by Eden Summers
“Come on,” he growled. “This is more uncomfortable for me than it is for you.”
His discomfort brought a brief smile to her lips. “You’re a confusing man, Bryan.”
He rolled his eyes and stepped forward, engulfing her in a hug. For a long time, they simply held each other, her head on his shoulder, his arms around her back.
“I’ve always admired T.J.,” he murmured into her hair. “He puts himself last, no matter what the situation. And he’s far too kind for his own good. He’d rather push you away and torture himself in the process than expose you to something hurtful. I envy his selflessness.”
Cassie pushed back from Brute’s chest and looked him in the eye. “Right now, I loathe it.”
“Understandable.” He inclined his head. “But even though he’s acting this way, deep down I think he’d want you to know your pain is killing him.”
“I thought you didn’t get involved in personal matters.” She gave a halfhearted grin, unable to keep it plastered on her face for longer than a few seconds.
“I guess I’m a sucker for a damsel in distress.”
“No.” She shook her head, sliding from his embrace. “You’ve got a big heart. You’re just too afraid to show it.”
“Nah. I really don’t.” He glanced toward the bar, denying her his gaze. “If you leave out the back door, I’ll lock it behind you.”
She wanted to laugh at the abrupt change in conversation. Instead, she thumped his shoulder with her purse, lightening the mood. “I’ll see you around, big guy.”
He nodded, his features returning to their emotionless state. “Look after yourself.”
“Will do.” She headed for the staircase leading to the parking lot, ignoring the impending breakdown she could feel pressing on her shoulders. The time had come to move on. No more second-guessing. No more trying to fight an unidentifiable opponent. Her marriage was over. And after tonight, she was determined to move on.
T.J. leaned against the wall beside the upstairs entrance to the Vault, waiting for Brute to return. As soon as the door opened, he straightened, watching as his business partner strode for the bar.
“Is she gone?” His voice echoed through the empty room, taunting him.
“Yep.” Brute’s tone was too blasé for T.J.’s liking. “For good.”
Fuck. He ran a hand over his face and tilted his head to the ceiling. “Is she okay?”
“You don’t want to hear how she is.” Brute continued across the dance floor, heading for Shay and Leo who stood behind the bar.
“Yeah, I do.” T.J. pushed off the wall. “Tell me.”
Brute swung around. “She’s fucked. Is that what you want to hear?” He threw his hands up in the air and let them drop to his sides. “You’ve broken her. She’s done. Gone. Congratulations.”
“Jesus,” Shay whispered.
“You stay the fuck out of this.” T.J. stormed for the bar, pointing a threatening finger in her direction as his mental stability splintered. “It’s your fault she was here.”
Shay balked at his vicious tone. “What—”
“Have I disrespected you in some way? Was this retaliation for something I’ve done? Or were you just being a heartless, nosy bitch, thinking you knew better because I’m merely a male and have no clue what it’s like to feel?”
The words flowed from his mouth like he was stuck in an out-of-body experience. They were his thoughts that never should’ve been spoken. His torment that should’ve remained his own.
Her mouth opened, closed. She glanced to her left, to Leo at her side, before returning to face him. “It was neither. I—”
“You encouraged her to come tonight, didn’t you?”
“I…I…” Her shoulders fell and she gave a brief nod. “I know you love her. I thought the two of you could work things out if you spent some time together.”
“Fucking hell, Shay,” Brute muttered.
“It’s not her fault.” Leo came around the bar. “Her heart was in the right place. She was only trying to help.”
“Well, she didn’t. She made me spit in the face of my marriage. And I want to know what the fuck you plan to do about it. She can’t work here anymore. I want her gone.”
“That’s the pain talking,” Leo growled. “Shay’s far more than an employee to us, and you know it.”
T.J. raised his chin, refusing to agree.
“Look, you’re pissed. We know that.” Brute strode around the back of the bar and pulled a can of Scotch and dry from the fridge. “But Cass is out of your hair now. She’s moving on. You’ve got what you wanted. Don’t go blaming anyone else for something you put into motion.”
T.J. clenched his jaw, breathing heavily through his nose in an effort to keep the hateful words in his chest. It was his fault. He was to blame.
“What was I meant to do?” he asked. “I can’t tell her the truth. It will kill her.”
“What is the truth, T.J.?” Shay asked.
Leo winced and shook his head, but the silent protest wasn’t enough to stop the words that inched up T.J.’s throat. “Six months ago, the man who assaulted her was charged with a brutal rape. The woman almost died.”
Shay gasped. “Cassie doesn’t know?”
“No,” he grated. “And I don’t plan on telling her either. She would blame herself when it isn’t her fault.”
It was his.
If only he hadn’t taken her to that sex club. If only he would’ve listened to his gut and not allowed her to walk from his side to use the bathroom. She never would’ve been assaulted and he wouldn’t have the guilt of two tortured women weighing down his shoulders.
“Then don’t tell her…but you can’t divorce her because of this either,” Shay begged.
“So I should hide it from her for the rest of my life?” He glared. “I love her, Shay. I’d do anything for her. But what I won’t do is create a marriage based on lies. She deserves more than me. She deserves more than a man who would put her in that sort of position.”
