by L. M. Carr
I can feel my heart beat harder as the blood begins to flow faster. I don’t think I want to play this game.
He explains that he’s going to name some things he likes and I have to reveal what I like in the same category.
Shane: I like bacon and onion pizza.
This is easy.
Me: I like plain cheese pizza.
Shane: I like dogs.
Me: I like cats.
Shane: You do? Why? They’re useless creatures. And they’re snobby.
I laugh and tap a response.
Me: I thought you could only respond with “I like?” Cats are sweet, quiet and low maintenance.
Shane: Sorry. I like that you can play with dogs.
I can’t resist.
Me: Do you like to play with pussycats, too?
I wait and wait for his response.
Me: I like that you’re speechless. Goodnight, Shane.
I glance at the time and realize how late it is. I drift off to sleep for the night and awaken bright and early to a new message.
Shane: I like you.
While riding my bike during my daily commute to work, I mentally compile a list of all the things I’m starting to like about him. It’s as if I’m preloading the cannons to fire back answers the next time we play his silly game. I like the way Shane makes me feel. He makes me feel like a normal twenty-six year-old. The butterflies that dance in my stomach when I see him make me giddy. The simple touch of his hand when he thanks me for breakfast makes me feel special. The longing stares and the licking of his lips make me feel sexy. And to be honest, it’s nice to feel something other than despair.
I DON’T KNOW if the rush of excitement fizzing through my body is because it’s Friday morning and I get to see him, because today is my last day of summer classes or because I’m going to dinner with him tomorrow night. I wish I could just close my eyes, wiggle my nose and fly past tonight.
“I need your address so I can pick you up. Is 7:00 okay?”
I swallow hard, nerves colliding with anxiety.
“Actually, you don’t need to pick me up. I can just meet you.” I state firmly, leaving no room for discussion.
He eyes me suspiciously. “I don’t mind.”
“Wait, you have a car? Then why do you take the city bus to work every day?”
“Actually, I have a truck and taking the bus is easier than driving in morning traffic. I kind of like looking around getting to know Boston.So… your address? ”
“Are you gay?” I question and my mouth drops open. I can’t believe I came right out and asked him that. “Are we going to talk fashion and stuff tomorrow night?”
“Uh…no to both.” Shane’s face indicates that he has no idea where that question came from.
“Bi?” I ask.
“No! Why would you ask me that?”
I shrug and wrinkle my nose. “You’re just kind of…sweet.”
One eyebrow arches upward. “And that would make me gay or bisexual?”
“No. I’m sorry. I’m not judging you.” I stammer, “I mean if you are, you are. I am just…curious.” I offer by way of apology. I shift my weight from side to side feeling all kinds of uncomfortable right now.
Shane leans over and whispers in my ear. My face turns bright red and my mouth drops open.
He pulls back to look at me. A scorching blue stare penetrates right through me.
“Okay then!” I look down and mumble quietly. I press my lips together tightly to suppress a smile.
“Address?”
After finally gaining my composure, I take a deep breath and insist that we meet because I live across town and traffic is bad on a Saturday night. He tells me that he’s not too familiar with the local restaurants, but someone from work recommended a sushi bar uptown.
“I love sushi!” My eyes widen and I hum with delight. “Let’s meet here and then we can hop on the train.”
“What are you doing tonight?” he asks, pulling out some money to pay for his breakfast.
I start to ramble, my eyes dart everywhere just so I don’t have to look at his handsome face. “I have a few things to do. I have to finish a paper. I’ve got some laundry to do. Pay some bills. Stop by the grocery store.” I take a deep breath when I finish. “How about you?”
“I was supposed to go home to see my sister, but her girls have a nasty stomach bug so I’m not going anywhere near them.One of the guys I served with is in town so I might take him out for a few beers and show him around town after football practice.”
“Football practice? Wait. You were in the military?” My face displays confusion.
“Yeah, I work in a school and I was in the Army. Didn’t I tell you that?”
