As she aids me back into the chair, I reach for the armrests to lower myself. I grit my teeth trying to bear the pain. Once I’m seated Cammie removes my boots and places my feet back on the footrest. Every muscle in my body is burning and throbbing, and I feel like I’ve just been through a war. I don’t even have the strength to push my chair.
“You did great today. Took a few more steps than I expected you too.”
“Oh sweetheart,” my mother says as she rushes to my side. “You did wonderfully.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“How ‘bout I get you a big piece of pie?”
Before I can say I would prefer wine, she runs from the room. I guess that was a little more than she anticipated. I’m pretty sure it was much more fun to watch me as a one-year-old take my first steps.
I’m exhausted, right now all I want to do is sleep. But it doesn’t take long before the severe cramping starts. I’ve recently learned there are thirteen muscles in each leg, and right now I can feel every single one of them. They’re cramping and burning to the point where I can no longer keep the expression of pain from becoming vocal.
I refuse the painkillers for as long as I can while Sam and Cammie try to rub out the cramps with hot stones. But after thirty minutes I can’t take the pain any longer, so I welcome the opioid.
The next morning I awake to a dull ache in just about every muscle I have, but the legs are feeling better. I look down at my feet still under the blanket and move them just to make sure they were still working. I smile at the movement of my toes. I try to stretch but am met with resistance. They just aren’t there yet…my legs that is. The muscles still feel too short and brittle.
I reach for my phone, there are three texts from Lily. It didn’t register until just that minute, and my heart sank. I passed out last night from the exhaustion, pain, and pain medicine. I shake my head as I begin to read them. Funny thing is, she isn’t pissed.
Hey, guess you got caught up in therapy. Hope all is going well. Call me if you can.
Hey gorgeous, at the airport now. Won’t be reachable for several hours. Call me if you get this in the next hour.
Hey…it’s me again. We landed safely. Off to visit my dad’s sister…well, guess she’s my aunt. Never met her before or the brood of cousins which apparently will be there as well. Wish me luck. PS, no worries about me hooking up…I’m all yours. Call me when you can.
The last one came with a selfie of her beautiful smile. Could I feel like a bigger shit? I’m pretty sure I could. I press the corner of my phone to my forehead. Trying to think of what to say when I text her because it is only 6:00 a.m. in California right now too early to call.
“What to say…what to say…what to say,” I repeat as tap the phone’s corner to my forehead. I guess I can tell her the truth, it wasn’t because I was doing anything bad…just passed out.
Good Morning Sunshine…so sorry about yesterday. Taking my first steps was much harder than I thought. I passed out from the pain meds last night. Please call me so I can give you all the details. Oh and glad to know you’re all mine
I press send with a small smile on my face. Lily really is sweet and kind-hearted, which is so rare to find at her young age. And as much as I’m flattered she sees me and not my disability, I’m not going there with her. She knew going in what this was going to be, and it wasn’t going to be love. This is just a temporary stop for me, I want my life back. And as soon as I can get my legs moving enough, I’ll be on a plane, and back to the me I still want to be.
Chapter Eleven
I t’s been eight days of complete hell, and I swear I’m not getting any better. The exercises Cammie has me doing are exhausting, I never knew it would take so long to get my strength back. But Cammie assures me it is coming back and says I should be a little more patient with myself. She says I’ve been making some serious strides. Well, I’m not walking on my own yet, not even standing on my own. I’m not sure what I thought would happen in a mere week of doing this…I guess my hopes were a bit unrealistic.
It’s after 10:00 a.m. and I just finished up skyping with Lily. She was in a bit of an amorous mood and wanted me to engage in some long-distance, skype sex…which pretty much boiled down to masturbating in front of each other. She was very persistent, but I stood my ground at ‘no.’ I wasn’t about to touch myself while holding a phone. Even though she relents on the shared experience, she wanted me to talk her through it. So I do.
