“Have you heard from Luana since we’ve been home?” Ellen asked Mandy.
“Only once, when I called to let her know we’d made it okay.”
“I’ve been meaning to write them and say thank you again for everything they did for us, but other things have taken up my time.”
“I’d have to say you two did a lot for the Hawaiian couple, as well,” Sadie interjected. “You sacrificed by not returning home right away so you could help out when Makaio broke his leg.”
“I didn’t see it as a sacrifice.” Mandy shook her head vigorously. “I enjoyed helping out. And by staying longer, Ellen and I were able to see a lot more things on Kauai then we ever expected. Also, thanks to our friend Ken, I learned how to swim, which I thought I’d never be able to do.”
“That’s wunderbaar, Mandy.” Barbara’s tone was enthusiastic. “Now you can go swimming in the ponds and lakes around here with the rest of your friends.”
I’d rather go swimming in Hawaii, Mandy mused. Then another thought came to mind. Would it be wrong for me to move to Hawaii and begin a new life? What would my family say if I did? Could I be happy living so far away?
Since she hadn’t joined the church yet, Mandy was free to choose what she wanted to do with the rest of her life, but going back to Hawaii would be a major decision, affecting everyone in her family, as well as Gideon.
Mandy determined to give it more time. I haven’t been home long enough to know for certain if this is the life I’m meant to have.
Chapter 33
Middlebury
Excitement welled in Mandy’s soul when she went to the mailbox the first Saturday of August and found a letter from Luana. She hurried back to the house and went straight to her room to read it privately.
Taking a seat on the end of her bed, Mandy tore open the envelope. It had been awhile since she’d heard any news from Hawaii, and she was eager to hear how everyone was doing.
The first part of Luana’s letter was about her granddaughter, Primrose. Mandy read every word as though it was meant to be savored. The baby had grown several inches and started to roll over on her own. Luana said it pleased her to have Ailani working part-time at the B&B again. She brought Primrose with her, of course, and Makaio and Luana took turns watching her while their daughter made up the guest rooms each day. Mandy tried to visualize what the baby looked like and wished Luana had enclosed a picture.
Luana also wrote about the nice weather they’d been having and how well things were doing in her garden.
Mandy smiled, remembering how she had enjoyed spending time in Luana’s garden, even when the weather turned hot and humid. Watching the gentle sway of palm leaves, listening to the birds sing, and breathing in the delicate scent of the tropical flowers in the yard filled her senses. She giggled, remembering how a cardinal had left its calling card on her muumuu.
Mandy stopped reading for a minute, while her mind wandered further. I wonder how Ken is doing. Oh my, I wish I could stop thinking of him.
As she turned the letter over to continue reading, a sudden coldness hit the core of her being. Her voice trembled as she read the next line out loud: “I ran into Ken’s mother the other day when I was at the farmer’s market. Ken has been seeing someone and is planning to get married in November.”
Mandy’s vision blurred as she stared at the words. Could Ken have been seeing someone the whole time Ellen and I were on Kauai and not mentioned it? Maybe it was one of those young women I saw him talking to on the beach the day he’d been surfing. She shifted uneasily on her bed. Or it could be someone he met after we left—perhaps one of the young women on the worship team at his church.
Mandy’s shoulders sagged as she reached up to rub her throbbing temples. She couldn’t help feeling disappointed by this news, but she consoled herself with the knowledge that it was better this way. Ken obviously didn’t care for her the way she did him, or he would have contacted her after she’d come home. Her throat constricted. And he wouldn’t be marrying someone else in November if he’d felt any love for me.
Mandy finished reading Luana’s letter, then with a heavy heart, tucked it inside a box in her closet where she kept mementoes. Glancing down, she spotted the ukulele Makaio had given her, leaning against the closet wall. Holding the instrument the way she’d been taught, she took a seat on her bed again and began to play a song he’d taught her. The longer she played, the more her heart yearned for Ken and the things she’d discovered on the island.
