by Cm Hutton
Nothing. No movement. No noise. So, I rang again. Ding Dong
Still no answer and I was starting to worry. So, I decide to try a text even though it was late.
Derek:
Hey, are you awake? Just rang your doorbell. Can I see you?
Three minutes passed.
Claire:
Not home. I’m out of town. You okay?
I was confused as hell. Where the fuck had she gone? And why didn’t she tell me she was leaving town?
Derek:
I’m fine. But where the hell are you? Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving town?
Claire:
Not that you need to know, but I’m with my kids…in Houston. We are leaving in the morning to go on a short trip. A patient offered his vacation home. We’ll be back soon.
Derek:
But why didn’t you say anything about leaving?
Claire:
I guess I should have told you so you wouldn’t have worried, but it was a last minute thing and you and I are taking a break from each other…figuring things out, right? I’m giving you space to think…I need the same.
Like a knife in my heart.
Derek:
Can I ask where you’re going?
Claire:
Of course. Bahamas
Bahamas? I was so fucking pissed. I couldn’t even respond. I walked back to my car, climbed inside and punched my steering wheel. I wanted to track her down and throw her over my shoulder, grunting like a caveman all the way back to my house. But I had no right and that made me even madder.
I started my car, drove home and slammed the door to my house as I stomped inside. I didn’t know what to do with all the built-up anxiety and energy. I finally called a cab to take me to Casbah. I’d heard they were having a great New Year’s Eve party, so I decided to fuck the grown-up shit and go have some fun.
*****
As soon as I ordered my first beer, I felt like shit. Club life wasn’t me. I didn’t drown my sorrows. I took out my phone to send Claire a text since I knew I hadn’t responded to her last one. I slid open my phone just as I saw a call coming in. Before I could stop my action, it connected…to Claire and I was in a loud ass club.
“Hello?”
“Derek? Hello?”
“Claire, hang on.” I rushed toward the front door so I could go outside to hear her.
“I’ll let you go. Sounds like you’re busy. Bye.”
“No. Claire! Shit, don’t hang up.” I couldn’t hear anything on the other end. I pushed my way through the doors and walked outside. “Claire, are you there? Hello?”
A long pause and then, “Yes. I’m here.” It was so quiet out on the street that I could hear her taking deep breaths on the other end. “I won’t keep you. I called to apologize for leaving town without saying anything. That’s not usually my style. I was in a hurry. We’ll be back next week and I’ll call you then. Go enjoy your night, Derek.”
“Hey, don’t hang up. Sorry I didn’t respond to your last text. Truthfully, I was angry that you’d left. I actually came to your house to tell you I’d had enough. Three days was enough time to realize that what I want is you. You’ve become necessary to my survival.”
I heard Claire take a deep breath. “Three days? That’s kind of sad, Derek.” The humor in her voice made me smile.
“Hell, yes! Longest three days of my life.”
“Is that why you’re out at a club? I didn’t think you were the kind to drink your sorrows away. Why are you there?”
“Because I was pissed and lonely…and I couldn’t stand sitting at home alone tonight.”
Claire was quiet and I started to worry she was upset with me. “I’m not sure what to think about that. You were mad and lonely so you went to a club to what? Find someone to comfort you? Get drunk and go home with some stranger? I know I shouldn’t be upset about it, but I kinda am.”
If I wasn’t so worried about the direction of our conversation, I’d be happy that she was jealous or whatever about me going out. “No, it wasn’t like that. After Abbi called me tonight, I was so high strung. It was that conversation that made me realize how much I wanted you in my life…how much I wanted to be in your life. But when you weren’t home…you’d actually left town…well, I just needed to unwind. I’d just ordered my first beer when I took out my phone to text you. I was getting ready to leave because this is not a place I belong, especially alone.”
“Why did Abbi call?”
I didn’t want to tell her. “She wanted to come over.”
“Oh.”
