by Trina Bates
“What’s up, big guy?” I say chewing on the side of my cheek. I’m trying to stop smiling, but there’s too much for me to be happy about in this moment.
“How do you really feel about Torunn and me?” His question throws me off, but I can tell how serious this is to him when he starts wringing his hands together and turns away from me.
“Gor,” I say while I run my hand up his massive arm and rest it awkwardly on his much taller shoulder. “Never worry about what others think. If this makes you happy, do it. That's what really matters. Your own heart, and hers. I am ecstatic about it, if it really means that much to you. She has already wound herself around my heart. Being with you just makes it all that much better,” I tell him while still dredging along through the deepening snow, out further into the woods, away from everyone we care about.
“It will not hurt your… relationship with her? Make things, tense or strange between you?” I hear the dread seeping from his words. I pull us to a stop and angle myself in front of him so that he can see my eyes, to show him how serious I am.
I look up to him with serious eyes and tell him, “Gor, Torunn is a fierce, loyal, strong, and independent woman. I hope one day I can be as strong-willed as she is. I love her, and yes, I love you. There’s no way this will hurt my relationship with her, if anything, I only see it getting stronger from here. There might be a few moments where she divulges a story about a kiss that might make me cringe,” I look at him with a grimace and shake my head before going on again, “You're my brother, there’s just some things I don’t need or want to know.” I finish with a chuckle and pull him into gear once more and roll my eyes when I hear him laughing behind me.
“Thank you, little sister, your words mean the world to me. I can’t tell you how fortunate I feel to have found you. Before, I was lonely and felt my life was always going to be that. Then, you came into my world, literally, and changed it all. I now have you, a mate, I hope is for my entire life, and four strange brothers. I still don’t know about your friend Blue though. She needs help.” The last part is said sincerely, with no malice. I can tell he how badly he wants to see her get some help and I do too. I just don’t know how that will happen.
“Me too, Gor, me too.” I smile sadly at him and pat his shoulder once more before I pick up my pace. I might be a Death Demon, but I still get cold. I want to get this over with so we can go get my mother, and rid all of the Realms from our father.
Finally finding a semi-clear area that will work perfectly for this, I take Gor’s hands in mine and look him in the eyes.
“Tell me if anything hurts or feels wrong, okay?” I beg him with anguish in my heart. He's doing this for me, someone he knows nothing about. He can say different, but I know the truth.
“I promise you, little sister, that I will do no such thing. If there’s pain, it must be felt; if there is confusion or second-guessing, I will never go through with it. I will clear my mind of all things and let you do what needs to be done.” His hand leaves mine and raises to my cheek, he leans down and puts his forehead to my own and whispers, “Now, we will both, how is it you say? ‘Pussy out’ is that correct?” he asks, making me laugh so hard I drop his hands and lean my head back, roaring with my own laughter.
Gor’s face is full of confusion when I finally calm down enough to open my eyes and look at him, it makes me laugh more while I try and explain. “You have the gist of it big bro. It was just your questioning tone that had me going and the adorable look on your face,” I explain between breaths.
“I see, I can accept that, but a formidable warrior like myself is not ‘adorable’ as you say. I am fierce, mighty, and a handsome creature,” he says, crossing his arms and turning his head to the side, posturing like the true Adonis he is. I had to give him that, my brother really is one handsome man. Not to say Siv is ugly because she really is quite gorgeous, but we both look more like our father than anything. We both get most of our looks from him, for sure.
“Alright, alright, I get it. I concede. Let’s do this.” I pat his big shoulder once and pull his hands into mine once more.
“Close your eyes, clear your mind like you said you were going to do, and I will see if I can even do this.” I blow out a cleansing breath and I can hear him do the same. He squeezes my hands once, letting me know he’s ready to start, and that’s when things get weird.