A long-distance relationship with him wouldn’t have worked, and since neither of them was free to leave their homes and families, it was all for the better. He had a fiancée, and she had Gideon. The brief encounter she’d had with Ken while visiting Kauai was like the vog. It swept in one day and was gone the next. Mandy had recovered from her allergic reaction to the vog. She hoped she could set aside her feelings for Ken, as well, and reestablish the relationship she’d once had with Gideon.
Ellen carried the laundry basket outside and set it under the clothesline. It was a beautiful sunny day—not too hot and not too muggy, which made it perfect clothes-drying weather. She was about to pick up a pair of her dad’s trousers when Sadie rode into the yard on her bike.
“This is a nice surprise.” Ellen smiled. “Are you here for a visit or only out for a ride?”
Sadie parked her bike and joined Ellen by the clothesline. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something, so I’m glad you’re here this morning.”
“Okay. We can chat while I hang the clothes, or take a seat at the picnic table under the shade of the maple tree when I’m done.”
“I’ll help you hang the laundry. When we’re finished, we can sit and talk.” Sadie picked up a towel and clipped it to the line.
Once all the wash swayed gently in the breeze, they both took a seat at the picnic table.
“What did you want to talk to me about?” Ellen asked.
“Barbara and Gideon.”
Ellen blinked rapidly. “You mean Mandy and Gideon?”
“No. I’m talking about Gideon and Barbara.”
“What about them?”
“I’ve seen them together several times since Barbara and I got back from Hawaii.” Sadie paused. “Gideon even gave Barbara a ride home from one of the young people’s singings a few months ago.”
“Was this before or after Mandy and I arrived home?”
“It was before, but I saw them together again last night.”
“Where?”
“At the benefit auction in Shipshewana. They were sitting next to each other during most of the bidding.”
Ellen sucked in her lower lip. “Was Mandy there, too?”
Sadie shook her head. “I figured she’d be with Gideon, but when I asked him about her, he said she had a koppweh and didn’t feel up to going.”
“I didn’t go, either. Mom had a dress she wanted to make, so I stayed home to help with it.” Ellen fiddled with the ties on her head covering. “Do you think Gideon’s interested in Barbara?”
Sadie shrugged her shoulders. “Whether he is or not, I believe she’s interested in him. While you and Mandy were on Kauai, Barbara talked a lot about Gideon. She kept saying how sorry she felt for him and that if he was her boyfriend, she’d have come home right away.”
Ellen mulled things over. “Well, as you know, Mandy hasn’t taken classes with us to join the church.”
“Jah, and I’m surprised. If she and Gideon are making plans to be married, she’ll need to get baptized and join.” Sadie rubbed the side of her neck, her tone uncertain. “Maybe things aren’t going well with them because of Barbara.”
Ellen shook her head. “I don’t think it’s Barbara’s fault. Mandy lost interest in Gideon while we were in Hawaii.”
“Are you sure?”
“Jah. She rarely talked about him, and whenever he called, she didn’t talk long at all.” Ellen paused, wondering if she should say more.
“Wonder why? I’ve always heard absenc
e is supposed to make the heart grow fonder.”
Ellen took a deep breath and sighed. “Mandy became infatuated with a young man named Ken. He came over to the B&B to deliver eggs and chicken, and it didn’t take long before he started taking Mandy—and sometimes me—out to see some of the sights on Kauai.”
“Did Mandy tell you she had feelings for Ken?” Sadie questioned.
“Not in so many words, but I could see it in her eyes when they were together and whenever she talked about him.”
“Was he interested in her?”
“I believe he was. That is, until I…” Ellen dropped her gaze as she clasped her hands together in her lap.
“Is there something else you were going to say?”
“Jah.” It wasn’t easy to admit what she’d done, but she needed to get it off her chest. “One evening after a bad storm, Ken came by the B&B to see if everyone was okay. Luana, Makaio, and Mandy had gone to bed, so Ken and I visited a few minutes.” Ellen’s voice cracked. “We talked about Mandy, and in order to discourage Ken from pursuing a relationship with her, I told him Mandy had a boyfriend waiting for her back home, and they were planning to be married.”