He’d only found out about the charges because he’d employed an investigator to do some digging. Almost six months to the day after that night in the club, he’d received an email with images attached. A twenty-six-year-old, shy and beautiful, had been dragged into a car. She hadn’t stood a chance.
“Cassie currently thinks this divorce is hard,” he continued. “If she found out what this man could’ve done to her, or what could’ve been avoided if only we’d gone to the police, she won’t recover. I can’t do that to her.”
He ground his teeth together and focused a lethal stare on Shay. “And I won’t allow you to shove your nose into our business and risk her finding out just so you can push your own agenda.
“I’m sorry.” Her face crumpled. “I didn’t know.”
“Sorry doesn’t cut it.” Fucking hell. The things he’d said to Cassie downstairs… The things he’d done. Even God couldn’t forgive him for betraying her like that.
“The offer to fuck him up is still on the table.” Brute drank from the can, not even bothering to focus his full attention on the way T.J.’s life was ending.
“No. Thank you,” T.J. grated. “He was caught and prosecuted. Once he was sent to jail, the story died, and that’s how I want it to stay.”
“He deserves some form of retaliation.”
T.J. inclined his head. “Yes, but at the risk of Cassie finding out? I’d prefer him to rot in his cell.”
Shay turned to Leo. “You knew about this?”
“Yeah. Since the masquerade party.”
“But, T.J., you love her so much.” Her voice rose. “You can’t leave her.”
He’d spent months trying to determine if he could live a lie just to stay with Cassie. Counselling hadn’t helped. He either had to tell the truth and watch her suffer through the consequences, knowing
with each passing day that he was to blame. Or he could leave and allow her to find a brighter future with someone else.
“There’s no other option.”
Brute slammed his can on the counter and pulled another from the fridge. “I still think that bastard needs to suffer.”
“And you think I don’t? He’s in jail. What’s done is done.” Cassie was gone. He’d pushed her to her breaking point and doubted she’d have the heart to fight back.
“Then I suggest we let it go.” Leo crossed his arms over his chest. “Let her go.”
Words were so easily spoken. It was the pain they inflicted that made it hard to breathe. “Yeah, just dust that shit off, right?” As if it would ever be that easy.
Leo snarled. “Look, we’re trying to be here for you, but you’re making it fucking hard.”
“Leo,” Shay chastised and made her way onto the dance floor. “I made a huge mistake, and I’m incredibly sorry. I never would’ve placed Cassie in this situation if I knew. Please forgive me.”
T.J. looked away. He didn’t want to hurt her. It was the pain, the anger and the desperation making him volatile. “I can’t even forgive myself right now.”
She nodded. “Then tell me what I can do to help. I know you have to pick up your belongings on Sunday. Let me do that for you.”
To hell with that. He’d do it himself. He was becoming accustomed to seeing his wife pained beyond recognition. Nobody else deserved to experience her anguish like he did. “No, it’s okay.”
Misguided or not, these people were his friends, and he was punishing them for something that was his fault. “This is my mistake. Let’s just pretend like tonight didn’t happen.” And the years with Cassie were only a dream. “I’m going to go home. I’ll see you all tomorrow.”
Silence followed him as he walked from Shot of Sin. Silence and mourning. He’d done the right thing…maybe not in the right way, but protecting Cassie from the past had been his aim, and he’d achieved that. Now all he had to do was live with the consequences.
Chapter Fifteen
Cassie spent three days in hiding. She didn’t answer the door when Jan came over, or pick up the phone when Shay called. She didn’t even turn on the television to let the outside world in.
Instead, she packed T.J.’s things. Piece by piece, she placed her husband’s belongings into empty boxes. She could’ve thrown them on the front lawn, giving him a taste of retaliation, but she wasn’t convinced he’d even care anymore. She no longer knew how he would react, or if he was even going to show up to claim what she’d packed.
She hadn’t spoken to him since she’d run from the club on Thursday night. Hours later, she’d started removing his things from her life. The process had been cathartic. Each item of clothing, pair of shoes and personal object had received a silent goodbye to the memories they held.
His wedding tux had been the hardest. She’d unzipped the clothing protector, flattened the familiar outfit on the bed and lain on top of it. With softly falling tears, she’d closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around the waist of the coat, pretending she was back there. On their special day. Speaking vows of love and commitment.
She was stronger now though. All that remained of T.J. were stacked boxes at her door. She’d blocked him from her mind. Pushed him from her heart. And would proceed to carry on with her chin held high.
But as Bear began to bark from the backyard, she wasn’t sure who she’d been kidding. This was it. There was no reason for him to come back after today. There was nothing to keep him here.
She sucked in a deep breath and yanked the front door open.
“T.J.,” she murmured.
He gave her an awkward smile. “Hi, Cass.”
She broke eye contact, unable to stand the familiar man who acted like a stranger. “I’ve packed your things and stacked the boxes inside the door. There’s a few more in the dining room.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
No, she didn’t. She owed him nothing. “I’ll leave you to it.”
He inclined his head, his face solemn as he leaned inside and grabbed the first heavy box from the stack.
