Daring to Start Again: An Inspirational Historical Romance Book

by Grace Clemens

  “Well, what do ya know?” McKinney said out of the blue, looking over Bobby’s shoulder again. Bobby turned in the saddle to see the two men from the saloon coming toward him.

  Suddenly, he felt trapped. He didn’t feel safe with the two sons behind him and the father in front of him—all strangers to town, men he was quickly becoming suspicious of.

  His instincts battled inside him. The kind act Danny had done, the friendliness of the father, these things didn’t mix with the feelings he was getting from them now at all.

  He rode forward a little and turned his horse so the father and sons wouldn’t have him surrounded.

  “Hey, Pa,” the younger-looking one, who Bobby now knew as Bart, called out as they got closer. “What’re ya doin’?”

  “Met this here stranger!” McKinney called back. “Was just askin’ him if I could get back to town on this road. I see y’all already figured it out.”

  Both boys laughed but when they stopped laughing, they weren’t smiling. Bobby observed their behavior, measuring it against their father’s reactions to his sons. There was a palpable tension that even he, as a stranger, could sense.

  He looked from the boys to their father and back again.

  The boys looked at him, sizing him up and down. “Howdy,” Danny said. “Saw you in town, right?”

  Bobby nodded. “Yeah, that was me. Mighty nice of you to give that money back to Tom. And with extra on top. Real gentleman-like.”

  Danny nodded back. “This is my brother, Bart. Don’t think you caught that in town, did ya?”

  “Nope, you didn’t say it.” Bobby tried smiling and could only hope it looked genuine. “But that’s okay, I think you were a little distracted.”

  “I’m just glad they let us back in the saloon!” Bart said in an enthusiastic voice. Bobby got a sudden good feeling from the young man and turned his attention to him. He was obviously a bit drunk but he was a happy drunk, if so. “They got some nice girls in there. Real pretty. And the ale is good, and the cigars…”

  “That’s enough, Bart,” McKinney barked.

  The look Bart gave his father told Bobby all he needed to know. Drunk as he was, and in a good mood because of it, Bart still managed to give his father a sullen look.

  “It was fun, Pa,” Bart said. “You shoulda come. Maybe tomorrow. Unless we…”

  “I said enough, Bart!” McKinney snapped at his son. He turned his eyes to Danny. “Take me to town. We gotta check in.” He looked at Bobby. “Nice meetin’ ya, Bobby. You got a pretty little girl there. Take care of her.”

  With those horrifying words, McKinney kicked his horse and made it jump into a trot that quickly turned into a gallop. Bart smiled at Bobby as he turned his horse around. Danny nodded and tipped his hat lightly.

  Bobby’s breath had caught in his chest when McKinney mentioned Sammy. Chills covered his body as he spun Journey around and the horse galloped toward the path that would take Bobby to his ranch. As he rode, his mind raced with thoughts.

  He was conflicted whether he should turn and go back to force McKinney to tell him how he knew about Sammy. But the other side of him knew the only logical thing to do was to go to his house and make sure the girls were all right. If he went back for McKinney first, he might be losing valuable time when his women needed him.

  In the end, he didn’t turn his horse around and continued till he got to the path to his ranch. He could see the building in the distance and raced Journey up the dirt road toward the front compound. There was no one outside, but that didn’t mean anything. He didn’t expect to see Sarah or Sammy outside.

  He got closer and looked to his left. There were three quilts hanging on the line. But as he neared the house, a basket came into his vision, sitting at the end of the clothesline, still topped with fabric from a quilt that had not been put up.

  Why had Sarah stopped in the middle of what she was doing?

  His breath caught in his throat.

  Chapter 22

  Sarah closed the distance between herself and the little girl. Sammy was staring at her with wide, frightened eyes, and it made her chest squeeze tight.

  “Sammy. I’m so sorry you had to hear that.”

  “What’s happening, Sarah?” Sammy asked, her voice quivering. “Who is that man? Why does he want Papa’s money?”

  Sarah’s heart squeezed in her chest, filled with regret that she hadn’t told Bobby the truth from the beginning. She put one hand on Sammy’s shoulder and turned her toward the house.

  “Let’s go inside, honey. I’ll make us some hot cocoa and we’ll have a little talk, okay?”

  Sammy nodded. She let Sarah direct her to the kitchen, which Cookie always left nice and clean. For several days, Sarah and Cookie had been planning a special night for her and Bobby, where Sarah planned to tell him she was ready to be a real wife to him. She’d given Cookie the night off for that purpose. She just happened to end up needing that night for a different reason. She would send Sammy to the Dyers’ for the night. It was the only way.

