by Franca Storm
“Yeah,” I say. “And I’m sorry…for all the trouble.”
He just grunts at that. And then he eyes the bag and tells me, “Ain’t just me you ain’t gotta be scared of. Aint gotta be scared of those faces you’re seeing when you’re pounding on this bag.”
“I—”
“Torvin? His thugs? Maybe Jase now, too? And you—the scared part of you.”
A nervous laugh escapes me. “Do you have a background in psychology, or something?”
“Nah. Just good at reading people.” He steps up to me and eyes me intensely as he says, “Fear cripples people, Sarah. The only use it’s really got is when you turn it ‘round and make it your bitch. When you figure out how to kill it, to make damn sure the thing you’re afraid of ain’t never gonna happen.”
His words reach into the heart of me and I find myself admitting, “I don’t want to rely on other people to protect me. I need to be able to save myself.”
“Runner’s always gonna be tryin’ to protect you, now you’re his. Same with the club. But I get what you’re saying. You know who I’m married to, yeah?”
I laugh at that. “Yeah. Rox is tough, that’s for sure.”
“But she weren’t always. Had to start somewhere. She started with fear, just like you. But now, hell, the woman don’t fear nothing. Nobody.” He shakes his head to himself. “Causes me a shitload of problems sometimes, too.”
He walks to the back of the room then, to the bench there covered with equipment. He starts putting on some boxing gloves. Once he’s done, he walks back to me and says, “Runner’s the best teacher for this kinda thing, but he ain’t here. So, I’m gonna show you a few things.”
“Aren’t you…busy?” He’s President. I can only imagine all the stuff he has on his plate.
“This time of the day’s when I work out. Got a couple of hours.”
“And you want to use that time to teach me?”
“I’m gonna help you. You’re gonna help me.”
“Me help you?” I ask, having no idea how someone like me could help someone like him.
“With Runner.”
“He won’t…talk.”
“That’s how he is. I’m gonna need your help to change that. He’s gotta get help. He ain’t fooling nobody. He ain’t fine.”
“I know,” I say, sadly. “Whatever you need, I’ll do it.”
“I wanna get him to those addiction meetings. Problem is, he don’t wanna do that. He don’t see himself as an addict no more. Thinks he’s recovered. But the second that shit hit his system that was all shot to hell. He ain’t responding to me. The only person he is responding to and the only person he ain’t being destructive and difficult with is you. Need you to start pushing harder. Pushing harder to convince him to get help.”
“I’ll try, Ax, but he won’t even talk about it. When I did try to talk to him about it, we ended up…” I stop myself as I realize I’m about to tell Ax about an extremely personal moment between me and Zeb. Oh God. I can feel myself blushing.
Ax chuckles. “Know what happened. You guys weren’t exactly quiet ‘bout it. Trust me, though, he’s gonna respond to you. You just gotta keep going at it.”
“How can you be so sure? He might do the opposite and push me away. He has to you.”
Ax shakes his head. “He won’t. Known him for twenty years and I ain’t never seen him this way with no woman before. He’s into you in a big way. Loves you. And that kinda thing grabs a man by the balls and has him doing shit he never thought he would. For Runner, that includes actually listening to somebody for once.”
“I hope you’re right.”
I don’t want to lose Zeb. I can’t. He’s come to mean so much to me. He’s everything to me. I love him in a way I never thought possible. Wholly, truly and unconditionally.
The idea of losing him to this…addiction is too awful to even think about.
Chapter 23
~Runner~
Irritating noise blasts through my head, forcing me awake.
Awake?
When did I fall asleep?
I open my eyes and they’re so heavy that it takes me a while to open ‘em all the way.
What I see shocks the shit outta me.
What the hell’s happening?
I’m curled up on some dirty-looking, worn out brown couch. Looks like I’m in some kinda frat house. There’s people everywhere. Partying. Drinking. And…shit…there’s drugs. People bent over tables doing lines. I can barely make any of ‘em out clearly, cuz my vision’s real messed up. Blurry and shit. Can’t hear what nobody’s saying neither. It’s all mashing together, just like everything I’m seeing.
