by J. L. Perry
The ride over there doesn’t even register. My head is fucking spinning. When we drive down the long driveway I notice police cars everywhere. Then I see Connor. His head is in his hands and he’s pacing back and forth. He knew my mum well. This must be hard for him too. A huge motherfucking lump rises in my throat. I’ve been trying to hold it together since he called but when I see him I almost break.
As soon as he notices the car he stalks straight over to us. He opens the door and pulls me out. “Come here,” he says as his voice cracks. He wraps me in his arms. “I’m so fucking sorry mate.” Jesus fucking Christ he’s not helping here.
“Thanks,” is all I can manage right now.
“Can you come into the house?” One of the officers that brought me here asks. “We need to get a few details from you.”
“Ummm…can you talk to me out here? I don’t really want to go back in there.” I feel like a pussy but I can’t fucking bring myself to do it.
About ten minutes later another car pulls up. A silver Mercedes. I look over to the driver’s side, it’s that fucker. Lover boy. Jacinta jumps out of the passenger seat and runs to me. I’m so fucking glad she’s here. Even if it was that prick that brought her. Jacinta assures me he’s a nice guy and he probably is, but I can’t control the jealousy I feel towards him. I know I’m being silly but it’s the way I feel. She’s fucking mine.
“Oh Mason,” she cries and she throws herself in my arms and sobs. Fuckin’ hell, these two are going to be the death of me. I’m trying to keep it to-fucking-gether here people.
“I’m so glad you came babe,” I whisper as I wrap her in my arms and hold her tight. I need her so fucking much right now.
We stay at the house for a few hours. Eventually, we have to leave to go and get Blake from school. As much as I want to stay while they exhume the rest of my mother’s remains, I can’t. I couldn’t even bring myself to go around back. Apparently, from what Connor told us, she was buried under the shed. That explains the receipt I found in the folder. It makes me wonder if my father left it there for me to find.
Connor assures me he’s not going anywhere and he’ll make sure she gets the respect she deserves. I have the greatest best friend a guy could ask for. I love him like a brother. Always have. Always fucking will.
He lends us his car and says he’ll get one of the guys to drop him off later. I hug him again before we leave. I’m so fucking grateful for everything he’s done for me. I guess I’ll need to make arrangements for her funeral. At least she is going to get a proper burial now.
Even though I knew in my heart she was no longer alive, now I have confirmation, I’m fucking crushed. My heart is aching for her. Not only for everything she went through, but for everything she’s missed out on. I’ve had over ten years to prepare for this day but it doesn’t make it any easier. I hope my fucking father rots in hell for what he did.
****
We don’t mention anything in front of Blake. He’s too young to understand. When the funeral arrangements are made I’ll have a talk to him then. Of course I want him to be there with us when we lay her to rest. She was his Grandmother after all.
After dinner Jacinta takes care of Blake, while I sit in the lounge room drowning my fucking sorrows in beer. After the day I’ve had I fuckin’ need it. Connor calls over a little later to let me know they’ve finished at the house. He also advises me that I need to go to the hospital and give a DNA sample tomorrow. Just to confirm that it is, in fact, my mum’s remains. We all know it is but I guess it’s a formality that needs to be done.
He hands me back the keys to the house. I don’t know what I’m going to do with it. I’d like to burn the fucker down but on the other hand it was where my mum took her last breath so I can’t do that. I’ll worry about it later, I guess.
Connor sits down beside me grabbing a beer off the table. “When we were searching the house today we found this. Thought you might like it.” He passes it to me. It’s a photo album. Mine, from when I was boy.
I open it. The first photo is of my mum holding me when I was a baby. I run my finger over it as tears rise to my eyes. Fuck I miss her. So damn much my chest aches. The next few pages are of me when I was a small boy. I look exactly like Blake. It’s uncanny. I close it up again. One day when things aren’t so fresh I’ll be able to go through it. It will help me remember the good times and focus less on the shitty ones.
