Serena would have liked to ignore him, but something spurred her on. 'What if I did feel compassion for her?' she said in a low voice that vibrated with pent-up tension. 'You wouldn't understand, anyway. Compassion is not an emotion you've ever felt. What if I were Lisa? Wouldn't I feel something? No one,' she said bitterly, 'is all bad, but you're so twisted inside you can't even entertain the thought that she might have stayed away because she was ashamed of what she had done.'
'And are you?' he said softly, then sighed elaborately. 'You know, I sometimes wish I had more faith in human nature, for you might have fooled me.'
A stifled sob behind them made them turn, to find Molly walking slowly towards them. Both were aware of the tidings she had to convey to them, although it was no less of a shock.
Jordan, laying a comforting arm around Molly's shoulders, escorted her back to the house, but Serena stayed where she was. A sob escaped her and the tears slid down her cheeks. She had never known her grandparents and she couldn't have been more fond of them than she had been of Mrs Tonetti.
'There's no need to overact the grieving relation bit,' Jordan's cold voice spoke behind her. 'The doctor's gone and Molly's lying down with a sedative.'
Serena turned towards him. He was so close she had only to lean forward and her head would rest on that strong shoulder so invitingly near. In her need for solace her bowed head rested wearily against him. 'Please, Jordan, not now,' she whispered.
For a brief second he stiffened, then with a soft groan his arms crushed her to him and his lips found hers.
The kiss was savage, but it awoke an answering echo in Serena. It also awoke her to a world of beauty, of giving and taking, of desire and a certain knowledge that until this moment she had lived in a vacuum not really knowing what life was all about. She could even understand the brutality as her soft lips were ruthlessly pounded.
She knew that as she had sought consolation, so too did he. For one brief flight in time they met on another plane, each desperately needing one another.
Then she was flung from him and the fury in his voice brought her back to cold reality.
'So that's how it's done, is it?' he ground out. 'What am I supposed to do now—compensate you with a fat cheque? And be besotted enough to collect on the dividend? Well, it didn't come off. You couldn't even wait until after the funeral before trying your charms out on me, could you? Well, get this, and get it good. As far as I'm concerned you're a tramp—a high class one, maybe, but still a tramp. I'd sooner tangle with a scorpion! Now we've got that little business out of the way I suggest you go and pack. You've got thirty minutes in which to do it. I want you on that plane and off my land in the shortest possible time.'
Serena tried to collect her scattered wits. She was being allowed to leave? Her start did not go unnoticed.
'Yes,' he jeered. 'Back to New York and your fancy friends, and they're more than welcome to you!'
'The funeral?' Serena asked hesitantly, thinking how odd it would look if she weren't there.
'Fancy yourself in black?' he inquired silkily. 'Or were you hoping there might still be a little something for you in the will? I'm sorry, but that's just not on. I want you off my land, pronto!'
He turned to go, then swung back to her. 'Haven't you forgotten something?' he asked in that hateful soft voice of his, and held his hand out. 'The ring, if you please.'
Serena gave another start. She had forgotten the ring, and with a quick movement she slipped it off her finger. She was about to hand it to him when he said, 'Did you hope I'd forgotten it? Or was that what the kiss was for?'
Goaded beyond all reason, Serena flung the ring at him. It landed at his feet, its brilliant stone picking up the rays from the moon lay flashing on the ground.
He made no move to retrieve it but looked at her. 'Pick it up,' he said in a dangerously soft voice.
In a voice that slightly trembled Serena replied, 'Pick it up yourself!'
Her arm was caught in that familiar iron hold and was forced down to where the ring lay. 'Now pick it up,' he said in a voice that brooked no argument.
This time he did leave, and Serena stood staring after him with the nails of her fingers digging into her palms.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Serena's abrupt arrival in New York was met with surprise by her mother and barely concealed triumph by Roger, who adopted a 'you may kiss my hand' attitude, indicating to Serena that although she had hurt him he was quite willing to forgive her.
