hope she can fill in some blanks for us. See you later Reg. Be careful, remember our deal is still in effect, you have to check in every hour.”
“I haven’t forgotten. Now get out of here so I can get ready to go to the bookstore.” Logan walks over to me gives me a goodbye kiss that seems to last for hours. I blush and run up the stairs and into the bathroom. Logan laughs, and this even gets a chuckle out of James. They finally leave and I get in the shower.
Later that day, I am at the bookstore shelving the shipment we received yesterday on the new shelves that Dan built. I step back and take a look. Wow, they look pretty good, Dan did an excellent job. The bell over the door rings, letting me know someone has come in.
I turn around and see a stranger, that doesn’t happen to often in our little town. “Hi there, how can I help you today?” I ask.
She looks like someone’s mother, dressed in jeans and an oxford cloth shirt. “I’m looking for Cassie Holt. I understand this is her bookstore.” She smiles as she looks around, as if she approves.
“You found her. You must be Janet,” I stick out my hand and we shake, “I’m pleased to meet you. I really appreciate you stopping here to talk with us about Reverend Jake and his cult.” I grab my cell phone off of the counter. “I need to call Ja
mes and Logan and let them know you’ve arrived.” I motion over towards the seating area, “Please have a seat. Would you like a soda? I’ve got some in the back.”
“Sure, a cola would be nice.” She notices Princess sitting and waiting to be introduced, “Is that a Mastiff?”
“Yes, this is Princess. Come here Princess and meet Janet.”
Princess comes over and puts her head in Janet’s lap. Janet strokes her ears. Princess seems to trust her so I head to the office to get that soda. I dial my phone and listen to it ring. James picks up, “Fairfield Corners Sheriff’s Office. How can I help you?”
“Hey James, Janet is here. Can you and Logan get away right now? If not, I can handle this on my own.”
“We’re just finishing up. We’ll be there in 10 minutes.”
“Great, see you in a few.”
I go back out to the front of the store to give Janet the soda and find Princess sleeping on Janet’s feet. “I’m sorry about that, she seems to have taken a real liking to you. Come on Princess, get in your bed.”
“Oh, let her be. She’s sweet and very well behaved. Is she yours?”
“No, but I am looking to get a mastiff puppy soon. She belongs to Logan. James and Logan should be here in a few minutes, the Sheriff’s office is only a few blocks away.” I walk over to the door and turn the sign to ‘closed’. “I really thank you for agreeing to talk to us…”
The door opens and James and Logan walk in. Logan turns and locks the door as James walks over and introduces himself and Logan. They both look very intense and watchful.
“Beautiful dog Deputy, did you train her yourself? She is very well behaved.”
This seems to put him at ease. “Thank you, and yes, I did. I have some experience training police dogs.”
“So, my big question is why am I here? What can I tell you about Reverend Jake and his cult?”
Saving Cassie (Fairfield Corners) Page 12
