by Alice Sharpe
He laughed, then he sat down on the bed and fooled with the alarm on his phone. She glanced at him again, rather taken aback by all the muscles in his chest and the hypnotizing shape of his well-formed arms. Was he trying to prove something by parading all that male virility so close she could touch—
Wait a second, just stop. Since when had things like rippling muscles and toned abs intimidated her? She wasn’t even interested in that kind of thing. A person’s mind was the true seat of sensuality.
Really? her subconscious chided. What about Danny’s mind did you find so terribly stimulating?
That was a tricky one. In fact, she’d be hard-pressed to truly define him. In ways, he’d seemed one faceted, but then again, she’d known him only a few weeks. What he might have lacked in original thought, she decided, he made up for in other endearing qualities. Like the way they always laughed at the same things. Really, they never even disagreed let alone argued.
Until this morning.
In her head, she heard him tell her mother that he found Sophie’s enthusiasm about her students and her job “cute.”
“Cute” sat heavy in her heart.
“Looks like you’re working away on those deep thoughts,” Jack said as he checked his phone messages.
“Any word?” she asked, ignoring his remark.
“Just work-related stuff, nothing from Sabrina. So, what were you thinking about?”
“Danny.”
He put the phone aside. “Go on. This sounds interesting.”
She wished she knew Jack well enough to ask him to put on a T-shirt. His chest with its fine sprinkling of dark hair was distracting. And where did those square shoulders come from? Did he spend half his life in a gym?
Just as though he read her mind—or perhaps her stare—he got up and snatched a forest green T-shirt out of his suitcase, pulled it over his head and returned to his bed. It kind of helped. “You were going to tell me about your Danny,” he said with an encouraging smile.
“Not my Danny, not anymore,” she said and sat down on the edge of her mattress facing him, making sure their knees didn’t touch. They were very close nonetheless, something that might have bothered her more if his comment hadn’t driven home the fact that she’d blown it with Danny. He was gone by now, taking her opportunity for marriage and family with him. This hadn’t bothered her hours before, but now, as the dark outside the hotel window pressed against the window glass, she suddenly felt adrift.
Instead of telling Jack little or nothing as she had planned, she found herself spilling her guts and, by voicing the events of the morning, reliving them. He didn’t say a word as she spoke, and when she was finished she met his gaze. “Do you think I was unfair to him?”
He responded at once. “You unfair to him? Hardly. I think Danny has to take the heat for this mess. The guy sounds...odd.”
She felt a sudden wave of defensiveness for Danny. After all, Jack had heard only her side of the story and as she’d retold it, her own complicity in what happened is what struck her. “I don’t know if that’s a fair observation,” she said.
“Tell me how you met.”
She smiled. “It was like a movie in a way, you know, guy trying to figure out what kind of apple to choose, girl—who happened to be a big fan of apples—offering advice. He was very sweet. He explained his company had sent him to Portland for a few weeks and admitted he was lonely. He asked me out to dinner and when I said yes he seemed so pleased. I was craving Italian food. Turns out it was his favorite, too. It was just so—”
“Suspicious?” he said.
She frowned. “Cynic. I thought it was exciting. He asked my opinion about things and listened to my answers—that’s a very engaging thing for a guy to do. And he’s super kind to my mother. She isn’t exactly easy to get along with. She and I—well, we’re like oil and water. It would be a war zone if I hadn’t learned not to react to every little thing. Anyway, back to Danny. His marriage proposal came with a ready-made honeymoon, a big house one block over for us to live in and financial aid for my mother in the form of live-in help so she can stay in her own house. And he even quit his job with a prestigious law firm up in Seattle to relocate to Portland. That’s pretty amazing, right? I don’t know why it hit me so hard this morning.”
“Then I stand corrected,” Jack said. “The guy sounds like a prize. Why did you turn him down?”
“It was just so unexpected. And it was hard thinking straight with my mother butting in all the time.”
“Why was she there again?”
“She lives with me, or I live with her. It was her and Dad’s house and then she lost it after he died. I bought it back when I finished college and started teaching. She has a few health issues that aren’t as bad as she thinks they are, but, well, the truth is, she can’t afford to live on her own and I can’t afford separate housing for her.”
“Sounds like you and she have an...uneasy... relationship,” he said.
She started to protest but nodded instead. “Yeah, it is. I’m a disappointment.”
He looked incredulous. “What?”
She shrugged one shoulder. “I’m not big enough, you know?”
“Physically, you’re perfect so what does that mean?”
She fought the moment of pleasure his compliment created. “I’m not smart enough or funny enough or ambitious enough or... You know what I mean. I understand most of her bitterness comes from Dad dying so young and all the burdens of raising a kid falling on her shoulders. He left Mom with few resources.”
“Sounds as if you’ve been trying to make things up to her since then. How old were you when he died?”
“Eleven. He was the one who wanted children. Mom really didn’t, she was happy with just the two of them, but he talked her into it. My birth caused all sorts of physical issues for her.”
“How do you know all this?”
“She told me.”
He stared at her for a long minute, the blue of his eyes filling her whole head. “Sophie, what kind of parent tells their child they didn’t want them?”