However, Serena was in no mood to respond to this kind of tactic; she was heartsick and incredibly weary; and the thought that her whole life had been turned upside down in such a short period of time seemed barely conceivable.
With a tact that Serena didn't know her mother possessed, she ushered her out of the room and into Serena's. Helping her unpack and ringing for a tray of tea, she chatted on about this and that, never once mentioning a certain person's name, although Serena knew she was consumed with curiosity. Come to that, so was Roger, but it was a curiosity that would have to remain unsatisfied until Serena was more in command of herself. She didn't want to think about it, but she knew she would; she also knew she ought to be thanking her lucky stars that it was all over.
No more worrying about saying the right thing or being treated as a second class citizen. No more Mrs
Tonetti; she hastily blinked away the mistiness this thought brought. She had to remember she had died happy; and she had been happy, Serena thought sadly, remembering her unconcealed delight at the news of the 'engagement'. Serena suspected it was this very event that had caused the collapse—too much excitement after years of loneliness.
She also suspected that Jordan Kerr had come to the same conclusion. It would, she thought wearily, account for that one weak moment when he had kissed her so savagely. Hastily she brought her thoughts back in an effort to try and concentrate on what her mother was talking about. Tomorrow, she told herself, she would see things in a different light, even be able to enjoy herself.
Serena hadn't even noticed that her mother had left the room until she came back and remarked happily, 'I've just left Roger organising the cruise. We leave as planned on Monday. He's sick and tired of being tied to the hotel room. Said he might as well collect a tan while he has to stay put until that ankle's stronger. He didn't break it, by the way.'
Giving her mother a wry smile for the tactful hint, Serena exclaimed, 'Oh dear, and I didn't even inquire how he felt!'
Mrs Belmont patted her daughter's hand. 'Well, you can make up for it during the cruise,' she said soothingly. 'I must say it's nice seeing him in good humour again.' She gave Serena a considering look.
'You know he's very fond of you, dear, don't you?'
Serena nodded dumbly, thinking Jordan Kerr hadn't been all that far off the mark where her mother was concerned. She wanted to see Serena happily married, but it had to be to a rich man, it would never occur to Mrs Belmont that the two might not go together. Poverty was a nasty word where she was concerned and happiness out of the question if the bank balance was slender.
On her own once more, Serena thought about the coming cruise and wished she could Work up a little more enthusiasm about it. Roger's excuse about getting a tan was a barely disguised ruse to keep her safe in close proximity. He was taking no chances of her doing the disappearing act again. Serena knew she ought to have been grateful that someone cared enough about her to adopt such strategy.
Two days later, while sunning herself on the deck of the luxury yacht, Serena came to a decision. If Roger asked her to marry him again, which she was certain would be any day now, she would agree.
Not because she loved him but because she had made the catastrophic discovery that she was hopelessly and irrevocably in love with Jordan Kerr. She did not try and delude herself that that love would ever be returned. He was as far out of her reach as he might have been had they never met; more so, she thought wearily, for he would never know the truth, and even if he did, he would only at t
he best feel apologetic, and in spite of her earlier thoughts on the matter Serena could not have borne that. She would far rather he went on hating her for what he thought she was.
She turned over on to her back and lay gazing up at the bright blue cloudless sky. Maria, she thought miserably. It all came back to Maria; how Jordan must have loved her! Serena's eyes moistened; whoever he eventually married would have to contend with a ghost. Would Myrna lay the ghost? Blinking the moisture away from her eyes, Serena couldn't believe that she would. She had only seen the hard side of his nature, but she was certain he was not a man to give his heart lightly. He would swear allegiance to but one woman, there would never be a second-best for him.
Mrs Tonetti had loved Maria too, and that, Serena thought, would endear Jordan to her. She felt a touch on her arm and glanced up to meet Roger's probing eyes.
'Ready to name the day?' he asked casually as he dropped down beside her.
Serena's voice was calm as she answered. He knows, she thought, he knows I'm in love with someone I can't have, but he doesn't care; he wants me enough to accept me on any terms. 'Ready when you are,' she replied just as casually.
