by J. L. Perry
“Bye Jazzi,” Blake says. I don’t want to say to goodbye to her. I said it the other day and it almost fucking broke me. I’ll be damned if I’m going to say it again. I don’t want to ignore her though.
“Hey, Red,” I say before the doors close. She turns around and looks at me. “Good luck tomorrow.” She gives me a sad smile.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
Fuck, I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I need to get away from here for a while. Away from her. Seeing her is too fucking hard.
CHAPTER TW
ENTY-THREE
Jacinta
The tears are already falling before I reach the door of my apartment. I’ve been trying so hard to hold them in. I really don’t want Cass and Connor to see me like this, but I can’t help it. It feels like my heart is breaking all over again.
It is going to be hard avoiding him altogether since we live in the same building. If I want to get over him though, it’s the only way. Seeing him, like I did just now, is way too hard.
I find Cass and Connor in the kitchen. Connor has her pushed up against the wall with his tongue down her throat. Great…just what I need to see right now. Thankfully, they are so wrapped up in each other that they don’t even realise that I am home.
The flood gates really open up once I’m in my bedroom. I quickly strip off my clothes and make my way into the bathroom. I step into the shower and let the hot water wash away my tears. I hope things get easier soon because I don’t know how much more of this heartache I can take.
****
Mason
By the time we reach our apartment my mind is made up. I need to get away from here, and fast. “How would you feel about taking some time off school buddy?” I ask. “We could go to Queensland for a little holiday and maybe visit some of those amusement parks.”
“Really?”
“Of course. It will be fun.”
“Can Jazzi come too?” Fuck, I wish… She’s the only reason I’m even contemplating this trip. Staying here knowing I can’t have her, is just too hard. The further I am from her, the better. Maybe not seeing her for a few weeks will help me get over her.
Who am I fucking kidding?
The way I’m feeling right now, I doubt I’ll ever get over her. I went my whole fucking life without committing to a chick. Then boom…in walks Red with her magical fucking powers. She casts some kind of spell on me and my cock and now I’m well and truly fucked.
“No buddy, she has her new job remember,” I finally say. “It will just be the two of us. Like it used to be.” He needs to start getting used to that. I’m afraid that’s how it’s going to be from now on.
“Okay. Do I get to go on a plane again?” he asks.
“You sure do.”
“Awesome,” he squeals as he jumps up and does a fist pump in the air. He makes me laugh. I love seeing him happy like this. It’s a pity I’m feel so fucking miserable inside. I’m going to try my hardest not to let him see that though.
“How about you go jump in the bath, and I’ll make a few calls and see what I can organise?”
I follow him into the bathroom so I can fill the bath. Once he’s all settled I make my way out into the kitchen. I need a fucking beer. My hands are still shaking from my run-in with Red. I know running away isn’t the answer. Honestly though, I can’t stay here and risk running into her all the time. It’s just too fucking hard.
After I make a call to the travel agent, it’s all set. We fly out in the morning.
****
Jacinta
Thankfully, by the time I get out of the shower I’ve stopped crying. I apply some makeup to hide my puffy eyes. When I’m dressed I walk back out into the kitchen. Neither of them notice that I’ve been crying, which is good. I think talking about it will only bring on the tears again.
The three of us end up going out for a nice dinner to celebrate my new job. Cass and I share a bottle of wine between us. I don’t dare have anymore. I have work in the morning. I certainly wouldn’t make a good impression turning up on my first day with a hangover.
I managed to hold in my tears and plaster a smile on my face the whole time we were out. Later that night when I was in bed though, the flood gates opened again. Being without Mason feels like part of me is missing. Maybe breaking up with him was a mistake.
****
I absolutely loved my first day at work. Working with children is definitely what I want to do for the rest of my life. Sure it can be sad at times, but it is also very rewarding. Sebastian is wonderful. He is so caring towards the kids. I’m really going to enjoy working here with him.
