by Jacob Chance
Mama Jo steps out from behind the counter, looking me over in a way that makes me nervous. She’s important to Piper. What if she doesn’t like me?
“Hi. How are you?” I hold my hand out.
She waves my hand away and holds her arms out. “I’m not going to miss the opportunity to get a hug from such a strapping young man.”
I smile and step closer, hugging her.
“It’s nice to meet you, Donovan. Piper has told me a lot about you.”
“I hope some of it was good,” I say when we separate.
“There’s always positive even when there’s negative,” she replies before returning to the back room.
What the hell does that mean? Does she know about the past Piper and I share?
Piper steps out from behind the counter and rises on her toes to brush a quick kiss on my lips. “Stop worrying. They don’t know you’re the asshole who broke my heart.” She pats my cheek.
“That’s comforting.”
“Papa Lou’s not here right now. I wish I could introduce you to him.”
“I can meet him next time. I have a feeling I’m about to become a regular.”
The door chimes as another customer enters.
“Mom, what are you doing here?” Piper says.
My head snaps around, taking in my girlfriend’s mother. They share the same red hair color, but that’s where the resemblance ends. Her mom is shorter than Piper, with freckles dotting her face that make her look even younger than she is.
“I haven’t seen you in weeks and you’ve barely called. I figured I should stop by and see you. Give me a hug,” she orders.
Piper does as she asks, and when she steps back she aims a quick glance at me. “Mom, this is my boyfriend, Donovan.”
I step forward. “It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Kelly.” We shake hands.
“How long have you known each other?” she inquires.
“We met at hockey camp,” Piper answers for me. Mrs. Kelly’s eyebrows climb upward. “Mom, what can I get you?”
“Just a large coffee with cream.”
“Doesn’t this display entice you to get a donut or a pastry?” Piper asks while filling her coffee cup. She adds the cream and a lid, handing it over to her mom.
“I’m going to pass on the sweets.”
It suddenly occurs to me that her mom may want a minute alone with Piper. “I’ve got to head to class. I’ll see you later.” With a quick kiss on her forehead, I depart. I’m about to get in my truck when Mrs. Kelly calls my name. I close the door and return to the sidewalk.
“Did you need something?” I ask.
“I don’t approve of my daughter becoming involved with you again.”
What am I supposed to say to that?
“I understand your concern, but we’re both older and more mature now.” I hope I can alleviate her worry.
“No, you’re misunderstanding. I don’t care how mature you are, I still don’t want her anywhere near you.”
“May I ask why you’re so opposed to us being together?”
“My daughter came home from hockey camp with a broken heart.”
“She and I have worked through all of that,” I explain.
“Did you work through the baby part too?” she questions.
The baby part?
At a loss, I shake my head. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“I can see that you don’t know, but I’m going to tell you what Piper already should have. When the two of you had sex she got pregnant.”
“No. No way. I wore a condom.” I shake my head as if by doing so it means she’s wrong.
“Condoms aren’t foolproof, and I assure you I’m not making this up. She didn’t realize she was pregnant for the first two months, but when she started having morning sickness we quickly figured it out.”
I rake my hand through my hair. Why didn’t she tell me?
“Why didn’t she tell me?” I voice my thoughts.
“Piper had a miscarriage at ten weeks. There was no reason to contact you.”
What if she didn’t have a miscarriage? Would I have had a child and not know?
“I think you can agree with me that it’s probably best for the two of you to end whatever’s going on between you. Piper has had enough heartbreak in her life.” She turns and walks in the opposite direction.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” Each curse grows progressively louder. I’m getting more worked up with every second that passes. I turn one way only to turn the other. I don’t know what to do. Should I rush inside and confront Piper? Or get in my truck and drive the fuck away?
The second choice seems like my best option. Especially with my head spinning out like it is. I feel like I’m losing it and I don’t know how to make this anger stop.
I jump in my truck and pull onto the road. There’s no way I’m going to class. I can’t sit in the room with everyone else and pretend everything is fine when I just had my world turned on its ass. Why didn’t she tell me she was pregnant? We may have ended on a bad note, but how could she think I wouldn’t care if she was having my child? Or did she hate me so much that she didn’t want me involved?
I drive around aimlessly for an hour and then I turn toward Nolan and Perri’s apartment. I doubt they’ll be home and I have a spare key. This is the only place I stand a chance of having peace and quiet to think. If I go to the frat there will be too much going on.
Fifteen minutes later, I’m knocking on their door. There’s no one home, so I unlock the door and step inside. The apartment is spotless and I envy them for living here. Sometimes the frat house gets to me. No one puts their shit away. I’m not saying I’m perfect about cleaning up after myself, but I seem like Mr. Clean compared to the other guys.
I kick my sneakers off and make my way to the couch. I fall down onto the leather and close my eyes. I need to come up with a game plan for what I’m going to say to Piper. We need to discuss everything before I make any decisions about us. Then and only then will I know if we have a future together or not.
“Donovan,” Perri calls my name as she pokes my shoulder. My eyelids snap open.