“Thanks mate,” I say. My voice cracks as I look over at him. He puts his hand on my shoulder to comfort me. He has tears in his eyes too.
****
Jacinta
A few days after finding Sophia I’m still feeling off. I’m trying my best to hide from Mason. He has enough on his plate. Cass on the other hand notices I’m not myself. Today she is dragging me to the doctors.
I think it’s got something to do with everything that’s going on in our lives at the moment but it’s best to get it checked out, I guess.
After a thorough examination shows up nothing he decides to take a urine sample and some blood. He’s going to call me tomorrow once the results are back from the lab. I’m pretty confident it won’t reveal anything.
Cass and I spend the rest of the day shopping and catching up. I don’t seem to see much of her these days, now that I’m practically living at Mason’s.
The next morning while at the clinic I get a call from the nurse asking me if I can come in and see the doctor today. “Did something show up in my tests?” I ask.
“The doctor can discuss that with you when you get here.” Shit. I was pretty confident there was nothing wrong with me. Maybe I was wrong.
I head over during my lunch break. I don’t tell anyone. It’s probably best to find out what I’m dealing with first. After taking a seat in his office I ask him why he wanted to see me. “Your results come back today.”
“And?” I already knew that.
“Miss. Maloney, you are pregnant.” Holy fucking shit! That was the last thing I expected him to say. My hand flies up to my mouth. I’m in shock. How can that be?
“There has to be a mistake. I’m on birth control,” I tell him.
“No mistake. The urine and blood tests both confirmed it. Birth control is not 100% fool proof Miss. Maloney. Have you been using any other form of protection?”
“No. Just that. I thought that was enough.”
“Like I said, it’s still possible to fall pregnant when you’re on the pill. Do you know who the father might be?” What the fuck?
“Yes. My boyfriend. I’ve only ever been with him.” I’m offended that he asks me that.
“Do you plan on keeping it?”
“Yes.” Oh God. I don’t have a choice. I could never get rid of it. Shit, I’m only twenty-one. I’m too young to be a mother. I have just started my career. What is Mason going to say? My head is spinning. I wish I brought Cass with me now.
I’m now sitting in my car, I’m still in shock. What am I going to do? I want to call Cass but Mason should be the first person I tell, I guess. I start the car and head back to work.
The rest of the day goes by in a blur. Numerous times my hand goes to my stomach. I’m going to be a mother. I still can’t believe it.
When I arrive at Mason’s apartment later that night, the boys are home. I have no idea how I’m going to break this too him. What if he’s not happy about it? God, I feel sick.
As soon as he sees me he knows something is up. “Are you okay babe? You’re awfully pale.”
“I’m fine. Just had a busy day.” I don’t want to bring this up in front of Blake.
We end up ordering takeout. My stomach’s in knots but I force down the food. I brought up my breakfast this morning and missed lunch because of my appointment. I need to eat. It’s not just about me anymore, I have a little life growing inside me now.
I’m in the kitchen rinsing off the plates when Mason comes in. He wraps his arms around my waist from behind nuzzling into my neck. “What’s up babe? You’re not yourself
tonight. You hardly said a word during dinner.”
“I’m just tired.”
“I’m going to put Blake to bed when he gets out of the bath. How about we have an early night? I’ve been keeping you up half the night since you’ve been staying here.”
“Okay,” is all I say. Tears burn my eyes. Thankfully my back is to him so he can’t see them.
While Mason gets Blake ready for bed I jump in the shower. When he joins me in bed he pulls me into his arms. We lay there in silence. I’m trying to pluck up the courage to tell him.
“Do you like being a father?” I ask.
“Yes. At first I didn’t think I would. Before Blake came into my life it was the last thing I wanted. Now, I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it.” I burst into tears. Don’t ask me why, I just do.
“What the fuck Jacinta?” he says as he rolls me onto my back, hovering over me.
“I’m pregnant,” I blurt out.
“What?”