Mason was on my mind most of the day. I even considered going up to see him when I got home later that day but chickened out. Hopefully they might call in here. Well, I can only hope. Of course I’m still concerned about his outburst that night but, I’m now thinking that maybe I was a little impulsive breaking up with him. Maybe Brooke was right. Maybe we are made for each other. I didn’t even give him a chance to explain that night. He practically begged me to talk to him about what happened, but I wouldn’t listen.
****
It’s now been four days since I ran into Mason and Blake outside the apartment building. I haven’t seen either of them since. Maybe he’s given up on us already. I don’t blame him if he has. He tried a number of times to get me back but I shut him down every time.
I want to ask Connor if he’s seen or heard from Mason, but I don’t. I wish I had the courage to call or text him. As the days go by and I don’t hear from him, I’m thinking that maybe breaking up is what he wants.
****
After a week passes, I can’t stand it anymore. I’m missing both my boys and I need to see them. After a few hours of thinking about them, I finally pluck up the courage to go up to their apartment. No luck. He doesn’t answer the door. I’m not sure if he is avoiding me or if he’s not home. Either way, I make my way back down to my apartment, deflated.
When I enter my apartment, I feel like I’m on the verge of tears again. Cass and Connor are snuggled up on the lounge watching a movie.
“Hey, where did you just go?” Connor asks.
“I went up to Mason’s place. I wanted to see how Blake was doing. I miss him.” That wasn’t my only reason for going up there but I’m not going to tell Connor that. If Mason really does wants things to be over between us, I’m not going to let on that I’m having second thoughts. I’d be humiliated if it turns out that I am right.
“They’re not home,” he replies.
“I gathered that.” Well actually I wasn’t sure. I’m glad, now I know he wasn’t intentionally not answering the door.
“He and Blake are in Queensland.” What! Oh, my god. Why are they in Queensland? I hope they’re not thinking of moving up there. Surely not. He couldn’t leave Bridge behind. He loves that place. Or could he?
Oh, I think I’m going to be sick.
“Shit Jaz,” Connor says as he gets up from the lounge. “You are awfully pale. Are you okay?” He’s now standing in front of me and cups my face in his hands. I instantly feel the tears fill my eyes.
“Fuck,” he says as he wraps me in his arms. I start to sob. “Talk to me Jaz,” he pleads. Cass gets up off the lounge and comes over to stand behind me, before wrapping me in her arms too. I’m in the middle of a Cass and Connor sandwich. I love these two so damn much. I may not have Mason anymore but at least I have them.
After they let me cry a bit they lead me over to the lounge. Once they have me seated they both sit down. I have one either side of me. Cass’ hand is rubbing my leg and Connor’s is rubbing my back. I can feel both of their eyes on me. I can’t look at them right now so I keep my head down. Connor’s the first to speak.
“What can I do to help you Jaz? It fucking kills me to see you like this.” I just shrug.
Honestly, I don’t think there is anything they can do. I now realise that the only person who can stop the enormous amount of pain that I’m
feeling in my heart, is Mason.
“Do you want him back?” Cass asks. Yes…I…do! I don’t admit that to them though.
“I just want the pain to go away,” I whisper.
“Oh honey,” she says as she wraps me in her arms. Of course the tears start to flow again. This causes Connor to stand up and start pacing. I know he is extremely worried about me. I wish I could make the tears stop, but I can’t. I’ve been trying all week to put on a brave face in front of him. I’ve managed to keep all the tears at bay until now. At night, when I’m alone in bed, is when I let them fall.
I thought it would get easier with time.
Eventually the tears stop. Connor offers to call Mason for me, but of course I decline. I’ll wait and see how things pan out when he gets back from Queensland. That’s if he comes back. Surely he’ll come. God, he has to come back.
They offer to take me out for dinner and drinks but I don’t feel up to it. We end up ordering takeout and Cass and I share a bottle of wine. I can’t say I’m feeling better by the time I go to bed, but I’m grateful to have Cass’ and Connor’s love and support.
