by Lois Richer
“I wish I could figure out what’s upsetting her so. She’s never been a particularly happy person, but this—” Kelly shook her head then frowned at Sam. “Was she as bad before I came?”
The answer was clear from the dour look he gave her, but all Sam said was, “She’s had a rough time. First your dad’s diagnosis, then losing Marina, selling her home. She just needs space and some time to settle in to her new life. Now we’d better get these two to bed so they can get up for church tomorrow morning.”
“You’re going to church?” Kelly wasn’t sure why, but she’d somehow assumed it was the last place he’d go, that he’d made an exception because of the funeral but—
“Jake and Marina made sure the kids went to Sunday school every week. They all sat together for the morning service.” His green eyes grew dark and shadowed. “My brother was adamant about raising his kids in the faith he cherished. I have to honor that.”
“Even though you don’t believe the same?” Kelly waited curiously for his response.
“Oh, I believe in God.” Sam crossed his arms over his chest, his chin thrusting out as he spoke. “I believe He’s in control and He can do whatever He wants. Where it falls apart for me is that He doesn’t use His power to stop horrible things from happening. And He could.”
Then, as if Sam didn’t want to discuss it anymore, he leaned forward and brushed his hand against Sadie’s cheek. Kelly sat listening and watching as he tenderly roused the little girl just enough to coax her into his arms then carried her to her room. Kelly could have done the same for Emma. Instead, she stayed where she was and waited for Sam’s return, profoundly moved by his heartfelt affection for the twins. His actions only affirmed what she’d decided the first day she’d arrived at the Triple D.
The children belonged with Sam. He loved them so much, was even willing to set aside his beliefs to ensure they had the spiritual upbringing their parents wanted. He was a born father. He should have these children for his own, no question.
“I’m glad you insisted they put on their pajamas before the movie,” he said when he returned the second time. “They fell back to sleep right away.”
“Good.” Kelly rose and began gathering the cocoa and popcorn dishes until Sam’s hand closed over hers, stopping her. Stomach shivering from the contact, she drew back as she looked at him questioningly.
“Go to bed, Kelly. Morning comes early for you,” he said in the same fond voice he’d used with the girls. He gently freed the dishes from her grip.
“You should talk. You were up awfully early yourself.” She trailed behind him into the kitchen. “You’re running the ranch as well as doing a lot of stuff here, too. I wish you’d tell me what else I could do to help. I’m here to carry part of the load with you, Sam, but I can’t unless you tell me what else I should be doing.”
“What else?” Having dried his hands on the dish towel, he tossed it to the counter and turned to face her, grinning as he shook his head. “Kelly, you’ve already taken on far more than I ever intended, including all the cooking, and I want you to know I appreciate it.”
“Looking after three kids, one of whom naps twice a day, isn’t that hard.” How could anyone resist Sam’s smile?
“I know exactly how hard it is, Kelly,” he said. “Your sister often shared how tired she was when the twins’ mischief wore her down, never mind the added chores of cleaning and feeding extra people. I know it’s not easy, but if it makes you feel better,” he said, amusement threading his words, “I’ll let you know when I need more help with the ranch.”
When, she noted. Not if. Meaning he was expecting some turbulent times ahead?
“You do that.” Kelly held his gaze to show him she was serious. “I may only be here for six months and I’m clueless at ranching, but I could hold a calf or something if you need it.”
“Thank you,” he said, lips twitching.
“I mean it,” Kelly insisted. “I only make plain food, and I’m sure I’m nowhere near as good at mothering as Marina was, but I want to do everything I can to keep this place a home where the kids still feel loved and safe.”
“You’re already doing that.” Sam’s voice turned low, introspective. “Marina would be proud of you.”
“As Jake would be of you,” she returned, glimpsing a flicker of doubt cross his face. “It’s true. I’m sure he knew he couldn’t have chosen a better dad for his kids.”
