“Now, Darlin’, it’s nothing to be worried about, just a bruise.”
“Don’t you Darlin’ me. Let me see your back!”
“I suppose I’m not getting any until I let you look, so OK.” And he rolls over, giving me a good view of his back.
“My God, Logan,” I say as I gently run my fingers over the bruise on his back, the bruise shaped exactly like a hockey puck, “you need an x-ray. You might have a cracked rib.”
“No, I don’t think so. I’ve cracked a rib before and it hurts much worse than this,” he replies with a grin.
“I still think you should go get this checked out. I can’t believe what we did last night, it had to aggravate it, make it hurt even more!”
“Darlin’, by the time we got back to the house I could have had twelve cracked ribs and not felt it. I was so hot for you, nothing was going to stop me.”
“But Logan,” I begin, “you could have been seriously hurt. Why did you take that puck for me?”
“Don’t you know, Darlin’? I would do anything to keep you safe, I would die for you. Seriously, I love you, Cassie.”
“Wow, where did that come from? I’ve only known you for a few weeks, not nearly long enough for you to love me. Up until a couple of weeks ago you could barely tolerate being in the same room with me.”
“You’d be surprised, Darlin’. I’ve been fighting these feelings for you for a while now. I didn’t want to admit it, not even to myself. But, when I saw that puck headed for you, I couldn’t let it hit you. I realized just how deep my love was for you.”
“I thought you despised me, you acted like you couldn’t stand to be around me. No one else was more surprised than me when you asked me out.”
“I asked you out because I thought I could get you out of my system. The last time I felt anything close to this for someone it didn’t end well. I was sure that you were going to be just like her, playing men off each other like toys. I thought you were in love with James, especially after the second time I met you, you were sitting on his lap kissing him.”
“That was just me picking on James. I’m sure you’ve seen him blush when Marie kisses him in public, I just can’t resist teasing him. Just to be clear, kissing him is like kissing my brother, no romantic feelings there at all. We did try the boyfriend-girlfriend thing in high school. The first time I kissed him I burst out laughing!”
“Glad to hear it, I sure wouldn’t want to lose my job over a woman again.”
“Again?”
“I was dating the Commander’s daughter in Atlanta. Turns out she was also ‘dating’ three other cops, playing us off each other.”
“What a bitch. I hope you threw her out on her ear.”
“I threatened to tell her father. She laughed at me, dared me to do it. Turns out, one of the other guys beat me to it. About two weeks later I was fired for having drugs in my locker. Now, you should know me well enough to know that I would never do drugs.”
“That must have really hurt. I know how much you love being a deputy.”
“It took me five years to get another job in law enforcement. Luckily, James believed my side of the story. Two months later I found you in James’ lap, but I just couldn’t stay away from you. Didn’t help that I had to be here 24/7 to protect you from what turns out to be a demon obsessed with killing you.”
“What a story, I can’t believe she would do that to you. She better not show her face around here, I’ll rip it off.”
“What a little wildcat! Sure hope I don’t get on your bad side.”
“You better not Dudley. I sure would hate to have to hurt you.” I kiss him lightly and get out of bed. “Now, about your back, I want you to at least go and get it checked out.”
“Sorry, Darlin’, but I can’t today. Today is the fireman’s funeral in Fort Wayne at 11 am. I need to get going, my dress uniform is at my apartment.”
“At least stay for breakfast. I’m sure the funeral will take a while and you won’t have time for lunch. Can’t have you passing out from lack of food, I won’t be there to catch you.”
“Are you sure about this? I can stay here with you today. I hate that both James and I will be gone for most of the day.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll keep Princess with me and I promise to have my gun handy. Don’t know how much good it will do against a demon, but I’ll keep it close.”
“If anything happens, you call me and James. I mean it Cassie!”
“OK, OK. I’ll call if anything happens. Now sit down and have some breakfast.”
