by T. W. Brown
Tonight she was wearing shorts...almost. I mean I am sure that they started off as shorts, but I just can’t see anybody modifying them to the extent that they have so many tiny rips in them located with such strategic perfection that they come very close to making her a flasher. And the bare midriff tee shirt looks to be a size or two small…at least for her bra-less boobs. It sports the Estacada High School Rangers’ logo, albeit somewhat stretched and malformed by the pair of unfairly firm mounds stuffed under it.
“What, dare I ask, exactly is a thrall?” I decided to play along and play nice for now.
“My need to feed is not something I can always find a source to quench. For just such occasions, I have a few humans that give willingly.”
“So you are here for the cuisine,” I said with a laugh that I hoped sounded pleasant and not too mocking.
“In a manner of speaking,” Belinda agreed. “But I actually wanted to find you first.”
My warning bells went off. There was no universe where Belinda and I could be friends. She was rude and overbearing and thought she was God’s gift. Plus, her body was frozen in the form of a girl in her late teens which was so damn unfair. I mean, if I’d been transformed into a ghoul when I was her age and could walk around without my bra…then maybe…
“Focus, Ava,” Belinda snapped her fingers in front of my face.
“Sorry, just considering the likelihood of anything you say being anything that I want to hear.”
“Actually, I wanted to let you know that one of my Kiss saw what he was certain had to be a zombie, but if you are going to be your typical—”
“Wait,” I cut her off. “So one of your vampire minions saw an actual zombie?”
“That is the thing…he wasn’t sure what it was until Morgan paid a visit and issued a warning that we should stay clear of the area.”
“Can zombies hurt vampires?” I asked. Honestly…I didn’t know and needed as much information as possible.
“Doubtful,” Belinda said.
That is when it dawned on me…she didn’t know! She was not here to pass on any information, she was here because there was something going on and she didn’t know anything about it! I only had a moment to wonder if this was that OCD-level curiosity that vampires supposedly possessed.
“Well then, what is it that you want?”
Belinda was silent. That was perhaps the most peculiar thing. She was never at a loss for words. I was getting nervous. There were a lot of differences between her and me, so help was the last thing that I would expect.
“If I tell you this,” Belinda started, her lips curled up into what I was almost sure had to be an equivalent of a smile, “then you and I are even. I owe you nothing.”
Okay? Now I was really at a loss. What was she talking about? The only real interaction we’d had was when that vampire had come in to her territory and I’d been tasked to kill him. But I’d been paid. A lot.
“I know that you are clueless, but you would eventually find out and then it would be even worse.”
Nope. Still not getting it. I wish she didn’t have Lisa all tranced out. I bet she would be pretty helpful right now. She knows all this crap. However, she was still standing there with her mouth open and a single strand of drool starting to trickle out of one side.
“You performed a favor for me,” Belinda stated. She said this like it was a complete explanation that made everything clear.
When I just stood there, she made a low growl in her throat and her eyes did this flashing thing. It was weirder because her face did not change. Not a wrinkle of the brow, not a turning down of the lips. Nothing.
“By the laws of the Kiss, any who do a service that are not a part of the Kiss must either be offered a place amongst us or be the recipient of a favor. Since there is absolutely no way that you can become one of us in your…condition (she said that word like it tasted bad coming out of her mouth), then I offer you some information that may be of great service to you.”
“And when you give me this information that is so important, but that Morgan just happened to leave out, then we are even?” That seemed like a risky proposition. What if the information was bogus, or what if it provided me with absolutely nothing useful?
“This information will be of great assistance, and I can promise you that Morgan was not aware,” Belinda said as if she could read my thoughts. “If she knew this then she might not have enlisted you. She might have gone outside her district for a professional.”
I wanted to be offended, but the reality was that I was absolutely an amateur. Heck, the only knowledge that I was armed with up to this point had come from Google. I seriously doubted that they were the authority when it comes to the real supernatural world.
“And if I agree, then you tell me and…what?”
“Nothing,” Belinda said. This was not the first time that I cursed her visible lack of emotion. If that girl ever took an interest in poker, the card sharks of the world were in for a mess of trouble.
“Can you be just a bit more clear?” I finally asked when it was obvious that she was done with her explanation.
“Nothing is fairly self-explanatory. However, since I am aware of your intellectual short-comings, I will provide some clarity. What I am going to tell you is vital to your ability to handle this situation. As far as providing you with anything concrete? I doubt it, considering that what I am about to tell you has never been more than simple speculation for hundreds of years.”
“Okay.” Now don’t mistake my one word response for simple approval. That word probably took at least five seconds to say. If I wrote it out the way it came from my mouth, it would have taken at least two lines. I just think that looks silly whenever I have read a book and the writer uses six O’s, five H’s, a single K, a dozen A’s and three Y’s. There was a lot of mixed emotion behind my response. Unfortunately, vampires do not have the market cornered when it comes to curiosity. Avas hold their own in that department.