****
The next few days seem to drag on forever. Cass and Connor have been hovering over me. I know they are concerned but I’m grateful to be going into work today. I just need some space.
It’s Friday today, so I’m going to have to put up with their mothering for the whole weekend. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate how much they love and care for me, but I think they’ve made a secret pact not to leave me alone. If it’s not one or the other watching my every move, it’s both. I am surprised they let me even pee on my own.
I guess with everything that went on with Cass is still fresh in our minds. I’d never do anything like that though.
Sebastian calls me into his office at the end of the day. “Take a seat,” he says. “You don’t seem like your usual happy self today.”
“I’m just having a few personal issues, that’s all.”
“Anything you want to talk about?”
“No. Not really. It’s just some stuff with my ex,” I reply with a shrug, lowering my head. He’s a nice guy but also my boss. I don’t feel comfortable talking about this with him.
“Well if you change your mind, I’m here okay.” I look up at him and smile.
“Thank you.”
“So, do you have any plans for tonight?” His question catches me off guard.
“Ummm… No why?”
“Well, I have a charity function I need to attend tonight. Sarah was supposed to fly back today to accompany me, but her brother-in-law had to fly out on an urgent business trip, so she needs to stay on to look after her niece and nephew.”
“Oh, okay. That’s a shame.” I don’t know what else to say.
“So, anyway, I thought maybe you’d like to come in her place. It’s for a good cause. It’s to help raise money for abused and neglected children. There’ll be a lot of people in our field attending too. It will be good for you.”
It sounds wonderful, and right up my alley. Abused and neglected children is definitely a cause I’d like to be involved in. It also will be nice to meet some of my fellow colleagues. I know Sebastian is only asking me as a friend. I can tell he loves his wife and therefore has no ulterior motives.
“Sure why not,” I reply. “It beats sitting at home feeling sorry for myself.” Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have added the last bit. He has that look on his face again. I can tell he is analysing my response.
After clearing his throat, he says, “Okay great. I’ll pick you up around 7:00 p.m. Oh, and it is black tie. Do you have something to wear?” I nod. I have plenty of nice dresses. I also have Cass’ wardrobe on hand if I need it. I’m suddenly feeling a little nervous about going. I barely know him. This is definitely stepping out of my comfort zone. I suppose it will be good for me.
“I’m sorry about the short notice. I appreciate you agreeing to come with me. Sarah usually accompanies me to all these events. It can be a little boring sometimes so I’m glad I won’t be on my own,” he adds with a smile. He really does have a lovely smile. His whole face lights up when he smiles.
After saying goodbye to Sebastian and Jenny I head home. I call Cassie once I’m in the car. It’s operation makeover time. I know how much she loves to dress me up. I warn her that it is, in fact, a work function so I need to look respectable. Otherwise there is no telling what she’d dress me in. She sounds excited. I don’t know whether to be happy or worried about that. Maybe she’s just happy to see me getting out of the house and on with my life.
****
Mason
We have just touched down at Sydney Airport. Our little getaway was supposed to last for a few more days. Blake’s been having withdrawals though. His misses Jacinta. I miss her too. So fucking much. I took this trip to help get over her. If I’m honest with myself though, I love and miss her just as much as I did when I left.
She’s been on my mind constantly. The fact that Blake didn’t shut up about her, didn’t help matters either. Truth is, we both love her and want her back in our lives. I still haven’t given up hope that she’ll change her mind about us. Well, that’s what I’m praying for anyway.
Once we collect our baggage we head outside so I can flag down a taxi. I didn’t want to leave my bike at the airport while we were away so we caught a taxi here also.
It feels good to be home. We had a great time visiting in all the amusement parks whilst in Queensland. The resort we stayed at was right on the beach. We spent a lot of time swimming in the pool and the ocean. I was shocked to learn it was Blake’s first time. With the life he had before coming to live with me though, it’s not surprising.
