by K. C. Lynn
The way she stares up at him, wide-eyed and fixated, brings a cold realization. She’s becoming attached—too attached. He shouldn’t be doing this. It’s not fair. Not to her or me.
“Can I talk to you outside for a minute?” I’m unable to mask the bite in my tone and he senses it.
After a nod in my direction, he looks down at my sister again, flashing her that smirk of his. “I’ll see you later, pretty girl.”
Her cheeks turn pink at the compliment. “B-ye, Aus-din.”
I follow him out the door, feeling myself drowning in mixed emotions.
He wastes no time turning on me, crossing his arms over his chest. “What’s the problem, Zoey?”
“You shouldn’t be here,” I tell him, hating the words as soon as they leave my mouth.
“Why?”
“She’s getting too attached.”
“I just stopped in to say hi. What’s wrong with that?”
“Everything is wrong with that,” I snap. “What happens when the time comes that you walk away? Who is going to explain that to her then?”
“Who said anything about walking away?”
“No one else has ever stuck around, why would you?”
He straightens, frustration masking his expression. “I thought we were past this, Zoey.”
“So did I but you keep pushing. At every turn, there you are, interjecting yourself when I keep telling you I can’t do this. It isn’t fair!”
His warm brown eyes shut out any emotion but anger. He takes a step forward, his furious face inches before mine. “No. What you’re doing isn’t fair. Let’s be honest, you aren’t protecting your sister. You’re protecting yourself because you are scared.”
I grind my teeth at the truth he says, a truth I can’t face.
“You isolate yourself from anyone who tries to get close and I’m fucking tired of it. You want me gone? Fine, have it your way. I’m out of here.”
Before I even have a chance to apologize and make things right, he’s gone, leaving my already mangled heart bleeding on the floor.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Austin
My hammer is heavy and hard as I furiously drive a nail into another board, practically putting a fucking hole through it. The blistering sun has started to descend but I’m not ready to quit for the day. I still have too much aggression to work out.
It’s been almost twenty-four hours since my run-in with Zoey and I’m no less pissed off than I was last night. I’m angry at her…angry at myself.
I’ve been living here for a month now and I’m constantly reminded of the unforgettable night I spent with the girl who left before the morning sun, leaving her memory behind and scent lingering on my skin.
I should have backed off then but it’s hard when I know how much she wants this. I see it in the way she looks at me, with the same need and longing I have for her.
I went to the hospital last night to check on the little boy I pulled from the fire, unable to get his scared, pleading eyes out of my head. After seeing him and finding out he would pull through despite his extensive injuries, I stopped in to see Chrissy. I needed something good to finish off the night. I didn’t think it would be a big deal.
Clearly, I was wrong.
Teeth grinding, I go grab the last board from the bed of my truck, laying into it the same way I have all the others. I’m done playing hot and cold. Zoey wants me gone, I’m gone. For good.
The ache that thought brings on is fierce but I shove it away, allowing my anger to override all else. It hurts a hell of a lot less…
Minutes later, a car drives down the long gravel road that leads to my house. Looking over my shoulder, I blink the sweat away and find it’s none other than the woman who’s wreaking havoc on my patience and cock.
Zoey steps out of the car and the shift I get in my chest at the sight of her in a simple yellow sundress makes me want to kick myself in the face. She looks innocent, sweet…vulnerable. It pisses me off even more which is why I return to my task at hand and ignore her.
“Hey,” she greets with that soft voice of hers, walking up behind me.
Bang.
Bang.
Bang.
“I called you earlier.”
Bang.
Bang.
Bang.
“I also left a message.”
Bang.
Bang.
Bang.
“You wouldn’t happen to be pretending it’s my face you’re hammering right now, are you?” Amusement coats her tone as she attempts the joke.
I want to hammer her all right but not the way she’s thinking…
I leave that thought unfinished and continue to ignore her even though I really want to turn around and kiss the shit out of her.
I’m fucking pathetic.
Just then I send the hammer into my thumb like an asshole, inflicting excruciating pain. “Goddamn it. Motherfucker, piece of shit!” I throw the hammer across the yard then kick the board before turning to face the woman I’m really pissed off at. “What do you want?”
She takes a step back, swallowing nervously. “I came to apologize.”
“Save it. I don’t want to hear it.” I stomp across the yard, needing to put some distance between us before I do something really stupid. Like cave to those blue irises.
“Please, give me the chance to explain.”
I whip around, finding her right behind me. “Explain what, Zoey? How you’re always pushing me away? How you use me as your punching bag when you need to let off some steam? Or maybe you’re sorry about the way you use your sister as a crutch so you don’t have to face your own shit.”
It’s a low blow and I know it. The pain that washes over her face strikes my angry heart like a carving knife.
She shakes her head. “Never mind. This was a mistake.” She turns her back on me, fleeing for her car, but there’s no chance in hell I’m letting her run away.
Not this time.
“I don’t think so, baby.” I charge after her, my fingers gripping her arm as I whirl her back around to face me. “You came all this way for something. What is it? Tell me what you fucking want from me.”
“Your friendship!” she wails.