I have to say that it was arousing to watch her. She held the phone between her legs, and I got an up close and personal view of all her glory, not to mention the tattoo of a lily on her inner thigh. The way her fingers danced in and around her center, then to her clit. I couldn’t help but participate verbally and wish I was there with my tongue doing to her clit what she was doing with her fingers. When she let out that orgasmic sigh, my own body throbbed wildly within my girl shorts.
Now I’m a bit pent up and aroused, and I don’t think it was a good idea for me to participate at all. I should have stuck to my guns because now all I want to do is touch myself. But as much as I want to release the growing need swelling between my legs, I’m not about to let it boil down to a quick rub off. I’ve gone this far without self-gratification, I wasn’t going to start now. I still want passion…I want someone else’s touch.
Lily’s still amazed that I haven’t done it since regaining feeling in those pleasure sensors. But what she doesn’t know is I didn’t have to touch myself to answer the question because of what I did with Sam when she took me to the reaches of ecstasy. Now I know, and the memory of Sam’s mouth on me is still playing in the back of my mind.
“Oh fuck, this is ridiculous,” I say as I push myself into the therapy room and forego my morning coffee. I need to get my mind off the little miss between my legs.
Well, one would think in two hours of these exercises and stretches the thoughts of sex would diminish, but that wasn’t the case at all. I’m crawling out of my skin. Maybe it was the sex skype call and the visuals of Lily’s pussy glistening on the screen. Or perhaps it’s the fact that since my lady parts have been awakened, I’ve only experienced the splendor of sex once. I’ve denied myself, and I don’t know why. Maybe I should just wheel myself into my bedroom and spend the afternoon reacquainting myself with my own special place. After all, who really cares if I take care of business.
But I resist a little longer because I don’t want Cammie interrupting me with requests that I get to the bars so I can take some more excruciating steps. So I let it simmer as a sly grin forms on my face and excitement spreads through me. I roll my chair over to where my braces are and recheck my phone to see if Cammie has responded to my last text. But I see no response. I certainly can’t do this task on my own, and though I want to try, I think better of it…don’t want to fall and create a setback. I figure I’ll just call her, and as I’m strapping on my leg braces, I hear that voice behind me and my stomach clenches. I sigh inwardly.
“Hey, there. Anxious I see,” Sam says.
“Yup.” I don’t need her here right now batting those eyes at me.
“Last night was a rough one…huh?”
“It sure was.” Well, it wasn’t as hard as the time I took my first steps…but I did push myself a little too hard and had to endure some residual pain as a reward. But as the saying goes, ‘no pain, no gain’…so I’m ready to push it again.
I haven’t turned to face her yet, I still don’t know why she insists on being present during my attempts at walking. I would rather have my mother, father, brothers, or the homeless dude on the corner of Chestnut and Wood…anyone but Sam. I don’t need the distraction she creates, especially now that we’ve had sex.
I know I could banish her, I know I could fire Cammie or at least get her to do what I want for a change, and I know I could just go home to Los Angeles. But where would the fun be in that? I’m enjoying being around my family. I’m enjoying hanging out with Lily, and I’m enjoying having Sam eat he
r heart out.
“How are you feeling today?”
“Um, better. Ready to try it again. Where’s Cammie, I haven’t seen her all morning.” It was just about 1:00 p.m. and I’m ready to finish up.
“She consulting on another case. Said she would be back by now, guess she got held up.”
“Well, it was nice of her to ditch me again.” It’s starting to piss me off that she keeps disappearing on me.
“Um…how about I help you with that?”
Sam starts to make her way over to the parallel bars and before I can protest she is strapping the belt around me. “It’s probably not a good idea for you to do this alone,” she says with a smile.
“I’m not that stupid, Sam.” She ignores my flip comment, and I try to keep myself focused on the task at hand and not her bright smile.
“Are you ready?”
I take a couple deep breaths willing the strength to come. Not just in my legs, but to endure the pain as well. I grab onto the bars and nod my head, “Yes.” And with that I’m vertical.