“You may be dealing with The Queen of the Zombies.”
I have no idea how long that sentence hung in the air, but I do know that I stood there with my mouth open like my friend Lisa for quite a while.
Then I started laughing.
“I am glad you find that amusing, but I doubt that you realize just how serious this situation could be if that is a fact instead of just a rumor,” Belinda said. Now, once again, there was very little change in her expression, but she was definitely scolding me. However, there was something else there, and if I was right…this was no laughing matter.
“Okay, so let’s say that this queen of the zombies (I had not yet learned to respect or fear her enough to speak with capital letters) is here. What’s the big deal?”
“Since I am pressed for time, I will dispense with asking you what you know about world history between around 1340 and 1350. I know you have to at least have heard about The Black Death.”
“That plague thingy that wiped everybody out?” Ha! I’m not so dumb.
“If it had ‘wiped everybody out’ as you so eloquently put it, we would not be having this conversation,” Belinda said. I really hated how much she enjoyed putting me in what she considered to be my place.
“Fine, but didn’t it kill over half the people in Europe or something?”
“Very close,” Belinda said, surprising me with a confirmation that my SWAG (Silly-Wild-Ass-Guess) was on target…or at least in the general area. “However, it was the Augustines and the Templars who created that version of history to be passed on.”
“Huh?” Back to being the stupid girl.
“I’m sure that you have at least heard about the Templars. Plenty of movies have used them in some manner or another as bad guys.”
I just gave a nod. I didn’t think that another really long ‘okay’ was appropriate. Belinda looked around almost like she was concerned that somebody could sneak up on us. Trust me, if something could…I didn’t want to meet it.
“The Queen of the Zombie
s came to power and tried to take the world,” Belinda said. “It took the combined efforts of the Templars and the Augustines to ensure that the history books said otherwise. In fact, it was the Augustines that convinced Giovanni Boccaccio to write The Decameron.”
When I just stared blankly, she went on with her explanation. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe her; I was actually trying to figure out what the hell The Decameron might be.
“Supposedly she was imprisoned in the same secret lair where Arthur’s sword, the Arc of the Covenant, and the Christ’s drinking goblet are secured.”
Now it was just starting to sound like a bad Indiana Jones rip off. Still, as smart as she might be, I didn’t credit Belinda with the ability to make all of this up in the fly.
“So how do I kill her?” That seemed like a pretty logical question. And considering all of the stuff that she seemed to know about this so-called queen of zombies (notice how I left of the word ‘the’?), it did not seem a stretch that she might know.
“I don’t think you can.”
Well that was not at all the answer I had hoped for. Besides, every monster has a way to kill it. Right? I mean, if you go by the movies—which supposedly have some basis in fact according Morgan—then it would stand to reason that every monster has an Achilles Heel.
“I believe that those who managed to lock her away would have killed her if given the chance. After all, she was trying to subjugate the entire world and managed something almost single-handedly that even nations marching under their silly little banners have not accomplished—the death of over half the population of the civilized world.” Belinda flashed her fangs in what I thought was a yawn…until she snarled. “My thrall!”
And just that quick, she was gone.
“…standing right over there,” Lisa said. She sounded like a record getting up to speed.
I gave her a curious look. I had no idea how Belinda did it, but I know I didn’t like it. The way she could just pop in and put Lisa into what was basically a coma for an indeterminate time, and then pop out and let her return with absolutely zero knowledge as to what had happened.
“Who was?” And that was the other problem. I couldn’t recall what the heck she was talking about.
“This lady…” Lisa drifted off for a second. I looked around expecting Belinda to be back, but then she snapped out of it and continued. “It was weird because I almost thought she wasn’t real. Nobody stands that still. Plus, it was like there was not even a hint of this soft evening breeze causing anything to ruffle. And she has dark hair that should have been waving at least a little bit.”
My mind seemed to fizzle for a second. There was something else that had been happening right around that moment. Now I couldn’t remember. I know I’m not the brightest girl, but I’m not stupid. I focused my attention on trying to remember exactly what had been happening when Belinda so rudely interrupted. I could remember getting out of the car…walking up to the coin-op laundry, and then thinking that maybe we should look in the pizza place. I was sure I was missing something.
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TW Brown is the author of the Zomblog series, his horror comedy romp, That Ghoul Ava, and, of course, the DEAD series. Safely tucked away in the beautiful Pacific Northwest, he moves away from his desk only at the urging of his Border Collie, Aoife. (Pronounced Eye-fa)
He plays a little guitar on the side...just for fun...and makes up any excuse to either go trail hiking or strolling along his favorite place...Cannon Beach. He answers all his emails sent to twbrown.maydecpub @gmail.com and tries to thank everybody personally when they take the time to leave a review of one of his works.
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