Roger's breath caught and he pulled her up into a sitting position to face him. Slowly his eyes went over her face and met her eyes. 'Finished careering off into the blue, have you?' he asked steadily.
Serena-knew what he meant. He was asking if it was all over—or rather telling her it had better be, she thought wearily, and nodded mutely.
Satisfied, he drew her into his arms and held her possessively close to him. With his lips on her hair he murmured, 'You'll never regret it, darling.'
She had to steel herself to meet the kiss he gave her. His lips were firm and the kiss was not distasteful, but her whole being cried out against his touch. She tried hard to respond but failed miserably.
When Roger released her his eyes were narrowed and on her lips, then he said slowly, 'You'll have to do better than that, Serena. I've waited a long time for this moment. You gave your word and I don't intend to release you, so don't have any second thoughts, will you?' He got up stiffly and picked his stick up. Before he limped away, he said, 'I'm announcing the engagement at supper tonight; meanwhile, think about what I've just said.'
Serena couldn't help obeying these instructions; for one thing she was appalled by the change in Roger's attitude to her. Although she knew he was dominant and liked his own way, he had been very careful in the past to wield the velvet glove where she was concerned. By those few but devastating words she had been given an insight of the future that stretched before her as his wife.
He would not only be domineering, but a jealous and possessive husband. She swallowed. It was too late now to back out—not that he'd let her; he'd told her that, too.
The sound of laughter came from the bar in the cabin beneath where she was lying. Soon, she knew, her mother would come in search of her to congratulate her. Roger would, of course make a point of informing her first. The other members of the party that numbered a dozen, mostly business acquaintances of Roger's with either their wives or their girl-friends, would be advised of the event as Roger had intimated, at supper that evening.
He would probably arrange a fanfare of trumpets, she thought miserably; Roger was all for pomp and ceremony, and the ring he would slip on her finger in front of the gathered assembly? She narrowed her eyes. It would be ostentatious and very, very costly.
Thinking of one ring, another was invariably brought to mind and Serena could still feel the weight of it on her third finger even though it was no longer there. The tears pricked dangerously near the surface and making a vain effort to shake off these sad memories, she told herself with bitter humour that not every girl got engaged twice in one week and she really ought to feel honoured!
Mrs Belmont, when she had managed to tear herself away from a Mr Janson, a widower and rich industrialist, who had formed a predilection for her company, finally located her daughter in her cabin preparing to dress for the supper party.
'Darling!' she exclaimed, pulling Serena close, 'I'm so happy for you. I knew you would say yes eventually, but I was so afraid you…' she hesitated as she met Serena's eyes. 'Well,' she went on lamely, 'money isn't everything, is it?'
Serena started to laugh, but she wasn't really laughing, it was more in the nature of a mild attack of hysterics. Of all the people to make such a profound statement…!
'Serena?' asked Mrs Belmont uncertainly, not liking the lost, haunted look in her daughter's eyes.
Wiping her eyes, Serena smiled wanly. 'It's all right, Mother. I suppose the past events have caught up with me. I know it's for the best, and I suppose one day I'll…' she choked on the last few words, then pulled herself together. 'You'd better get ready, hadn't you? And I must hurry or Roger will be pounding on the door demanding to know what's keeping me.'
Mrs Belmont had never known her daughter to be unhappy, and she loved her very much. For the first time she realised, somewhat belatedly, that what she had been urging Serena to do for months might not bring her the happiness she so desperately wanted for her. 'Darling, you don't have to… Roger will…' she began hesitantly.
Giving her a wry smile, Serena pushed her to the door. 'I said it's going to be all right,' she said firmly. 'Stop worrying and let me get on and dress.'
Mrs Belmont did leave then, but it was obvious she had a lot on her mind, and Serena, wearily closing the cabin door after her, knew she wouldn't leave it at that. As for what she had said about Roger understanding, or would have said if given the opportunity, Serena sighed; her mother didn't know Roger half as well as she thought she did, and if she made any attempt to talk him out of the engagement she was in for a rude awakening.
