Daring to Start Again: An Inspirational Historical Romance Book

by Grace Clemens

  When Bobby pushed open the door and went through, he was surprised to see Sam sitting at the table, her eyes intent on Sarah. Sarah herself looked a little frazzled. Her hair was a mess on her head, her robe was pulled down on one shoulder, and when she looked at Bobby, he could tell she hadn’t gotten much sleep. Her eyelids were heavy, and the corners of her mouth were turned down. She was miserable.

  His heart went out to her.

  “Everything okay in here?” he asked, moving his eyes to take in the pan on the stove, the eggs cooking inside it, and a pot of porridge next to it, bubbling and popping from the heat.

  Sarah just nodded, saying nothing. He went to her and placed a kiss on her cheek.

  “It’s going to be okay, Sarah. Don’t worry.”

  Sarah didn’t respond. Her body was stiff when he touched her shoulder. She was as tense as she could get.

  He wanted to ease her mind, no longer thinking her lack of household skills was amusing. It may have been funny to him, but it clearly made her feel like a fool and he didn’t want that.

  He went to sit at his chair at the head of the table. Sam was seated to his right and Sarah’s chair was on the left. His daughter’s eyes followed him as he moved across the room and sat down. He leaned forward to give her a kiss on the forehead.

  “Good morning, my beautiful girl. Did you sleep well?”

  Sam beamed at him, sending a heavy flow of love for the girl through his body. He felt his heart grow bigger just looking at her.

  “I did sleep good, Papa,” she said. “But I think she’s going to burn the porridge.” She said the last sentence under her breath, aiming her words at Bobby. He was touched by her concern for Sarah’s feelings. She hadn’t been so concerned the last few days, pointing out every time the food tasted bad, the meat was dry, or something was burned, which was nearly every meal.

  “I hope not,” was his reply. How could he tell her it wouldn’t be when he didn’t know himself? He lifted his eyes and stared at the bubbling pot, anticipating that it would probably burn as Sam had said, since he didn’t see Sarah stirring it or even a spoon nearby to stir it with.

  He stood up and went to the stove, looking down at the mealy liquid. “Have you stirred this lately?” he asked, looking around him for the spoon. He was sure there had to be one somewhere.

  “Oh!” Sarah’s eyes opened wide and she dashed to the sink, grabbing a porridge-covered wooden spoon. She pumped the faucet, sending splashes of water down over the spoon and her hand. When it was rinsed off, she took a towel, dried it quickly, and handed it to him.

  Bobby took it from her, never taking his eyes from hers. He’d never felt so sorry for a beautiful woman in his life.

  He turned back to the porridge and stuck the spoon in, immediately noticing it was much too thick. He pushed the spoon through the mush, scraping it along the edges and bottom of the pot. When he pulled the spoon up, it was covered in black, burned porridge.

  His heart fell into his stomach. This would be another burned meal, and Sarah was going to feel terrible. He almost wished he could unburn the food.

  He dropped the spoon down into the pot and lifted it from the heat, taking it to the back door. Before he even got there, Sam was at his side, ready to open the door for him.

  Bobby poured the burned porridge into a pit near the back porch that he used for purposes like these. It had been used more in the last few days than it had the entire last five years of him living there.

  He came back up on the porch, looking at Sam, who had waited for him. When he got close, he leaned down and whispered, “Be nice to Sarah, honey. She’s doing the best she can, but she isn’t skilled at this stuff and has to learn, just like you and me.”

  “I’m too young to cook,” Sam pointed out. “And you know how.”

  “That’s not the point. You are a nice little girl and everyone is your friend. That’s what you always say, isn’t it? Everyone is your friend.”

  Sam nodded, moving her eyes so she wasn’t looking at him, but he could tell she was listening—and probably feeling a little ashamed of herself, knowing Sam.

  “Yes,” Sam confirmed. “Everyone is my friend. I like everyone.”

  “Then why are you being mean to Sarah?”

  Sam frowned, her adorable face still adorable despite it. “She wants to be my momma.”

  “Why is that bad?”

  Sam didn’t answer at first. Bobby couldn’t believe how much his five-year-old daughter behaved like she was much older. She glanced over her shoulder but apparently didn’t see Sarah because she leaned toward her father and said, “I don’t want Clara to be upset. She has been my momma and I know she doesn’t want someone else being my momma.”

  Bobby realized his daughter was even more precocious than he’d thought. The little girl had been wrestling with the fact that she didn’t want to hurt Clara’s feelings but also didn’t want to hurt Sarah’s. She’d chosen Clara because she’d known her longer and loved her very much. She didn’t know Sarah.

