by Nan Dixon
Carolina and Sage walked behind her as they moved through the halls.
“How did you meet Carolina?” Mamá asked again.
“She ran into me.”
“With a car?” Mamá exclaimed.
“No. A chair.” Sage set his hand on the small of Carolina’s back. “I was a little rocky on my feet, especially after meeting your beautiful daughter. She looks just like you.”
Mamá laughed. “Where did you learn your sweet-talking ways, young man?”
Sage’s laugh was low and made Carolina remember the way his groan rolled through her when he was deep inside her body. Her face heated like a curling iron set on high.
“I think from living in Savannah. There’s a way about you Georgians.”
They arrived at the radiation unit.
“Good luck.” Carolina brushed a kiss on her mother’s cheek.
“She should be done in about thirty minutes.” The orderly pushed Mamá through the swinging doors.
“We’ll be waiting.” But her mother was already gone. Carolina touched the door.
They watched through the window as Mamá was wheeled into the next room. A large machine dominated the space.
Sage put his arm around Carolina’s shoulders and pulled her into his chest. “Stay positive.”
She leaned into his strength. “Thank you for being here.”
“You’re welcome.” He brushed a kiss on her head.
“It’s not a cure.” The words were like broken glass ripping through her chest. “It’s only to make her comfortable.”
“But it might stop her seizures. She could go home.” He squeezed her shoulders. “You’ve got to have hope.”
Hope. She clung to the word. She wanted both Mamá and Sage to be healthy. But her mother would need a miracle. And if Sage got healthy, she wouldn’t see him as often. She shivered. When had she become so dependent on his strength?
Sage held her tighter. “Are you cold?”
“No.” She wasn’t cold. She was afraid.
CHAPTER SEVEN
SAGE BRUSHED A kiss on Carolina’s cheek and slipped out of her bed, trying not to wake her. It was early, but he’d never broken the ranch habit of rising with the roosters.
Carolina had been quiet yesterday. He hadn’t been able to break through the sorrow that had settled over her during her mother’s radiation treatment. She may have smiled at the customers while she’d worked, but she’d never shaken her shroud of sadness.
Instead of making love last night, he’d held her. She’d clung to him like he was her lifeline. Was it wrong to feel good that she needed him?
After finishing in the bathroom, he headed to the kitchen to make coffee. And stopped halfway across the room. He hadn’t grabbed the wall to stop the vertigo.
For the first time in six weeks, he wasn’t dizzy. His breath picked up. Was he healing? Could he get back to his job?
He glanced at Carolina’s shopping list pinned to a corkboard. The words swam but came into focus. Almost.
He couldn’t wait to tell Carolina. This was fantastic. He imagined her breaking into a grin and jumping into his arms. He’d be able to catch her without worrying they’d tumble.
He wanted to run straight to the doctor, but ten minutes wasn’t enough time to be sure everything was back in working order. And Carolina needed him.
Digging in the fridge, he found bacon, eggs and cheese. A search through the cupboards didn’t reveal any bread, so he went with scrambled eggs.
He rolled his shoulders. Glory be, it didn’t make his head ache.
“You’re up early,” Carolina mumbled.
“Habit. Sit. You still look exhausted.” He poured her a cup of coffee and handed it to her along with the milk.
“Thanks. Yesterday was hard.”
He flipped the bacon sizzling in the pan, then cracked eggs into a bowl. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He’d asked her the same question yesterday but she hadn’t said anything.
“It hit me.” Carolina closed her eyes.
“What?” He was trying to keep his voice neutral. Let her talk instead of hammering the issues out of her.
“That what they were doing wasn’t going to put her in remission.” Her voice broke. “It might only make her more comfortable.”
Wiping his hands on the towel tucked in his shorts, he picked her up and sat, holding her on his lap. “I’m so sorry.”
If he could take away her pain, he would. He almost made an inane comment that she’d had her mother longer than she’d had her father. How insensitive would that have been? The best he could come up with was, “It’s hard to see someone you love suffer.”
Tears streaked her cheeks. “And what’s worse, I’m starting to depend on you. You’re always here, helping me, holding me.” She nestled back into his chest. Her shoulders shook.
He brushed a kiss on her dark curls. “I’m here for you.”
“But only because you’re on medical leave.” Her shoulders shook harder. “I’m so selfish, I don’t want you to get well.”
His arms tightened around her, more in shock than in comfort. She didn’t want him to get well?
But he understood. She was going through so much.
He rolled his neck. Not having a headache when he woke didn’t matter when measured against the realization that Carolina was losing her mother to cancer. So he didn’t share his good news.
* * *
CAROLINA PASTED ON a smile and pushed open her mother’s hospital door. She shouldn’t have told Sage the truth last week. What idiot tells the man in her life, she hoped he didn’t get better? She was selfish. Stupid.
If Sage was smart he would run from the Castillo craziness.
Her mother stared at the television, a vacant look on her face. Seizure? Fear had her running to her bed. “Mamá.”
Her mother’s gaze lifted. Her expression blank, hopeless. “My face hurts.”
“Do you need lotion?”
“Yes.” Her voice cracked.