He walked away with too much ease. She didn’t understand it. Couldn’t contemplate how a man who’d once claimed to love her with all his heart could find it so easy to cut ties. But she wasn’t going to think about that anymore. Nope. Not even once.
She strode for the back of the house, breathing through the pain overtaking her lungs. She refused to cry. Not after all the tears she’d shed. She was done. D-O-N-E. Or maybe it was spelt differently. More like D-A-M-A-G-E-D. She didn’t know anymore. Everything felt like varying degrees of numbness.
She hid in the spare bedroom at the rear of the house for over an hour, nestled upon the corner of the bed, her feet tucked beneath her as she stared blankly out the window. This was the furthest point in the house from him, and still the scrape of cardboard taunted her as he slowly dragged boxes of memories from her life.
“Cassie?” His call floated softly down the hall.
She remained quiet, unwilling to see him again. She had no more time for his pity. Or the pain he inflicted.
“Cassie? I’m done.”
She sighed. He was done. They were done. Everything was done.
“Okay,” she called out, unmoving. “I guess I’ll see you around.”
She held her breath, waiting for the front door to close. When the sound of his footsteps approached, echoing up the hall, her heart climbed to her throat. She pushed from the bed, scooting to the window to pretend she’d been caught staring at something fascinating as his frame came to stand in the doorway.
“I’m leaving now.”
She nodded again. Leaving here. Leaving her. “Good luck with everything.” The words burned her throat.
“Are you okay?”
His tone mocked her. Their marriage too. Of course she wasn’t okay. He shouldn’t be either.
“Peachy,” she drawled.
He approached, his broad shoulders taking up her peripheral vision. “Is there anything you want me to do while I’m here?”
Hold me. Love me. Stay. “I think you’ve done enough.”
The room fell silent, the cloying thickness of memories filling the small space. She wanted to open her mouth, to remind him of all the precious moments he’d ruined with his recent actions. He’d tainted it all. Nothing was left unscathed. She didn’t even know if anything they shared was real.
“I never wanted it to end this way.” He came to stand in front of her, cocking his hip against the windowsill. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Really?” She turned her focus to him. “I’ve never been hurt more than what you’ve put me through in the last few weeks. Three nights ago, you used my love for you against me, tied me to a bed and left me there, humiliated and more devastated than the day you arranged for a stranger to give me the divorce papers.”
“I know.” His forehead creased into a mass of tension lines. “I hate myself for what I’ve done.”
She hated him even more. And she still loved him all the same.
“Then why do it? Why tear apart everything we had?”
He glanced away, focusing out the window. He had something to say, she could see it in the strain of his features. Yet, his lips didn’t move.
“I guess you can tell Leo and Brute,” she seethed. “You just can’t tell—”
“You deserve better,” he growled.
She jerked back. “Do you think our relationship was that bad? That we couldn’t have worked through whatever this problem is together?” It seemed a vivid black-and-white scenario to her—you talked through issues and resolved them, or you kept them bottled up and slowly drowned. “Did you have that little faith in us that you couldn’t even discuss it with me?”
“No.” His tone was sharp. “
Being with you was everything to me. It always will be, Cass. I just can’t risk hurting you anymore.”
The tension in his features increased. He wasn’t lying, she knew that much. “Then tell me. Explain.” She stepped forward, unable to resist his sorrow. “I know our marriage is over. We’re done. Just please tell me why.”
He reached out a hand, stroked his calloused finger along her jawline. Her skin tingled along the trail of his touch, every nerve awakening while her heart ached for more.
“I shouldn’t have come today.” He streaked his other hand down her cheek, killing her with kindness. “Going to sleep at night, knowing you hate me is the worst feeling in the world. I knew once I saw you again I’d succumb to my own selfish need to touch you.”
Cassie closed her eyes. This was her husband. This was the man she’d married. With his heart on his sleeve and his love pulsing from him in waves, he made her toes curl with his affection. “Go on,” she whispered, opening her eyes to his dark gaze.
“You’re right about me holding on to my guilt. I hated myself for not protecting you in Brisbane. And I loathed myself even more for not being able to help you after.”
“We could’ve gotten through it, if only you’d talked to me.”
He inclined his head. “Maybe. But you never should’ve been there. My stupidity could’ve cost you everything.”
“Could’ve, but it didn’t.” The words were a breathy exhale. She needed to know what haunted him, only the agony in his eyes made her second-guess if she really wanted to know. “You’re still not going to tell me, are you?”
“No.”
She winced, and scooted back to sit on the windowsill to space herself from the burn. His admission broke her heart. Collapsed her chest. “I need to know what you’re going through, Tate. I need to know what’s dragging you away.”
Her nose began to burn, her vision blurred. She still refused to cry. There was nothing tears could do to stop the damage that had already occurred. But everything inside her ached with the unfairness of what had happened.
“I do love you, Cass. But our marriage is over.”
The reminder of his love hurt more now than ever. They’d done so many things wrong. From the night of the club, to the way they reacted, to the underhanded way she’d first entered Vault of Sin, and everything in between. It was a tangled mess. One that would never unravel.
