Daring to Start Again: An Inspirational Historical Romance Book

by Grace Clemens

  He lifted his eyes to Sarah again, feeling a warm wave of affection slide through him. “I don’t hear the storm as much. Did the tornado hit while I was out?”

  Sarah looked over at the door, as if she had been so distracted she hadn’t kept track of the tornado. She gave him a wide-eyed look. “It’s calmer out there. The wind has died down a lot.”

  Bobby ran his fingers under her chin, looking down at her lips. “Did you kiss me?”

  Sarah’s cheeks flooded a dark pink that made her face look like one of the dolls Bobby had seen in the store and almost bought for Sammy. He wanted a kiss more than ever, now.

  She nodded sheepishly. “I did. I’m sorry.”

  Bobby’s eyebrows shot up. “Don’t be sorry, Sarah. I liked it. I’d like another, if you want to give me one. We are married. God would approve.”

  Sarah grinned, looking like a teenage girl for a moment. His heart thumped hard in his chest when she straightened up on her knees and leaned over him, pressing her lips against his. Her mouth was warm and soft.

  Bobby thought for a moment his heart might leap out of his chest.

  She pulled away from him too soon and he gazed at her. He was sure he had the look of a love-struck schoolboy on his face, but he couldn’t help it.

  In that moment, he officially fell in love with her.

  “Can we go back up to the house now?” she asked softly.

  Bobby tried to clear his head enough to listen for the storm. He lifted up a little and winced when pain cut through him.

  “Here.” He heard Sarah moving behind him and when he lay back, his head and shoulders were on a pillow. Sarah helped him adjust it until it was comfortable for him.

  “Thank you, Sarah. I think it’s too soon to go upstairs. As long as the wind is still blowing out there, we don’t know if the tornado will suddenly turn back. It’s best to stay down here until daybreak, just to be safe.”

  “So, we’re going to sleep down here?”

  Sarah looked around. He got the impression she was looking for somewhere to lay her head.

  He nodded. “Yes. Look, I can scoot back. There’s enough room on this bed for us both.”

  Sarah stared at him so long, he thought she must think it was too soon to share a bed. But he would be the perfect gentleman. He hoped she knew that.

  After a moment of pondering, she put one hand on the cot and lifted herself up, sliding in front of him while he moved back. He put one arm over her shoulder and hugged her. He couldn’t use too much strength because he didn’t want to hurt her, but he wanted to be close to her and was comforted by the warmth of her body. She turned so she was on her back, looking up at him.

  “You are beautiful from every angle, Sarah. Did you know that?”

  She smiled her brilliant smile and he couldn’t resist giving her another kiss. He wished she would tell him something about her life. It would help him understand why she was the way she was. As it stood, he only knew she’d lived in an orphanage. She’d never mentioned friends or the other children. The only thing he knew was that she had two bullies, two boys she couldn’t get away from.

  It made him angry to think she had been mistreated by other children and nothing had been done to protect her.

  But without more to the story, Bobby cautioned himself not to get too upset. He needed to know more about what that life had been like before he could judge anyone. The boys were probably reacting to their own pain, which didn’t make what they did to Sarah justifiable, but it did make it understandable.

  He quickly hatched a plan and launched it, hoping she would respond to him with a story of her own about her past.

  “I want you to know that I did care about Rebecca,” he said. “I didn’t want to see her come to harm. I didn’t hate her, and I certainly didn’t neglect or hurt her in any way. I know I told you that she wasn’t very smart and… well, I’m afraid I haven’t really said many nice things about her, have I?” He shook his head, feeling ashamed of himself. “I shouldn’t have done that. I just didn’t want you to think I still loved her or was pining for her at all. It’s been five years. Sammy is her spitting image, and I’m glad of it. I want her mother to live on through Sammy. She tried to be a good woman.”

  Memories flooded his mind, events he hadn’t thought about in years.

  “When Rebecca died,” he said quietly, looking over Sarah’s shoulder to where Sammy lay sleeping with the dogs. “I… I guess I shut down my memories of her. I rejected the notion that I’d had to get married to someone I didn’t love to get the love of my life.”

  Sarah’s eyes were soft when she looked at him. He could feel her love emanating from her. He was washed with a warm feeling and continued, “Sammy. Sammy is the love of my life. My sweet little girl. I want you to know that… my feelings for you… grow stronger every day.” He said the words slowly so he wouldn’t fumble on them and end up sounding foolish. He wanted to say the right things. His head was still swimming but his emotions were strong, and he wanted to get them out.

  “My little girl,” he breathed, “is my reason for living. I will love you, I think I already do. But nothing will compare to the love I have for my daughter.”