Fuck. I’m high.
I fight to get myself up off the couch. Even sitting up is a battle and a half. My whole body’s so damn heavy.
As I get to my feet, my head starts swimming, a harsh wave of light-headedness hitting me. It’s all I can do not to puke my guts up as I feel it rising up within me.
I gotta sit back down.
But I can’t.
I’m in some place I don’t know.
A frat house. Hell, I’m twenty years past all that. Way too old for it.
And I’m high. I’m fucking high!
Feel drunk, too.
Jesus Christ.
How did this happen?
One minute I’m riding. Ben’s tailing me like Ax ordered. Then we pull over to have a drink at some bar. And then…and then I dunno. I don’t fucking know!
Shit. What am I on?
Feels like it could be GHB, cuz of how exhausted I am. Maybe mixed with some other shit, too. Ain’t sure.
Takes me a long time to find the door.
Typical. It’s right over on the other side of the room. I start making my way over to the wall a few feet away to my right. I can use it for support.
Hell, I ain’t even sure I’m walking as I start over there. My body don’t feel like it’s connected to me. My mind’s screaming at it to walk forward, but it’s having a hard time listening.
Means I’m real high.
All I know is I gotta get outta here.
Gotta get to my bike.
And the noise...the bright lights...everything feels so intense I can’t take it. I’m gonna hurl. Gotta go. Gotta leave now.
Got no idea how I make it, or how long it takes me, cuz it feels like I ain’t even really awake, like I’m walking in some suffocating dream state, but I make it to the door.
I push through and a rush of cold air hits me, sending a shocking chill through my whole body.
I look down. I’m dressed. Jeans. Black hoodie. My cut. Must’ve been real hot back in that frat room then.
I struggle across the parking lot, tryin’ to find my bike. I look up at the building I just walked outta. Yeah, it’s a huge motherfucking frat building. Got ‘em Greek letters on it. Looking up destabilizes me quick in my messed up state and it has me tripping over my own two feet.
I lose my balance and crash to my knees.
“Ah…shit,” I grunt, tryin’ to get back up.
But my body ain’t cooperating. I got no coordination and no goddamn strength. Just wanna sleep.
I collapse onto my side, fighting to catch my breath. I bring my hands to my face and squeeze my eyes shut, tryin’ to stop everything from spinning.
Something slams into my side.
It has me choking.
It hits me again. Brutally hard, rolling me onto my back from the power behind it.
“Shit,” I cry out.
A pair of pussy-ass designer shoes fill my messed up vision.
“Look at me. Look up,” a voice demands.
Guess I don’t move fast enough, cuz, the next thing I know, hands are on me, jerking me up. I see Jase glaring at me. He’s holding my arms, forcing me into a sitting position as he crouches down in front of me.
“What…what’s happening?”
“You’re high, little brother.”
“But…I…no…just whiskey.
”
“That was just the beginning.”
“You…you did this.”
“You did this,” he tells me.
Did I? Would I? I really don’t know. My foggy brain remembers something then. “Ben…where?”
“Who’s Ben?” somebody else asks, laughing. One of Jase’s bodyguards, I guess.
“How?” is all I can get out. How am I high?
But I know then. Something clicks for me. “You,” I choke. “You did this...Jase…you did this to me.”
He just grins.
“You…you spiked…my drinks.”
“Did I?” he challenges. “You sure about that? It sounds like something you’d do on your own.”
“Shut…it…were you.”
He pulls something outta his pocket and flashes it in my face, but I can’t make it out. Guess he knows that, cuz he tells me, “Your phone. I sent your boy, Ax, a little message from you, telling him all about this. He should be along shortly to pick your ass up.”
He grabs my hair and jerks me into him then, making me grunt from the bite of pain. “Your club’s legit now. Getting mixed up in drugs—having one of its most senior members using—is gonna screw all of that up. Doing this tonight, you’ve really left Ax no choice, little brother. He’s gonna have to kick you outta the club.”
