Dallas was looking less and less appealing with each second that passed.
Carly stared at Rachel then glanced at Garrett, hoping he would explain the courting thing. He just stood there with his hands in his pockets, a silly grin on his face.
Rachel’s pale blue eyes went wide as her hand flew to her chest. “Not you two?”
Garrett’s smile slipped, and he crossed his arms. “What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing. It’s just a shock.” Rachel glanced between Carly and Garrett, then shrugged. “I mean, it’s just that I’ve never even seen you talking to each other. Have you prayed about it?”
“Well, no, not yet.” Garrett kicked at the leg of the nearest chair. “Can’t a guy take a gal for a walk without everyone gettin’ in an uproar?”
“Of course, I’m sorry. But you didn’t say anything about a walk.”
Garrett had that confused look again. He reached up and scratched his temple, and Carly’s gaze wandered up to his blond hair. Would it be soft like hers or stiff and coarse? “What’s the difference in walkin’ and courtin’?”
Rachel nearly choked on a laugh. “You’ve got to be kidding, Garrett.”
He shook his head. “I’m not. A man doesn’t take a woman walkin’ around town unless he’s interested in her. Too many folks would start talkin’.”
“Well, I can see your point, but you need to seek God on something so serious.” Rachel didn’t smile. Carly shifted from one foot to the other. Did her friend think it wrong for her and Garrett to be interested in one another? Rachel had everything, not that she hadn’t struggled in years past, and now Carly wanted the same thing, with the exception of such a big house.
“Is Andrew asleep?” Rachel asked, seeming suddenly sober.
“I’m not sure. I laid him in his bed after he belched.” Carly crossed her arms. Did Rachel think she wasn’t good enough for her husband’s cousin? She grimaced, rejecting that idea. Rachel was right that they should pray about courting, but was there anything wrong with getting to know a man first and then seeking God about their future?
“Where’s Luke? I thought you two took a stroll.” Garrett reached for his hat, rolling the brim on one side.
Rachel stopped in the parlor entrance. “Oh, Terrance Gruber ran up and told Luke there’d been another break-in, but I didn’t hear where. Sometimes I wish the town had stayed small like it was years ago. With growth comes problems.” She nodded at each of them. “I’d better go check on the baby.”
A tight fist clenched Carly’s chest. Would folks blame her for this newest robbery?
She stared at the floor. Left alone with Garrett, she suddenly felt awkward. She knew how to talk to this man when her ire burned, but what did she say now?
“Well …”
“I …”
They both talked at once. Garrett smiled, and she relaxed a bit. He really was a handsome man.
“You go first,” he said.
She shook her head.
He gently touched her arm. “Go on. I won’t bite.”
She shrugged and stared down at his dusty boot tops. They needed to be cleaned and polished. The end of his trousers had frayed bits sticking where he must have torn them. The man sure needed a woman to care for him, but was she the right woman? Dare she believe God had sent him in answer to her prayer?
“Carly …”
She glanced up at his use of her Christian name, liking the mellow tone of his voice. “You’ll probably think it’s silly,” she admitted, “but I’m afraid folks will think I caused the break-in.”
His eyes went wide. “Why would they think that? You’ve been here all evening, haven’t you?”
“Yes, but folks talk, especially when there’s an ex-convict livin’ among them.”
Garrett winced as if she’d hauled back and punched him.
“Surely you realize the gossip you’ll be facing if you and I court. Have you considered that it could affect your business?”
He lowered his head, and she could see that he hadn’t. She feared the side of his hat would be as curled as Tessa Morgan’s hair on Sunday morning if he didn’t stop scrunching it. She tugged it from his hands then stretched up and set it on his head. “Go home, Garrett. Thank you for asking me to court. I am deeply honored, but before we consider such a thing, you need to think it through—completely. Reflect on how a relationship with me could hurt your business.”
“I’m thinking about changing businesses.”
Carly wondered about that, but now wasn’t the time to discuss it. A moth flittered between them. Garrett reached out faster than she could blink and caught it. A shy grin tilted one side of his mouth—his very appealing mouth. He held up his closed fist. “Guess I’d better go so I can turn this critter loose.”
She nodded and crossed to the door. “If you’re serious about us courting, promise me you’ll pray about it—and that you’ll only ask me again if God gives His blessing.”
He stared at her a long while then inhaled a deep breath through his nose. “I will. I should have done it before, but I just—just got it in my head that we’d be good together and headed on down here.”
With a boldness she didn’t know she possessed, she reached up and cupped his cheek. A day’s worth of light stubble tickled her fingers. “Thank you. You have no idea how much your offer means to me.”
He pressed his hand against hers, turned it, and kissed her palm. Then he scowled. “Shoowy! We smell like baby spit-up.”
Carly giggled and gently pushed him outside. Jacqueline and the pastor walked across the street, and Garrett greeted them. She closed the door, then hustled up the stairs, not quite ready to face another inquiry about her and Garrett.
Standing with her hand on her doorknob, she listened for the children. Only the sound of heavy breaths—and one nasally snort—could be heard. She smiled and entered her room. Leaning back against the closed door she thought of how her life might have taken a new road this evening—and she prayed it might be God’s plan for her.