  Sarah nodded slightly. “I understand, Bobby,” she whispered. “I know your love for me will be… or is a completely different kind. I don’t want to step between you and Sammy. I promise I won’t do that. I won’t try to take you away from her. I’m so glad she’s warmed up to me now. She was hugging me so tight earlier I thought I might not be able to breathe if she didn’t let go.”

  Bobby chuckled and then grimaced, pain sliding from his side through his stomach and down his legs. His breath caught in his throat.

  “I’m sorry.” Sarah’s voice was soft, her eyes filling with new tears. He didn’t want her to cry. At that point, he was afraid if she started to cry again, it might make him cry and then he would really look like the fool he was. “I didn’t mean to make you laugh.”

  Bobby shook his head and said quickly, “I would rather laugh than watch you cry, Sarah. If you start crying, I might, too, so please don’t.”

  He was impressed with the vigilance she used to clear up her tears. She swiped vigorously at her eyes with her fingers and then gave him a real, but shaky, smile.

  His body relaxed and he sighed. She was definitely the woman for him. He couldn’t believe he’d been so blessed.

  “I’m glad you wrote back to me,” he whispered, leaning down to put a kiss on her forehead. It hurt too much to lean over, so he straightened back up, smiling through the pain. “At this point, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  She gazed at him with an intense look on her face. “I… I’ve never had anyone say anything like that to me, Bobby. That’s… so sweet.”

  His smile remained as he gazed into her tired eyes. He felt his pain coming back and tried to reach around Sarah for the bottle of whiskey on the floor beside the cot. He moaned and moved back to where he’d been, closing his eyes and trying to will the pain away.

  “I’ll get it for you,” Sarah said hurriedly, leaning over and grabbing the bottle. She uncapped it and helped him lift it to take a drink. He took several long swallows, the burn of the alcohol going down his throat and into his gut cutting into the pain from his wound.

  He let her have the bottle back and she capped it, setting it down on the floor, closer to the bed.

  This time, the alcohol took over quickly. One minute, he was talking to her, the next minute, her steady breathing relaxed him until he, too, fell asleep.

  Some time later, he woke to a commotion. He felt cold and realized Sarah was no longer next to him. He tried to come to consciousness, but his eyes refused to open. He felt his body being maneuvered and pain sliced through him when he rolled over onto his back. The wound was suddenly released from pressure and heated agony slid through his mid-section.

  “It’s all right, Bobby,” he heard the hushed sound of Steven’s voice in his ear. His friend must have bee
n right up on his ear because he felt the man’s breath on his skin.

  He forced himself to open his eyes and try to focus. It was hard to do with the furious pain sliding through his entire body. His head was pounding. He felt feverish.

  “I’m gonna take care of you,” Steven continued, his hands still moving as he adjusted Bobby onto the whole cot. “You were hurting in your sleep, moaning and groaning. I put Sarah right here on some cushions and a quilt, so don’t worry about her. You need to be on the whole cot. Here’s a blanket for you.”

  Bobby felt sudden relief from the cold when a thick blanket was pulled from his feet up to his neck.

  “You can keep that side under the blanket,” Steven was saying. “But I have to get to this. I need to change this bandage. You’re bleeding through and you can’t lose too much blood.”

  Bobby understood what Steven was saying but his eyes wouldn’t focus when he opened them. He could see a fuzzy haze where Steven was and beyond him, the bright round orb of light coming from the low-lit lantern between him and Sammy.

  Steven kept up a low commentary while he fixed Bobby’s bandage. The cold air stung Bobby’s torn, stitched skin when Steven took away the blood-soaked bandage.

  “We’re just gonna take this old thing away. It’s been hours, boss, so don’t worry about the stitching. Your woman did a good job. Don’t worry about that. I’m just gonna…” He got quiet as he carefully affixed a new bandage to the wound. Bobby felt relief flow through him when the air was blocked from his wound.

  “Where… where did you…”

  “It was upstairs in the kitchen.” Steven continued to work on Bobby’s injury, wiping up blood as it seeped out the edges and streaked down Bobby’s pale skin.

  “But… the tornado…”

  Steven glanced at Bobby, shaking his head. “Tornado went through, all right. But it’s gone now. Disappeared into thin air, you might want to say.”

  “It stopped? Just like that?”

  Steven nodded. “It was almost like it stopped in front of the house. I think the porch probably has some damage. Bunkhouse probably gone. Don’t know about barn or stables. Only had time to glance outside and there’s a pile of rubble where the bunkhouse was. Glad I wasn’t in it. Thanks, boss.”

  Bobby just stared at Steven, blinking, trying to comprehend what he was saying. He was having trouble, but he seemed to understand the bunkhouse had not survived while his house did.