Of course, he’d never learnt to swim either. I made it my mission to teach him while we were away. Every morning when the sea was calm I’d take him out. After a few days he was floating unaided and also treading water. We did a few sessions in the resort pool in the afternoons. He’s a fast learner and actually loves swimming. I’m going to continue his lessons when we get home. I think it’s important.
It’s just after 7:00 p.m. when the taxi drops us off. We ate on the plane so I won’t have to worry about organizing dinner. Blake wants to call in quickly to give Red the present he bought her at SeaWorld. I tell him we need to drop our suitcase off at the apartment first, then we can go down and see her. I’m grateful because it will give me a chance to see her again. I’ve missed her baby blues. Actually, I’ve missed everything about her. She’s my fucking sunshine.
Blake’s on a high as we travel back down to Red’s floor. He’s bouncing around with excitement as she clutches the gift he insisted on getting her. I can’t help basking in his happiness. Truthfully, I can’t wait to see her either. When the elevator stops on her floor and the doors open, my heart skips a beat when I see her standing there.
She looks so fucking beautiful. Even more beautiful than I remember. Fuck I’ve missed her. She’s smiling as she chats along to whomever she is with. I feel myself smiling as I look at her. I’m not sure who she’s talking to because my eyes are glued to her. I’ve never seen her dressed up as much as she is right now. Breathtaking would be the best way to describe her. She looks happy. That makes my chest hurt because without her, I’m far from fucking happy. I drag my eyes away from her. The pure joy I just experienced in seeing her again, is now gone. It’s replaced with pure fucking rage.
How…fucking…could…she!
CHAPTER TW
ENTY-FOUR
Jacinta
Cassie did a great job with my makeover. I hardly recognised myself once she was done. She has left my hair down, but added some soft curls. I am wearing a long sleek black satin gown. It’s strapless and hugs my curves before flowing to the floor. Cassie insisted that I wear her diamond choker necklace and matching bracelet. It’s a shame I have this stupid plaster on my arm, but there isn’t much I can do about it.
At least the new plaster doesn’t have any writing on it. I made
sure I saved the old one when the hospital cut if off though. It has both messages from Blake and Mason on it. I couldn’t bear to part with it so I asked the doctor if I could keep it. He was careful cutting it off, making sure not to make the cut where my boys had written.
My makeup is quite heavy tonight but I like it. It suits the outfit perfectly. The whole ensemble makes me look a lot older than my twenty-one years. That’s probably a good thing. It might gain me more respect from my colleagues. I’ve noticed in the past when I did work experience while at university, that others seem to look down on you when you are young and inexperienced. Everybody has to start somewhere.
I’m regretting accepting Sebastian’s invitation because I don’t feel like going out now. It seemed like a good idea when he asked me earlier today. Not so much now. I think mornings and nights are the hardest times for me. This was usually the time Mason and I spent together.
The longer the boys stay away, the more worried I become that they won’t be coming back. If I want to be honest with myself, I’m lost without them.
Sebastian seems surprised when I answer the door. “Wow,” is all he says. His reaction makes me blush. I invite him inside to meet Connor and Cass. Connor is in two minds about me going out tonight. He’s glad I’m getting out of the house, but he is also concerned about me going out with someone I hardly know.
I have assured him that Sebastian is a perfect gentlemen, as well as being happily married. He still insists that he meets him before I leave. I’m not happy about it, but I know his heart’s in the right place. I’ve warned him about threatening Sebastian. After all, he’s still my boss. I have total confidence that tonight is going to be two colleagues going out to a work-related charity function. Nothing more.
Thankfully, Connor is polite to him. He’s definitely sizing him up though. Sebastian doesn’t seem fazed by it at all.
After making some small talk with Connor he looks down at his watch. “I think we better get going. We don’t want to be late.” I give him a forced smile. “You know it’s not too late to pull out if you don’t want to come. No pressure.”