“No! Weren’t me! No, Jase!” I scream, rabidly. “No!”
He laughs. “Yes. But don’t worry. You got a place with me.” He strokes my hair. “Come back in, little brother.” And then he starts laughing again. “Gonna have to after tonight. You and Thorns are done.”
He snaps his fingers behind him. I see some guy I dunno step forward. Big guy. A bodyguard whose voice I heard earlier. He hands Jase a bottle. Looks like vodka.
“Do it,” Jase tells him.
Next thing I know, the guy’s grabbing my jaw and forcing it open.
I can’t do shit as Jase unscrews the cap of the half-empty thing and pours it down my throat. It has me gagging and choking, but he don’t stop.
“This used to be your favorite. Liquid ecstasy, Zeb. Sorry about the vodka. I know you don’t like it. But you drank my spiked supply of whiskey already. Need to keep you high for when Ax gets here. Can’t have you sober or he won’t see what you did.”
He pulls it away and they both let go of me roughly.
The back of my head smashes onto the concrete.
And I’m done.
Everything slips away.
***
“We need to take him to a hospital!” I yell to Ax from the back of his truck.
He eyes me in the rear-view mirror. “Can’t do that.”
“What? Why not?”
“He’s got a record for dealing. Some outstanding shit, too. You bring a guy like him into a hospital with what he’s got in his system and the cops will be jumping all over it. He’ll end up in jail.”
Oh. Wow. I knew Zeb had had a run in with the law before from the way he’d reacted when I’d suggested calling the cops outside my diner that night, but it’s worse than I’d imagined.
I squeeze his hand. He’s passed out in the back of Ax’s truck. He’s sweating and his rapid-fire pulse is freaking me out. It’s nowhere near normal.
Ax was training me in the clubhouse gym when he got that awful text from Zeb saying he was in trouble. I somehow managed to convince Ax to let me come along with him. Probably because he’d been in shock over the call.
We’d found Zeb sprawled out in a parking lot of a college frat house miles away from Reirdon Falls. He’d been unconscious when we’d found him and he still is. That’s why I’m freaking out.
“He said in his text that he took something. What do you think it was?” I call to Ax.
“No fucking clue, Sarah. But with Runner it’ll be something hard-core.”
“But why would he do this? It doesn’t make sense. I don’t think he’d—”
My words get caught in my throat as Zeb suddenly squeezes my hand tightly.
“Shit,” I gasp out, almost jumping out of my skin at his sudden movement.
He shifts on the backseat and his eyes flicker open. Well, barely.
“Zeb! Zeb, can you hear me?” I ask, frantically, cupping the side of his face with my free hand.
He tries to reach out to me, but he’s shaking like crazy. “Sarah,” he croaks.
“Yeah, it’s me, baby. It’s me. You’re okay now. We’ve got you.”
“Weren’t…I didn’t…weren’t me….”
“What, baby?”
“Not me…not me.”
“I don’t understand,” I tell him, hating that I can’t give him the understanding that he needs right now. But he’s incoherent. I can’t make sense of it.
“Sarah! He’s fucked outta his mind. He ain’t got no idea what he’s saying,” Ax tells me. “Don’t bother engaging, yeah? Just gonna get yourself more worked up.”
Zeb squeezes my hand again. His eyes are glazed over and pained as he rasps, “Spiked.”
And then he closes his eyes and he’s gone again, pulled under by a drug-induced sleep.
“Oh my God,” I breathe.
“You all right?” Ax calls to me.
I can’t even answer. Tears are filling my eyes and emotion is welling up inside me at seeing him this way. He’s in so much pain. He’s so messed up. I can’t stand witnessing him so broken and helpless. It’s cutting into me that the man I love is suffering so much.
“We’re gonna be back at the clubhouse in a few. Gonna be okay, Sarah. You feel me?”
“Yeah,” I choke out.
Is it, though? Is Zeb really going to be okay? Looking at him now, I’m not so sure.
Chapter 24
~Sarah~
“Fuck!” Ax roars, slamming his fist down on his desk. “What you want, Smiter?”
