The open doors of the church looked more like a monster’s mouth ready to swallow rather than welcome her. Now that they had arrived, a part of Carly wanted to rush back to the security of the boardinghouse to stay with Rachel. But if she were there, Rachel would feel obligated to stay up and talk, and the poor woman needed her rest. And Carly desperately needed to hear an encouraging message this morning.
Thunder sounded to the west, and she glanced up at the gray sky. Even the heavens looked unsettled today. The air hung heavy with moisture, and sweat already dampened the back of her dress.
At least she’d met the new minister and had shared several meals with him and the Davis family. He seemed kind and accepting of her; then again, he didn’t know about her past. But with him being new, wouldn’t most of the church folk be focused on him and whether his sermon passed muster and not concerned about a new woman in town?
They entered the doorway and shuffled down the aisle to the closest empty row. Emmie squealed when she saw the reverend and waved. “Howdy, Pas’er.”
Most folks nearby chuckled, but a few cast stern glares their way. Reverend Jeffers grinned, even though singing, and waved his fingers at the toddler. Carly sat down and bit back her own smile. Jack had her hand wrapped securely over the girl’s mouth and had leaned over to whisper something in her sister’s ear.
Carly joined in the third verse of the song, which she’d learned at Reverend Barker’s church:
“Was it for crimes that I had done;
He groaned upon the tree?
Amazing pity! grace unknown!
And love beyond degree!”
Carly’s heart clenched, and she closed her eyes. Jesus had suffered on the cross partly because of her own sins. Forgive me, Lord. She knew in her heart that He had pardoned her, but remembering the price Jesus had paid for her salvation kept her humble. She had much to be thankful for. God had freed her from prison and given her peace—at least most of the time. And He’d blessed her by making it possible for her to live in Lookout again with her dear friend who had told her about salvation. God’s faithfulness was truly great. She prayed again that He would open the townsfolk’s hearts toward her and that He’d give her the home she’d never had before.
She rearranged her skirt and smiled at Alan, who sat next to her. From behind, she heard the loud whispers, “Outlaw. Convict.”
Her heart clenched, and her hope wilted like a daisy in a drought. She closed her eyes as the pastor prayed. Help me, Lord.
She simply had to make a stand here in Lookout, because she had nowhere else to go. Either people would accept her, or they wouldn’t. If their scorn was the worst she had to face, then she could endure. But please, Lord, don’t let things get any worse.
Footsteps shuffled down the aisle, and someone squeezed into the small space between her and the edge of the pew. She scooted closer to Alan then glanced over to see who had just arrived. Garrett Corbett stared down at her with those intriguing blue eyes. Her hands started sweating, and she yanked her gaze away. Oh, Lord, why’d he have to sit here?
Jack scooted to the end of the pew so that Carly could move over and not have Garrett crowding her. She probably should have mentioned that he often sat with her family and then came over for Sunday dinner.
Agatha Linus started playing the chorus of “What a Friend We Have in Jesus,” and the pastor started singing, his deep voice clear and surprisingly on-key. She pulled Emma back against her, hoping the warmth of the room would put the toddler to sleep, and continued listening. Who would have thought Noah could sing so well?
His handsome face looked dreadful. His black eye had all but swollen shut, and his other cuts were puffy and red. She wondered why he hadn’t worn the bandages the doctor had put on his wounds last night. Maybe he wanted folks to know he had nothing to hide.
If that was the case, why wouldn’t he talk about his past with her? The fact that he refused to stirred up her investigative senses and made her want to discover his secrets. But what if he was hiding something that could hurt the town? Didn’t people have a right to know that?
What if he was a reformed train robber? Her gaze immediately shifted past the children to Carly. She’d been an outlaw, but God had changed her. So if He could change an outlaw into a kind, God-fearing person, He could change anybody.
But not Butch Laird.
Jack glanced to her right and gazed out the open window. Where had that thought come from? She hardly ever thought of her old nemesis these days. She had a hard time believing even God could change a fat, pig-stinking bully like him, but in her heart, she knew that He could.
She hadn’t treated Butch kindly, either, but had ganged up on him with her two childhood friends. She’d even lied about him. But at least she’d come clean on that and had told Luke the truth. Jack remembered going to Butch’s home to wallop him for the words he’d painted on the town’s walls, but when she saw the shanty he lived in, her anger had fled, and she had the overwhelming urge to apologize. She’d never been certain which she’d actually have done, but he’d been gone. Had left town and never returned. Where was he today? Was he still alive?
Shaking thoughts of Butch from her mind, she concentrated on the words she was singing:
“Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged—
Take it to the Lord in prayer.”
Jack ducked her head. She didn’t pray half enough. She was always doing things she thought was right, but she needed to seek God more.
Emmie’s eyes rolled back, and her lashes lowered. She’d open them wide for a moment, and they’d drift closed again. Leaning down, Jack placed a kiss on her sister’s head. When was the last time she’d prayed for her siblings?
Abby shoved Alan, and he pinched her leg. “Ow!” Heads swerved in their direction.
Jack leaned over. “I’m warning you two. No pie.”