I wave a playful finger at him. “No, you definitely didn’t tell me either one of those things. We didn’t get to that in the “I like” game I guess.”
“I’m the assistant principal at Fenway High School.”
“You’re lying!”
“Scout’s honor.” He puts three fingers in the air and grins.
“I graduated from there.”
Shane’s eyebrows reach his hairline and his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard. “How long ago?” He’s probably wondering if I’m underage or something. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve lied about my age.
“Along time ago. Like ten years ago.” I smile, putting his mind at ease.
“Well, it seems we’ve still got a lot to learn about each other then, huh?” He glances at his watch.
“Guess so.”
“I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you later.” I notice his tongue slips through and wets his lips as his eyes drop to my mouth. I find myself mimicking his actions. His face slowly tilts; his blue eyes pierce my greens as his mouth moves closer with some hesitancy. I know he wants to kiss me and as much as I shouldn’t kiss him just yet, I want to. I really want to kiss him.
As he moves in slowly, my eyes close and my lips part waiting to feel his soft touch. I feel his warm skin brush against my cheek.
“One for the road.”
His hand brushes past my shoulder as I hear the crinkling of the plastic wrapper.
“Remy! Order’s up!”
My eyes snap open then narrow when I see his mouth transform into a sexy smirk. I release the small breath I was holding.
“Bye, Remy.”
“HOT DAMN, GIRL! You were great!” Cindy says, applying another dab of shimmer to her eye shadow.
“Right,” I snort with derision as I nod and accept her compliment but cringe inwardly, knowing that this isn’t what my advisor meant. I pull a fluffy white towel down from the cabinet and turn the shower on, hoping the hot water will make me feel clean again.
“Did you see him?”
I turn back with a quick glance, “No, I don’t think he was here.”
“Good! Be careful, sweetheart.”
“I always am.” I close the dingy plastic shower curtain behind me, blocking out the image of the man who wants to make me his.
“SO WHERE DO you want to go?” Jenna asks, linking her arm with mine as we round the corner toward Tremont. I don’t know why she asks me the same question every week; we always end up at the same place every Friday night. I peek back at the hustle and bustle of tourist attractions of the theater district just to make sure no one is behind us. My phone vibrates in my back pocket. It’s a text from Shane again. I’ve let the other two from earlier go unreturned.
Me: Hey! Sorry. Didn’t have my phone on me earlier. What’s up?
Immediately he responds.
Shane: Are you still working on your paper?
Me: No, I got a little done so now I’ve only got another 200 pages to go. lol
No sooner do I hit “Send”, I get a return text.
Shane: 200 pages? What are you writing? A book? Take a break and come meet me for a drink.
I smile, imagining his fingers zipping across the screen quickly.
Me: I don’t like to drink.
Shane: You
don’t drink?
Me: That’s not what I said.
Shane: I’m confused.
Me: Typical blond.
Shane: Last time I looked, you’re blond, too and pretty damn hot.
I bite my lip, enjoying the banter until Jenna runs her fingers through my damp hair, reminding me that I’m overdue for a color treatment.She drags me along by the arm as I continue to text.
“C’mon, Rem! They’re starting soon!”
Me: Where are you?
Shane: Some bar called Tim’s, I think.
Me: You think? Are you drunk?
His text comes in at the same time as I send mine to him.
Shane: IDK.
I laugh as my fingers fly around and tap.
Me: You don’t know where you are or you don’t know if you’re drunk?
I slip my phone into my pocket and keep my head down low as we push through the crowd. Our usual seats at the far end of the bar are occupied by a man and a woman.
“You’re in my seat, asshole,” I yell into the man’s ear as I step up to him. He slowly turns to face me. His black hair, long and shaggy in the front but short in the back, is brushed away to the side with a quick swipe of his hand.
“Screw you, little lady. I got here first.” The woman next to him just cackles and I snap my eyes to her.
