Daring to Start Again: An Inspirational Historical Romance Book

by Grace Clemens

  “How wonderful!” Clara gushed. “You are a dancer, just like an angel.”

  Sam stopped spinning and swayed a bit where she’d made herself dizzy. She rushed to Clara and wrapped her arms around the woman’s waist. “I can dance for you, Clara! When you can’t dance, I will dance for you!” She broke away and danced around the room exuberantly.

  Sarah watched the girl in amazement. She wasn’t the least bit shy and had an energy about her Sarah didn’t remember having as a child.

  “Sam, you need to say hello to our new friend, Sarah,” Bobby said. “Sarah, this is my daughter, Samantha. We all call her Sam or Sammy.”

  Sarah took a step toward the girl, who had stopped dancing and was staring at her.

  “Hello, Sam. You do look beautiful dancing in that pretty dress of yours.”

  Sam wasn’t smiling anymore. It made Sarah fight off a trembling episode. Her chest tightened with anxiety, and she looked over her shoulder at Clara with worried eyes.

  “Who are you?” Sam asked, narrowing her blue eyes.

  Bobby came forward, his face red with embarrassment. “Sam, I told you this is Sarah. She’s going to stay with us. She’s going to be your new mommy.”

  Sam frowned. Sarah didn’t like seeing the look on the child’s face, especially when it was in connection with her. She didn’t want the little girl to not like her. She held out her hand, but Sam didn’t take it until Bobby moved forward and lifted her arm, putting her hand in Sarah’s. That wasn’t the way Sarah wanted it but she shook anyway, just briefly, before letting go.

  “I don’t need a new mommy, Papa,” Sam said firmly, turning to her father and putting her hands on her waist. “I have Clara.”

  Sarah was stunned by the girl’s clarity and logic at such a young age.

  Bobby frowned. “You are being rude, Sammy. Apologize to Sarah. She hasn’t done anything to you.”

  Sam looked at Sarah but said nothing. After a lengthy pause, she squeaked out, “I’m sorry you’ll never be my mommy.”

  She ran from the room, with Bobby calling after her loudly. He went after his daughter, giving Sarah an apologetic look.

  Sarah felt like she’d been stabbed in the heart. What was it about her that people didn’t like? She couldn’t get her father’s approval or love. Now this five-year-old had dealt her a blow like a heavyweight champion. All Sarah wanted to do was crawl into a hole and hide away till death came.

  She returned to the couch with tears in her eyes, sitting and covering her face with both hands. She felt Clara sit next to her and put her arm around Sarah’s shoulders.

  “Oh, my goodness,” Clara said in an astonished voice. “I’ve never seen her act like that before. I am so sorry, Sarah. I can only think she must be acting that way because she caught on that you were with her papa, and now he won’t have as much time for her.”

  Sarah gazed at Clara, pulling her hands down. “Is she really smart enough to comprehend that?”

  Clara lifted her eyebrows. “Oh, yes. She is extremely smart. She’s never ever been that way with me, but she knows I’m not her mother and I’m not with her papa. At the end of the day, I go home to my family and she’s here alone with him. I know they do a lot of things together. She must see you as a threat.”

  Sarah was dismayed. How was she supposed to convince the child she wasn’t trying to take away her papa? She didn’t even know if the marriage would work to begin with.

  “I don’t want to come in between them. I don’t want her to hate me or resent me.” She covered her face again, leaning forward.

  “Don’t despair,” Clara said encouragingly. “Bobby will talk to her. Everything will be all right.”

  The two heard a commotion from outside the room when the door opened. It wasn’t Bobby and Sam coming back. It was two children and a man Sarah could only assume were Clara’s family members.

  “Clara! Where you at?” The man called out before turning his head and looking through the open parlor doors. “Oh, hell, I didn’t even see ya there.”

  “Steve!” Clara scolded with a smile, standing up. “Language! In front of your children, too.” She clucked her tongue, walking toward her husband and children, who were coming to meet her with their arms outstretched.

  They gave hugs and kisses all around.

  “So, where is the little she-devil?” Steven asked, looking around.

  “Steve! Will you stop!” Clara slapped her husband playfully on the arm and the two of them laughed. Clara turned her eyes to Sarah.

  “He’s such a tease. He loves that little girl and he knows it. He just doesn’t want her to know how much. She might take advantage of it and get him to take her riding more than three or four times a week.”

  Steven lifted his eyebrows. “Is it that often? Surely not.”

  The two laughed.

  Sarah studied Clara’s family. She couldn’t believe Steven, the foreman of the ranch that was now her home, was so incredibly huge compared to his tiny wife. Their children were cute and smiled at Sarah right away.

  “You must be Sarah,” the older girl said, walking over with her hand out. Sarah was impressed and shook the girl’s hand in a professional way.

