by Sherry Lewis
“Thank you.” Pride warmed him clear through. “I think so, too.”
Sharon smiled softly. “She’s coming to see you over spring break, then? You must be looking forward to that.”
Gabe nodded. “Yes, I am. But I’m a little anxious, too.”
That seemed to surprise Sharon. “Why?”
“Because I haven’t seen her in so long, and things are kind of touchy between us.”
“I have trouble believing that. You’re great with Emilee and Christa. I’m sure they’d love to meet her while she’s here.” Sharon sipped water and set the glass back on the table, running her fingers over the condensation for a second before she added, “I would, too.”
Gabe stiffened, realizing a moment of truth had arrived. “I—” He broke off and tried again. “It may be some time before she’s ready to meet you all.”
Hurt filled Sharon’s eyes. “Why?”
Gabe smiled, hoping to soften the sting a little. “It’s been so long since she and I have seen each other. I think she’s really nervous about being with me. And she has to visit with her grandparents. I kind of promised her we’d wait before I introduce her to you.”
“Well, I can’t say I’m not disappointed, but I do understand,” Sharon said.
“Thank you,” Gabe said and then tried again to change the subject. “I don’t want to talk about the kids all night. I’d like to know more about you.”
Sharon’s eyes softened. “Okay. What would you like to know?”
He settled on something insignificant. “What kinds of movies do you like?”
“Romantic movies are my favorites, but I like almost everything except horror. What about you?”
“Adventure, mostly. Stuff with lots of action.” He let a moment of silence pass, then thought of another question. “Do you like to travel?”
“Very much. Do you?”
Gabe nodded and dunked a tortilla chip into salsa. “Where’s your favorite place?”
She gave that some thought. He watched the way her eyes shifted to one side as her hair caught the light. Her beauty overwhelmed him sometimes.
She shifted her gaze back to his and smiled. “I loved New England. The atmosphere is so…charming. The air even feels different. The huge rivers, the small towns with their town squares and white churches. The coast with its tiny fishing villages… I loved the confusion of Boston, and the almost reverent feeling I got when we went someplace historical. It was as if those people were all still there, wanting us to understand what life was like for them and what they’d dreamed of for us.” She let out a wistful sigh. “What’s your favorite place?”
“Alaska.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s huge and raw and bigger than life.”
Sharon smiled. “I’ve never been there.”
“Everyone should visit Alaska at least once in their life.” And he’d love to be the one to take her there.
“Maybe someday.” She toyed with her napkin for a moment, but some of the tension seemed to leave her. “My turn. What do you do when you’re not working?”
“There’s a bar close to my house. Milago’s. I usually drop in there after work for a few minutes.” Never before had that sounded as pathetic as it did to him now. “What do you do?”
“I’m usually at home doing laundry or cooking dinner or cleaning something.” She brushed a strand of hair away from her face and let her gaze travel toward the front windows. “But sometimes I wonder what I’d do if the girls didn’t live with me.”
“What do you think you’d do?”
She shrugged. “I’ve been a mother for almost half my life. It’s hard to imagine anything else.”
“Maybe you should. After all, they’re not going to be around forever. One of these days, you’re going to be on your own.”
Her eyes filled with panic. “That thought scares me. Isn’t that horrible?”
He put a hand over hers and rubbed his thumb across her palm. “Not at all. I think it’s probably normal.”
“Sometimes I think I’ve been a mother for so long, I’ve forgotten who I am.” She smiled wryly. “I’ll probably turn into one of those overbearing mothers who can’t let their kids live their own lives.”
“I don’t think that will happen,” he assured her.
“I wish I could be that certain. Sometimes—” She broke off and her eyes filled with doubt. “Sometimes, especially lately, I worry that I’m already doing it.”
“You worry that you’re interfering in your kids’ lives?”
Sharon shook her head slowly. “Not that, exactly. But I do wonder if I’m living my life through them.”
Gabe sandwiched her hand between both of his, surprised to find it felt exactly right. “You don’t have to do that, you know.”
She started to say something more, but broke off and waited while the waitress came to check on them. When they were alone again, she said, “I’ve always admired people who take risks, but I’ve always taken the safe route.”
He scowled at her. “I don’t believe that.”
“It’s true. I married the first man who came along and had two children almost immediately. And I’ve spent my life hiding behind them.”
“But you got a divorce,” he argued. “And you went back to school and struck out on your own. Those were all risks.”
She shook her head. “No, they weren’t. Not really. If Nick hadn’t left me, I’d probably still be with him. Miserable, but still there. And going back to school… Well, that was a necessity.”
“No, it wasn’t. You could have made other choices.”
She looked doubtful.
“You could have taken another job that didn’t require an education. There are plenty of them out there. Or you could have jumped into marriage again and let some man support you.”
“I’d never get married just for security.”
“That proves what I’m saying, doesn’t it? There are half a dozen easy choices you could have made, but you didn’t. You took a risk instead.”
Her lips curved softly. “Maybe you’re right.”