“Well maybe I can’t be your friend anymore, Zoey. Not when you’re constantly looking at me like you want me to fuck you all the time.”
Her eyes narrow at the truth, one she refuses to accept. “You’re such an asshole.”
She tries to pull away but I yank her closer. My hard cock presses into her stomach, begging for any part of her. Her pretty pink lips part, cheeks flushing from anger and desire, the same emotions roaring through my veins.
“Tell me you don’t want this,” I say, my face only an inch from hers. “Tell me right now that you don’t want me the same way I do you and I’ll drop it for good. I will work past these feelings and be nothing but your friend.”
She gazes up at me, her eyes conveying what I already know. What I have always known. “It’s not that simple.”
“The hell it isn’t!”
“I have responsibilities, Austin! People I need to put before myself. Why can’t you understand that?”
“Stop using her as an excuse!”
“Why should I get to be happy when she’ll never be?” she yells, finally laying out the truth. “She will never get to love someone. She will never get to feel someone’s loving touch. So why the hell should I?” The last of her words fall on a heartbreaking sob. “It should have been me. She doesn’t deserve this.”
I quickly realize this is far more than fear. She’s punishing herself.
“Zoey…” I trail off, shaking my head.
“You always do this. You always push!” She lashes out, her fists striking my bare chest in a fit of rage. “Fuck you for making this harder on us both!”
I grab her wrists, stopping the attack, and seize her mouth with my own, claiming what I can’t bring myself to let go, to set free from the imprisonment she has ove
r me.
Her response is quick, fingers spearing through my hair. It’s the match to the gasoline, igniter to my flame, throwing us into a combustible heat. When her teeth nip my lip, hard enough to draw blood, I become unhinged.
Growling, I reach down and hoist her up. Her legs lock around my waist, hot center grinding against my stomach.
“Tell me you want it,” I demand, my mouth never faltering its assault.
“I want it.” The words fall on nothing more than a breathless whisper but the impact they carry, the truth they hold, fall upon my ears like the sweetest fucking symphony.
Within a few steps, I have her on her back on a dirty blanket in the bed of my truck. I reach under her dress, ripping her satin panties from her hips while she works on my belt.
Once my cock is freed, she eagerly guides me to her entrance, our bodies both moving for the other’s, reaching for that mind-numbing pleasure that will destroy us both. The moment I drive in, she thrusts up, burying me to the hilt.
“Fuck me!” My head drops back on my shoulders, swimming with pleasure as my entire fucking world is rocked for a second time.
“Austin, please.” The desperate plea quivers past her lips, her need colliding with my own.
I fuck her hard and fast, releasing the desire I have burning in my soul. One that rages only for her. Her back arches, fingers gripping the blanket over her head while mine sink into her hips. I give her everything we have both wanted since that first night. What she’s so hell-bent on fighting.
The reminder has my anger rushing back to the surface. “You feel this, Zoey?” I ask on a growl. “You feel how fucking right this is? This is what you’re denying us both!”
Regret flashes in her eyes, mixing with the desire. “I’m sorry,” she chokes out.
I still deep inside of her, her grief changing the moment entirely. Leaning down, I brush my lips against hers, tasting her tears. “Don’t cry, baby.”
She wraps her arms around my neck, hugging me close. “I want this. I want you. So much.”
“I’m yours, Zoey. I always have been, all you have to do is take me.”
A moment of truth passes between us as I remain seated deep inside her. Her hands move to my face, pulling my mouth down to hers, taking what she’s been so afraid to admit. I drink her pain and fear, inhaling it as my own, and pick up where I left off, my cock pumping hard and deep.
Her breath races against my lips as she rides the edge of destruction I’m so desperate to keep her on.
“Austin.” There’s fear in her voice as she fights the orgasm trying to claim her.
“I got you, Zoey girl. Let go. I promise to catch you.”
Our gazes lock, mine begging for trust and hers seeking redemption. I finally win. Her eyes drift shut as she falls blindly into pleasure.
Heat licks down my spine, my jaw locking and teeth grinding as I fight like hell to hold back. “Are you on the pill, Zoey?”
Her eyes spring open, clouded with ecstasy. “Yes.” She wraps a leg around my back, seating me deeper inside. “Don’t pull out. I want all of you.”
My hips unleash, pounding into her over and over. A growl shreds my throat as I finally spill myself inside her, marking her like I’ve never marked another.
I bury my face in her neck as I try to comprehend what the hell she’s doing to me, to understand the feelings she evokes, but when it comes to this woman in my arms, sometimes there is no understanding. Only feeling.
CHAPTER NINE
Zoey
The moon begins to make its appearance, a million stars hovering above us as I lie draped across Austin’s chest in the bed of his truck, the steady rhythm of his heart beating beneath my cheek. His fingers dance along my back while mine sweep across his hard stomach.
Silence graces us, nothing but the sound of Mother Nature whispering in the distance. For the first time in months, everything in my world feels right and it only thickens the guilt I harbor inside.
“You’re right. I’m scared,” I whisper into the dark, admitting a truth I haven’t been able to face. One he deserves to hear.
His fingers still, waiting for what I will say next.