Kissing Jackie was wrong, no matter how good it felt. Surely it couldn’t be God’s plan for him. Berating himself, Noah hurried upstairs while Jackie went to say good night to her folks.
But he had to admit, kissing her—holding her close—had been the fulfillment of a long-held dream, and far better than he’d ever dreamed. His steps slowed. Imagine Jacqueline Hamilton Davis kissing him. He shook his head. Maybe it had all been a dream.
That was it.
He must be sleepwalking.
But if that was the case, he wouldn’t feel so guilty. He’d always admired Jackie’s spunk and determination, even when it got her in trouble. He snorted a laugh—even when she got him in trouble. And she had. Plenty of times.
He closed the door to his room then dropped onto the desk chair. Bending over, he rested his elbows on his hands and forked his fingers through his hair. With the exception of a relationship with God, he’d never wanted anything as much as he desired a relationship with Jackie.
Was that wrong of him? Shouldn’t a man of God be content to reach his whole flock and not be attracted to one pretty woman? One very beautiful woman who set his senses on fire and flamed his dreams. Dreams of a home—a loving wife—a family.
If only Pete were here, he’d tell Noah what to do.
The wind lifted a corner of the curtain, as if the Spirit of God drifted in. He needed to pray and find that comforting peace God always brought him, but part of his mind said he never should have come back to Lookout.
Yet in spite of all his initial objections, he realized now that a part of him had never left here.
He fell to his knees, head on the floor, and cried out to God. “Show me what to do, Lord. Help me to stay on the path that You want me to walk—and if Jackie isn’t—” Just thinking the words gutted him. How could he say them out loud?
But to hold back anything from God was wrong. If he gathered Jackie up and held her close to his heart and refused to let her go, he�
�d be wrong. He had to give her to God—and if God chose to give her back, that would be the greatest day of his life.
Chapter 26
Jack strode into the Lookout Ledger’s office, relishing the familiar odors of ink and paper. She slapped her article down on top of the editor’s desk.
Jenny jumped. She pushed her wire-framed glasses up her nose and scowled. “Can’t you walk in all quiet and graceful, like most ladies?”
Ignoring her friend’s intentional barb, Jack smiled. “I finally did it.”
“Did what?”
“Got my scoop—the story I wanted that will land me a job in Dallas.” As soon as she said the words, they tasted like curdled milk in her mouth. She’d stayed up half the night writing her article and the other half thinking about Noah’s kisses and trying to decide what to do. Was she ready to give up her long-time dream for a man? Did she actually want to leave Lookout and go to a town where she knew no one?
Jenny glanced down and read the article. With an ink-stained finger, she followed the letters Jack had written. Jack looked around the familiar office. Papers littered the building, stacked in every nook and cranny, and the large black printer sat in one corner, looking alone and ignored for the moment.
Pulling off her glasses, Jenny eyed her, as if weighing the truth of the article. “You’ve actually confirmed that the railroad is coming? I’ve been trying to pin down that info for months, without a speck of luck. Who’s your source?”
“I overheard the mayor talking with those two men he’s been escorting all over town.” Satisfaction welled up inside Jack, making her sit up straighter. She’d finally gotten her big story. There was a powerful feeling of success that she’d outsmarted the mayor, in spite of his avoiding her, and had learned what he’d tried so hard to keep quiet.
Yet writing this story, even though it was the biggest of her career, didn’t excite her as she’d expected it would. What was wrong with her?
A vision of Noah illuminated by the moonlight drifted through her mind. She hadn’t admitted it to Tessa or Penny, but she’d been attracted to him from the start. There was something about him that made her feel connected—as if they’d been friends for years instead of weeks. She couldn’t believe she was in love.
“If that grin on your face means what I think, I’d say you’ve got a right to be proud. I’ve not heard hide nor hair about a hotel being built here. How does your ma feel about it?”
Jack sucked in her top lip. What would Jenny say if she knew that it was Noah on her mind and not the article? “I haven’t told her yet. I don’t know how.”
Jenny lifted one brown brow. “You’d better tell her before the paper comes out.”
“I will.”
“Good job on this. It ought to stir up a lot of talk around town.”
Jack nodded. “Probably so.”
Jenny reached in a drawer and pulled out a letter, a tiny smile dancing on her lips. She held it as if it were something special, then handed it to Jack “I admit to having mixed feelings about giving you this, but I have a surprise.”
Curiosity bolted through her as fast as a horse off a starting line. Her heart flip-flopped. The wrinkled envelope addressed to Jenny Evans had Dallas Morning News imprinted in the upper left corner. She ran her thumb over the embossed letters, her hand shaking. Could this actually be the realization of her dream? Her gaze lifted to Jenny, whose mouth stretched into a wide smile. “Go ahead, open it.”
She pulled the paper from the envelope and nearly dropped it. She lifted the top of the page and began reading:
Dear Jenny,
Thank you for your letter recommending Jacqueline Davis as a reporter for the Dallas Morning News. I have read over the clippings you sent and am impressed with Miss Davis’s writing skill and creative talent for recording details while keeping the story interesting. Coming from a small town, she would have a fresh perspective on life in Dallas.