“I’m pregnant.” A smile spreads across his face.
“You are?”
“Yes,” I sob.
“And you’re crying. Why?”
“I’m in shock. I’m scared. I’m worried what you’re going to say about it.” His smile widens.
“We’re going to have a baby?” I nod my head as tears continue to fall. He brushes my hair back and gently places his lips against mine. “We’re going to have a baby?” he repeats against my mouth. I feel his lips curl into a smile.
“Are you upset?” I ask.
“Are you kidding me?” he pulls back to look at me. He wipes the tears from my eyes before cupping my face in his hands. He smiles again while gazing down at me. “I couldn’t be fucking happier. I’d like nothing more than to have a baby with you.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. I love you,” he breathes as he places his lips on mine again. He ends up making sweet and gentle love to me. All the time telling me how happy he is and how much he loves me. So much for our early night.
****
Two weeks pass before Mason’s mother’s funeral. It was held up by the Coroner while he examined the remains, trying to find out the exact cause of death. The Coroner sent a copy of his findings to Mason but he refuses to read it. I don’t blame him.
The funeral was extremely sad. Mason held it together for most of the day. He was so brave. That night when we were in bed though he broke down. I just held him and comforted him as best I could.
My parents flew in from Melbourne for the funeral. Some of Mason’s work colleagues and the guys from Bridge attended. Brooke and Logan even came to pay their respects which was nice. Afterwards, they invited us over to their house on the weekend for a get-together.
That night we finally break the news to our family. We’ve been keeping the pregnancy a secret the past two weeks. I’ve come to terms with it now and I’m excited. It’s been really hard keeping it from everyone. Especially Cass. Mason wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while. He’s over the moon and fussing over me like you wouldn’t believe.
Everyone was happy with the news. My mum and Cass cried. Connor punched Mason in the arm demanding he make an honest woman out of me. Then he hugged him. Blake’s excited he’s going to have a little brother or sister to play with.
****
We arrive at Brooke’s house on Sunday around lunchtime. This is Blake’s first time meeting Angel and Chris. He’s excited about having other kids to play with.
After we eat, Logan offers to take Mason and the kids out on the boat. I stay behind with Brooke to help her clean up.
“I need to tell you something,” I say to her when we’re alone. “I’m pregnant.” She pulls me into her arms and squeezes me tight. I hear her sniffle as she holds me. I know she’s crying.
“Oh Jaz. I’m so happy everything has worked out for you. If anyone deserves to be happy, it’s you.”
Before the boys get back she drags me upstairs. “I need to show you something.” She leads me towards one of the spare rooms. She punches a code into the panel on the door.
“Why do you have a code lock on the door?”
“So the kids can’t get in.” When she opens it, I see why.
“Logan surprised me with this a few weeks ago.” I burst out laughing. In the room is a small stage with a pole installed in the middle. There is even a spotlight mounted on the roof. There’s a large black leather reclining chair sitting in the corner.
“I gave him a little demonstration at the studio one day, two days later he surprised me with this.”
“Mason wants to install one in the spare room at his place too,” I say. We both laugh. What is it with men and stripper poles?
By the time we get home later that night I’m worn out. The boys disappear up the hall and I make my way into the kitchen to make a coffee. It’s only early days and this pregnancy is already draining my energy. It’s going to be a long nine months.
****
Mason
I ask Blake if he’s ready, he nods his head. Fuck, my stomach is doing flip flops. I hope she says yes. Blake’s nervous too, I can tell. He’s gone all quiet and keeps opening and closing the box in his hand.
“Let’s do this buddy,” I say as I reach for his hand. He looks up at me with a huge smile on his face. Shit, if this doesn’t go well I don’t know what I’ll do.
We head down the hall towards the lounge room. Jacinta’s busy in the kitchen and doesn’t even notice us pass.
Once we get into position I smile down at Blake. “You ready?” He nods again. I extend my hand and he fist pumps me.