  Bobby cocked his head to the side and sighed. She was such a lovely little girl. He was so proud to be her father.

  He took a knee in front of her and placed one hand on her shoulder. “My dear, that is very sweet of you, to be thinking of Clara’s feelings. But Clara is happy about this. She wants me to be happy and she wants you to be happy, too. She likes Sarah. She wants you to give her a chance. And so do I. Do you think you can do that for us?”

  “But what if Clara doesn’t like something Sarah does with me, and maybe Clara will think I’m spending too much time with Sarah? I don’t want her to be mad at me.”

  Bobby immediately pushed away the chuckle that threatened to come out. He didn’t even register his [MJ1]amusement on his face. If he had, chances were good Sam would have seen it and caught on that he thought the whole thing was funny. That would devastate her. He wasn’t having that.

  “She won’t be mad at you, I promise. She’s a momma to Billy and Bianca, and when her new baby is born, you will have someone new to play with.”

  Sam snorted, which made it twice as hard for Bobby to hold in his amusement. “The baby won’t be big enough for me to play with for a long time. I’m stuck with Billy.” She sighed heavily, turning away from him.

  He stood up and put one hand over his face, looking away to hide his smile. He shook his head, recovering himself so he could show Sam how seriously he took the situation, and followed her back into the kitchen.

  Sarah wasn’t there anymore.

  Worry made his chest tight. He set the pot on the stove and poured a cup of coffee, which he promptly spit out because it was like syrup.

  He was disappointed, but there was a solution to the whole dilemma. All he had to do was find Sarah, comfort her, tell her what he wanted to do to make everything better.

  “Stay here, honey. I’m going to find Sarah. I’ll get Cook to teach her and help her. Clara can help her learn the rest. Everything will be all right.”

  “Okay, Papa.” Sam was at the table again, setting up a row of dominos. She looked funny, pressing one cheek down on the surface of the table, her lips puckering as a result.

  “What are you doing?” Bobby asked, allowing the amusement to be heard in his voice.

  Sam only turned her eyes to look at him, not lifting her puckered face. “Nothin’,” she replied.

  Laughing softly, Bobby left the dining room in search of Sarah. He went to the first and only place he thought she would be: her room.

  He knocked on the door and called her name.

  “Come in,” he heard, to his relief.

  He pushed the door open and stepped in. Sarah was seated at the dressing table, brushing her hair. She looked at him in the reflection of her mirror.

  “I’m sorry about breakfast,” she said immediately. “I don’t know why I can’t seem to grasp the whole cooking thing.”

  “Haven’t you ever had to cook for yourself? Surely you couldn’t have been taking all your meals at the
restaurant.” Bobby made sure his voice didn’t sound accusatory in any way. He didn’t want her to think he thought she was stupid.

  Sarah sighed heavily, looking at her own reflection. “Oh, yes, I’ve cooked. I just… I guess I’m not very good at it. I’m not familiar with your kitchen or your stove. And also…” She turned her eyes to him again, and he was surprised to see a pretty smile light up her face. “You have none of the ingredients I’m used to cooking with.”

  Bobby’s eyebrows shot up and he held back a smile. “You’ve never cooked with salt and pepper?”

  Sarah laughed, throwing her head back and saying sarcastically, “Besides that!”

  “Well, I think I’ll just send Cook a note and ask her to come on back and start cooking for us full-time again.”

  “Oh, I don’t want you to have to do that!” Sarah turned sharply in the seat and draped one arm over the back, holding her wrist with the other hand. “I’m so sorry. I know that is an expense for you.”

  Bobby shook his head. “Nonsense. I’ve employed her since Sam was born. I think she might get a little mad if I tell her you’re planning to start cooking for us all the time. Since that doesn’t seem to be your forte, I’ll just bring her back. It’s not an expense I’m not willing to make.”

  Sarah’s shoulders relaxed and she tilted her head to one side. “Are you sure?”

  Bobby nodded. “Of course. I don’t say things I don’t mean. You’ll find that out about me.”

  She gave him a warm smile. “I’ve been figuring out a lot of things. I hope Sam comes around to liking me soon. I’m anxious to do things with her.”

  “I imagine being alone all that time, you must feel strange living with two people like this.”

  Sarah dropped her eyes to the floor and then twisted back around in the chair, grabbing her brush.

  Bobby had noticed every time he brought up her background, she shied away from the topic. It seemed to him like something horrible must have happened at that orphanage to make her avoid it completely. She never wanted to talk about it.

  “You’re doing fine otherwise. I am happy you’re here. Are you happy to be here? I mean, despite my little devil child?”