Smiter doesn’t seem to be the least bit put off by Ax’s display of temper. He just stands with his arms folded and answers him calmly, “Want you to cut him some slack. Runner needs the club. Hell, more than any one of us.”
“Cut him some slack?” Ax fumes, stalking over to him. “What you think I been doing since all this bullshit started?”
As Ax gets in his face, Smiter does react then and he takes a step back. That’s how scary Ax is right now. Smiter’s a huge guy, too and he’s the enforcer person—I forget what they call it—for the club as well. And he’s showing a nervous reaction? Wow.
I know I should leave my place by the door where I’m leaning, but I can’t. I need to make sure Zeb’s going to be okay.
It’s been several hours since the incident and Zeb hasn’t left his room at all. He hasn’t woken up. I’d been sitting with him at first, not wanting to leave his side. But then Ax had ordered two prospects to put him on room arrest and they’d forced me to leave. I’d gone back to my own room, but then I’d heard a huge argument happening just down the hall, coming from Ax’s office. Hearing Zeb’s name being mentioned is what brought me here. Neither Ax nor Smiter have noticed me standing here for the last few minutes. They’ve been too caught up in their war of words.
“Club’s legit now and we got him dressed in club colors and using at some frat right there in fucking public? Hell, no! He put the entire club at risk tonight! And you want me to cut him some slack? Get a grip, Smiter! He won’t take my help. Won’t take nobody’s. So, what you want me to do? Brush it under the carpet? Pretend it never happened? Can’t. My job is to protect this club. And, right now, Runner being ‘round is a real big risk. He’s using again. He’s outta control. And all that shit’s gonna come back on the club.”
Smiter nods his head in reluctant resignation. “Yeah,” he grunts. “It’s just…you ain’t gonna actually kick him out, right? Ain’t gonna strip him of membership? I mean, Ax, it’s Runner, brother.”
Ax scrubs his hand over his face and mutters, “You think I don’t know that? I fucking know, Smiter.” He shifts his weight and says, “But, if he’s using again, I got no choice. I gotta at least p
ut him on leave.”
I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take hearing this about Zeb. And, before I know it, the words are out of my mouth without any sort of filter and I blurt out, “He didn’t do it!”
Uh oh.
Ax’s fierce gaze snaps to mine.
Smiter turns and tells me, “Sweetheart, this ain’t no place for you. Head back to your room, yeah?”
I know he’s trying to protect me from Ax’s temper, but I can’t do it. I can’t walk away. I can’t cower like I’ve been known to do in the past. Not now. Not now that Zeb needs me. He needs me to fight for him, like he’s fought for me with Eddie.
And so I shake my head at him and fold my arms across my chest. I summon a calming breath and do my best not to look directly at Ax and that scary glare of his. Whoa. I really don’t want to be on his bad side. Ever. But it’s a risk I’m going to have to take now. For Zeb.
“Spiked,” I croak out.
“What?” Ax snaps.
“That’s the last thing Zeb said to me before he passed out again in your truck.”
Smiter frowns. “Spiked? As in drinks? Spiking drinks?”
I nod. “That’s what he must’ve meant, yeah. Someone did this to him.”
I see Ax taking my words in.
And then Smiter asks him, “Where the hell was Ben through all this? Thought you had him on Runner, keeping watch over him?”
“Looking for him and calling me, freaking out. Said Runner shook him.”
“It must be Jase,” I press. “Zeb wouldn’t…you saw how devastated he was after what Jase did to him, Ax. Why would he go anywhere near any drugs again?”
Ax and Smiter exchange a sad look. Ax tells me, “He’s a junkie, Sarah.”
“He’s not. He’s been clean for years.”
“Don’t matter. They get a taste again and it’s game over. And he got one hell of a taste. Jase knew what he was doing, shooting him up with the worst possible shit. Fucking heroin.”
“But—”
“He’s right, Sarah.”
I jump in surprise at the sound of the voice behind me and then the hand on my shoulder. I turn to see Zeb standing there.