  Her chest was tight with anxiety as she let go of Sammy’s shoulder so the little girl could go to the dining table while she went to the kitchen area and pulled the container of milk from the icebox. She prepared a pan for the milk and left it on the lit stove to heat up.

  Sarah took the seat next to Sammy, turning sideways in it so she could look at the girl while she was talking and still be close enough to touch her. She lifted two fingers and brushed them over Sammy’s plump, blushing cheek. She could see how afraid the little girl was.

  “That man is a bad man,” Sarah said, deciding immediately that Sammy was smart enough to understand the danger involved. “I don’t think you should take candy from him or talk to him again, okay?”

  Sammy nodded vigorously, sending a flash of pride through Sarah’s worried mind. “But why? What did he do? Why is he bad?”

  “I’m going to make sure he doesn’t hurt you, Sammy. I will take care of this, don’t you worry.”

  “But we have to tell Papa, right? We have to tell him. He will keep us safe and protected. I know he will. I know it.”

  Sarah knew it was probably the right thing to do. But how could she tell Bobby? How could she tell him of her lies and deceit and how her father and brothers were dangerous? How would he react? How angry would he be?

  And now she’d put Sammy in danger, too. Her lies had put the child at risk. Bobby’s child. He would be so furious with her.

  Her chest tightened to the point that she was having a hard time breathing.

  How could she tell him?

  “I will have to take care of it,” she said. “When the time is right, I will tell him and seek his protection and advice. But for right now, you have to trust me, Sammy. I’ll take care of this and you don’t have to worry about anything. Just leave it to me, okay?”

  Sammy looked worried anyway, her small brows furrowing over her eyes. “But Sarah. It’s not good to lie to Papa.”

  Sarah felt a jolt of regret and pain. She nodded, closing her eyes briefly. “I know, honey. I know. But you won’t be lying if you don’t say anything.”

  Sammy’s frown wasn’t affected. Sarah was beginning to feel the weight of her guilt. She was having a hard time looking the little girl in the eyes.

  “Are you going to lie to Papa?” Sammy asked bluntly.

  Sarah swallowed. Now she would be forced to lie to Sammy. She thought carefully before she answered so she could find the right words to say to ease the little girl’s mind.

  “I’m not going to lie to him,” she said, hoping her words were true. “I’m going to try to take care of the situation without… without involving him until he’s needed. Do you understand?”

  Sammy just stared at her. Sarah didn’t know if she understood or not. She was so smart. She was either trying to figure it out, or already comprehended and didn’t approve. After a few moments’ hesitation, she nodded.

  “But Papa will keep the bad man from coming back. He wa
s really nice to me. I thought he was a friend.”

  Sarah shook her head. “I know you like to say that everyone is your friend,” she said quietly, in as comforting a voice as she could muster. “But, unfortunately, there are men like that one in this world and you have to keep yourself safe from them. It’s something for you to remember when you’re bigger. For right now, you need to let me and your papa keep you safe.”

  Sammy gave her a direct look.

  “Don’t lie to Papa, Sarah,” Sammy said. “Papa says liars go to the downstairs and not the upstairs, and I want to go to upstairs so I can meet my momma again.”

  Sarah pulled in a deep breath. Her heart slammed in her chest and she fought back tears. She didn’t want Sammy to see her reaction to that. She nodded, her eyes soft. “I understand that feeling, Sammy. I miss my momma, too. I had her for a little while, so I have memories of her. I know you want memories of yours, too.”

  Sammy was quiet for a moment, studying Sarah’s face. She shook her head and her voice was quiet when she responded. “I won’t see Momma again until I’m in Heaven. And that’s probably gonna be a long time from now.”

  Sarah put her arms around the girl and squeezed her in a warm hug. “Let’s hope so, honey. I know you want memories, but you have a long life ahead of you and she’s looking down at you from Heaven, watching over you.”

  “I want her to be proud of me. I want you to be proud of me, too. And Papa. Of course.” She added the last two words with a smile cutting into the frown, making her look happy again.

  “Of course.” Sarah nodded emphatically.

  “Do you think the milk is warm yet?” Sammy leaned to the side and looked around Sarah at the stove. Sarah glanced over her shoulder at the pot, which had steam rolling from the top of the bubbling liquid.

  “It looks like it might be. I know you don’t like it too hot, do you?”

  Sammy shook her head, her smile remaining. Sarah was amazed at her ability to brush off the things that scared her. She was also touched by the fact that she had been able to reassure Sammy when the little girl was obviously scared. She wondered how much Sammy had heard.

  If she’d been there when they discussed the locket, she would know Bruce was Sarah’s father, from what they’d said. She was smart enough to catch on to that. But she didn’t seem to know about their relationship. For now, Sarah would keep it that way.