“What are you laughing at? Don’t make me slap your pretty ass from that chair.”
“I’d love for you to slap my bare ass.”
The bartender’s eyes dart back and forth between us. Finally, he lets out a chuckle, rolls his eyes and walks away with a couple of bottles of beer from a local brewery.
As if I weigh nothing at all, I am swooped up and held against his body while he remains in his bar stool. Long, lean arms engulf me, securing me tightly in place.
“Dude! Get off me!” I laugh.
Simon mumbles in my ear that I’m late while Amara downs another shot of tequila before turning to face us.
“Is it raining out?” she asks.
Jenna and I look at each other with curiosity, wondering why she’d ask such a weird question.
I nearly fall off Simon’s lap when he moves abruptly to talk to me. “What are you girls having to drink?”
“The usual.” Jenna and I respond at the same time.
“Oooh…you’re living it up tonight!” His deep laughter teases me.
“Shut up!” I sneer as I take in his appearance. “You look like crap. You okay?”
“Fine and dandy!” He wipes his nose then raises his glass in salute.
I adjust myself so I’m sandwiched more comfortably in between Simon and Amara when I feel my phone vibrate against my ass.
“Jenna, can you get my phone? It’s in my back pocket. On the left.”
“Mmmm…I’d love to get it,” Amara offers, eyeballing me with a suggestive look.
“Ewww… you’re so gross!” This chick hits on me every time I see her, but she knows I’m a “dick not chick” girl. No judgment from me though. Whatever floats your boat!
Jenna hands over my phone and I see his name.
Shane: Not Tim. It’s called The Tam.
Air tumbles out of me on a loud gasp as I grab Jenna’s arm. “Shit! Jenna, he’s here.”
“What?” she shouts over the loud music that’s beginning to play. The piercing sound of the guitar fills the room.
“He’s here.”
“Who?”
“Shane!”
“And? What’s the problem?” she asks nonchalantly.
My eyes open wide in an obvious, telling response.
“Oh,” her pink lips form a perfect circle.
My phone buzzes again.
My eyes dart around the bar, scanning every person as I look for the blond hair and blue eyes that I dream about even though I try desperately not to.
“Here you go,” Simons says before I thank him. I take the glass of seltzer splashed with cranberry juice and use the straw to pull the cherry out.
“You okay?” He eyes me, pinning me with keen eyes. I hate that Simon knows me almost better than I know myself.
“Yep,” I hide my face in the glass and wish in this moment that I’d never cut my long, thick hair off. I was always good at hiding behind it even when I was a little kid. I could shield myself from things children shouldn’t see.
Another buzz.
The band plays another three songs and then takes a break. Jenna excuses herself to the bathroom, but I know she wants to meet up with the drummer. They’re friends…with benefits.
“Babe, you’re little, but you have a big ass. Sit here,” Simon pats his lap and slides me over onto both his legs. I give him a reproachful stare. Another buzz. I haven’t looked at my phone since Shane told me he’s here. I don’t know what I’m so afraid of. I see him almost every day, but here, like this, doesn’t feel right.
“Who the fuck is that?” Amara’s raspy voice interrupts my train of thought, causing me to look up and see what she’s talking about.Walking in our direction are two men. I swallow hard and take another sip when Shane’s squinted eyes open wide and even in the dim light, his eyes appear blue like the ocean.
“I thought that was you.” He smiles brightly, but then his face drops immediately, almost pained, when he notices that I’m sitting on Simon’s lap. He looks stunned and maybe a little angry.
“Oh hey!” I grab my drink and remove the tied cherry stem from my mouth. Carefully, I disentangle myself from Simon’s lap to squeeze in between Amara who leans in and whispers something about sharing. Shane takes a small step back as he looks at Simon again. I tap Simon’s shoulder to get his attention before he burns to smithereens from the stares Shane is drilling into the back of his head.
“Simon,” I say when he turns. “This is my friend Shane. Shane, this is Simon.”
