by Ray Weeks
And after the things I've done today, I don't want to chance it. It's been a while since I've felt like living, but I haven't been scared of it. I am, now.
Not of Bellini. Whatever he could do to me would be nothing compared to what he's already done.
I don't want to live anymore because I'm scared of what I've become, and of the nightmares I'd have, and of the ghosts that would haunt me.
I suppose they can follow me to Hell, but if I really believed in any of that Hell business, I wouldn't have done any of this in the first place.
They're mostly out now, so I'm going to click this little button. Any of you cops out there watching, make sure you stand back—you don't want to be running up on this building just as it blows.
So I guess we're at the end of my story. The news has a picture of Vic's car—he's apparently just down the street, in his super fancy car with the dark tinted windows. The reporter says he can see a faint image of a screen, and they're speculating that he's watching me on the internet. Hey, Vic. Cops want to talk to him about the murder of Ralphie, but I guess they'll give him a little time, I don't know.
I called Phil a few minutes ago. He wasn't near as friendly as he was at first, and I don't blame him a bit. I told him I was sending out the hostages and he said he hoped I burned in hell, which I assume is probably not the usual thing a hostage negotiator tells a guy.
I took it as a—what did Phil call it earlier?—a sign of good faith. Of trust. He believed I'd let the hostages go, so there was no need to be cordial.
Or maybe he just didn't care, after seeing the things I'd done.
Doesn't matter.
Oh, one last thing, before I go. You guys remember Jerry? He'll be on at nine tonight. You should watch him. Channel eight. Even as he left, that man had huge stones.
On his way out of the building, he stopped and said, "I'm sorry for what happened to your family, but that's no excuse for what you've done here today. You're just as evil as Victor Bellini. Perhaps more. You give the human race a bad name."
I wanted to scream at him, I wanted to shake him until he saw things my way. I wanted to explain to him that none of this was my fault, that I'm not a bad guy. But I only wanted to do that because we all want to be the good guy, no matter what we've done.
Instead, I lit a cigarette, and I told him that he was right. I told him that he was a brave man, and I wished him luck in his effort to be a good man.
They're all out, now. Safely away from the building.
So here we go.
Good luck, humanity.
From the same author on Feedbooks
So Far (2010)
"What's the worst thing you've ever done?"
These are the words that launch a man into his past, forcing him to recall an event that changed his life forever.
Cardinal Rule (2010)
Life's rough in the Underside--you've got fairies tending bar, leprechauns mugging you at knife point, and gnomes who are just too damn stupid to know what's good for 'em--but nobody's tougher than Burdoch.
He's on the trail of a man who double-crossed him, and when he finds him, he'll teach the most important rule of the Underside.
Hungry For Love (2010)
"Hungry For Love" is a story about Brian and Aubrey. They are very much in love. They are also living in a world where the dead walk, and loving someone doesn't work quite the way it used to.
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