“I know I’m right.” He sent her a playful scowl. “I’m not sure I like this honest self-analysis. It makes you sad. Besides, if you’re going to do it, I’ll have to do it, too.”
She laughed. “Well, that would be terrible.”
Gabe’s smile grew. “I have a plan for after dinner that will just about guarantee we won’t have any more soul-searching conversations.”
She laughed again, and he liked knowing he’d made her happy, if only for a moment. “What do you have in mind?”
“Dancing.”
“Dancing?” Her eyes widened and her smile faltered. “If you think dancing will keep me from soul-searching, you’re wrong. But I did say I wanted to start taking chances, so I might as well start tonight. After all, I’m here with you, aren’t I? I’ve already taken one.”
“Are you saying that coming here with me tonight is a risk?”
She held his gaze steadily. “Isn’t it? It’s taking our relationship in a different direction…out of the safe zone of kids and work—”
Yes, he admitted silently, it was a risk—for both of them. He’d never had a relationship that scared him half as much as this one did. Nor one that made it so difficult to keep his mind and heart detached. But this—
He drew a steadying breath and stared into Sharon’s eyes. He’d only kissed her a couple of times. Yet he felt a stronger attachment to her than he’d ever felt to any woman in his life. And he knew, suddenly and without question, that he wouldn’t be able to pull back this time. Even if he’d stood up and walked out of the restaurant right that minute, he’d have to come back to her eventually. He no longer had a choice.
He was in love for the first time in his life.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
WITH GROWING RESIGNATION, Sharon watched the emotions playing on Gabe’s face. His eyes lit for a moment, then darkened again. That lopsided smile to
yed with his lips. She’d accepted his invitation to dinner, thinking that this might be their first and last real date. In all the discussions she’d had with herself, she’d concluded that she had to put an end to their relationship before it went any further. But the sight of him holding that single white rose had been her undoing.
She loved him. No matter how hard she resisted, she couldn’t change that. Wise or foolish, she longed for his company, for the sound of his voice and the deep rumble of his laugh. But all her longing didn’t change the facts. He’d be a great diversion, but he wasn’t made to be permanent.
To Sharon’s relief, the waitress chose that moment to bring their food. They both began eating, breaking the silence only to comment on their meals, the strolling mariachi band or some other inane subject. Her mind skipped ahead to the time when he’d hold her in his arms on the dance floor, then careened toward the inevitable end of their relationship. An end that would hurt her and destroy the girls.
After Gabe paid the bill, he led her toward his truck. She walked slowly, breathing in his scent as they walked, savoring the feel of him beside her. He opened her door and waited while she settled herself inside, and she tried to still her trembling hands when he slid onto the seat beside her.
He put the key into the ignition, then turned to look at her. He searched her face with his eyes, robbing her of breath. She felt as if her heart had vaulted into her throat.
Slowly, he released the key and reached for her. Ignoring the warning bells, she ran one hand to his shoulder and left it there as he leaned in to kiss her.
“This is pretty sad, isn’t it? I feel like a teenager kissing you in my car,” he said.
The mention of teenagers brought reality crashing down around her again. She pulled back and tried to remain rational. “I think I’d better forget the dancing and go home,” she forced herself to say.
He stiffened and disappointment filled his eyes. “Are you sure?”
She nodded, battling the tears she didn’t want him to see. “It’s a bad idea. I think we both know that. The kids will be wondering where I am, anyway.”
“Yeah.” He ground the key in the ignition. “We wouldn’t want to worry them.”
Sharon closed her eyes, willing the tears to go away. He’d gotten the message loud and clear, and she’d lost him. She could hear it in his voice and see it in his posture as he drove. From what she’d been told about him, Gabe Malone was not used to being rejected. By this time next year, he probably wouldn’t even remember her name.
SHARON PUSHED THE BUTTON to open the garage door and waited impatiently for it to lift so she could drive the car inside. She’d been in a foul mood all day—even she couldn’t deny that—and now that she was home, her mood took a downswing.
Since Saturday, she’d tried to put Gabe out of her mind. She’d worked hard, graded exam papers, she’d even spent her lunch hour researching a new textbook, but even while she’d carried on conversations with other people, the memory of that night had tormented her. As she’d lectured her classes, the look on his face had danced through her mind.
She pulled into the garage, shut off the car and started to gather her things from the seat beside her. Before she could get out of the car, the door to the house opened and Emilee stepped into the garage—barefoot.
“You’re home early,” Emilee called as she took mincing steps toward the car.
Sharon nodded and climbed out to face her. “Am I?”
“A little.” Emilee brushed a kiss to her cheek and reached for her briefcase. “I would have started dinner, but I didn’t know what you’d planned to cook.”
For the first time in a long time, Sharon hadn’t planned anything. In fact, she hadn’t given it a thought. She worked up a smile and pulled a suggestion out of thin air. “That’s because I thought we’d go out for dinner. How does that sound?”
She expected Emilee to look excited. Instead, her eyes narrowed and her smile faded. “You want to go out?”
“I thought we would.” She took a long look at Emilee’s expression. “Don’t you want to?”