Carolina pulled the jar from her mother’s makeup bag. Gently, she rubbed cream on the spots that looked like a sunburn. “Is that better?”
“I guess.” Her mother’s skin had a gray cast. Over the last few days she’d been nauseous and had trouble eating.
“I brought you dessert from the restaurant. I thought you could eat it after your treatment.”
“I’m not hungry.” Her mother waved her hand. The veins in her hand showed through her skin. “Set it on the table.”
“Okay.” She bit her lip. Even a few days ago her mother would have asked what the treat was. But since her first radiation treatment last week, she’d become listless. Even the teacup Carolina had given her over the weekend hadn’t cheered her mother up.
Goose bumps pebbled her skin. She wished Sage was there, just to hold her hand, but he had his own doctor’s appointment this afternoon.
“Did you bring me something?” Her mother pushed at her hair.
“I didn’t work yesterday, remember?”
“I want Poppy’s globe.” Her mother pursed her lips. “I gave it to your daddy. I want it back.”
“Mamá, there are so many rooms in Fitzgerald House, I wouldn’t know where to look.” If Mamá asked for more things, she planned to stop at the gift shop again. But she hadn’t seen any globes there.
“The oceans are made from lapis. I love that globe. Poppy brought it here from Spain.” Her mother’s fingers flexed and formed fists.
Please don’t let her have a seizure. “Mamá, take a deep breath.”
“But...”
“Please, Mamá.” She started to hum “Hotel California.” It was the first song that came to mind.
“Your daddy and I danced to that once. It’s a very long, long song.” Her mother got a d
reamy expression on her face.
They laughed.
Carolina stopped and pulled out her notebook. “What did you sing in your sets? I need ideas.”
Maybe having her mother come up with songs would keep her from stressing out and having a seizure.
“My song list? Let me think.” Her mother sat straighter. “I opened with Carole King’s ‘Natural Woman.’ Then I would sing—what was it called?” Her mother hummed a few bars, a song that she’d sung around the house all the time.
“Is that ‘Spinning Wheel’? Or something like that?”
“Yes. Yes!” Mamá’s eyes were almost too bright. “At some point I would sing ‘Endless Love’—I loved that song.”
Her mother named classic ’80s and ’90s songs. Carolina wrote them down as fast as they left her mother’s mouth. Some of the songs might work.
“Sometimes I would throw in ’40s music for Poppy and my mother.” Her mother bounced on the bed. “‘God Bless the Child.’ That was always a hit. And don’t forget ‘Summertime.’”
“Your memory’s so good,” Carolina said.
“It’s music.” Her mother shrugged. “Have you been practicing?”
“I don’t have a place to practice.”
“You can’t stop practicing.” Mamá leaned forward. “You don’t need a piano to do your vocal exercises. What did I teach you?”
It had been easy in her apartment in Nashville. Ella had owned a piano.
“I wish I hadn’t sold our piano,” Mamá said. “Wait. There’s an electric keyboard in the attic.”
“I’ll find it.” Carolina should practice. Between her mother and Sage, she’d forgotten the basics. They just didn’t seem important based on what her mother...and Sage...were facing.
After Teri came in with a wheelchair, Carolina pushed her mother down the hallway to the treatment center. As they passed the nursing station, Sage exited the elevator.
“Good timing.” He handed her mother a box of chocolates. “For you.”
“Aren’t you sweet?” She let the box sit in her lap. “Maybe after the treatment.”
Sage took over pushing. Carolina bumped his shoulders. “I think you’re trying to butter up my mother.”
Sage leaned down to her mamá. “Is it working?”
“Oh, you.” Mamá tapped his hand but when she turned around, a smile filled her face. Her mother loved flirting with handsome men.
Thank you, Carolina mouthed. “How was your appointment?”
“Later,” he whispered.
Was he going back to work? She bit her lip, hating her selfishness.
“There you are, Ms. Castillo.” The tech took the wheelchair from Sage and they watched Mamá enter the treatment area.
“It was nice that you brought her chocolate,” Carolina said as they sat on the sofa in the waiting area.
“I know you’re worried about her weight loss.” He shrugged. “It seemed like something easy I could do to help you.”
She rested her head against his shoulder and sighed. “If you keep this up, I’ll fall in love with you.”
He froze.
Carolina’s muscles turned to granite.
She was an idiot. She couldn’t look at him. How could she have said something so flip? So stupid? Her face burned. If she could rewind time, she would tape her mouth shut.
“Carolina?” His low voice rumbled.
“Yes?” She stared at her clenched fists.
“Honey?” His arm tightened around her shoulders. With his free hand, he tipped up her chin.
“What?” Her lips trembled.
He brushed his mouth on hers. “I hope you’re falling in love with me. Because I’m falling in love with you.”
Heat flashed through her body. She stared into his cool, evergreen eyes. “You’re...falling in love with me?”
A smile slipped across his face, brightening the room. “I am.”
Now her whole body shook. “That’s incredible.”
Her stupid wish that he wouldn’t get well hadn’t made him run for the hills. They were falling in love. Together.