  Sarah laughed. “You men need to stop calling Sam the devil. You might bring that out in her while you’re teasing her about it.”

  Bobby joined her in laughter. “I wouldn’t call her that to her face. I reckon it might hurt her feelings. She’s a feisty little girl and she knows it, but she knows she’s a little angel, too.”

  “She’s so smart!” Sarah shook her head. “I’m amazed every time she opens her mouth.”

  “I know. I don’t know where she gets it from. Certainly not her mother.” Bobby shook his head. “She wasn’t smart.”

  Sarah lifted her eyebrows. “No, you’ve said she wasn’t.”

  “Listen, I have to go into town to pick up a shipment. There’s also a horse auction. I’m gonna be gone most of the day. You’ll be on your own for the day. Think you can handle it?”

  Although she looked nervous, Sarah nodded. Bobby had to give her some credit for that.

  “Would it be all right if Sam showed me how to feed the animals?”

  Bobby was impressed that she wanted to learn the farm and ranching ways. He nodded. “She’s not big enough to do a lot of things, but she can definitely show you how to gather the eggs and feed the geese and the hens and milk the cow. She likes to rake the hay, so I built her a handle to fit her small stature. She likes to do that. You might get her to show you how to do that.”

  Sarah nodded. “I’ll do that. Thank you, Bobby. I… I really am so glad to be here with the two of you. I’m going to do better with household chores. I promise.”

  “I know you will, dear.” Bobby went straight to her and leaned to kiss her forehead. When he pulled away, he noticed her eyes were still closed and she had a perfectly content look on her face. When she opened her eyes, she looked directly at him, making his heart pound in his chest.

  Chapter 8

  The barn was dark. Sarah pulled open the two double doors and left them open so the sun would shine its light inside.

  She and Sam walked in, Sam going toward the feed bags and Sarah heading for the tools hanging on hooks by the door to the right.

  “What do you want to do first?” Sarah asked, immediately noticing the short-handled hay rake and smiling wide. She wouldn’t be surprised if Bobby put a new, taller handle on that rake for every year Sam got bigger.

  “I always do the feeding first,” Sam said authoritatively. “Because if I was hungry, I’d want someone to feed me before they clean around me.” She looked at Sarah closely. “Wouldn’t you?”

  Sarah nodded, keeping a serious look on her face. “As a matter of fact, I would. Food is always more important. It looks like these are different bags of feed, though. They aren’t all the same?”

  Sam shook her head, giving Sarah an amused grin, which made Sarah’s heart pitter-patter for a moment. Was the little girl warming to her? She hoped so.

  “That’s because hens don’t eat the same things as horses and geese and the cow.”

  “Doesn’t the cow graze?”

  Sam grabbed the top of one of the bags and pulled it closer to herself. She had to lean the bag over because she was the same height and couldn’t reach inside with her scooping cup if she didn’t.

  “They do but they need extra stuff, too, Papa says, so they will be very healthy and our milk and meat won’t be bad for us.”

  Sarah listened with fascination, mimicking Sam’s moves as she filled a smaller sack with feed using the scoop. She found her own cup to use and chose a different bag to scoop from.

  “That’s for the cow.” Sam pointed at the words on the bag. “See? Cattle.”

  Sarah was pleasantly surprised. “Yes, it is. You can read well!”

  “Yes, I can.”

  “Did you learn it in school?”

  Sam shook her head. “No, Papa won’t let me go to school.”

  Sarah was taken aback. She looked down at the bags and continued her work.

  “You want to know why?” Sam continued, dropping the scoop in the top of the large bag and pushing her body against it so it would tilt back and sit upright without anything spilling out the top. Sarah looked at her.

  “Yes, I would love to know why.”

  “Because he says I’m too smart for it.” Sam hopped across the space behind Sarah, going toward the ladder. Sarah felt a trace of fear slide through her but Sam didn’t attempt to go up the ladder. She went past it. Sarah was relieved. She could only imagine how she’d feel if she had to tell Bobby his daughter had fallen off a ladder she was probably not supposed to be on and broken her neck. Under Sarah’s watch. That would be horrible.

  “You’re too smart, huh?” Sarah could understand Bobby thinking she was smart. But too smart for school? That was counterproductive, in Sarah’s mind. She made a plan in that instant to talk to Bobby about letting Sam go to school.

  “Yeah, that’s what he says.” Sarah didn’t get the impression Sam was very happy about that.

  “Well, what do you think?”

  Sam didn’t immediately respond. She was shuffling about in the hay behind the ladder, where there was a stack of tools small enough for her to use. Sarah was amused by the mini-tools. Bobby was so creative.