Sophie blinked. She couldn’t think of a word to say. Out of loyalty at the very least, she should defend her mom, but words just escaped her.
“Does Danny know about this?” Jack asked.
She swallowed and, for the second time that day, that stone-like feeling started to creep up her legs toward her heart. She stood abruptly and glanced longingly at the door. She was running out of safe havens. Taking a deep breath, she slowly sat back down. “I think it’s kind of hard to miss,” she admitted.
“Then why did he propose in front of her?”
“I wondered that, too. I don’t know.”
“Why didn’t he ask you to step outside?”
She gestured toward the window, through which nothing could be seen. “It was cold and pouring down rain.”
“Trust me,” he said softly. “If I loved a woman enough to ask her to share the rest of my life and I knew someone intimidated her, I would stand in a blizzard to talk to her in private. The only reason I would do it right there in front of that person—” He stopped short. “Well, what do I know?”
“Finish what you were going to say.”
“I’ve said enough,” he mumbled. “Only, if this guy is such a dandy listener, then how did he so totally misread your level of commitment?”
“I must have misled him.”
“You seem pretty straightforward to me,” he said.
“I’m not myself today,” she mumbled.
“Maybe you are yourself today.”
“What does that mean?”
“Maybe today you got pushed over your own personal edge of tolerance. Maybe today you finally got tired of never being heard.”
Once again his blue gaze filled her vision. She rubbed her forehead until it faded away.
&n
bsp; “I’m sorry,” Jack said into the continuing silence. His voice turned introspective as he added, “I have no right to counsel anyone on romance and love.”
Anxious for a chance to focus the spotlight elsewhere, she perked up. “That’s a provocative sentence. Care to explain it?”
“No, I do not.” He opened the bed and got under the covers. “I’m ready to put an end to this day. How about you?”
“Please.”
She lay there in the dark, very aware of Jack just a few feet away, listening to him breathe. It was a nice, steady, reassuring noise, and as her mind drifted she admitted that although his comments and questions had been probing and painful, she’d enjoyed talking to him. Was there any truth in what he said?
Eventually her thoughts circled back to Danny and she recalled the times she’d basked in his compliments. Now, in retrospect, she’d been like a thirsty flower aching for water. She sometimes found children like this in her classroom and her heart always went out to them. Was that partially because she recognized their need in herself?
Man, that was embarrassing but she could feel the truth lurking in there somewhere. If Danny had seen her only as an easy way to fill a few idle hours, then why quit his job and move, why buy a house, why ask her to marry him?
What if he truly did love her? What if he’d just gotten heavy-handed with the marriage stuff and just wanted to share the moment with her mother, who, face it, was an awfully big part of Sophie’s life. She knew he’d tried to call several times today, she’d seen his name on her screen every time she looked... What if she’d just told him she needed a few days to think instead of running away? What if she’d had a backbone and insisted she and Danny go talk in the kitchen? Why was it his problem to figure out her needs?
What had she done?
If she’d been alone in the room, she would have switched on the light, gotten dressed and driven home. She suddenly had no idea what she was doing here.
And then she remembered Sabrina. Sabrina, missing. Sabrina absent from this room without explanation, drawn by someone or something she couldn’t ignore. Sophie knew in a moment of insight only two things could do that. Love...or fear. Jack was adamant that his friend would not be behind anything that would harm Sabrina, and she would have to accept he knew what he was talking about. But what if Sabrina had called her husband for comfort? Maybe Buzz knew where she’d gone.
Fear was different. Fear could be generated by something hidden, something Sabrina might not have confessed to her husband or his best friend, a secret, something that caught up with her.
Regardless of anything else, where was Sabrina right now? Sophie fell asleep saying a silent prayer that wherever she was it was because she wanted to be there and she was safe.
It was impossible to tell how much time had elapsed when a voice woke her from her sleep. She sat up immediately, her heart in her throat, and scanned the room. “Sabrina?” she said and was met by nothing but silence. A line of light shone under the door but the rest of the room was dark and still. And then she heard the voice again, and realized it came from Jack.
“Lisa,” he moaned, and then, “No!” uttered with a gut-wrenching sob that sent chills washing through Sophie’s body.
“No, no,” he whispered again, pain dripping from his voice like blood from a wounded animal.
Sophie lay frozen, not sure what to do. As the sound of tossing and turning continued, she slipped out of bed and approached his dark shape. He was mumbling now, his head turning from side to side. She sat down beside him and he immediately clutched her wrist.
“It’s okay,” she said in a calm voice. “Everything’s fine. You’re safe.”
His grip didn’t loosen and his body stayed rigid. She had the feeling he was like a soldier in a trench, lying in wait, uncertain what was coming but geared up to annihilate it in order to stay alive.
She tried to reach the light switch on the lamp but it was just out of reach. The shifting of her body weight made his grip tighten.
“Jack,” she said. “It’s me, Sophie, remember? We met earlier today, here in Seaport. I’m the girl with the purple streak in my hair.”