“Oh shit. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“You must’ve needed the rest.” It feels weird with her standing beside the couch, peering down at me, so I sit up. “Are you okay?” she asks, sitting next to me.
“Yeah.” I rub the sleep from my eyes and that’s when the conversation with Piper’s mother comes back to me. I can’t believe I shut my brain down long enough to nap, but I’m glad I did. I don’t have that burning anger racing through my veins any longer. Now I’m just hurt over it.
“Want to tell me what happened?” Perri asks.
Leaning forward, I dangle my hands between my knees and stare at the hardwood floor. “I met Piper’s mother today and it didn’t go well.”
“Don’t worry about that. You have plenty of time to get to know her better.”
“That’s not what I mean. Just hear me out for a minute.” She nods and I continue. “Mrs. Kelly told me that Piper was pregnant with my baby after the hockey camp.”
Perri gasps. “Oh my God.”
“She ended up having a miscarriage at ten weeks.”
“Oh, no.” Perri covers her mouth with her hand.
“I don’t know what to do,” I husk, my voice filled with emotion. “Piper never told me about the baby back then and she still hasn’t told me. Last night, I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. How could she agree when she knew she was hiding this massive secret?”
Perri rubs my shoulder comfortingly. “She was only eighteen and not very experienced from what you told us.”
“Yeah, I was her first.”
“This is going to be hard for you to hear, but I want you to put yourself in her shoes for a minute. Imagine how she felt when she found out she was pregnant. If I’d have gotten pregnant as a teenager, I’d have lost my mind. Hell, I’m still not ready.”
Turning my head toward Perr
i, I reply, “I have tried to see it from her perspective, and I understand that it was horrible and scary, but I still had a right to know.”
“Absolutely. Maybe she planned to tell you?” Perri reasons.
“Even after she lost the baby she should’ve told me.” I won’t make excuses for her.
“Did she have your address or your phone number?”
“Who’s side are you on?” I spit out the question.
“I’m always on yours, but that doesn’t mean I won’t play devil’s advocate. Did she have your address or phone number? You still haven’t answered.”
I release a long frustration-filled sigh. “No, but she could’ve had Rachel ask Jeremy for it. There were ways to get in touch with me if she wanted to.”
She tentatively pats me on the back like she doesn’t quite know what to do to ease my pain.“You seem really hurt and upset about the situation. What are you going to do?”
I throw my hands up in a gesture of helplessness. “I guess she and I need to talk. But I don’t know if I’m up for it tonight. I might need to think about everything a little longer. I don’t want to make a decision based on anger and regret it later.”
“I think that’s a good idea. Do you want to stay for dinner? Nolan will be home soon. You guys can have some beers and hang out.”
“As great as that offer sounds, I think I’m going to head back to my room at the frat. Can I take a raincheck?”
“Of course you can. And make sure you bring Piper with you so we can meet her.” She smirks.
“I honestly hope this doesn’t ruin us. There’s nothing I’d like better than to introduce her to my family.”
Perri places her hands over her heart. “Aww, you called me family.”
“Well, you are. If you and Nolan aren’t meant to stay together, then I don’t know who is.” I lean over and kiss her cheek. “Thank you for listening.”
She shakes her head. “Please don’t thank me. That’s what family is for.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Piper
I haven’t heard from Donovan at all since this morning. I texted him a couple of times and also tried to call, but he never answered or replied. I hope he’s okay. We haven’t been back in each other’s lives for long, but he’s always great about keeping in touch.
I couldn’t concentrate during hockey practice because I was so worried. The coach got after me because I played so poorly. And now it’s after eight o’clock and I still don’t know where he is.
I’m not sure what the proper girlfriend protocol is in this situation. Should I go to the frat and see if he’s there? Or should I give him some space and let him reach out when he wants to? Shit. I really don’t know what to do. It’s moments like this where some more relationship experience would be helpful.
Wait a second. I might not have the experience, but I have friends who do. Grabbing my phone from the coffee table, I pull up Clover’s information and type out a text.
Me: I suck at relationships and need your advice.
She responds almost immediately.
Clover: What’s going on?
Me: Remember how I told you in class this morning that Donovan and I were together? Well, I haven’t heard from him since he stopped by the bakery this morning. What should I do?
Clover: Maddie and I are at the frat right now and he’s here. He’s inebriated, but he’s fine.
Something must be on his mind if he’s drinking. He told me he doesn’t like to drink too much because of hockey. I know how important that is to him. It would take something huge for him to risk fucking up.
He was fine this morning when he left the bakery. What could’ve happened between then and now to upset him so much?”
I know my mom was weird with him. She wasn’t happy that we’re together again. I was surprised she didn’t stay at the bakery longer and lecture me. That’s what she usually does.
Oh, Jesus, no. Did she talk to Donovan after she left? Is she the reason why he’s not talking to me and he’s drinking?
Pacing around the living room, I dial her number. “Hello,” she answers.
“Mom, did you tell Donovan about the baby?” Closing my eyes, I hold my breath. Please say no. Please say no.
“I did. He needed to know.”