“You did the right thing. If I’d been there, I would have told him that, too. It would be horrible for Mandy’s folks and everyone else she’s close to if she’d stayed on Kauai and married an outsider.”
“The time Mandy and I had in Hawaii was good, and I’m glad we had the opportunity to experience it, but it wasn’t our world—the one we were born into and have become a part of since we were bopplin.” Ellen lifted her chin. “Mandy’s future is here with Gideon. We need to make sure no one—not even our friend, Barbara—comes between them.”
Sadie’s forehead wrinkled. “We can pray about the situation and maybe interject our opinion if asked, but the future of our friends is in God’s hands, not ours.”
Gideon shook his horse’s reins to get him moving faster. He was on his way to Mandy’s to take her for a buggy ride and felt anxious to get there. In the months Mandy had been back from her trip, things had been strained between them. She’d often had some excuse not to see him when he suggested they do something together. Since she’d agreed to his invitation this evening, he hoped things would go well. Her distant attitude certainly wasn’t from a lack of him trying. Gideon had invited her out several times, as well as to his folks’ for supper. When Mandy first returned from Hawaii and seemed so distracted, he’d figured it would take a little time before she readjusted to life at home. But it seemed to be taking forever, causing him to have more doubts. He and some of Mandy’s other friends hadn’t joined the church yet, deciding to wait until fall, and hoping Mandy would be part of their group.
Think positively, Gideon told himself as he started up the Freys’ driveway. If things go well tonight, Mandy may agree to take classes in the fall. Then she could join the church and we can be married. It’s something to hope for, at least.
Gideon pulled up to the hitching rail and was pleased when Mandy came out of the house right away and climbed into his rig.
“It’s a nice night for a buggy ride,” she commented, seating herself beside him. “When the sun goes down, I’ll bet we’ll see lots of twinkling stars.”
“I’ll bet, too.” Gideon grinned at her, and a warmth spread through him when she gave a pleasant smile. So far, so good.
As they traveled the back road between Middlebury and Shipshewana, Mandy grew silent, but Gideon kept trying to engage her in conversation. She wasn’t the talkative person she used to be. Before her trip to Hawaii, Mandy always thought of things to say. At times, she could be a real chatterbox.
Barbara talks to me more than Mandy does. Gideon glanced her way and frowned when he realized her eyes were shut. Is she thinking about me or someone else? Could Mandy have fallen asleep?
Mandy had a hard time staying awake. The gentle sway of Gideon’s buggy and the rhythm of the horse’s hooves clip-clopping along the pavement were enough to put anyone to sleep.
“Would you like to stop by the Hitching Post for some frozen yogurt?” Gideon asked when they arrived in Shipshewana.
“No, thank you. I ate too much of my mamm’s zesty meatloaf for supper and don’t have room for anything else. But if you want to stop for some, I’ll sit and watch you eat it.”
“No, it’s okay.” Gideon snapped the reins. “Let’s keep riding.” He turned his rig around and headed back in the direction of Middlebury.
Is he taking me home? Does he think I’m bored? Mandy sat up straight. “How are things going with your job at the upholstery shop? Do you still enjoy working there?”
He nodded. “I’ve been helping out at my mamm’s quilt-and-fabric shop some, too.”
“Bet she appreciates it, but I’m surprised you have the time.”
“I go there after work some afternoons.”
“I figured with Barbara working at the store, your mamm wouldn’t need more help.”
“She gets pretty busy sometimes. Seems there’s always something I can do to help. How do you like working for your daed?”
“It’s okay, but I’d rather work at one of the local restaurants.”
“Why don’t you then?”
“There haven’t been any openings since I got back.”
They rode a short ways in silence, then Gideon guided his buggy onto a dirt road and pulled back on the reins. “Whoa!”
“What are we stopping for?” she asked.