“I’ve lost everyone who was supposed to love me and every day I fight to not lose my sister, too. The thought of taking this and eventually losing you…it scares me to death.”
Silence hangs thick, my anxious heart fearing I’ve messed this up too much this time and he won’t forgive me, despite what just happened between us.
“You’re scared I’m going to leave you, and I’m fucking terrified that I’ll never be able to.”
My eyes close in regret, the magnitude of what that means bearing down on me.
“Yet here we are. Somehow always ending up right where we’re meant to be.”
The truth settles around my heart like a warm fire. He rolls me to my back, situating himself between my open thighs. His face hangs inches from mine, his usual patient eyes burning in frustration.
“I don’t want to be your friend anymore, Zoey. I’ve tried, really fucking tried, but I want more. I want this right here.” His thumb strokes my cheek, gentle and soothing just like the man himself.
“I do too,” I admit softly, my fingers circling his wrist as I lean into his touch. “I really am sorry about yesterday. I wasn’t upset with you. I wasn’t even upset you were there to see her. She loved it. She loves you…”
My words trail off as I think about how disappointed Chrissy was when I walked back into her room without him. It made me feel even worse.
“I had a run-in with my mother,” I tell him, anger thickening my throat. “She came to see me at the bar.”
His curious eyes search mine. “What did she want?”
“Money,” I answer, practically spitting the word. “She didn’t even bother to ask about Chrissy or even me for that matter. All she cared about was herself and supporting her habit.”
“Did you tell her to fuck off?” His voice is tight, laced with anger.
“Not in those exact words but yeah, I did. Then she said we were the worst mistakes of her life,” the admission falls on a sad whisper. I hate myself for it. Hate that I even let her evoke that emotion from me anymore.
He rests his forehead on mine, his warm gaze penetrating soul deep. “Well you’re the best mistake of mine.”
My heart dances to a new beat, the beautiful words proving it’s not broken beyond repair. “A mistake?” I ask, quirking a brow.
“You tell me. Are you going to keep pushing me away, denying what we both want?”
The answer I want to give dangles in the back of my throat, and he senses my hesitation.
“Talk to me, Zoey. For once, just lay it all out.”
I think about a disease that has not only affected my sister’s life but mine, too. “I never thought my life would be like this. I had so many plans to live out my dream as a photographer, to get away from my parents’ toxic relationship. I was going to leave town and never look back. Then Chrissy was born and the opposite happened. I don’t regret it, not even for a second. But some days are hard, really hard, and I’m so tired,” I confess, feeling guilty for the admission.
“It’s okay to be tired, Zoey. It’s a lot for one person to take on, but you don’t have to do it alone. I’m right here, willing to take it with you. You just have to let me.”
My hand moves to the side of his face, fingers fanning his jaw as I gaze back into his warm eyes. “I don’t deserve you.”
“You’re wrong. You deserve this. You deserve to be happy.”
Swallowing thickly, I tell him what I struggle with most. “Every day I walk into that hospital and always wonder, why her and not me? It’s not fair.”
“You’re right, it’s not, but her disease is not your fault. You have to stop punishing yourself. There’s a reason you’re here with me and I’m selfishly thankful for that.”
I have to wonder if he’s right. Maybe he’s my reason just as much as I’m Chrissy’s reaso
n…
Deep, dark eyes that are filled with patience and understanding peer down at me as he brushes a piece of hair from my face. “Let me in, Zoey. Let me love you the way you deserve.”
Love, it can be meant in so many different ways. I know that if I let this man in that the love between us could be the one that never dies. It’s terrifying yet tempting all at once. An offer I can no longer refuse because I also know he will love my sister too, and if anyone deserves more love, it’s her.
“You’re impossible to turn down, Hawke. You know that?”
“Is that a yes?”
I wrap my arms around his neck, a soft smile teasing my lips. “That’s a yes.”
His mouth splits into a sexy smirk. “About fucking time.”
A giggle escapes me that is effectively cut off by his mouth. He kisses me slow and deep, his tongue parting my lips and sliding inside to do an erotic dance.
I drown in his essence, my heart and body soaring for more. With more confidence than I feel, I push him to his back and crawl over top of him, my knees straddling his hips. Reaching down, I grab the material at my waist and pull my sundress over my head, unveiling more than just my body, but all of me.
Every broken, damaged piece.
His sharp inhale penetrates the air as his eyes turn to liquid fire. “All fucking mine,” he growls, reaching up to palm my breasts. “Tell me, baby. Tell me you’re mine.”
“I’m yours.”
They are suddenly the easiest words I’ve ever said.
“Show me.”
Biting my lip, I grab his hard cock between us and slide down on it. Our moans mingle in the heated night air. My hands brace on his hard stomach as I rock my hips, taking him deep.
“That’s it, Zoey girl. Ride me hard.” He sits up, banning an arm around my back as his lips press to the base of my throat, traveling their way down before latching onto a hard, pink nipple.
Pleasure dances along my skin, the stars above me blurring as I drop my head back and become lost in the perfect world he and I create.
For the rest of the night, we lose ourselves in each other. Hands and lips, heated touches and desires. We make passionate love until the morning sun wakes us then we do it all over again as I finally let this man have all of me.