“I told her to leave me alone…leave you alone and get lost, for good.” Silence. “Claire? Talk to me.”
“Derek, it’s not my place to tell you how to handle your ex-wife. I’d be a huge hypocrite if I even tried after my little speech to you about my relationship with Jake. However, Jake is married and doesn’t want me. Abbi clearly still has her hooks in you and I have a feeling you’ve allowed her to visit you from time to time. That doesn’t work for me. She has an agenda and I don’t want any part something that involves more lies and deceit.” She took a deep breath and with a shaky voice said, “So, I guess instead of this being a phone call to tell you how much I miss you, it’s really a call to say good-bye. I’m making the decision for you.”
“NO! Stop, Claire. Don’t hang up. Okay, I’ll admit it, yes…in the past I’d give in when she showed up at my door and we’d fuck.” Claire gasped at my harsh language. “It was always around this time of year when the holidays were so damned lonely. I know you understand. I’ve never told a soul about Abbi’s visits. No one in my family knows that I was weak and pathetic enough that I’d let that manipulative witch into my home, let alone into my bed. I certainly didn’t want you to know, but here we are.”
“I understand being weak and lonely. But don’t fool yourself into thinking Abbi is done with you.”
“I can handle Abbi. She’ll leave me alone.”
“I need to go. It’s late and we have an early flight.”
“Claire, please, just give us some time. Don’t say it’s over because it’s not—not for me.”
“I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Claire. Don’t.”
“I have to go. I miss you, Derek.” Her voice was so soft, I could have sworn she was crying.
“Baby, don’t. Please. I want you. I miss you like crazy. I didn’t think it was possible to love someone so deeply this soon after meeting them. But I do.”
I could hear her sobs clearly through the phone. “Me, too.” It was so low and quiet I almost missed what she’d said, but I heard it. Thank God I’d heard it.
“Tell me where you’re staying. I want to be with you…and your kids. Will you let me?”
She wasn’t hiding her tears when she answered this time. “Oh God, Derek, as much as I would love for you to be with me—with us, I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. I’m still not convinced that you won’t change your mind and completely break me.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you. I know what it feels like and I could never do that to you. You and I are supposed to be together. I know it. I was made to love you, hold you and protect you, Claire.”
She was still crying. “Let’s talk after I get back, okay? I feel too raw—too confused right now.” I didn’t want to let her off the phone, but I was feeling pretty ‘raw’ myself. Hell, I’d just confessed that I was in love with her while standing outside a nightclub. Good news was she basically admitted it too.
“Okay. Call when you guys get settled tomorrow?”
“Yes, I’ll call you.”
“Thank you. And, Claire?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
She gasped and I swear I heard a hand clap over her mouth. “I’m so scared to love you, Derek, but I do.”
“Don’t be scared. Let it happen. Let us happen. I promise I’ll never hurt you, baby. You’ll always be first…always.”
“I want to believe
you—with my whole heart I want to believe.”
“Then let me prove it to you.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
“Ahh, that makes me so happy. You make me happy, Claire.” She let out a little laugh.
“Then go home, Derek. Get out of that club.”
“Just got in a cab, headed home. I’ve been outside this whole time talking to you. I’d have caught one sooner, but I didn’t want some cabbie hearing our conversation.”
“You took a cab to the club?” Shit.
“Yes, I told you I was angry and anxious. I didn’t want to drive, especially if I started drinking. I really don’t drink much so one or two and I don’t like to drive. I know what you’re thinking…”
“And what’s that?”
“That I was planning on getting wasted and taking someone home with me. If you haven’t learned it by now, you will…I’m not that guy. If I didn’t sleep with every girl in San Diego after Abbi left me, I’m certainly not going to do it now when I have an amazing girl that I’m in love with and desperately trying keep.”
“I shouldn’t be upset or jealous. I’m the one that pushed for us to take a step back. But I am. There are a lot of trolls out there, Derek, that are looking for the opportunity to snag someone like you.”