Serena wore the white organdie gown she had worn at Jordan's ball. It brought back painful memories, but so would her blue velvet, she thought miserably. She couldn't discard them, they were the only evening dresses she had brought with her. A tap on the cabin door told her Roger was waiting for her and the look he gave her brought his last words sharply into focus again, and Serena almost shivered as he silently pulled her into his arms before escorting her to supper.
His kiss was fierce and demanding and again she tried to respond, and once again failed. The little smile he gave at her quick withdrawal from his arms worried Serena even more than his words had done. It promised firm action later that evening when they were alone.
She knew a moment's panic, then firmly took herself in hand. She was only getting engaged, after all, not married. She could still break it off if Roger persisted in treating her as if he owned her body and soul.
The small but luxurious dining room was as yet half empty when they arrived, and two stewards stood by waiting to serve the meal. The others would be taking their aperitifs in the bar and Serena, knowing Roger would wait until they were all seated before making the announcement, fervently hoped they would take their time.
She wondered if she were dreaming when the cry went up. 'Pirates!' shrieked a feminine voice. Then there were more shrieks and then laughter. Serena glanced at Roger, but he was as nonplussed as she. His eyebrows rose a fraction, then one of the guests, meeting his eyes, grinned. 'It's a stunt, I expect. We're not far from Blue Island, I believe it's one of the attractions there.'
Blue Island! The very name started Serena's heart palpitating. What if Jordan were one of them? Her mouth felt dry. She prayed that if he were present he would stay on deck and having made an appearance, make his departure with equal speed! Only too well could she imagine his reaction on seeing her on board, and with Roger! As usual, his eyes would say it all.
Suddenly the laughter and shrieks grew louder, and the next moment the room seemed filled with 'pirates'.
Against her will Serena's eyes were drawn to their leader, standing so straight and tall in front of his men. Almost as if he knew I was here, she thought bewilderedly as his eyes met hers and stayed on hers as he walked slowly towards their table.
Feeli
ng a distinct urge to run, Serena gripped her serviette tightly and tried to break that mesmeric hold he had on her.
Reaching their table, Jordan gave them a mocking bow and Roger, entering into the spirit of the thing, said, 'I'm afraid we've no treasure on board, old man, but you're welcome to as much rum as you can sink.'
Jordan's eyes slowly left Serena and turned to Roger. 'Oh, but you have treasure,' he murmured softly, his eyes returning to Serena. 'And I'm afraid I'm going to relieve you of it.'
Even if she had wanted to move, Serena couldn't. It was as if her limbs were turned to jelly. He's playing with me again, she told herself wildly. She couldn't go through that again, anything was better than that. 'Roger' she began desperately, but the rest of the sentence was never uttered as she found herself firmly caught and slung into a vaguely familiar position over Jordan's broad shoulders.
In sheer panic she struggled to release herself, but she knew from past experience that she was not going to be successful.
The action had so surprised Roger it had taken a second or so for him to recover and he made an attempt to free the struggling Serena, but he was handicapped by his ankle. 'I think the joke's gone a little too far,' he commented caustically. 'Would you mind releasing my fiancée?'
Jordan's grasp on Serena tightened as he looked back at Roger. 'I saw no ring,' he commented casually. 'Besides, she makes a habit of getting engaged, didn't you know? I intend to cure that tendency!' he added as he turned towards the door with his unwilling captive.
Roger made a grab at his stick and glared at the grinning men around him. 'John!' he commanded to one nearest him. 'For heaven's sake, do something! Don't just stand there grinning!'
'It's okay, old man,' replied John, 'I've seen it all before. He'll return her within a short while.'
Jordan stopped in his tracks and turned back to the company. 'I regret I must disabuse you. This is one prize I shall not be returning.' This assertion, though quietly said, set up shock waves.
Jane Corrie - The Bahamian Pirate Page 11