  “You… got the… medical kit from…”

  Steven nodded, not letting Bobby finish. “Yes, from the study. Stop talking, boss. You gotta be in a lot of pain. I’ve got some pills for pain my doc gave me. I’m gonna give you one. They’re pretty potent, so you just take this one for now. It will help you sleep.”

  Steven took a tiny blue drawstring sack from his back pocket and dumped several small pills into his hand. He took one between his fingers and held it over Bobby’s mouth. When Bobby opened his mouth wide, Steven dropped the pill in. He helped Bobby hold his head up so he could take a sip of the water from the cup next to him to help him swallow the pill.

  It didn’t take long for the medicine to work in Bobby’s system, which relieved him tremendously. He didn’t like to load up on too much whiskey. It gave him a headache when he sobered up. Even with the pain he was experiencing, he thought he might hate that hangover even more.

  Steven was giving him an intense look. He rested his head back, leaving his eyes on his friend.

  “Why you lookin’ at me like that?”

  Steven shook his head, his expression one of sorrow. “I hate seein’ you like this, Bobby. A young man like you. I know, I know. You’ll be back on your feet in no time. But things have been goin’ good for ya. And I hate that this tornado might have destroyed a lot of the things you’ve worked so hard for over these five years.”

  “I’m sure there’s enough of the ranch left to salvage,” Bobby said softly. “So we’ll sell a few horses. It will all be fine eventually. I won’t know until daybreak. Then I can go out and look at the damage.”

  “Yeah, if you can even move then,” Steven said, direly.

  Bobby frowned. “What do you mean? I’m a young man, you just said so yourself. Young and strong. I’ll be back on my feet in no time. You worry too much.”

  Steven gave him a faltering smile. “I guess I do. But you’re like a son to me. My Billy is so young. I didn’t get with Clara until I was older, you know. It will be a few years before he’s a working man like you. Owning property and horses and such. Right now, I guess you might say you’re my experiment, so I can see if I can handle my son as an adult.”

  Bobby’s eyebrows shot up. “I’m your experiment?” he asked wryly.

  Steven grinned. “You might say that.”

  Bobby’s grin matched his friend’s. “Well, as a part of this experiment, I think you’re doing a bang-up job. Thanks for being here with me tonight, Steven. You should have been with your family, but I’m glad you were here.”

  Steven nodded, waving one hand dismissively. “My family was safe and I knew it. I’m glad I got to be here for you, boss. Real glad.”

  Chapter 16

  Sarah woke abruptly, her eyes snapping open, fear in her heart. She pushed herself up, looking around her, forgetting where she was for a moment. When her brain cleared, she remembered everything and twisted around to look at Bobby on the cot behind her. He was sleeping comfortably, but what caught Sarah’s attention was who else was on the cot with him.

  Sammy had woken up in the night and quietly slipped into bed with her father. She was cuddled up in front of him with his arm over her and her small hand wrapped around his wrist. Her eyes were closed, but Sarah didn’t think the little girl was asleep.

  She turned and looked behind her. Steven was gone. The two ranch hands were across the room, one of them laying across several burlap sacks of flour and sugar. The other was sitting on the floor, his back up against the wall, his chin on his chest. His steady breathing indicated he was fast asleep.

  When Sarah turned back to the father and daughter, Sammy’s eyes were open. When the little girl saw Sarah looking at her, the corners of her lips lifted in a soft smile. Sarah’s heart melted. She was so happy to see the little girl had finally accepted her. She felt true affection flood her body.

  “Good morning,” she whispered. “I see you found a new place to sleep.”

  Sammy nodded. “Is Papa okay?”

  “Does he feel warm to you?”

  Sammy nodded again. She held out her hand to Sarah, who helped her gently slide away from her father. To Sarah’s surprise, instead of moving away from her once she was free from his arm, the little girl moved into her arms. She circled them around Sammy and received a hug in return.

  “Thank you for saving Sandy.” Sammy’s voice was muffled because she was pressing her face in Sarah’s side. The movement and vibration tickled Sarah and she giggled.

  “It was my pleasure, Sammy. It was mostly your papa that did the rescuing, anyway, not me.”

  Sammy lifted her face and gazed at Sarah with a look that made Sarah’s heart melt. She really was the sweetest little girl she’d ever met.

  “I don’t know what I’d do without Sandy,” Sammy continued. “And I knew Papa loved him just as much as I do.”

  “Now, I don’t know about that.”

  Both Sarah and Sammy looked back to see Bobby had pushed himself up on one elbow. Sarah had thought about how peaceful and handsome he looked when he was sleeping. Now that he was awake, it was clear he was still in pain.