“How was it with your father this morning?”
Jason nodded. “It was good. I wouldn’t say we’re chums now, but I sat in on a meeting between him and John. It was quite illuminating. They have their own way of running things, and it seems to be working. He’s right, I’ll bungle the whole thing if I don’t learn.”
“No, you’re smart enough to take the advice of those around you. John will stay on, I’m sure. He won’t let you ruin it. I’m glad to hear things went well.”
“How was your day? Did you bring me back any pictures?”
Kale shifted in his seat. He was going to try to hide something. “Nothing interesting.”
“Really? So if I walked upstairs right now, there’d be nothing that would catch my eye?”
“Don’t, Jason. I’ll show you when I’m ready.”
The curt tone clipped Jason’s retort. Kale was always protective of his art, but this was more than the usual shyness. With all the upheaval of the last few days, it wasn’t entirely surprising that he was drawing things he didn’t want Jason to know about. It put Jason at a disadvantage. He always used Kale’s drawings as a barometer of his feelings. They were a useful tool in deciphering his often silent lover.
Jason reached across the table and rested his hand on top of Kale’s. “You don’t have to worry. I won’t go snooping. Just know that I’m always here when you’re ready. There’s nothing you could show me that would make me think less of you.”
Kale peered at Jason, his lips pursed in thought, and nodded. Jason pulled his hand back, and they resumed eating.
When they were almost done, Demetri entered. “Excuse me, sir?”
“Yes, Demetri?”
“Your father wanted me to invite you and Kale to play cards with him in his study.”
Jason bit back the question that sprang to his mind. Demetri would have, of course, seen to it that his father had eaten. “Thank you. We’ll join him as soon as we’re done. Shouldn’t be more than a few minutes.”
Once Demetri was gone, Jason turned to Kale. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all. I think it’s great. Gives me something to do.”
In the study, Robert was in the same chair as earlier. The desk in front of him had been cleared of everything except a deck of cards and rack of chips. “Have a seat, boys. I thought we’d play some draw poker before dinner.” Robert tapped the ash off the end of his cigar into the ashtray on the corner of his desk.
Kale took the seat on the left, leaving Jason the one on the right.
“Do either of you know how to deal?”
“Kale’s better at it than me.”
“Go ahead then.” Robert nodded to Kale. Kale picked up the cards and shuffled, letting Jason split the deck. While Kale dealt, Jason passed out the chips.
Poker had never been Jason’s game, but he knew Kale had played it when he was a slave. They were more inclined to play billiards together. Robert had loved billiards as well, and the house even had a billiards room. That was the game they should have been playing.
Robert coughed, choking on the air he breathed. Of course they couldn’t play billiards. Jason’s father had just as much chance of running a foot race as standing at a table.
The hand passed in silence except for the bidding, as did the next and the next.
“Stop holding back, boy.” Robert growled after Kale folded for the second time on the fourth hand.
“Sir?”
“Don’t give me that. You think I’m too old and sickly for you to beat? If I wanted to win every hand, I would have just had Jason come.”
Jason caught the twitch in Kale’s lips. “All right. I’ll see you then.” Kale threw his chips in the pot. “What you got?”
“A flush.” Robert laid down five clubs.
Kale nodded. “That’s good.”
“Not good enough, is it?”
Kale tossed his hand on the table. A full house.
“Don’t be scared to beat me again.”
Kale nodded as he stacked his chips. “I won’t, sir.”
For the next few hours, Jason watched them play. He found it fascinating watching these two men size each other up and call each other’s bluffs. While Jason played each hand, he was really no more than a spectator, and he was perfectly fine with that. Seeing Kale and his father together gave him hope. Robert finally treated Kale as he would any other man. Any hope at a relationship with his father was doomed as long as Robert couldn’t accept Jason’s relationship with Kale, making this a promising sign.
A shrill ringing, muffled by walls, pierced the air. Jason eyes snapped to Kale. Robert rarely, if ever, used the telephone, so this was likely the call they’d been waiting for. A minute later, a slave Jason didn’t know entered the room.
“Sir, there’s a telephone call for Mr. Kale. A Mr. Grimlock.”
Robert nodded to the slave. “Thank you, Billy.”
Kale didn’t even look at Jason or Robert before following Billy out the door. Jason turned to his father. “This is what we’ve been waiting for.”
“Go on, then. It’s not like there’s much of a game without Kale anyway.”
Jason was halfway to the door by the time his father finished speaking. When he reached Kale, he was already talking to Martin. Hearing only Kale’s side of the conversation wasn’t very enlightening. Jason tried to read Kale’s face for any sign of what was being said, but Kale seemed as calm and composed as usual.
“Thank you, Martin. This has all been very helpful. Give my love to Sophie, and Jason’s too.” Kale nodded, even though Martin couldn’t see him. “Goodbye.” Kale leaned against the wall, deflated and seemingly exhausted.
“So?” Jason came to Kale’s side.