Abby scowled at Alan and leaned on Jack’s left arm. Her right arm was already going to sleep. Maybe she should talk to the reverend about starting some kind of Sunday school program for the young children to attend during the service.
“Thank you kindly, Mrs. Linus.” Noah Jeffers nodded at the piano player as she left her bench and proceeded to the pew where her sister sat. The pastor cleared his throat and held on to the podium so tightly that Jack could see the white of his knuckles. He stared out at the congregation.
“I tried to introduce myself as each of you came in this morning, but I apologize if I missed anyone. I’m Noah Jeffers, and I’m filling in for Pastor Taylor while his family is out of town.”
He lowered his head, pursed his lips, then looked back up with resolve. Jack wondered if he was as nervous as he looked. Preaching to a crowd for the first time would be difficult enough, but to be doing so battered and bruised …
“Last night, I had the misfortune to be in a fight.”
Jess Jermaine leaped to his feet. “A man’s got a right to defend himself, Preacher. Everyone saw that you tried hard to not fight that Morgan boy.”
“Not when he’s the pastor, he don’t.” A man Jack hadn’t met before jumped up. “A pastor oughta be a man of peace.”
“Gentlemen, please. Have a seat, and let me continue.” He stood quietly while the two men stared each other down, then finally sat. “I want to apologize to y’all. I don’t condone fighting.”
Jack sucked in a breath. He was apologizing for defending her? She held Emmie so tightly the child began to fuss. She forced her arms to relax. Was he sorry for what he did?
“I can’t deny that this is a rough land and men sometimes have to take actions to protect themselves and their families. But as your current pastor, I should have tried harder to resolve last night’s situation without fighting. For that, I apologize. That’s all I want to say on the matter now, but if you feel it necessary to talk more, come and see me at the boardinghouse at your leisure.”
He looked down and open
ed his Bible. Heat scalded Jack’s cheeks. She stared down at Emmie’s little fingers, feeling rejected and foolish. Everyone would have been better off if she’d just stayed home last night instead of attending the social when she had no intention of dancing. Then Billy wouldn’t have created a commotion, and Noah Jeffers wouldn’t have had to sully his reputation and suffer for her sake. The sooner she left town, the better it would be for everyone.
“I thought a fitting verse to start with this morning would be Matthew 5:46: ‘For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? Do not even the publicans the same?’ “ Noah walked away from the podium and stood at the front of the pews. “Y’all know that a publican was a tax collector?”
Several heads nodded.
“Good. Well, we all know that nobody likes a tax collector.”
Chuckles echoed across the room.
“Jesus is saying here that even men we might not like love their wives and children—people who love them. It’s a simple thing to love people who care about you. But it’s far harder to love a person who, say—pokes fun at you for something you did or said. And what about that man who cheated you last month? How easy is it to love him?”
“Downright impossible,” Mr. Cauldwell shouted.
Reverend Jeffers looked at the man. “Maybe so, but it’s what our Lord is instructing us to do. It’s not easy. I’m proof of that. Last night I failed to show love to an angry man, and I’m the minister. But God doesn’t always call us to do the easy thing.”
Jack thought about that. In some ways, leaving Lookout would be very hard. Yeah, she might actually have a room to herself, but she would miss seeing her brother and sisters grow up, and the new baby wouldn’t even know her. She stared out the window at the cloudy sky. Wind battered the trees, signaling a coming storm that mirrored the one going on inside her. Could she sacrifice all that for the opportunities and adventure she could have in Dallas? Would moving be worth the cost?
“Let’s read a bit farther.” Noah’s words pulled her attention back to the front.
“Matthew 9, verses 10–13 says, ‘And it came to pass, as Jesus sat at meat in the house, behold, many publicans and sinners came and sat down with him and his disciples. And when the Pharisees saw it, they said unto his disciples, Why eateth your Master with the pelicans and sinners?’ “
Andy’s head jerked up. He’d been sitting there quietly unraveling his sock. “What’s a pelican?”
Jack shushed him and glanced at Carly, who shrugged, an embarrassed grin teasing her lips.
Old Mr. Carpenter, who always sat on the second row because he couldn’t hear well, turned to his wife. “Did he say pelican?”
Poor Opal Carpenter held up her finger to quiet him, but the old man lifted his ear horn. “Eh?”
“Hesh up, Henry,” the old woman said.
Chuckles rebounded around the room.
Noah cleared his throat, looking a bit confused. Jack couldn’t help feeling sorry for him. Did he know about his faux pas?
He continued reading. “ ‘But when Jesus heard that, he said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick. But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.’ Jesus chose to fellowship with the poor and lowly, but He was the son of a king—the King. Instead of demanding fine clothing, a feast, and jewels, He lived a life of poverty, so that He could be an example and reach those nobody else cared about.”
Noah slowly paced back and forth across the front of the church. “Remember the parable of the two sons? The father told one son to go and work in the vineyard, but the son said no. Later he repented and went and did as the father asked. But the father went to his second son and told him to go to work. That son said he would but then failed to go.”