“I’m already ‘snagged.’ I’ve never gotten so drunk that I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. Even in college, I didn’t drink much. And, I like you being jealous. It means you want me…you love me and want me all to yourself.” I was teasing her.
She laughed and it was music to my ears. “You might just be right about that, baby.”
“Claire, you have no idea what it does to me when I hear you happy, hear you laughing, calling me ‘baby.’ I love it.”
“Feels pretty good to hear it from you, too. Are you home yet?”
“Just got out of the cab and walking to my front door.”
“Okay. We’re at a hotel near the airport and I’m curled up in bed. My kids are in the adjoining room next to mine. Although, Jenna will probably be in here with me before long.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yes, she’s not a fan of sharing space with her brothers, even if one is her twin.” Claire laughed, then quietly said, “I want you to meet them. They’ll love you.”
“I’d really like that. Maybe when you guys get back?”
“Yes…or…maybe…”
“What…already changed your mind?”
“Yes…well, no, not about them meeting you. But, I have changed my mind about something else. I want you to come to the Bahamas, meet us there.”
“Really? You’re okay with it?” She chuckled at my shocked reaction. “If you’re sure, I’ll fly there tomorrow.”
“I’m sure. They’ll be a bit surprised, but I want you with us.”
“You really mean it, don’t you?” I couldn’t stop smiling and shaking my head at the amazing turn of events between us. “I’m looking forward to meeting them, but I’m really looking forward to curling up next to your naked body and doing all kinds of kinky things to you.”
“Kinky, huh?”
“Yep! So you’d better rest up. I’ll see you tomorrow night, okay?”
“Okay. I’ll text you the address in the morning.”
“Thank you, Claire, for letting me love you and for trusting me. I love you.”
“Night, Derek. I can’t wait to see you.”
“Night.”
Chapter 24
Claire
Well, I’d done it. I couldn’t believe I’d asked Derek to come to the Bahamas with us and I’d told him I was falling in love.
When I called Andy to ask him if the offer still stood for the house in the Bahamas, he and Karen were more than happy to let the kids and I go there for the week. Jake didn’t say a word when I told him I was flying into Houston to pick up our kids and we were going to the beach for New Years. It was a much needed break. What I hadn’t expected was a text from Derek looking for me or for him to be out at a club when I called him. It wasn’t that I had certain expectations for his ‘thinking time.’ I guess I just didn’t anticipate Derek going out…well, not with what Melissa had told me or even based on his own admissions.
I shook my head and forced myself to let go of all the swirling questions rattling around. I’d pulled the trigger and asked Derek to join us. Now, I had to break the news to my kids and hoped they would be okay—accept my decision.
Matt, Jenna, Jon and I were staying at the Marriott Hotel close to Intercontinental Airport in Houston. Our flight was leaving bright and early the next morning. So, after I hung up with Derek, I walked into the adjoining room and sat on the end of Matt’s bed.
“Hey, Mom, I thought you were asleep.”
“No. I was just talking to…a friend on the phone, Matt. Jon, turn down the TV for a second. I want to talk to you guys about something.”
“Momma, what’s wrong?” Jenna could see the anxiety on my face. She moved closer to me and I wrapped my arm around her shoulder. Jon, with his usual stoic, observant calm moved closer as well, sitting on the same bed as the rest of us.
“Guys, don’t look so worried. It’s nothing that huge.” I laughed. “I just wanted to tell you that I…well, I met someone that I’ve been spending a lot of time with and I’d like you to meet him.”
“MOM! Don’t scare me like that!” Jenna threw herself at me, hugging my neck tightly.
“What did you think I was going to say, honey?” She was shaking. “Are you crying?” I pulled my daughter away and looked at her face. She was smiling, but tears were streaming down her face. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“I just don’t want any more big surprises. They’re not fun, Momma.”