Chapter 40
With Logan and James both gone, I finally have some time to myself. I want to do some more research on Reverend Jake now that I know his real name. I grab my laptop and head for the porch. I have to go back and get my gun, belatedly remembering my promise to Logan. Princess lies down beside my chair and I work for about an hour before my computer shuts down. Well, crap, I must have forgotten to plug it in yesterday. I get up and go upstairs and get the power cord.
When I come back downstairs, someone is sitting in my chair, petting Princess. He looks up and smiles at me, “Hey Cass, how are you?”
My heart starts racing and I have to remind myself to breathe. That night of terror flashes in front of my eyes and I grab the porch railing to keep from falling to the floor. He doesn’t look like a monster in the light of day, he looks like the man I fell in love with before the drugs and the alcohol changed him.
“Um, hi Matt. What are you doing here?” He’s wearing a jeans and a flannel shirt unbuttoned over a white t-shirt. Thank God he’s not wearing that leather jacket. “I have to warn you, James knows what happened and he is really angry with you,” I say, trying not to let him see how terrified I am.
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about Cassie, what happened between us.”
“There is nothing to talk about,” I say, as I am trying to keep my emotions under control. This is the Matt I remember, before the undercover work and the drugs and alcohol. “You killed what we had and you put me in the hospital!” I yell as I walk backwards towards the door, still not willing to tell him about the baby, about how he killed our baby.
“I swear Cass, that wasn’t me. I don’t remember it, I can’t believe that I did that. I love you Cass, why would I do that to you?”
“You weren’t yourself, you weren’t the man I was in love with. The drugs and the alcohol took you away from me and left me with someone who beat me,” I sob, “you took so much away from me!”
“What did I take away from you?” he asks.
“Other than my peace of mind? How about the fact that I was pregnant when you beat me. We were supposed to be a family but you killed it!” I sob harder, “I can’t forgive you for that. I can never have that now.” I wrap my arms around myself, trying to hold in the hurt and the anger.
“My God, Cassie, I had no idea you were pregnant. What do you mean, you can never have that now?”
“I mean, that when I lost the baby it did permanent damage. Chances are that I will never become pregnant again. If I did, I probably couldn’t carry it to term anyway.”
Matt looks at me with sorrow in his eyes, “I don’t remember anything about that night. I remember having a killer headache that morning and then waking up in jail. It felt like someone was taking over my life, that someone else was in control. The headaches started about two weeks before that night, getting worse each day. I would do things, thinking the whole while that that was something I would never do. It felt like someone else was controlling me. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t recognize the face looking back at me, especially the eyes. The eyes were green and filled with hatred, not my eyes at all.”
This brings my attention back to the present. “I thought I made that up, the green eyes. I thought I made that up to try and tell myself it was someone else, that it wasn’t you who was hurting me.” I walk back out onto the porch, sitting in the other chair, still on my guard. “I didn’t want to believe that you cou
ld do that, sober or not.”
“I swear Cassie, it wasn’t me.” He reaches over the table and tries to take my hand. I pull my hand back, not wanting him to touch me. “Someone else was in control. I think that’s why I was drinking so much, I couldn’t face what was happening. I am so sorry Cassie. What can I do to make things right between us?”
I get up and start pacing, “I don’t know that that is possible. Too much has happened, even if it wasn’t you. It felt like you and I don’t know if I can get beyond that.” I stop and turn to look at him. “I think I know what was controlling you, though I don’t think you will believe it.”
“What are you talking about? And why do you have a gun sitting out here in plain sight? What are you afraid of?”
The screen door starts slamming on its own, swinging open and slamming shut. Gram must be trying to make a point. I explain to Matt about Gram, about how she is communicating with us. He looks at me like I am out of my mind. Suddenly, my computer comes back on. I look at the screen and see this: “Drinks!”
“I think Gram is trying to tell me I’ve forgotten my manners. How about some iced tea? I made some yesterday. Do you still drink it sweet?”
“That sounds good.” He stands up and starts to move towards me, “Need some help?”