Mira:
It takes a few moments before I can find his center, feel his heart and search his soul. He is pure, kind-hearted and filled with light. He has such a bright soul, I can see he’s a person that will always help others, always forgive and though he might say he’s a warrior, he’s really more of a lover than a true fighter. I can feel the dark inside of him, but it’s a darkness that’s filled with complete light at the same time. I zero in on that and push with all I have to feel the Death Demon inside of him. I grasp onto the tendril of the swirling darkness and pull it to me, draw it closer to my own darkness when I let mine out to touch his own. They dance together in a brilliant show, fighting, but comforting. Trying to connect and meld. I push more of my demon side into him trying to coax it to come out, to manifest. Suddenly, his own darkness intensifies, the tendrils shooting out of him everywhere.
I open my eyes and see it, the dark essence was literally flowing from him, the light and dark of his Death Demon half cocooning him. Gor’s eyes are still closed, but mine are round as saucers seeing this. I dropped my hands swiftly and step back letting his demon side meld into him. A mighty roar, one that would scare any lion or bear, shoots out of him. His back bows, his eyes jolt open, and he stares at the sky above with his mouth open while his arms shoot out from his sides and clench into large fists.
“Death is in me, Death is a part of me. Death is who I am,” he shouts and then falls to the ground on his knees, sweat dripping from his forehead as his hair hung in his face from the angle it’s at.
I want to go to him, hug him and cry into his shoulder. I feel terrible, I know I did this to him. He looks broken and I made him that way. My body is pushing me to rush to him, but my mind is telling me, he needs this time, he needs the pain, he needs to feel the new power coursing through him so it can acclimate to who and what he now is.
“Gor,” I whisper, my voice quivering and filled with sorrow.
He doesn’t say anything or move. It racks me, my heart racing ever faster and heart feels like it’s tearing in half. I can barely take the misery. I hate myself for even thinking about it. This isn’t about me, this is about him, and here I am, feeling sorry for myself.
I clamp my hand over my mouth and try to keep the whimpers at bay while he sits there, on his knees, letting fate take its course.
What seems like hours later, his breathing slows to normal, and his breaths come out even. He finally raises his head, and his gorgeous pink eyes are now changed. One stays the pink of his Fae side, the other, a deep blood red to match my own.
“I need to kill something, I need to use these powers and show my body what it can now do. Little one, you are not safe with me. You must leave,” he says it all so calm, I shake my head and close my eyes trying to get the haze in my mind to clear.
How is he taking this so well?
“Gor, you can’t hurt me, remember? I will stay until you are done, and there ain’t a damn thing you can do to stop me. How are you doing, how are you feeling?” The last part is said in a much lower voice, and I look to the ground with shame.
Gor’s steps in the snow alert me, and I look up to his kind eyes, eyes that are trained on me with such intense love, I smile and hold my arms out to him, waiting for the hug I know he’s about to give.
“I feel powerful, better, like pieces of me I didn’t know were missing are in place,” he tells me, wrapping me in his large frame, I hug him fiercely back and smile into his chest. “It’s strange, but not unwelcome. I must find something now, please, if you are going to stay, give me space.” I nod once to him and step away waiting for him to go ‘do his thing�
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He turns away and walks ahead of me, I watch his back with my head cocked to the side, waiting.
“I feel it,” he whispers to himself, “what is that, thing? It is so small, but has wings! HA! How can such tiny wings carry such a heft body?” He wonders aloud. I do my best to hold in my giggles while he stares at the raven that is out here, strangely in the woods. What’s more strange is that it is a bird. A bird is what I used my powers on the first time, when I used my powers, well, both actually. Once when I was in my ‘coma’ and then again, here in these same woods, when I tried to grasp my powers.
I don’t answer him, instead, I let him continue on and stand in silence letting him figure this out for himself. He inhales deeply and puts his hands out to his sides, palms up and exhales. “Die, and be reborn, feel the strength of my power but do not be afraid. You will live again, stronger, swifter and more powerful when you come back to us. Bring with you a friend to help me on my journey. Pass on little one, it will not hurt.” His voice, it's so very strong, filled with love and carries such power even I close my eyes and revel in it.