Sam’s smile stretched even wider. Kelly caught her breath and then stopped breathing altogether when his hand cupped her cheek.
“You’re a very sweet woman, Kelly Krause. Thank you. For everything.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips against her cheek in a gentle kiss. “Now go to bed. I’ll turn out the lights and lock up as I leave. Good night.”
“Good night, Sam.” Dazed by his touch, Kelly glided upstairs to check on the twins, praying that her parents were asleep and her mother wouldn’t hear the creak of the top stair and come to investigate.
But once Kelly was lying in her own bed, she couldn’t sleep. After half an hour of tossing, she finally rose, checked on the kids again then bundled up in an old bathrobe of Marina’s and sat on her window seat, where she could look out over the Triple D.
The moon rose full and bright, casting a brilliant glow across the snow, illuminating the dark stands of evergreens, cattle scattered over the sloping hills and the tiny valley where hopefully a stream would soon melt and flow. She tried to fix the image in her mind so that when she got a free moment, she could start transferring it to one of the fabric pictures she loved to create.
A flicker of motion in front of the log house across the yard nudged her back to awareness. Sam emerged clad in his thick sheepskin coat. He wore his brown Stetson tilted at the familiar jaunty angle as he strode to the barn, where she knew some of the newest calves had been moved inside after Sam had found recent signs of a wolf pack prowling nearby.
Sam opened the barn door and disappeared inside. Kelly didn’t know how much time elapsed. She was too busy remembering his face when he’d talked about God not doing anything to stop bad things from happening.
“Sam loves you,” she whispered to the heavenly Father on whom she’d learned to depend. “He’s just hurt and confused and worried about losing the kids. Please help me help him protect and care for them. Please be there for him. And please—” This part was so hard to say. “Keep me immune to him. But if it’s Your will, please let him keep the twins as Jake and Marina wanted.”
Keeping in God’s will—that was her goal. Sleep beckoned. Kelly smothered a yawn and was about to rise when Sam emerged from the barn and trudged back to the little log house she’d learned he built himself and now housed him and his parents. He paused on the doorstep, turned and surveyed Jake and Marina’s house, where she was staying, his eyes resting on it, as if to reassure himself that the kids were still peacefully sleeping, that there was nothing more he could do for them tonight. Kelly wished she could see his face, discern what he was thinking. But then he opened his front door and disappeared inside. Dear Sam, making sure everything was right in the world.
Grateful for his strength and protection, Kelly climbed into her bed. But before she closed her eyes to sleep, she offered one last prayer.
“Please, Lord, please keep us just friends. I know Your will for me doesn’t include a husband and family. I’ve learned that the hard way. So let me be content doing what I can to help Sam and the kids and help me be strong when it’s time to go.”
By contradiction, Kelly’s dreams that night included her and Sam and the kids, laughing and playing in the snow. But when her eyes met his, it didn’t seem to Kelly that they were just friends, not in her dream anyway.
Chapter Five
Kelly enjoyed attending Sunday service with Sam and the kids. She wasn’t used to being among people who knew so much about he
r personally, but there was no way to worship incognito in the Buffalo Gap congregation when everyone greeted her by name. Funny thing was, Kelly liked the sense of camaraderie their friendliness offered. She enjoyed the lesson on giving, but not as much as she liked the way Sam’s shoulder rubbed against hers as they sat beside each other in the fireside room.
Maybe liked it too much?
When Sunday school concluded, Sam left to bring the twins from their classroom back to the sanctuary. Having wondered how they’d fare without their parents, Kelly heaved a sigh of relief at the happy smiles wreathing their faces as they took their place on the pew beside her. Sam sat next to Kelly then lifted Jacob Samuel from her arms, his shoulder rubbing hers as he settled the child on his knee. On the other side of the twins, Sam’s parents took their place. Kelly scanned the room and saw her parents seated at the back of the sanctuary.