“I know. I’m sorry. We can postpone you guys meeting Derek if you want.” I wasn’t sure how I was going to break that to him.
“No, it’s okay. I just thought you were gonna say something bad, that’s all.”
I turned to look at my boys. Matt was staring at me, sort of looking me over and Jon had his eyebrows pinched together…not happy. “Boys? What are you thinking?”
“I don’t know, Mom. Who’s this guy? Where’d you meet him? I mean, when were you going to tell us?”
“Matt, I’m telling you now and it’s out of being respectful to you, so watch your tone. I don’t have to answer to any of you, but I also don’t want to keep secrets from you guys. We’ve had enough of those to last a lifetime.”
“I know. I’m sorry, Mom. I just don’t want…”
“What, Matt? Don’t want me to move on like your dad did? Don’t want my attention on anyone other than you three? What?” I was getting pissed and losing my cool. I knew he’d be concerned…especially him. But, I wasn’t going to let my seventeen year old son act like a punk. “Look…” I took a deep breath. “I met Derek at the clinic. He’s actually a patient of mine. A firefighter who re-injured his knee. We’ve become friends over the last several weeks and have spent a lot of time together while you were here with your dad.”
“Is he nice to you, Momma?” My Jon had such a tender heart. I reached across the bed and touched his hand.
“Yes, Jon, he is very nice to me.” I smiled thinking about Derek.
“So, why are you telling us this now?” Matt was still suspicious.
“Well, honestly, Matt, I asked him to join us on our vacation.”
“WHAT? WHY?”
I let out a little laugh. “You know, I don’t really know why. I’d already told Derek I needed time before I’d let you guys meet him. But then before I could take it back, I’d invited him to join us. He’s excited to get to know you.”
“Does he know about Dad?” Matt was turning out to be a much harder sale than I’d anticipated.
“Yes, Matt, and he knows everything—the whole story.”
“What did he say?” Jon spoke again.
“He hates what happened to us—understands our side, I guess. He was married before. His wife left him pre
tty heartbroken. It was about six years ago, I think.”
“Does he have kids?”
“No, Jenna, he doesn’t have any children.” And there was our biggest issue. But I wasn’t going to tell my kids that and I wasn’t going to dwell on it either. I was going to trust Derek as best I could and take a chance—for now.
“When is he coming?”
“I think sometime tomorrow or the next day. It will be okay, I promise. I think you’ll enjoy getting to know him. You know, he used to play pro football, Matt.”
“Really? I thought you said he was a fireman?”
“His knee injury ended his football career. So, he trained and is now a firefighter.” I smiled seeing Matt’s face relax. He was impressed. But the second he saw me grinning, he put his mad face back in place.
I reached over and patted his leg. “Stop! If what your dad did to me didn’t break me, I don’t think Derek will either. Just be open minded. I’m not saying we’re getting married. I’m saying I enjoy spending time with him and I wasn’t going to hide it or sneak around behind you guys. We’re beyond that kind of crap. Don’t you think?”
“Yes, I’m excited to meet him. I like the way you smile when you say his name and talk about him.” My daughter, she was a smart girl. I shook my head and grinned.
“Jon, you okay?”
“I think so. I want you happy, Mom. I just don’t know about some guy hanging around. He won’t try to like be a dad to us or something, cause I don’t think I’ll like that.”
“No. No matter who I’m dating, your dad and I are your parents. I expect you to be respectful just like you would be to any of my friends or any adult, for that matter. But Derek isn’t interested in being your parent. He’s interested in meeting you and spending time with me. Period.”
“Yeah, what else?” Matt’s comment was low, but I heard him. I jerked my head his way and pointed right at my son.
“Watch yourself, Matthew! You don’t want to cross that line with me, understand? Not. Going. To. Happen. You will be respectful or you’ll find yourself in a very long, very painful state of grounding. And that car you keep begging for? Yeah. You’ll be riding a bicycle your freshman year of college.”