Amazing. He really is the light in the dark. The Demon of Death that will be forever fair. The purest form of darkness. My brother. I’m so proud of him, and happy that he is who he is.
How could I have ever doubted he would have become anything but, and how does he know he will be gifted a friend, an Agathion. I know I never told him about how Cynide came to be.
The raven falls from the branches, but before it hits the ground, Gor is there, catching it in his hands, and pulls in close to his chest. He turns around, strides to my side handing me the bird. I look up at him in confusion, and he smiles at me, then, turns from me again and drops to the ground a few feet away and starts to dig a hole in the snow, deep down into the frozen dirt beneath.
Without looking at me, he reaches his hand out to me, waiting for the bird. I place it in his hands gently and watch as he kisses it once, and then lays it in the ground, carefully filling in the hole he made, and covering the raven into its final resting place.
“I am ready,” he states, standing and smiling down at my befuddled face, taking my hand in his, he is the one to lead us back to the house. We don’t talk, but walk in a comfortable silence. I glance at his face and see he still wears his grin and I smile to myself, happy that he’s ‘okay’ with what he just endured moments ago.
I’m frightened for him and how he feels, but I know if I ask, he’s going to brush it completely off. I can tell he has a much better grasp on his new ‘half’ than I did. Maybe it’s because of who he is and that he also had many years to learn about his Fae side, or maybe it’s simply because he accepts the good with the bad and can differentiate between everything, in a way I still have trouble with. He knows this ‘world’, I don’t. Well, not fully.
Mira:
Walking into the back door of the cabin, Torunn throws her arms lovingly around Gor, and the rest of my guys surround us with questions in their gazes, but I don’t want to tell them. This is about Gor. If and when he is ready, it’s his choice to explain everything. I shake my head at them and smile at the ground, trying not to see the disappointment in their faces.
“Is everything ready? Does everyone have everything we need before we go?” I ask, trying to change the subject before anyone can question Gor and me about what happened; while we were trying to get his Death Demon side to manifest.
“We’re all set Mira, even have some extra clothes for you if you decide to change out of that armor,” Rhett says, smirking at me. I’m still uneasy about him, but I smile back, hoping and praying that he will be okay on our journey.
“Where’s Blue?” I wonder aloud, trying to stand on my tiptoes to see over the wall of my men and search for her. My eyes fall on Ebbin, and he grins brightly at me and shakes his head.
“She’s keeping her distance for now, but she’s right in the living room, I think. She might have gone into the kitchen, I’m not sure,” he says rushing over to me in two large steps, putting his hands around my waist and lifting me up into him.
“I’m so proud of you, love. You have done amazing. We all felt something coming from you while you were gone, lots of emotions, but something else that hit us with an intensity of power. We were all silenced and couldn’t move from where we were until it subsided. I don’t know what happened out there, but I know it was big. I’m so proud of you, Bugs,” he whispers into my hair and starts kissing down the side of my neck. I’m left speechless, and I shiver in his arms, not from the cold but the feel of his hot mouth on my skin, sending fire throughout me.
“Stop it, ya big lug,” I say, slapping his shoulder and kicking my feet that are dangling in the air so he’ll put me down. “We don’t have time for any of that.” I laugh and shake myself off, trying to get the throbbing between my legs to calm before I take a single step.
“Is everyone ready?!” I shout through the house while walking through my guys and into the kitchen. Blue is standing there, her arms clenched in front of her while she stares at the ground, still too nervous to look me in the eye. Smart, I think to myself, but hear a few snickers behind me and that of my Agathion, Cynide in my head. It takes everything in me not to smile, I turn my head and glare at my guys, making them quickly look at either the ground or the ceiling above.