“Martin and Mr. Smithson were able to track down court proceedings regarding some unpaid debts. Just like George said, they didn’t want to give up their land—it’s been in their family for generations—so they sold off their slaves to pay the debts, and then just left because they couldn’t keep up the place without the slaves. They’re living in a cousin’s property in Shalae County on the outskirts of Rushing. The court allowed them to sell their slaves at auction in Shalae County since it’s more affluent there. There’s no record of which slaves were sold or even what auction house they went through. My family could be anywhere.”
Kale’s voice broke at the end. His calm exterior showed signs of cracking: tight lips, tense muscles around the cheeks and eyes. “Let’s go upstairs.” Jason wanted to get Kale to a place where he could break down if he needed to. Kale didn’t resist when Jason guided him to their room with an arm around his back.
“They could be anywhere, Jason.” Kale looked up at him from the bed where Jason had sat him.
“We’ll find them.” Jason sat next to him and grabbed his hand.
“Will you come with me? I hate to take you away from your father, but I don’t know if I can do this without you.”
“Of course. You don’t even have to ask. We’ll leave first thing in the morning.” Kale’s eyes looked pained. “You know we’d leave now if it made sense, but there’s no way we can reach Shalae County tonight.” That wasn’t Jason’s only concern. Kale looked as though he would fall apart if a draft blew through. He needed sleep.
“You’re right—”
A knock on the door interrupted Kale.
“Yes?” Jason called.
The door opened to reveal Demetri. “Excuse me, sir, but your father was worried about you.”
“Oh, yes.” Jason turned back to Kale. “Why don’t you get ready for dinner, and I’ll be back in a moment.” He had completely forgotten about his father. Jason followed Demetri downstairs to where his father still sat in his study.
“I’m sorry, Father. I didn’t mean to leave you for so long.”
“Was it good news or bad?”
“A little of both, I suppose. We found out Kale’s family was sold off, but we have no way of knowing who to.”
“Well, do
n’t feel like you need to make an appearance at dinner on my account. You can have something brought to your room if you prefer. He probably doesn’t want to see anyone.”
“Thank you, Father. I think we’ll do that.”
“Have a good night, then.”
“You as well.”
When Jason got back to their room, Kale was exactly as he had left him, staring vacantly ahead. “Do you want me to have dinner brought up? There’s no need to go downstairs.”
“I don’t know if I can eat. My stomach’s in knots.”
“Well, you’re at least going to try.”
Kale finally met Jason’s eyes. “You might as well eat with your father. I’m not going to be the best company. I’m going to be taking you away, so you should spend this time with him.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. We’ll have plenty of time together.”
Jason was hesitant to leave him in such a state, but he doubted there was anything he could do at the moment. They both needed to eat, and Jason thought the time with his father may actually be productive. Jason tugged on the pull cord by the bed, and a few minutes later a slave girl he didn’t recognize came to the door.
“Have some dinner brought up for Kale, and let my father know I’d like to dine with him if he’s feeling up to it, please.”
“Yes, sir.” The slave left as quietly and quickly as she’d come.
With nothing else to do, Jason reclaimed his spot next to Kale and held his hand. Silence could be just as comforting as words. Jason mentally prepared for the coming day, running over the many possibilities of how it could unfold. He’d have to ask John where they could buy some fuel. It wasn’t possible to make it all the way to their destination on what they had. Jason’s most important role would be as a support to Kale. Jason had no idea how he must feeling; there was nothing in his experience to compare it to.
A gentle knock on the door preceded it opening to reveal a different slave carrying a covered tray.
“You can place it on the desk.”
“Dinner is served downstairs as well, sir.”
“Thank you. I’ll be along in a moment.” Once the door softly clicked closed behind the slave, Jason squeezed Kale’s hand. “Eat. I’ll be back as soon as I’m finished, and we can go to bed.” Jason leaned in and softly kissed Kale’s lips, not terribly surprised when he received no response. “Try to eat something.”
“I will. Please make my apologies to your father.”
“No need, he’s the one who suggested it. I’ll see you soon.”
In the dining room, a cream of broccoli soup was served right after Jason took his seat.
“How is Kale doing?” Robert asked between spoonfuls.
“I think he’ll be fine. It’s a bit of a shock, but I think he appreciates knowing—having something to go off of. We’ll be leaving early tomorrow morning. I don’t know when we’ll be back. I’m hoping it will be a quick trip.” Jason thought he saw a tinge of sadness in his father’s eyes at the mention of leaving.
“Where are you off to?”
“Shalae County, around Rushing.”
“That’s quite a drive. Even if everything goes well, you should get a room for the night before heading back. Do you think you’ll bring his family with you?”
“That’s the hope, although if I’m honest, I have to admit I don’t think it’s likely, at least not in the next two days.”
“You can’t let him know that. Let him hope for the best while you prepare for the worst.”
“Thank you, Father.”
“I’m not the heartless tyrant you seem to think I am.”
“That’s what Kale says.”
Robert chortled. “Is that right?”
“He’s tiresomely practical. He has a talent for explaining things to me that I think he takes too much pleasure in.”
“He does seem to be pretty calm and collected. That’s good. You’re exactly the opposite.”
Jason stamped down his initial instinct to let his father’s words sting. “He’s a good match for me.”
“You know, that’s why I bought him for you. I suppose he was just a little better of a match for you than I’d intended. I certainly never envisioned this happening.”