“But…” Emilee looked away for a second, but when she turned back, she wore a smile. “But won’t Gabe be here tonight?”
“I don’t know.”
“Didn’t he call you last night?”
“No, he didn’t.” She hadn’t expected him to—she knew he’d had family plans—but his silence still hurt.
“Why not?”
Sharon stalled by pulling her purse from the car. But in the end, she decided it made sense to tell the girls the truth. “I don’t think Gabe and I will be seeing each other anymore.”
Emilee gaped at her. “Why not?”
“Things just didn’t work out,” Sharon said, stepping into the house. Music pounded from the living room, scattering her thoughts like petals in the wind.
“Mom—” Emilee trailed her. “You can’t say something like that and then walk away. What happened?”
Sharon set her things on the kitchen counter and turned to face her. “We’re too different, Emilee. It wouldn’t have lasted, anyway.” She walked into the living room and lowered the volume on the stereo.
“Mom and Gabe broke up,” Emilee said to Christa before Sharon could get a word out.
The look of horror on Christa’s face matched Emilee’s. “No way.”
Sharon stared from one to the other. “For heaven’s sake, you two. We weren’t ever together. We had one date.”
Emilee ticked her tongue in irritation. “Yeah? Well, that doesn’t matter. He’s crazy about you anyway.”
“Besides,” Christa said, “you’re perfect for each other.”
“We’re not perfect for each other,” Sharon argued. “We’re too different.”
“Yeah, but—” Emilee didn’t finish her thought. A knock on the back door cut her off. Her head jerked up and she shared an elated smile with Christa. “It’s him.”
Sharon’s heart immediately shot into overdrive and her hands, traitors that they were, began to tremble. She chided herself silently and stayed right where she was, even though every instinct she had urged her to at least move into the kitchen so she could see him.
Christa looked at her as if she expected her to do something. When Sharon didn’t move, she bolted to her feet and raced from the room with Emilee hot on her heels.
Sharon heard Emilee open the door and Gabe’s voice drifting through the house toward her. She forced aside the childish longing and curled up in the chair to keep herself from giving in to her urges.
To her dismay, she heard his footsteps moving through the house, growing steadily closer.
She closed her eyes and willed herself to be strong. But she knew what would happen. She’d see his face and hear his voice and she’d throw caution and intelligence and common sense right out the window.
He filled the doorway. She could see him from the corner of her eye. He took a step toward her, and the soft scent of roses filled the air. Before she could stop herself, she glanced toward him. He held a vase with a dozen roses in one hand, and something remarkably close to embarrassment colored his face.
The gesture touched her more than she wanted to admit.
He held the vase toward her uncertainly. “These are for you.”
“Thank you.” She took the vase and tried to keep her heart steady when their fingers brushed. Such relief washed over his face, she couldn’t help smiling. She turned away so he wouldn’t see it. “I’m surprised to see you.”
His eyes widened. “Why?”
“Because… Because I—”
He hunkered down in front of her and took her free hand in his. To her amazement, he looked as nervous and uncertain as she felt. “Things felt like they were moving too fast. Am I right?”
She managed a hesitant nod.
“Oh, Sharon.” He brushed her hand with his thumb, just the way he had the other night. Softly. Tenderly. “Then let’s slow everything down.”
Her heart skipped
a beat. Two. “Do you mean that?”
“Of course I mean it.” He leaned up and kissed her gently. “I guess it’s time I told you the truth.”
Her heart stilled completely.
“I realized it on Saturday, but I was afraid to tell you.”
Her hand trembled so violently, she thought she’d drop the vase.
“I love you, Sharon. I’m head over heels in love with you. And I want to make you happy. We can take this as slowly as you need to.”
She buried her face in the roses and inhaled their fragrance. “Thank you.”
“So? Are we friends again?”
She lifted her head and met his gaze. She knew the time had come to do what she feared most in the world. She had to let down the walls and open the gates to her heart. “Yes, of course,” she whispered. “I love you, too.”
SHARON SAT ON THE COUCH and watched Gabe with the girls. They were all on the floor, digging through the entertainment center, arguing good-naturedly about which movie they should watch. True to his word, he’d been moving slower over the past week, but it still felt too good to be true.
She forced that thought aside. She wouldn’t let anything ruin this evening.
As if he sensed her thinking about him, Gabe rolled onto his back and grinned up at her. “Help me out, here. It’s two against one.”
“Which movies are you voting on?” she asked.
“The Green Zone.” He held up the DVD and wriggled his eyebrows, then switched to the second one with a curl of his lip. “Or a chick flick.”
Outraged, Emilee tried to snatch the DVDs away. “You’re trying to influence her.”
Sharon laughed aloud. “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. I think I can figure out which movie he wants on my own.”
“So?” Christa leaned back on her hands. “Which do you vote for. And don’t vote for The Green Zone just because he’s your boyfriend.”
“You can’t honestly believe I’d do that,” Sharon protested.
“I think you should do it,” Gabe argued with a teasing scowl. “I think there should be one or two perks that go along with the job.”