I’ve discussed Miss Davis with my superiors, and we are prepared to offer her a position in our Home Living Section. Should she accept the position, she will be responsible for posting a recipe each issue, researching and discussing new and innovative products that women could use in their homes, and covering fashion trends.
Jack’s hopes sank. “What do I know of fashion? I’d never wear a dress if it was socially acceptable for a woman to wear pants.”
“Just keep reading.”
Not quite as enthused as a moment ago, she started reading again:
If Miss Davis proves herself, as I believe she will based on your recommendation, we can discuss moving her into a more challenging position in the future. Just one thing, I can hold this position only until the end of the month, so please inform Miss Davis to contact me at her earliest convenience should she desire it.
As always, if you’re in Dallas, Jenny, be sure to stop in and allow me to take you to eat. We have some delightful cafés here.
Your friend,
Amanda Jones Bertram
Jack stared at the letter, trying to make sense of her roiling emotions.
Yes—she had a job offer from a Dallas newspaper.
No—it wasn’t the job she wanted.
Yes—there was the potential to one day become a news reporter.
But did she truly want to leave her family? To leave Noah?
In less than three weeks?
Jenny leaned back in her chair, her mouth twisted to one side and brows lifted. Jack sincerely hoped her less-than-enthusiastic response didn’t offend Jenny.
“Tell me what’s going on in that creative mind of yours. I know the Home Living Section isn’t what you had your heart set on, but I halfway expected you to be packing your bags by now.”
She had no idea how to answer her friend. Stalling, she blew out a heavy breath and read the missive again.
“Humph. It’s a man, isn’t it?”
Jack glanced up as her pulse jumped. “What?”
A knowing smile softened Jenny’s face. “You’ve met someone, and now you’re not so sure you want to leave town.”
“How do you know?”
“What else would stop a determined young woman like you from chasing her dream once it’s finally within reach?”
“What should I do?”
Jenny shrugged. “Only you can decide that.” She suddenly leaned forward, eyes narrowed. “But tell me who the man is. I may be the newspaper editor, but you really slipped the wool over my eyes on this story.”
Jack tried hard to control the embarrassed smile that twittered on her lips, but she couldn’t. “It all happened rather fast.”
“Surely it’s not that Billy Morgan.”
She shuddered at the thought of it. “Certainly not. Though if he had his way, we’d be married tomorrow. I can’t seem to get it through his head that I’m not interested.”
“Then who is it?”
“I don’t know if I should say. I’m not sure where things are headed.”
“And yet it’s serious enough for you to consider not following your dream to Dallas.”
“I suppose.”
Jenny lowered her head for a few moments, then looked at Jack again. “I know you’re independent-minded and don’t care for folks telling you what to do, but if you have some young man interested, one who can support you and cares about you, that’s a far better choice than working your feet and fingers to the bone, trying to sniff out stories for a paper.”
Jack’s mouth fell open. “I never thought I’d hear you vote for marriage over work.”
“I’ve lived alone for a long while and had time to reflect on things. I love my work, but as you get older, you think more about marriage and children. If I could do things over, I’m not certain I’d do them the same, but that’s water under the bridge.”
“You’re not too old to get married.”
Jenny snorted a laugh. “I’m too set in my ways. Besides, we’re not talking about me. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
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“Maybe you should talk to your folks and get some advice. ‘Course, neither one will like the idea of you running off to Dallas. And mind me, I will find out who your beau is.”
Jack knew she would. Jenny was good at her job. Hadn’t Jenny taught her all that she knew about reporting?
“I’d better get back home. Ma will be needing my help.” She held the letter to her chest. “I can’t thank you enough for this, Jenny.”
Her friend swatted her hand in the air. “Glad to help, although I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”
Jack smiled and stepped outside. The May sun shone bright, promising another beautiful day. Wildflowers had popped up along the edges of the boardwalk, adding color to the barren dirt street.
She felt as if she were being pulled in two directions at once, both having tremendous possibilities. The job in Dallas would mean a whole new life. A big city. New friends. New adventures.
But how could she leave her family?
How could she not watch Andrew learn to crawl? To talk?
And what about Noah?
She hadn’t known him long, but he sparked something inside her that she’d never felt before. He made her want to be a woman for the first time in her life. To try hard to be a better person.
As she crossed Bluebonnet Lane, she couldn’t help wondering which side of the tug-of-war would win.
Chapter 27
Jack was glad Jenny was such an early riser and had been at her office before breakfast. Waiting any longer to turn in her story would have been difficult. She reached for the doorknob of her house. A shrill scream suddenly rent the quiet morning. She spun around, frantically searching Main Street. Nothing looked out of place. A wagon was parked in front of the livery, but no one was on the street or boardwalk. What had happened?
Jenny burst out of the newspaper office, as did several other shop owners, each one looking around. It was far too early to be a saloon girl’s phony squeal when chased by an eager cowboy. Besides, the scream had sounded real—as if someone had been harmed or frightened out of their wits.
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