  She got up and went to the stove, picking up a towel to take the handle and lift it from the fire. She set it on another towel and turned to get out two mugs and the cocoa.

  She filled the two cups and made the hot cocoa, a warm feeling of affection for the little girl in her heart. It was devastating that she had to keep lying. She vowed to herself that she would try not to lie to Bobby when she discussed it with him.

  Her stomach turned over at the thought that she would have to confess. How could he possibly love a woman he didn’t trust? And if he’d fallen in love with her already, wouldn’t that just make it worse?

  What if he hadn’t fallen in love with her? He was sure to send her away.

  What man would want a woman who lied to him about herself from the very beginning?

  She stirred the cocoa into the milk, her eyes suddenly filling with tears. She looked up to keep them from falling and tried to pull them back in completely. She didn’t want Sammy to see her crying. She’d have to explain herself, and that would involve even more lying.

  She was disgusted with herself for getting in this situation. It was all her fault. She was the one to blame.

  Sarah cleared her throat and swallowed her tears, turning back to Sammy with the two mugs in her hands.

  She set one on the table in front of Sammy and sat down with the other, taking a sip from the hot chocolate milk. She enjoyed the sensation as it slid down her throat, making her belly feel warm.

  Sammy was carefully sipping from hers, as well. After a few lengthy drinks, she grinned at Sarah. “This is so good, Sarah. Thank you.”

  Sarah nodded. “You’re welcome. It is good, isn’t it? Listen, I want to ask you something.”

  Sammy gave her a curious look, lifting her eyebrows and looking over the rim of her mug as she drank some more. The look was so cute and so adult at the same time, it made Sarah giggle. When Sammy just continued to stare, drinking her hot cocoa instead of answering, Sarah’s giggle turned into a laugh.

  “All right, I’ll just tell you.”

  Sammy’s shoulders bounced when she chuckled with the mug in her mouth.

  “I thought it might be nice if you went to the Dyers’ tonight and played with Bianca and Billy. Would you like that?”

  Sammy’s small face lit up with delight. “I would like that very much, Sarah!” She set the mug on the table just so she could clap her hands excitedly. “Are you and Papa gonna come, too?”

  Sarah shook her head, noticing when her action made Sammy’s smile falter a bit. She leaned forward and gave the little girl a secretive smile. “I want some time alone with your papa. We haven’t had any to ourselves really and I want to talk to him. I want to tell him how I feel about him.”

  Sammy’s eyes widened and she got a look of amusement on her face. “Ohhhh, I know what you’re gonna do,” she said in a giggly tone.

  “Oh, do you?” Sarah asked, pursing her lips and giving Sammy a look like she didn’t think the girl did know what she was gonna do.

  “I do…” Sammy leaned forward and whispered dramatically. “You’re gonna tell Papa you looooove him, aren’t you?”

  Sarah couldn’t help laughing but she tried to keep it as soft as she could. “Well, maybe you do know and maybe you don’t.” She reached out and bopped Sammy on the nose. “But I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

  Sammy giggled happily. “Of course. I know Papa loves you and I’m glad you love him, too. Does that mean I can have my extra room back?”

  Sarah lifted her eyebrows, taking a sip from her cocoa before she said, “What? What do you mean? Did I take your room?”

  Sammy laughed, shaking her head. “I was using it as a playroom. It’s just next door, so I had a lot of fun pretending both rooms were mine. And for a while, my friend, Maxine, was in that room.”

  Sarah wondered how a girl of five years old had a “friend for a while.” How long was the while? A few months? And had Bobby let another little girl stay in his home? She had a feeling she knew what Sammy meant by having her friend stay in that room.

  “Was Maxine an imaginary friend?”

  Sammy nodded, her blue eyes sparkling. “Oh, yes. Papa didn’t let me go to school so when Billy started going and I didn’t have anyone to play with, I made her up. She was real pretty and had brown hair like yours but she didn’t have blue eyes like yours, she had brown eyes like her hair and I always pretended to braid it, even though I don’t… didn’t know how to braid hair.”

  “Well, it sounds like you had it all worked out, didn’t you? Didn’t get lonely, huh?”

  Sammy shook her head. “No. I did it because I was lonely.”

  Her voice sounded a little forlorn. Sarah instantly wanted to bring back the funny little girl she’d been with a few minutes before.

  “Let’s finish our cocoa in the wagon,” Sarah suggested. “You run upstairs and get a bag together with some clothes and I’ll take you there.”

  Sammy tilted her head to the side. “But I want to see Papa before we go. Can’t he take me? Can’t he come with us?”