* * *
“ELLA, HOW ARE YOU?” Carolina juggled her cell phone and keys as she locked the apartment door to head to work. She’d volunteered to take Naomi’s lunch shift.
“I’m hoping you have a sofa or a piece of floor I can sleep on in Tybee for a few days.”
“You’re coming to visit?” Carolina grinned.
“I found the last of your stuff and got a gig in Hilton Head. It doesn’t start for a couple of weeks, but I thought... I miss you.” There were tears in her friend’s voice.
She could tell there was more to Ella’s decision, but if her friend was coming to visit, Carolina should have plenty of time to worm the information out of her. “Of course you can stay.”
“How’s your mama?”
Carolina gave Ella a quick update. It sounded so clinical. Seizures. Hospital stays. Radiation treatments. But each description ripped holes into the fabric holding her together.
“I’m sorry,” Ella said.
“Thank you.” Carolina took a deep breath, trying to push her despair aside. “How long will you be here?”
“I’ve got about five weeks before I have to be in Hilton Head, but a friend wanted to sublease the apartment. Maybe a couple of weeks?”
“It’s perfect.” Then she remembered she was staying in Abby’s apartment. “Oh, shoot, I’m staying in Savannah.”
“Is that a problem?”
“I’ll have to check. I hope not.” She pulled open the restaurant’s back door and spoke over the clatter of pans and voices filling the kitchen. “Would you like to work while you’re here?”
“With you?” There was the normal Ella energy. “Absolutely.”
“I’m working on something, so it might not happen.”
“Make it happen. I love playing for you.”
They signed off.
She tucked her purse in a locker and pulled on her shirt. She’d check with Abby on having guests in the apartment. Then ask about using Ella as her accompanist.
Cheryl looked up from the flat-top range. “Hey, Carolina, how’s your mother?”
“The treatments are wearing her out.”
“I’m sorry.” Cheryl brushed a stray strand of pale blond hair back from her cheek with her shoulder. “I hope she improves.”
“So do I.” Carolina rested her hands against the stainless-steel counter. “Is Abby here?”
“In her office.” Cheryl tipped her head to the side of the kitchen.
“Thanks.” Should she interrupt her now or wait?
She had ten minutes before her shift started, so she headed to Abby’s tiny office.
Instead of finding Abby alone, the room was filled.
“Hi, Carolina.” Abby waved her in. “Is there something you need?”
“I...” Dolley was there and a third woman sat on top of a low file case. Was that her other half sister? Her heart tried to pound its way out of her chest. “We can talk later.”
“Now’s fine. They were just leaving.” Abby asked, “Have you met my sisters?”
“We met the other day.” Dolley frowned, staring at Carolina’s face. “Doesn’t she look like Dana?”
Abby frowned. “Maybe.”
“Our cousin?” the other woman asked.
“Yes.” Dolley wouldn’t look away.
Carolina’s chest rose and fell with her panting breath.
“I don’t see it.” The woman with the long, curly, red hair held out her hand. “I’m Bess.”
“Nice to meet you.” Carolina hoped the words didn’t come out scrambled. She was with her half sisters and they had no clue.
“Don’t forget, dinner tonight,” Abby called as Bess and Dolley left.
/>
“Free food. Who can forget that?” Dolley called back.
“Why don’t you come, too?” Abby asked.
“Me?” Carolina’s voice squeaked.
“Sure.” Abby looked at a schedule on her desk. “You’re only working lunch today, right?”
“I...yes. But I was going to fix something for a...friend...for dinner.” Could she get any more tongue-tied?
“Bring him or her along.”
Would she fall apart if she was around the Fitzgeralds? People who didn’t know who she was to them?
“Join us.” Abby moved around the desk. “It’ll be fun.”
Fun. There hadn’t been much of that in her life—other than Sage. “Thank you. I would appreciate one of your meals.”
“With the stress from your mother in the hospital, you deserve a break.” Abby touched her arm. “How is she doing? Has the radiation helped?”
Carolina recited the facts again.
“I hope she gets better,” Abby said.
“I wanted to know if you need me to move out of the apartment. We never set a deadline.”
“Are they talking about releasing your mother?”
Carolina shook her head. “They haven’t said anything.”
“Then stay.”
Carolina bit her lip. “Is it a problem if a friend bunks with me?”
“The handsome man I’ve seen leave the apartment some mornings?” Abby grinned. “He works with Kaden, right?”
Carolina’s blush burned her face. “Not him. It’s my accompanist. She’s heading to Hilton Head for a gig and wanted to drop by for a while.”
“Of course. It’s your place to use.” Abby raised her eyebrows. “Accompanist?”
“That’s the other thing I wanted to ask. If you did get a piano, she could play instead of using a karaoke machine. At least until she has to leave.”
Abby stood, tapping her lip. “Perfect. I love this. We never really talked about compensation. I’ve done some research, but I’d like to know how much you’d like to get paid.”
Carolina and Abby discussed pay and number of sets. Abby was more than fair with her offer.
“Let me know the exact day your accompanist is arriving.” Abby grinned. “If things work out, maybe she’ll stay in Savannah.”