I take a step back, still not comfortable with this whole situation. I wish Logan or James was here. “Nope, I’ve got it.” I start towards the door, “Please stay out here and I’ll get it.”
He sits back down, looking sorrowful. “I’m sorry you don’t feel comfortable around me. I’ll stay out here, I promise.”
I get up and go into the house, locking the door behind me. When I get to the kitchen, I lean up against the wall. I can’t believe Matt is here and that I believe him when he says it was someone else controlling him.
I am carrying our drinks out to the porch when I hear yelling. I get the door unlocked and open, dropping the glasses when I see what is happening. Logan is hitting Matt, beating him. “Logan, no!”
He looks over at me, with fury in his eyes. “How can you say that after what he did to you?” and he hits Matt again. James pulls up and gets out of his cruiser, heading up the porch steps.
I see the look on his face and I step in front of him. “Don’t you dare James!” and I walk over to Logan, putting my hand on his arm. “Please stop, Logan. Hear what he has to say.”
“I don’t know if I can do that, Darlin’. I want to put him in the ground for what he did to you.”
“I don’t think he was in control that night. I think it was the demon. Can we talk about this before you beat him to a pulp?” I look up and see James looking at Matt with a murderous glint in his eye. “James, hear him out. Please, for me.”
“Are you sure, Cassie? Logan and I could take care of him and no one would ever know.”
“Yes, I’m sure. You will not do anything else to Matt. We are going to talk, and you are going to behave yourselves, both of you. Now let’s go sit in the living room and discuss this like adults. Matt, let me get you some ice for that eye.” I stop and pick up the glasses, thankful that I had used the plastic so nothing was broken. I follow Matt into the house, whispering to him, pleading with him to not say anything about the baby; that would probably send them both over the edge. He nods slightly to let me know he heard me.
I go out to the kitchen and start some coffee, I think we are all going to need it. I put some ice in a towel and head out to the living room. Matt is sitting in the chair and James is on the couch. Logan is pacing like a wild tiger, his hands twitching. I can tell he wants to get his hands on Matt again.
I take the chair farthest away from Matt, “OK, let’s start at the beginning.” I recount the entire story, beginning with my parents joining the cult and going all the way to what has happened recently. Matt stops me frequently, asking questions. He is a detective, so maybe he can help us make some sense of this. I also tell James and Logan what Matt and I had discussed before they arrived without mentioning anything about the baby.
When I finish, Matt just looks at me. I can see he is trying to make sense of everything I just told him. “A demon possessed me to try and kill you? Is that what you are telling me?”
“As crazy as that sounds, yes.”
Chapter 41
After everything that happened yesterday I told Logan that I wanted to sleep by myself. Seeing Matt brought back the feelings of inadequacy. Logan deserves someone who can give him children. I get ready for church and head downstairs. I sure hope Logan slept in this morning, I don’t know if I can face him.
“Morning, Darlin’. Ready for church?”
Crap. “Yeah, I figured I could use all the help I can get.”
“Well then, let’s go.”
Two hours later, we are headed for James and Marie’s for a cookout. The weather is holding but it won’t for much longer. We park Logan’s Jeep at my house and walk next door, enjoying the weather. Logan holds my hand, rubbing his thumb against my palm. God, how I dread the talk I will have to have with him.
We go to the backyard, where James is lighting the grill. “I’m going to see if Marie needs any help,” I say as I head in the back door. Marie is busy in the kitchen, pulling things out of the fridge.
“Hey Marie. What can I help with?”
“How about cutting these up for the salad?” she asks, handing me what looks like an entire garden.
“Sure thing,” I say as I get the cutting board out of the cupboard. I set it on the counter next to the sink. When I look up, I see Logan pushing Olivia on her tire swing. It makes my heart hurt to see this, to know that I can never give him a family. I turn and put the cutting board on the table and sit down to slice and dice.
“What’s wrong Cassie? Why the long face?”