The rest of dinner proceeded with comfortable conversation. By the time dessert came around, Jason was anxious to get back to Kale. He barely tasted the peach cobbler. Once he had devoured the last of the buttery crumbs, he wiped his mouth and then set his napkin on the table while he pushed his chair back. “Thank you for dinner, Father. I probably won’t see you before we leave tomorrow.”
“Have a safe journey. And call to let me know how’s it going and when to expect you back.”
“I will, Father.”
“Give Kale my regards, and let him know I hope he finds them.”
“Thank you.” Jason held his father’s eyes for a moment, noticing the winkles around them and the gray that dusted the hair framing his face.
Upstairs, no light peeked beneath his bedroom door. Jason’s heart sank. He had really wanted Kale to still be awake. It was early for him to be in bed, but it was probably for the best. Jason quickly undressed and crawled in beside Kale. He reached out to cuddle, only to be shocked when Kale shrugged him off.
An awkward silence hung in the air as Jason contemplated what to do. He wasn’t sure letting Kale brood was a good idea, but he didn’t want to push the issue. He could go a night without cuddling.
“I just can’t tonight. I’m sorry.” Kale’s pained voice breached the silence.
Jason wondered if Kale meant cuddling or sex. Neither answer would make Jason feel better, so he didn’t ask. Respecting Kale’s wishes, he settled on his back with one arm across his stomach and the other across his eyes. In a few minutes, Jason heard Kale’s breathing fall into the familiar pattern of sleep. Every muscle in his body was tuned to the man lying next to him. He wanted to curl around him, comfort him in sleep, stave off the nightmares. But he didn’t. He wanted Kale to know he was loved, and right now the best way to do that was to hold back. Experience had taught him that loving someone meant doing what that person needed to feel loved, not indulging his own desires. He lay rigid, muscles tense against the urge to reach out.
Chapter Nineteen
Finally, they were out on the open road. Clear blue skies meant the top was down, and Kale relished the breeze on his skin. They had eaten breakfast before they left and had purchased fuel at a local farming supply store, so there was nothing but hours of driving ahead of them. The next stop would be in Rushing, where Kale would finally get the answers he sought.
Kale rested his hand on the seat between him and Jason. Things had been awkward between them all morning. It probably would have been better if Kale had just let Jason cuddle him last night. His self-loathing hadn’t permitted him to accept the comfort even though he logically knew it would help. Quiet drives were usually pleasant, but this was the silence of two people who didn’t know what to say to each other. Even the rumble of the air as the car sliced through it couldn’t drown out the silence. Kale tapped his fingers on the seat. What started out as a steady rhythm turned into frantic shaking. Instead of being an outlet for his anxieties, it keyed him up even more.
A tight, warm weight restrained his hand. Kale glanced down to see Jason’s alabaster hand holding his. Jason gave a firm squeeze and then intertwined his fingers with Kale’s, stalling any hope of further tapping. Jason smiled. Kale returned it. The touch—the connection—was welcome. Kale regretted not letting Jason hold him last night. Sometimes, it just felt good to brood, to retreat into himself. This was unfamiliar territory for both of them. The fact that they were both trying had to be enough. They’d work things out when all this was settled.
After a few minutes, Jason reached into the back seat and retrieved a book from his bag. “I thought I could read aloud, help pass the time.”
“It depends. What book did you bring?”
“The Grisl
y Tale of Hunter Humphreys. We never finished it.”
“That sounds good.” As Jason read, Kale thought of Naiara and the nice little life they had carved for themselves there. Since arriving at the ranch, he’d almost forgotten that he and Jason had a whole life together back home. The last few days seemed so separate from it.
Once Jason finished that book, he pulled out another. “I borrowed this from my father’s library. I don’t think he’ll mind.” It was a nice mystery with the kind of plot that was easy to follow without much thought.
While the hours had seemed to drag by as they were driving, once Kale came into Rushing, it felt like the time had flown. Kale parked in front of the first place he found that served food. Approaching the Monroes on an empty stomach would be a mistake. He and Jason ate quickly, and Kale finished off his meal with a shot of whiskey to calm his nerves.
Jason asked the bartender for directions to the address Martin had given them, and then they were back in the car. “Go down this road about a kilometer and then turn right on Maple. Follow it for six kilometers, and there’ll be a left turn onto Grove and then a quick right onto Monroe. Jedediah lives in the smaller of the two houses.”
Kale nodded and started the car. This was it. Ten minutes later, they were parked again and staring at a two-story white house that was nicer than the place Monroe had left in Malar. Kale straightened his clothes, twisting his shirt cuffs into place and tightening his tie. He had almost insisted on his regular, more comfortable dress for the long drive, but Jason had been right to suggest the nice clothing. It gave Kale a confidence that he wasn’t entirely sure was warranted.
Knocking on the door, Kale wished they had called first, but it would’ve been more difficult to get Monroe to give him the information he needed over the phone, and they might not even have one. However, the phone had the benefit of avoiding a face-to-face confrontation. With it being around lunchtime, there was a good chance Monroe would be home.
[Measure of Devotion 01.0 - 03.0] Box Set Page 61