“Good luck dad,” he says. I ruffle his hair. I hope I don’t need luck, but I’ll fucking take it just in case.
“Babe, can you come in here for a minute?” I call out. Fuck, my hands are shaking.
Blake’s standing next to me when she walks into the room. She looks at me and then down at Blake before gracing us with a smile.
“What’s going on?” she asks as she closes the distance between us. “You two look like you’re up to no good.” Her comment makes me chuckle. I take a deep breath before getting down on one knee. Jacinta’s hand covers her mouth as tears fill her eyes. Shit, is that a good sign or a bad one? I have no fucking idea. I put my hand over my heart as I begin to speak.
****
Jacinta
When he gets down on one knee my heart skips a beat. Instantly tears rise to my eyes.
“I didn’t believe in love at first sight until this fiery little spitfire ran into me outside the gym,” he says. We smile at each other. “You have brought so much happiness into our lives, neither of us could imagine our lives without you in it. I love you so much babe. So much.” He opens the small black box in his trembling hand, holding it out towards me. “Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”
Before I get a chance to answer him, Blake looks up at his father. “Now dad?” he asks and Mason nods. He gets down on one knee like Mason. The tears are running down my face now. He puts his little hand over his heart, just like his dad did. He’s so damn adorable.
“Jazzi,” he says in his sweet voice, “I think I have loved you since the first day I met you, when you made me chocolate chip cookies and beat me on the X-box.” Mason and I both laugh at his comment. “I really, really want you to be part of our family.” I smile at him. He opens the box he’s holding and holds it out. It’s similar to Mason’s one but a little larger. Inside is a gold heart locket on a chain. “Will you be my mummy?” he asks.
I lunge forward and fall down to my knees, pulling my boys into a crushing embrace. “I love you both so much,” I cry. “I’d like nothing more than to be part of your family. It would make me so happy.”
They both put their arms around me. “I love you so much Red,” Mason whispers in my ear, as he tightens his grip on me. “I love you too mummy,” Blake adds. We all shed a few tears. I couldn’t be happier. My two boys are my life. They mean everything to me. I can’t wait for this
new addition to come along. Completing our little family.
EPILO
GUE
Nine months later
Mason
I’ve hardly slept all fucking week. I miss not having her beside me. She’s part of me now. Going to sleep and waking up with her not here, is the worst feeling ever. I feel so lost without her.
Over the past year my life has changed so much. I never dreamt life could be this good. I’m so fucking happy. I have the woman of my dreams, my soul mate, by my side and my boys. I’m one lucky bastard.
I look over at the clock on my bedside table. It’s just after 6:00 a.m. Fuck. I can’t even call her. What if she’s still asleep? She needs her rest. I know the boys have been waking up at different times throughout the night. I wish they would’ve let me stay with her. The fuckers have sent me home every night for the past five days.
I suppose Blake needed me here with him anyway. Jacinta’s parents have come down from Melbourne and are staying with us. I know they would’ve looked after Blake for me, but he misses his mummy, so having me here helps I guess.
I reach across and grab my phone off the bedside table. At least I can send her a text, asking her to call as soon as she wakes up. I need to hear her voice.
Call me when you wake up babe. I miss you. x
A few seconds later my phone rings. It’s her. I smile. “Hey babe,” I say when I answer it.
“Morning. I miss you,” she says. She sounds like she just woke up. Her voice is sexy as fuck first thing in the morning. I feel my cock twitch just hearing it. “The doctor will be here shortly. The nurse said I may be able to come home today.”
“Fuck, I hope so. I can’t sleep one more night without you beside me.”
“Same.”
“How are my boys? I hope they didn’t keep you up all night again.”
Five days ago, Jacinta gave birth to our sons. Twins. Can you believe it? I knew I had super fucking sperm, but twins? Even I couldn’t believe it. She had to have a caesarean because she’s so tiny. Side on, by the end of the pregnancy, the poor thing was nearly as wide as she was tall.