“Mom,” I shout. “It wasn’t your place to tell him. How could you?” I’m crying now. Tears are streaming down my cheeks. This is so bad, and what’s even worse is I was betrayed by my own mother.
“You’re still my daughter. No matter how old you are, I'm always going to do what’s right for you.”
“How selfish of you to make that choice for me. I get to say what’s best for me, Mom. Not you. Don’t you ever stick your nose in my business again or we'll be through. If I can’t trust you, then you won’t be in my life.” I disconnect the call and throw myself down face-first on the couch. Hugging the pillow to my chest, I cry copious amounts of tears. I just hurt the only guy I’ve ever loved and I may have ruined our relationship, all in record time. I can’t lose him. I can’t bear to go through the pain of being without him all over again.
Please, please, please, forgive me.
It’s been nearly thirty-seven hours since I saw or heard from Donovan. He’s still not answering my calls or texts. Now that I know the reason why, it feels worse to me. I’m devastated that his heart must be hurting so much. He probably thinks I was never going to tell him.
“Piper, you need to snap out of the fog and get with the program here. We need your help if we’re going to win this game,” Rachel tells me. The score is tied and we’re nearing the end of the game.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t know how much help I’ll be.”
“Piper Kelly, you’ve never been someone who let anything get in the way of your hockey.” She pokes me in the chest. “Not a guy. Not even a broken heart. So get your shit together and be the inspiration that you usually are. Do it for me and every other female in this building.”
Damn. That was quite a speech.
“You’re right. I need to get my focus in check and take the win that we deserve.”
Rachel grins and smacks my arm. “That’s what I’m talking about.”
On the next play, I watch the puck like a hawk looking for prey. When I see an opportunity, I steal the black disc from our opponent and pass it to Rachel who has an open path to the net. She shoots and the goalie dives to the side to make the stop. But the buzzer and the light above the net go off just as the final second ticks from the clock.
“We won,” Rachel shouts, hugging me. “You did it. You motherfucking badass. You did it.”
“No, you did it,” I correct. “If it weren’t for your pep talk, I wouldn’t have stripped the puck away.”
“I couldn’t have made the shot without your perfect setup, so I guess we’ll both have to take the credit,” Rachel says adamantly.
I nod. “Two badass hockey players are better than one.” As we skate toward the exit, my eyes scan the crowd, looking for the one face I want to see more than anything, but they come up empty. He’s not here. My heart feels like it’s being squeezed inside my chest, and I deserve every bit of the pain. It’s probably a small fraction compared to what Donovan is experiencing.
After the game, I showered, got dressed, and ran to my car. There was only one place I wanted to be and I couldn’t stand to wait any longer. I made a quick stop at my place to grab something and now that I’m standing on the frat house stoop I’m having second thoughts. What if seeing me makes him feel worse? Maybe he needs space and it’s selfish of me to come here.
What if he won’t talk to me? You can’t make someone speak if they don’t want to.
Maybe he’s never going to say another word to me again. My heart is racing as fast as my thoughts and I’m dizzy.
Bending over, I put my hands on my knees and drop my head. I slow my breathing and take deeper breaths. Once I’ve calmed down, I push the doorbell before I can change my mind.
The
door opens and I’m face-to-face with Donovan. His expression turns stony when he sees me. My mouth opens and no words flow out. Tears fill my eyes and I battle them back. I don’t want him to think I’m turning on the waterworks as a form of manipulation.
“Can we talk?” I croak out the question.
“I’m not sure we have any reason to.” He shoves his hands in the front pockets on his worn jeans.
“Please. There’s a lot I need to tell you.”
“I think your mother said it all just fine.” He’s being so matter-of-fact that I want to scream.
“I want you to hear my version of what happened, not my mother’s. She had no right to tell you any of that.”
“Someone had to.”
“I was planning to. I just wanted us to be in a good place first.” I glance over to see a couple walking down the sidewalk. “Can we please go somewhere to talk? I have a lot to say and I don’t want an audience for it. Please, Donovan.”
He nods, but he doesn’t look pleased to be agreeing. He steps back, inviting me inside. “We can talk in my room. No one else is home.”
I cross the threshold and follow him up the wide staircase. His room is halfway down the hall and larger than I expected. His bed is made and his clothes are put away. He’s neater than I imagined he’d be.
“Sit down,” Donovan points at the bed. I perch on the edge of the mattress while he sits in the computer chair at his desk. He spins around to face me. “You wanted to talk, so talk.” He half shrugs like he doesn’t care what I do, and maybe he doesn’t. It’s possible that what my mother told him instantly killed whatever love he felt for me.
His eyes, usually so warm, are unbearably cold as they rest on me. He doesn’t even resemble the man I love. Is he still in there?
“When I left the hockey camp, I was devastated that you’d broken up with me. I felt used by you.”
“I never used you.”
“I said I felt used, not that I was. But you did break up with me the morning after we had sex.” He nods, and I’m thankful he’s being quiet. Telling this story is difficult enough, and backtracking would only make it harder. “I didn’t shed a tear on the ride home because I didn’t want my mom to know what had happened. She would only remind me that boys are scum and can’t be trusted. I wasn’t up for a lecture.