“Get in a circle,” I say waving my hands in a gesture motion to get everyone to crowd around me. I take the hand that Ebbin holds out to me and take a deep calming breath before I start.
Taking Rhydian’s hand in my other, while everyone else touches some part of each other, and Cynide winds herself into my legs once more, I close my eyes and think of Hell.
Of its barren landscape with the soil white as snow and an iridescent glow. I remember the only thing beautiful in Hell; the sky. With the deep purple color instead of blue, swirling waves of black and yellow instead of clouds. It’s truly an amazing sight to behold.
I hear people drop to the ground before I feel the change of the gravel under my feet, whereas before it was hardwood floors.
Opening my eyes, my stomach drops at the realization we’re actually here. We’re in fucking Hell.
I wish I could have just taken us directly to my mother, but I couldn’t feel her like I did the others, she is still such an unknown to me, that I don’t feel any flutters when I try and think of her and even attempt to teleport to her.
I’m glad to be on my way to finding Siv, even if it is a very hard way, but being here? It honestly terrifies me.
Peering down, I see that Torunn and Gor are the ones to fall, Blue had been smart enough to keep a tight hold on Merrick’s arm. I glare at her hand which still hasn’t left Merrick’s, which makes him promptly drop her hand away when he sees the look on my face.
I don’t want to seem petty, but she’s already on thin ice with me. She’s smart to heed the warning I previously gave her.
-Cynide, where do we go from here?-
There’s no reply, much like the last time we were here together. That worries the hell out of me, no pun intended. It hadn’t even crossed my mind this might happen again.
“Cynide, can you hear me? When I talk into your mind I mean, I just tried,” I say to her aloud, hoping that she did hear me the first time.
Her lynx form walks away from me but turns back once she’s about five feet away, she shakes her head no at me and then shifts into her Pegasus form.
-Can you hear me now?-
There’s no answer from her at first, and I start to panic. We need her to guide us through this shit hole, and if she isn’t able to communicate with me, things are going to be a lot worse than we were thinking. Shit, we still don’t have a proper plan. We’re just coming here with guns loaded, shoot first, ask questions later. We know we have to make it to Lucifer's castle, but what we will come up against while we’re here or on our way is an unknown.
After a few moments of me chewing on my lips and no one has said anything, I start to feel a slight tickle
in the back of my mind. It’s like someone’s trying to get in, but there’s too much in the way.
-M..mi...Mira can you… hear me, please…-
It’s Cynide’s voice, but she sounds so far away. I try to grasp onto her call with my mind, but it’s slippery, and I can’t keep hold of it before I lose it again.
-Cynide, I can, try to push in just a bit harder, I almost had you, but I lost you.- I shut my eyes tightly and start shouting into my own mind hoping against all hope that she will hear me. If she hadn’t heard that, I told her the same thing aloud and watched as her large head nods in understanding. The relief is instant inside me, and I let out a breath bending over, taking in more air to try and calm my racing heart.
-I’m here.-
It’s still weak so I push harder, farther, and finally take hold and am able to pull her into my mind fully giving back access to her as well.
The relief is evident in her small voice. -That was very strange. This is how my kind have always communicated, and you and the others, I don’t know why this is happening nor have I ever heard or witnessed this before.-
-It’s alright, we got it all figured out now, are you alright here? Anything else feel off, or strange?-
Her head twists both ways glimpsing not only her surroundings but her body as well.
“I can hear her now, can any of you? I had to pull for her mind a bit, but we finally got it,” I say to everyone with slow breaths, still unable to get my heartbeat to slow.
Each of my men shakes their heads in dismay and turn their attention to Cynide, I’m sure trying to do what I had done with her.
-I can feel them, but I do not hear them much like with you, but their minds are too closed off for me to grasp like yours. You are mine, and I am yours, that is why I was able to connect back with you. And no, I don’t sense anything nor do I feel anything different or ominous.-