For the first time, his fingers relaxed, but he still didn’t let go. She took a deep breath and continued prattling on about nothing as she adjusted herself on the bed next to him, propped up on his spare pillow, half sitting with her legs stretched out in front of her. She stroked his hair without considering whether or not it was too personal. He was in pain, that much was clear.
When his restlessness stopped and his breathing returned to normal, she slowly withdrew her hand, but when she shifted her weight to stand, his arm slipped over her legs and his head fell against her hip. Trapped!
But not uncomfortable.
She tugged on a corner of the blanket to get a little coverage, then settled down, her intention to wait until he started snoring and then disengage herself. It seemed like second nature to continue stroking his fine hair as she leaned back and closed her eyes.
Who was Lisa and what in the world had happened to her?
Chapter Four
Jack awoke without the help of his phone alarm. He always did and wasn’t even sure why he still bothered to set it except for some superstitious feeling that if he didn’t, that would be the one time his internal alarm took a hike.
As he became aware that sunlight actually peeked through the gap in the drapes, he also figured out his pillow was the lap of the woman slumped in bed beside him.
He recalled Sophie’s coming to him last night. He’d had a nightmare about Lisa, one so real the dream had crossed into reality. He could remember holding Sophie’s hand very tight to keep from slipping back into the void. Her voice had been like a lantern in a lighthouse illuminating a path back to safety. He’d wanted her to keep talking forever.
He hoisted himself up on one elbow and looked at her. A lock of purple hair fell over her right eye. In repose, she looked impossibly young, and when he thought back to the things she’d revealed about her boyfriend and her mother, the very people who seemed to form the core of her support system, he felt anger pump in his veins.
As he watched, she scrunched up her nose and yawned and then her eyes flew open.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Hmm—”
“Looks like we have a break in the rain.”
“Oh, Lord,” she groaned. “Save me from morning people.”
Her voice brought him firmly back to the here and now. He scooted off the bed and grabbed his phone, hoping against hope that there would be a message from Sabrina. Sophie’s sudden stillness announced her awareness of this possibility, as well. He shook his head. “Not a word. That’s it. I’m driving to Astoria.”
“That’s where she lives.”
“It is. I can’t sit around here anymore. Probably should have left last night.”
She popped to her feet. “I’ll take the first shower,” she said. “I take short ones. Saves water, you know. That’ll give me a chance to dry my hair while you take yours.”
“I think—”
“You’re not going to argue about this, are you?” she interrupted. “Look, I’ll follow your car in mine unless you want to try to go without me, in which case I’ll find my own way.”
“I’ll order breakfast,” he said. He hadn’t intended to talk her out of it. Instead, he’d been about to agree that until they identified this bozo intent on harming Sabrina, Sophie should stay where he could protect her, but there really wasn’t any point in saying that now. Nor would he mention his gut feeling that his, Sophie’s and Sabrina’s destinies were all tied together in some cosmic knot.
He made the rest of his usual calls—Sabrina’s house to leave yet another message on the land phone they still kept for emergencies; the police who had nothing to report; the local hospital; the front desk; valet parking. Nothing. The
woman was just flat out not here.
Sophie came back in the room five minutes later, still wearing his pajama top, her hair wrapped up in a towel. He tore his gaze away from her shapely bare legs and her very pretty heart-shaped face. How that very face on Sabrina could seem remote and collected and yet look so vivid and irresistible on Sophie was a mystery to him.
“Breakfast is on the way,” he said, and strode past her into the bathroom, a change of clothes in his hands. He turned at the door. “Everything in my suitcase will swim on you but you’re welcome to borrow what you need.”
* * *
SOPHIE SPENT SEVERAL minutes blow-drying her new hair. She loved the darker brown; finally the shade enhanced her skin. She loved the chic bounce of the shorter cut and the new longish bangs. It was the purple streak that jumped out at her but she could recall telling the hairdresser to do what she wanted, just as long as it was different. She couldn’t deny the woman’s panache and Sophie had to admit that life had certainly gotten more interesting since making the change.
Last night, she’d felt trapped in a web of her own making, a web created by the endless second-guessing that inevitably occurred as a postscript to any act of defiance no matter how small or even justified. Equilibrium had returned with the light of day, and this morning when she thought of going back to Danny it was to apologize for bolting, to return his ring and offer support as he figured out what to do about a honeymoon they wouldn’t take, a house they wouldn’t live in and a job he’d quit on what had to be a whim.
But right now, Sabrina came first. Where was she?
A knock on the door sounded at the same time the water went off in the bathroom. Sophie stood between the two doors, half-dressed. She ran to the door but without opening hollered, “Yes?”
“Room service.”
“Please leave the tray,” she said, and ran back to the pile of clothes on a chair to pull on yesterday’s leggings and T-shirt before Jack caught her seminude. His open suitcase beckoned her. She looked through his neatly folded belongings until her fingers grazed the cloud-soft fibers of cashmere. She pulled out a sweater the color of a summer sky and tugged it over her head, where it slid down her body to midthigh. Cozy but oversize on her, she bet it molded Jack’s arms and torso and highlighted his eyes. This was the kind of sweater a woman might buy for her lover, and with that thought, last night’s anguished call for Lisa rang in her ears.