“Just thinking about everything that has been happening.” I rub my temples lightly, trying to get rid of the slight headache I have. “Did James fill you in on Matt’s visit yesterday?”
“Oh yeah, and was he pissed! He feels like things are spiraling out of control and he can’t do anything about it. You know how he likes to control everything. This whole situation is driving him crazy. How are you feeling about what happened yesterday?”
I almost tell Marie about the decision I’ve made, about everything, but I can’t. I don’t want to see the pity in her eyes. “I hope Matt can help us figure it out. I still don’t feel comfortable around him. I know it wasn’t him, but it’s just hard to forget. I don’t think James has forgiven him either. He’s only tolerating him because I begged him to. And Logan still looks at him with murder in his eye. I hope we get this figured out soon. I don’t know how long I can keep them away from him. Part of me wants to let them do what they want to him.”
“Well, let’s not think about that today. The weather is beautiful and we are together, let’s enjoy it.”
I finish the salad and carry it to the backyard. James is standing at the grill, flipping the burgers and Logan is carrying Olivia around on his back. He winces when she manages to kick him where he is bruised from the hockey puck, but he is laughing and having a great time otherwise.
We just sit down to eat when James’ radio crackles, “Sheriff, you there?” we hear, “Come in, sheriff.”
James grabs his radio and presses the talk button, “What’s up Maureen?”
“We have a domestic battery call at Dan and Mel’s. The neighbors called it in, says it sounds like he’s killing her.”
We all glance at each other, worried, as James responds, “Logan and I are on our way.”
“Sorry ladies, duty calls.” James kisses Marie and Logan walks over to me, not sure if I’ll let him do the same to me. I kiss him on the cheek and he seems to accept that.
“Be safe, both of you.” I say, as always, worried when it’s a domestic call.
Marie and I sit down with Olivia to eat. We are used to James being called away when it’s time for a meal.
A couple of hours later they return, both l
ooking grim.
“What’s wrong,” I ask, with my heart sinking in my chest. “Is Mel Ok?”
James replies, “Yes, she’s fine. I’ll go get Marie, I only want to tell this once. I still can’t believe it.”
I grab Logan’s hand, looking in his eyes for an answer. It must be bad.
James and Marie come and sit down with us in the living room. “OK, tell me. What’s wrong?” I ask.
James begins, “this afternoon, it seems that Dan got drunk and started to beat on Mel.”
“What? Is she OK? What happened?” I ask, my heart feeling like it’s up in my throat.
“I’m getting to it, now just let me tell it. Dan chased her into the kitchen, yelling the whole time about how he has to kill her, because she is your friend.”
I gasp, afraid of what I am going to hear next.
“He followed Mel into the kitchen, hitting her whenever he could. Mel reached the stove and picked up her grandmother’s cast iron skillet and hit Dan upside the head with it just as we got there. He is in intensive care with a cracked skull. He’s in a medically induced coma until the swelling in his brain goes down. Mel says he’s been having terrible headaches for about a week, they think it may be a brain tumor but they won’t be able to tell until the swelling is gone.”
“Poor Mel, I’ve got to get to the hospital. She needs her friends there.” The last part of what James said begins to sink in. I don’t remember Matt mentioning the headaches after James and Logan showed up. Oh my God, it’s all my fault! This reinforces the decision I made earlier.
“I’m going to the hospital to be with Mel. I’ll call you when I have more information.” I hope they can’t tell I’m lying. I’ve got to get away before someone else gets hurt because of me. I head out the door towards my house, hoping they don’t follow me. I’ve got to get far away from everyone I love, I can’t take the chance they will be hurt because of their proximity to me. I walk into my house and go upstairs and start packing a bag, just the basics, I can buy more when I get away. Every time I turn around, everything I put in the bag starts floating back out and back into the drawer. Gram must not want me to leave, but I can’t stay and watch my friends fall victim to this demon.
Saving Cassie (Fairfield Corners) Page 14