She knew from the commiserating looks sent their way that this was Jake and Marina’s family pew, and for a few moments sadness threatened to overwhelm her until she realized that Jake and Marina were worshipping with God, in His very presence.
This service felt different than the ones Kelly usually attended on the ship. For one thing, during the prelude people stopped by, smiled at her, spoke with Sam or his parents and offered fond words for the kids.
Sam didn’t have to say or do anything for Kelly to know he’d have preferred to be anywhere but in this church, just as no one had to explain to her that his reasons had to do with his past and the fiancée he still mourned. Kelly knew Naomi must have been a very special woman, because Sam clearly still loved her. Perhaps that was why her loss affected him so deeply.
The song leader opened the service with a lively chorus. As the congregation rose and joined in the hymn singing, as they bowed their heads for prayer then listened to the visiting missionary’s stories, Kelly felt a strong reassurance that God was here, waiting to lead her through this uncharted territory as He had so many times before. By the time the meeting concluded, she felt comforted and able to leave refreshed.
“You’re Kelly, right?” A woman about her own age with short coppery hair and green eyes that danced with fun stopped her in the foyer. She thrust out a hand and grinned. “I’m Sheena Parks.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” Kelly said as she shook the diminutive woman’s hand.
“It’s nicer to meet you.” Sheena chuckled at Kelly’s surprised look. “Marina once told me that you’re a port consultant with a cruise line.”
Kelly nodded.
“So you’ve traveled a lot.” Sheena waited for her nod. “I was wondering if you might be willing to come and talk to me about it. Oh, I should have said I run the local travel agency. I’ve got some clients who want to visit destinations I don’t know very well. I usually like to offer tips and suggestions to my customers, but I don’t have any for these places. I hoped you might have some suggestions for me.”
“Sure, though I don’t know if I’ll be much help,” Kelly said, noting that Sam was busy helping the twins into their coats. “Where do they want to go?”
“Greece and Australia.” Sheena arched one coppery eyebrow. “You’ve been to both, right?”
“Many times.” Kelly liked this woman. It could be fun to share stories about her travels, but she sensed Sam was impatient to get away so she asked for Sheena’s phone number. “I’m mostly tied up with the kids but maybe I could give you a call if I have some free time.”
“Great. You could bring the kids to my office,” Sheena said with a glance at Sam and the waiting children. “I have a raft of toys in an area where they can play to their hearts’ content.” She handed Kelly a business card. “Call anytime. I’d love to get together. See you.” She lifted a hand then hurried away to speak to someone else.
“Take a deep breath,” Sam advised in an amused voice from behind her. Kelly turned, found him nearer than she’d expected. “Talking to Sheena’s a bit like contact with a tornado. Are you ready to leave?”
“Just have to get my coat. Oh,” she said as Sam held it, waiting for her to slide her arms inside. “Thank you. I’ll get Jacob Samuel from your mom and then we can go.”
She made a game of racing the twins to the truck, which thankfully was running and toasty warm inside. On the ride home, Sadie informed Emma that they’d need Sam’s help to build their planned snow fort.
“It’s too cold to play outside this afternoon,” Sam interjected. “You’ll have to think up some indoor games.” Silence followed his words, then a rush of whispering began that lasted until they pulled up in front of the ranch house.
Across the yard at Sam’s house, Kelly noticed that his parents’ car hadn’t returned.
“They always go out for Sunday brunch with friends,” he told her. “They won’t be back for a while.”
“We’ll build a fort with Grannybell’s quilt,” Sadie told him as she snapped off her seat belt and raced inside.
“I’m still waiting for that famous Alberta chinook, Sam.” Kelly shivered as she hurried to the door of Marina’s house, glad for Sam’s helping hand under her arm as they crossed the slippery parts of the path. With his other hand Sam snuggled Jacob Samuel’s head into his chest to protect his delicate face from the bitter wind.