I keep my eyes focused on my legs as I begin to put more pressure on them until they were bearing the full weight of my body. Yes my feet burned, the pins and needles came back in full force, but it seems to be a little easier this time. This time I don’t feel like my legs were going to crumble. I actually smile at Cammie’s words playing in my head, ‘it will one day be better.’
“Slide your right foot to me.”
My eyes meet hers as I take my first step of the day. I try to look away, I don’t want to share a longing, loving gaze. I can feel the butterflies flapping away in my gut, and I know she is doing this on purpose. Step after step was met with a smile and those dancing blue eyes.
“I’m so proud of you,” she says for the tenth time.
I’m irritated by her kindness, by her loving looks, and caring words. I’m angry because I don’t want it. I don’t want this complication. I like my heart locked away, it’s easier this way. I like the simple…I like Lily. I like that we are casual…no hurt feelings, no misunderstandings, no arguments, and no broken hearts. What I don’t like is Sam trying to dissolve my resistance with those fucking eyes.
“Okay,” I say. I’ve taken fifteen steps and I’m sufficiently spent. I’m ready for a relaxing dip in the lap pool. “Can you help me down now?”
She searches my eyes, I know what she’s looking for…but it’s not there. That fire died long ago and the sex we had a little over a week ago didn’t re-fan the flame. As if she didn’t care, I watch her eyes grow dark with desire right before she presses her lips to mine. At first, I let it happen. Let her draw me into her web again. The web of promise and pleasure. Transporting me back to that seventeen-year-old college Junior, young and naïve. Easy for the taking and definitely easy for the seducing. I knew where we were headed, just like before; back to my bed.
“Wait…wait,” I say as I pull out of the kiss. “I need to sit down.”
By this point, my legs are screaming, and I need to get my weight off them. Then Sam lowers me slowly to my chair then drops to her knees to reattach her lips to mine. While her tongue is invading my mouth, I feel her unstrap each brace and pull them off. She then pushes herself between my legs and pulls me closer. I can feel it happening, I’m almost lost in her…almost ready to abandon myself once again. My fingers twist deep into her blonde hair while my tongue explores her wanting mouth. My pussy is throbbing as I feel the wetness gather there and soaking through my shorts. And now there is a battle in my head to justify what I’m about to let happen…AGAIN.
I reason to myself that it’s only sex. It means nothing, just two people pleasuring each other. However, I know it means something…to both of us. Last time it happened I was able to separate myself with everything that was going on with my legs. But this time I don’t think it will be that simple to detach myself. I know if I let it happen, it won’t stop, and I’ll be damned if I allow her to take me there just to wreck me all over again.
I have to be strong. The words are on a repeat in my head, but I can’t get beyond the moment. Beyond this kiss and her amazing mouth.
Oh God, please help me. I break the kiss as my hands find the rails of my wheels, and I pull back a few feet. She falls to her hands and looks up at me with questioning eyes. I can see her chest rise and fall rapidly, and I’m breathing just as fast. I need to snap out of it, so I roll back off the ramp and stop in the center of the floor. I spin my chair to face her, she is standing now just looking back at me. Probably waiting for me to give her some kind of sign.
I know this is not right…I know I should resist….I know I have a sweet and beautiful semi-girlfriend. I know, I know, I know. But right now…this minute, my mind is too crowded with passion for good judgment to permeate. I’m so amped up right now, and with her looking at me that way, my fortitude has diminished. Now all I know is…I want her.
“This way,” I say as I spin my chair and push it as fast as I can into my room. My heart is pounding beneath the walls of my chest in anticipation of her mouth on me again. That magical mouth and I can’t wait to come against her tongue.
In less than a second after I climb onto my bed, she is on me. Her mouth claiming mine in a heated frenzy, and when she begins rocking her thigh hard between my legs, I broke the kiss with a gasp.
“Oh God…don’t do that. I’m too far gone.” I don’t want my orgasm to be a product of dry humping if I’m going to let this happen again…I want it all.