If Simon wants to be more obnoxious and blatantly rude, I don’t think it would be possible as he drags his eyes from the top of Shane’s head to the bottom of his black boots and simply nods, uttering, “Sup.” No friendly handshake. No “Hey, how’s it going?” Nothing.
“Hi, I’m Amara.” She extends her hand to Shane. I want to really slap her pretty ass off the chair when she holds his gaze a little too long, offering herself without a single word. My heart starts to beat faster with jealousy even though I have no right to be. None! None whatsoever!
“Hi.” Shane returns the handshake and pulls his eyes away from hers. He looks at me before introducing his friend Collin as Jenna walks up and breaks up our little staring contest.
“Jenna, you know Shane and this is his friend, Collin.”
“Hey. What’s up?” Her smile is bright and cheery; her light brown eyes linger on Collin before she taps Simon and asks him to pass her drink. He does so without so much as a quick pause of his conversation with a skinny cocktail waitress.
“I thought you don’t drink,” Shane says with a hint of accusation.
“That’s not what I said and besides it’s seltzer and cranberry. Want some?” I chuckle even though I’m a little taken aback by his tone. I don’t owe him anything, especially an explanation about the contents of my glass.
As the band makes their way back up onto the stage and Shane finally looks away from me, I draw my eyes away from his face to finally notice what he’s wearing. Dark denim covers his long legs paired with an unbuttoned black shirt that hides the grey V neck T-shirt. I find myself staring at his chest, wondering how the hard muscle would feel beneath my fingertips. His dirty blond hair looks like he’s been running his fingers through it. A surge of jealousy shoots through me again at the thought that maybe he didn’t run his fingers through his hair. What the hell is wrong with me?
“I’m going to get some fresh air,” I state and Simon immediately swings around, causing Amara to yelp when his legs crash into her.
“I’ll go with you.” His eyes flash to mine as he starts to stand. He’s being overprotective again and as much as I shouldn’t be, I’m annoyed.
“No, I’m good.” I give him a warning look that says to back off. Shane is harmless; I’m not worried about my safety. I am, however, worried about my heart that’s been beating a thousand times faster since he’s arrived. Blood rushes through my veins, pooling down below, making me cross my legs to diffuse the throbbing.
Shane leans forward. “Want me to go with you?”
My eyes close briefly and involuntarily when his cologne invades my nose and his breath tickles my ear. I open my mouth to say yes, but nothing comes out so I nod instead. Shane’s hand wraps around mine as he leads me through the crowd toward the exit sign. I take a quick look back to see Jenna talking to Collin. Simon narrows his glassy eyes, scowling at me as his head moves from side to side slowly. I want to run back, hug Simon and reassure him that I’m fine. He doesn’t need to protect me…not from Shane.
“I texted you a few times,” Shane says when we’re finally outside under the green awning. His pacing back and forth makes me a little dizzy. Joey, the doorman, gives me a quick wink to either say hello or let me know that he’s watching out for me.
“Sorry. My phone died,” I say, looking down to concrete sidewalk to hide my lying eyes. “Collin seems nice. Army buddy?”
“Yep.”
“Cool.”
“How long have you been here?”
“Not long.” I shrug, wanting the focus to be on him, I ask, “How was work?”
“Good.”
“Football practice?”
“Good.”
“Any reason you’re giving me one word answers?” I tease as I try to ward off the tension I feel coming from his body.
“Nope.” He laughs quietly before turning to face me. “This,” Shane looks around, “this isn’t me. Going to loud bars to find someone to hook up with isn’t really my thing. Not anymore.” I get the impression he wants to separate himself from the drunks inside.
“I know what you mean.” I offer a tight smile. “But you did ask me to you for a drink, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, but we could’ve gone somewhere quieter,” he offers hesitantly.
I make the mistake of looking up at him. I’m not sure what I see reflected in his eyes, but whatever it is, it’s really intense and I know I could lose myself in him.