“Waiting is what we do here. Don’t you know this is next year country?” Sam chuckled at her moue of disgust and recited, “Next year the herds will be bigger. Next year the crops will be better. Next year we’ll have more money in the bank. That’s the rancher’s song. Anybody who’s got half a brain would give up ranching for the oil patch.”
“Really?’ She paused at the door and waved a hand to encompass the snow-covered rolling hills around them. “You’d rather look at oil wells than this?”
“Nah.” He stepped past her with a grin. Inside the porch he moved his hand so Jacob Samuel could see. “But I’d sure like to have the paychecks.”
“The ranch isn’t doing well?” Kelly hadn’t given finances a thought, but now she wondered...
“Lose that scared look, Kelly,” Sam ordered. “The Triple D is fine, but I’ve never met a rancher yet who didn’t want more money in the bank to fall back on in lean times.” He sniffed. “Something smells amazing. I’m starved.”
“Nothing new there,” she said, tongue in cheek. Once she’d shed her own outerwear, she began to free Jacob Samuel from his snowsuit. “It’s chili in the slow cooker. Want to make a salad?”
“Me?” Sam’s hands froze on the zipper of his jacket. Something that looked a lot like fear crept across his face. He tugged the zipper back up. “Maybe I should—”
“Your cows are fine,” Kelly said firmly, suppressing her amusement. “Take off your jacket and I’ll give you directions while I ice the cake I made this morning.”
“Cake?” Sam needed only a second to think that over. “Okay.” He took off his jacket and rubbed his hands. “But maybe I should ice the cake.”
“You know how to make icing?” Kelly asked, keeping her face blank.
“Salad it is. Which I’m guessing means lettuce?” He set the baby in his high chair then opened the fridge door and peered inside for what seemed like ages to Kelly.
She reached past him, removed the head of lettuce from the crisper and set it on the counter. “Green onions, celery, tomatoes, too. In the other drawer,” she said. “On the bottom.”
Irritated when he didn’t immediately select the items but determined not to rescue him, she pulled out the mixer and assembled her ingredients for icing. He finally closed the fridge door.
“Now what?” Sam asked.
“I prewashed all the ingredients. You could start by cutting up the celery,” she suggested then added, “In small pieces,” when he pulled out the biggest knife in the block.
It seemed to Kelly that it took forever for Sam to make his salad. She finish
ed icing her cake, set the table, boiled the kettle for tea and added a few more spices to her chili. There was even time to chat with her mom as she shed her coat before he pronounced his creation finished. Kelly offered praise for his work, though there was enough salad for twenty people.
Once everyone was seated at the table, Kelly’s father insisted they hold hands while he said grace. Kelly slid her hand into Sam’s, quashing the burst of sensation that tickled up her arm and reminding herself she was too old for crushes. That didn’t stop her from stealing several glances at him all through the meal.
“Delicious.” Sam savored his third helping of chili with gusto. “It sure goes well with my salad, which, by the way, is also amazing.”
“It certainly is large enough for another meal or two,” Arabella said then frowned. “I didn’t know you could cook, Kelly. You never did much at home.”
“Didn’t want to compete with a pro, Mom,” Kelly said and smiled. “Your meals were always gourmet. I hesitated to offer my feeble efforts.”
“I wish you would have,” Arabella said. “I’d have gladly relinquished my position. I never enjoyed cooking.”
“But you spent hours perfecting recipes.” Kelly stared at her, shocked by her confession.
“Because that’s what my friends did.” Arabella sipped her tea. “I much preferred to work on my quilts, but that wasn’t popular back then.”
So she’d made herself spend hours in the kitchen? Kelly needed time to process that information.
“It’s quite good chili,” Arabella complimented. “Not like Marina’s. She threw in anything at hand. She didn’t care for cooking, either.”
“She made some delicious meals,” Sam defended.
“Yes.” Arabella nodded, her face thoughtful. “But my daughter was always far happier with her baby boy and her cameras than she was in the kitchen.” Her smile faded and she stared at her plate.