  “I am. And you are?”

  “I’m Bianca. This is my pa, Steven. He’s the foreman here. And that’s Billy. He’s my little brother. He’s six. And you know my ma, I guess.”

  Sarah grinned, standing up. “I do. Thank you for introducing everyone. I’m Sarah, everyone. I’m very glad to meet you all.”

  “So, what’s going on?” Steve’s eyes were intent on her face. “Looks like there’s been a little trouble. Did she say something?”

  Sarah wondered if Sam had a reputation for being facetious. That might be why she was upset about Sarah coming into the family. Although she thought Clara’s idea of jealousy over Bobby being a possible suspect, as well.

  “Oh, she showed her little behind, all right.” Steven nodded as his wife confirmed his suspicion. “She told Sarah straight up that she wasn’t ever going to be her momma.”

  Steven frowned, looking dismayed. “That’s awful. I’m sorry, Sarah. She’s not usually like that. She’s very smart and very sweet. We only call her a little she-devil because she’s the furthest thing from one. Once she gets to know you, she’ll ease up. She’ll love you like she loves everyone. She always says everyone is her friend. Is Bobby with her?”

  Clara and Sarah both nodded.

  “Good. He can talk some sense into her. Sweet little girl. She’s usually so nice to everyone. I bet she knows you have a different relationship with Bobby than my wife or any other woman. She feels threatened.”

  Clara nodded. “That’s what I thought, too, honey.”

  “Well, great minds do think alike,” Steven said matter-of-factly, making his wife and daughter grin. He looked at Sarah. “Don’t you worry. Bobby will bring the girl around. She is really a loving little thing, and I know you’ll get along with her just fine after a while.”

  Sarah felt a great sense of relief. Bobby had mentioned Steven in his letters and had only spoken of him in the best of terms. Sarah didn’t feel intimidated by Steven’s size, though she might have if she hadn’t been told what a gentle, hard-working soul he was. She was willing to take Bobby’s word on the man’s character.

  “You know,” Sarah said, sitting down again, her eyes on the children as they hovered around their parents. “I can relate to Sam in a close way. My mother died when I was very young, too. I never had a stepmother. It was always me and my pa, just like Sam and Bobby.”

  Except it wasn’t like Sam and Bobby. It was nothing like them. Sarah wanted nothing to do with her father. He was a brutal, mean man who took his misery out on his daughter. Sarah knew that was the last thing in the world Bobby would do. And if she had little boys to be Sammy’s brothers, they would never, ever be allowed to treat the little girl badly, in any way at all.

  “Well, well,” Steven said in a gentle voice. “There’s something
Bobby didn’t tell me.”

  Sarah shook her head. “I didn’t tell him any details. I only told him that…” She hesitated. Did she really want to continue the lie with these two, who were sure to become her friends? Did she want to start off their friendship with that lie? She was beginning to hate the lie. She wanted it exposed but, out of human nature, did her best to hide it to avoid embarrassment.

  “You don’t have to tell us right now, Sarah.” Clara’s voice was kind. She tilted her head to the side and gave Sarah a sympathetic look. “I know this has all been so overwhelming for you. Bobby told me when he came upstairs earlier that you were feeling that way. Please, you don’t need to stress and worry so much. Everything will be all right.”

  Sarah nodded and said, “I hope so.”

  “You should know so,” Steven said, his booming voice echoing through the large room. “Bobby is a good man, Sam is a sweet child and, from what I’ve seen so far, you’re a woman with a head on her shoulders. Maybe a bit lost, but you are sensible and intelligent. Aren’t you?”

  Sarah nodded, her eyes focused on Steven. She wasn’t intimidated, but she felt his power and leadership when he spoke. She wanted to listen. She wanted what he said to be true.

  For a brief moment, she wished he was her father.

  “Then you just calm yourself down and wait. Bobby will take care of this and Sam will come around, I guarantee it.”

  “Steven, you shouldn’t say that. You can’t really guarantee what someone else is going to do.”

  Steven gave his wife a one-eyebrow raised look. “Don’t question me about that little girl, woman. I know them both just as good as you.”

  Both of them laughed, easing the tension Sarah had thought was there for a moment. It was obvious they got along well and teased each other regularly.

  “Sarah?”

  Sarah glanced toward the open door, where Bobby and Sam now stood. The Dyer family moved out of the way so the father and daughter could enter the room. It was Bobby that said Sarah’s name. He put one hand on his daughter’s back and pushed her gently toward Sarah.

  “What do you have to say for yourself, Sammy?”