She raises herself to her knees straddling my hips. Looking down at me with her crystal blue eyes, her blonde locks falling around her face so beautifully, she smiles and pulls her shirt over her head. Instinctively, I reach for her breasts still encased in a black lace bra. I catch her gaze again with a smirk and wonder if she wore this just for today in hopes of sex or does she wear sexy lingerie in general.
Her long arms disappear behind her back, and in milliseconds her breasts fall free, and I pull her to me capturing her pink hardened nipple into my mouth. Oh God, how I love the feel of soft breast tissue against my lips. It’s been a while since I enjoyed the touching of Lily’s naked body. I know I shouldn’t be thinking about her right now…my guilt will start to get at me and right now I don’t want this to stop. I can clear my mind…this is just sex. Not Sam, not Lily…no face, no feelings, just sex.
My teeth clench around her nipple with a little force, bringing about a pleasured moan and it spurs the animal in me. I know what she likes, and she knows I can give it to her better than anyone ever did or will again.
I pull her down further as I move my focus to her other breast. No sense any nipple being left out. I bear my teeth down in this one a little harder, because I know this is the nipple with the deep connection to her special place. I bite and pull and suck, and she is yelling out words or pleasure interlaced with some expletives.
While my mouth is working on that breast, my right-hand pushes its way up her loose jogging shorts and to my pleasant surprise, there are no panties to contend with. I find her wet, nearly drenched lips and my mouth begins to water. I so want to fuck her right now, to be deep inside her, and feel her body contract around me. I want to feel her hot fluid fill the palm of my hand and look into her eyes as I see her face contort into that euphoric expression I know so well. I want to hear her scream my name like she used to.
The fantasy is just too much to bear, and I pull my attention from her breast, retract my hand from her shorts and push her off me. My bed is against the wall, which prevents Sam from flying off it, but she does crack her head against it. I gauge her reaction for any signs of discomfort. When only desire stares back at me, I push myself to my knees, not quickly or gracefully…but the ability to do so has just amazed me. However, I don’t revel in this triumph too long…instead, I pull my sports bra off. She reaches for my breasts, and I push her hands away as I carefully straddle her leg.
There is a task at hand, ‘hand’ being the operative word. I’m leaning down on my left
arm staring into Sam’s face because I want to see it all happen as I push my fingers deep into her center. I want to see her mouth drop open, and feel her breath on my face as she gasps. Because there is no going slow right now, no testing the waters. She is wet and ready, and with that, I watch a pleasured look wash across her face when I push three fingers in deep.
“Oh God…oh Laurel,” she whispers between sweet moans and deep grunts of pleasure. Because now I’m giving her the best of me…pushing and pulling without any intention of stopping. Her hands are gripping the duvet we are laying on, her head is pressed back into my pillow, her eyes are clamped shut, but I want to see them.
“Look at me,” I say when I ramp up my pace. She peels her eyes open, and I can tell by the pink hue of the white in her eyes that they’re burning and I know she is close.
“Tell me…tell me, baby,” I say. Because now I need to see her mouth. I need to see the sparkle of her teeth, and I need to feel her breath on my face.
“Oh baby…it feels so good, don’t stop,” she says with her eyes fixed on mine. But I’m still waiting for it.
“Tell me, tell me what you want.”
She quirks an eyebrow and flashes me that sly smile before she says, “Fuck me…oh, baby…fuck me.”
That’s what I was waiting for, and so I complied by increasing my pace and intensity causing her eyes to roll back into her head.
Then she releases the scream that I know was waiting to be unearthed and by the deep pitch, it seems that it might have been a while since she has done this or maybe I’m just that good. I certainly would rather believe it was me.
She falls limp, and I gently retract my fingers and waste no time dropping between her legs. I know my tongue on her clit right now after that momentous orgasm will reduce her to a screaming, clawing, and raging woman in just a few short minutes. Because if I remember it correctly, the sensitivity of her clit was always so heightened after that, I could probably just blow on it, and she would get off. And, I know when we started this, even before we started this, I wanted her mouth on me…but that will have to wait, because now I want to feel her come against my tongue.
It's All Coming Back To Me Page 10