He paused and looked over the congregation. Jack swallowed hard, knowing she was more like the second son than the first. Much of her life, she’d shirked her chores, preferring to be with her friends than help her ma. Remorse ran through her.
“So let me ask you a question. Which of the two sons did the will of his father?”
“The first,” someone behind Jack shouted.
“Perhaps.” Noah shrugged one shoulder. “Jesus said, ‘Verily I say unto you, that the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you.’ It seems a harsh statement, doesn’t it, folks? We strive all our lives to work hard, raise enough crops or make enough money to feed our families and provide for them, and all of this is good. But God looks at our hearts.”
Noah remained silent for a moment and stared at the crowd. Jack ducked her head when he glanced her way. “What is your motivation, folks? Are you working hard to be the richest man in town? Or are you just trying to care for your family and serve God?”
Noah looked down at the floor and stood with his hands in his pockets. “I’ve never been a rich man, nor particularly care to be. But I can tell you that I’ve lived about as low as a man can go.”
Jack perked up. Was he going to share something about his past? “My pa wasn’t a kind person. Oh, he was all right until my ma and little sister died, but then he fell off the wagon. He was a mean drunk, and I was the one he took his anger out on.”
Jack sucked in a breath.
“It’s hard for me to believe that Jesus would have sought out my pa before … say, Pastor Taylor.”
Jack’s heart clinched at the pain etched on Noah’s face. She’d once had a mean father and remembered hiding when he’d go into one of his rages. Remembered how it hurt the few times he hit her before her mother would distract him and take his brutality instead. She’d never have expected that she and Noah would have that in common.
“I doubt my pa ever heard about God. He never taught me about the Lord. And to be honest, it would be hard for me to accept that he might be in heaven.” He huffed a fake laugh. “It’s a good thing I’m not God. I’m imperfect. A sinner. Just like everyone else in this room. But there’s good news, folks. Jesus came to save us sinners. If we turn from our wicked ways and humble ourselves, God can make us new. Wash us clean as new-fallen snow.”
He returned to the podium just as Abby slid off the bench and onto the floor. Jack motioned for her to get back on the seat, but she shook her head. Abby leaned her head against the pew in front of them and stuck her tongue out at Alan. Jack tried to shift Emmie to a different position to free up her arm, knowing an explosion was about to occur. Alan leaned forward, reaching for Abby’s hair, but Carly snatched up the boy just in time to avoid a catastrophe. She hauled him onto her lap, but he shinnied off and climbed onto Garrett’s, giving Carly an angry glare. Abby had already inhaled—ready to scream, Jack was certain—but instead, the girl slowly let out her breath, looking disappointed. Jack glanced at the ceiling. Father, forgive me if I was anything like my siblings.
Noah returned to his podium and ruffled the pages of his Bible. “Let me close with this. ‘Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a pelican.’“
“What is a pelican?” Alan whispered, far too loudly.
Garrett leaned down to his ear. “It’s a kind of bird.”
Alan nodded. “Thought so.”
“ ‘The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this pelican. I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess. And the pelican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner. I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.’“
Noah closed his Bible, his gaze roving the crowd again. Jack didn’t think he had any idea of the mistake he’d made. “I challenge you not to leave here today until you’ve made things right with the Lord. Don’t be proud like the Phar
isee, who boasted of his good deeds, but rather, see how you can help your neighbor or friend without expecting something in return. Shall we pray?”
Jack bowed her head, shame weighing heavy on her shoulders. She was so tied up in achieving her own dreams that she rarely thought of doing something nice for someone else, even her ma. Forgive me, Lord.
Thunder boomed outside, and though the prayer had yet to be completed, a number of heads swiveled toward the windows. The scent of rain filled the air, and Jack had a suspicion that many folks were going to get wet on their travels home. She couldn’t help being thankful she didn’t have far to go.
Alan squirmed on Garrett’s lap, and the moment Noah said, “Amen,” the child went slack and slid free of his captor. He crawled across the floor toward Abby. She spotted him, squealed, and scurried under the pew in front of Jack, with Alan chasing after. Jack bent and just missed snagging her brother’s britches. Mrs. Abbott, sitting directly in front of Jack with her quiet trio of children, squealed and looked down. Then she turned and shot Jack a glare that could curdle milk. Jack shook her head and shrugged. How did Ma get those two to behave?
“Sorry,” Garrett said. “I’ll go after them.”
Emmie sat up, her hair and the back of her dress damp with sweat. She rubbed her eyes and sniffled. “I tirsty.”
“Why don’t I take her back home and get the table set for dinner?” Carly smiled.
“Are you sure you don’t mind? I probably should go rescue Garrett.”
Carly held out her arms. “You wanna go home and get a drink?” Emmie stared at her for a moment, then fell forward. Carly stood and held the girl on her hip. “Let’s go home before the rain starts.” Thunder echoed through the room again, and Emmie buried her face against Carly’s shoulder. They joined the crowd making its way outside.
Jack stood, stretching out the kinks in her shoulders and arms. She glanced down and gasped. The dress that had taken her nearly an hour to iron yesterday was a mass of damp wrinkles. She crossed her arms and slid out of the pew.
Finally a Bride Page 18