  Sam looked up at Sarah, giving her a direct look. Her slightly pudgy face was sullen. “I’m sorry I was mean and rude,” Sam said. Sarah decided the little girl hadn’t been told what to say. She really felt the words, because the tone of her voice was one of shame. The look on her face, however, showed how much she wanted to rebel.

  “It’s all right, Sammy,” Sarah said in the kindest voice she could muster. She certainly wasn’t angry with the little girl. She’d been hurt more than anything else.

  “Papa says you will be around for a long time so I should get used to you.”

  Sarah couldn’t help but chuckle softly, looking at Bobby’s red face. “Well, that’s one way of putting it, I guess. I promise, I won’t get in your way. And if you decide you want to be my friend, I’m always ready for that. Deal?”

  She held out her hand, noticing the change of the girl’s expression. She no longer looked sullen. She looked conspiratorial, as if she had concocted a secret plan and just let Sarah in on it. The little girl nodded curtly and shook Sarah’s hand.

  “Well!” Bobby exclaimed, clapping his hands together. “Now that that’s over, let’s get something to eat, shall we?” He looked at Sarah, who was genuinely curious to know why they had stopped in the restaurant if they were planning a big welcome luncheon for her.

  She followed the rest of them into the big room on the east side of the mansion. It was large enough to hold dozens of people, if they were standing quite close to each other.

  Right now, it was just the seven of them.

  The cook and at least one serving girl Cook hired on special occasions had placed a variety of meals and snacks on a long table covered by a white and blue cloth. A stack of plates sat at the end of the table on both sides, along with forks, napkins, and other necessary items.

  Bobby held back while the Dyers and Samantha went to the table and served up their own plates.

  “I am so sorry about earlier, Sarah. I hope she didn’t make you angry.”

  Sarah shook her head, her heart trembling with apprehension. She wasn’t used to being around so much action. She hoped she could be on her best behavior.

  “No, not at all, don’t apologize. I… I lost my mother, too. I don’t think I told you that. I know how she feels.”

  Bobby lifted his eyebrows in surprise. “I didn’t know you lost your mother that way. Why didn’t you… never mind, it doesn’t matter. That means that your father raised you and your siblings?”

  “I didn’t have any siblings, either,” Sarah said. She was so close to telling him the complete truth, that she wasn’t an orphan but often wished she was, that her father was the meanest man on the planet. But she couldn’t. Not yet. She was ashamed. Of herself. Of where she’d come from.

  She was ashamed.

  “I will try to relate to her on a level that is more along her age group,” Sarah said.

  She was surprised to see Bobby shake his head. “Not by age,” he said. “Don’t judge Sammy by her age. She is much more mature, even though yes, she is five. But you can talk to her like an adult and she gets it. She’s just like that.”

  “I think she’s wonderful.” Sarah couldn’t help giving him a soft smile.

  Chapter 7

  It was a few days later and Bobby was still getting used to having a woman on the premises. It wasn’t just that it was new to him, she was also one of the worst cooks Bobby had ever seen. It was almost amusing. He was sure she could burn water if she tried. She did a decent job getting the clothes clean and tried her best to be at ease with Sammy. But she wasn’t used to being a mother and didn’t pay as close attention as he would have liked.

  Bobby had given his cook the week off to see how Sarah would do. It was Thursday and the cook wouldn’t be back till Monday. Bobby had to wonder if there was any possibility they might starve to death in the next four days.

  He tried not to pay it any mind, since every tear in every shirt he had was mended and he had noticed drawings for new shirts on a table in the small library he’d added for Sammy.

  He’d woken up to the pleasant smell of coffee, smiling before he even had his eyes open. But when he became aware of his surroundings and woke up a little more, he shot out of bed, wondering if anything would catch on fire that morning. So far, she’d had two stove fires and had even burned her hand a little bit, which was terribly painful and very sad. Even Sammy, whose feelings were still a little cold toward Sarah, ran out to get some salve from the storage building in the back and helped apply it.

  It had touched Bobby’s heart, and he was sure it had touched Sarah’s. Unfortunately, when it was all over, Sammy had gone right back to her “you aren’t my momma” attitude. He hoped that would end soon. He was becoming very fond of Sarah and was sure it wouldn’t be long before he couldn’t help but give her his heart.

  She was smart—about as intelligent as any woman he’d ever met. But when it came to household chores, he had to wonder why she was so inept. As an orphan, she wouldn’t have had someone else catering to her, making her meals for her.

  It seemed she had little to no experience at it, unless she’d just always been that bad. Hadn’t they taught her anything about normal life at the orphanage before she left? And how did she eat after she went out on her own?

  He dressed quickly and did his morning routine so he could get to the kitchen. He had to smile as he jogged down the hallway and took the stairs two at a time. The coffee scent was overpowering. He was glad he didn’t smell biscuits burning, like he had on Tuesday and Wednesday.