“I … I’ve missed you, Mandy, and I’m hoping we can get back what we once had.” Before Mandy could form a response, Gideon pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Although firm and gentle, like his kisses had always been, it didn’t feel right to her. The kiss lacked the emotion she remembered from Gideon’s kisses. Maybe it’s me. I’m not the same person I was before Hawaii. No matter how hard I’ve tried to get them back, the feelings I once felt for Gideon aren’t there anymore. How can I verbalize this without hurting him?
Mandy was the first to pull away. Unable to look at Gideon, she murmured, “I’m not going to join the church this fall, Gideon, so you’re free to pursue someone else if you like.”
“What?” His mouth hung open.
“I’m not sure if the Amish life is right for me, and it’s not fair to keep you waiting.” She placed her hand on his arm and gave it a gentle tap. “You’re a good friend, and I don’t want to hurt you, but I can’t make any promises at this time.”
“I can wait till you’re sure.” His tone sounded sincere.
“Please don’t. You deserve to be happy.”
“You make me happy, Mandy. You always have.” He clasped her hand. “Will you at least pray about things and give it more time before you make a final decision about not joining the church?”
“Okay, but I can’t make any promises.” Mandy closed her eyes. So much for trying to express my feelings to Gideon. I should have made things more clear. I doubt we’ll ever get back what we once had.
Chapter 34
The first Sunday of October, Mandy sat on a backless wooden bench in her brother Michael’s barn, watching as Gideon, Barbara, Sadie, and Ellen were baptized and received into fellowship in their Amish church. They had waited until fall, hoping she would join, too, but she’d let them all down.
It was a beautiful autumn morning, and the doors of the barn had been left open on both ends, allowing a comfortable breeze to waft through. A fall-like aroma hung in the air, and Mandy breathed deeply of its earthy scent. When a rustling sound caught her attention, her eyes were drawn toward the entrance. A scattering of early fallen leaves had been captured in the draft and made their way inside, swirling in circles across the barn floor. Mandy’s gaze followed the dancing leaves until they disappeared and whooshed out the opposite door.
When someone sneezed, Mandy hunched her shoulders and focused on her friends up front. She remained that way until her brother’s new puppy barked from outside, seemingly disgruntled for not getting any attention. Mich
ael had surprised his new bride with a little basset hound a few weeks after they were married and said he’d chosen that type of dog because they were good with children. The puppy was adorable, and it was comical to watch it tripping over its own floppy ears. Mandy suspected by next year sometime she’d probably be an aunt. At least one happy event might be happening in the year to come.
A feeling of guilt swept over her. It felt awful to disappoint Mom and Dad by not being one of the candidates for baptism this morning, which meant no open door for her to be married in the Amish church anytime soon. Her friends were disheartened, too. Part of Mandy wanted to be free to explore her feelings and decide what she wanted to do with the rest of her life, but she also was drawn to joining the Amish fellowship. It was like being on a teeter-totter: up and down, up and down, as she tried to decide what to do. Should she have taken classes and joined the church with her friends? She couldn’t answer that question right now.
Mandy stared at her hands, clasped firmly in her lap. But I wasn’t ready. Next spring was a long way off, and unless something happened to change her mind, she would follow through with her decision to join the church then—for her family’s sake, if nothing else.
As Gideon took his seat after being baptized and welcomed into fellowship with the church, he glanced quickly in Mandy’s direction, noticing how forlorn she appeared, looking down at her lap. He felt disappointed she hadn’t been part of their group today—especially when they had all waited until fall, hoping she would join them. Even harder was trying to come to grips with her reason for not taking classes and joining. Was it because she wanted to do something different with her life, or had Mandy refused to take classes because she didn’t want to marry him? Gideon had committed himself to the church and wondered if Mandy ever would. She seemed like an outsider looking in—living among them, but not one of them.
Back in August when he’d taken Mandy for a buggy ride, her mood at times seemed cheerful. He’d felt enthusiasm one minute and disappointment the next—especially after she’d told him he was free to find someone else. Maybe I should have listened to her then, instead of holding out false hope.
The Hawaiian Quilt Page 23
