by Mj Fields
“Honestly --I’m horrible,” she laughed. “This is the first time I have smiled since we got pulled over,” they both laughed.
“Well what have you been up to?”
She told him everything, even about Lucas and how he was acting and how it made her feel. Ben hugged her.
“Tessa, you’re grieving and so are they. I’m here when you need me. I hate to do this, but I have to go. I have a game tomorrow, and if I go now I’ll be home by 2,” Ben kissed her and hugged her.
“Please let me know when you get there and please Ben… drive safely.”
~
Cassidy dropped her off to get her Jeep, Toby’s Jeep. She started to get in.
“Tessa what are you doing?” Lucas asked scowling.
“Getting the Jeep.”
“Why?” he demanded.
“So I could get to Jade’s.”
“Becca is staying with her tonight,” Lucas told her.
“Well so am I,” she shot back at him.
“You’re sick and are going home.”
“You don’t get to tell me what to do Lucas,” he voice broke and she cleared her throat.
She got in the Jeep and went to start it; he reached in and pulled the keys out.
“Where have you been tonight?” he asked when he saw the makeup.
“Our play started tonight, that’s where I was. I was on stage and singing and pretending I was someone else for two hours. Now please give me back my keys.”
“Who are the flowers from Tessa?” Lucas asked scowling.
“Ben, he came to see the play tonight.”
He opened the door and took her by the arm and brought her to his vehicle and pushed her in the seat. He drove to her house and reached across her and opened the door.
“Go inside Tessa!”
“Fuck you Lucas,” she yelled.
She got out and started walking down the road. He pulled up beside her and got out and grabbed her arm and shoved her in the car.
“No, fuck you Tessa. You get in that fucking house and go to bed!”
She wiped the tears from her face, “You’re scaring me.”
“Good,” Lucas pulled in. “Now get the fuck out.”
She ran inside and locked the door. She text Jade and Phoebe and asked if everything was alright. They responded and told her they were good and hoped she felt better for tomorrow. The funeral, she was singing.
She lay down and cried herself to sleep.
She woke up, and Alex and Lucas were standing over her. She pulled the blanket over her head.
“Tessa are you feeling alright?” Alex asked.
Tessa took a deep breath and coughed, her throat was on fire. She stood up and shook her head yes. She ran down the stairs and warmed up water and mixed some salt into it. She gargled and spit. She turned around, and they were standing there. Both wore suits and ties and looked very handsome. She turned on the tea pot to heat some water. She grabbed a lemon out of the fridge and sliced a big chunk and put it in her mouth and bit down. She made a nasty face and jumped around a little. Alex laughed, and Lucas bit his cheek so he would not smile. She looked down and realized she was in underwear and a tank top. Her face turned red as she walked into the bathroom.
She showered and brushed her teeth. She washed her face and wrapped a towel around herself and ran up the stairs and dressed. She came down in the knee length grey dress and black cardigan. She dried her hair and went out to the kitchen. There was a cup of hot tea on the table.
“You ready?”
“Tessa are you feeling okay?” Alex asked.
“I’m fine.”
They all got into Lucas’s vehicle and drove to the church. Alex saw his parents and walked over to them. Tessa watched Lucas put on sunglasses and grab Visine out of the glove box.
“Tessa are you sure you’re going to be able to do this?” Lucas asked.
“I said I’m fine,” she got out.
She wanted to yell at him after his stunt yesterday. But knew now was not the time.
Within an hour, the church was packed with people. Many were kids from their old school. Tessa sat with Jade who was sitting quietly and holding her hand.
“You alright Jade? Do you need anything?”
“I need this nightmare to be over. I need him to wake up,” Jade said, and a tear fell.
Lucas sat on the other side of Jade and didn’t move. His eyes were fixed on the box that his friend lay in. Several people came up to him and patted his shoulder and he just sat there. Frozen.
The service was more of a celebration of Tommy. The minister talked about him and had known him for six years. Tessa sang perfectly the song his mother had chosen, Blessings, one of her favorites. At the end, she led Amazing Grace.
They rode with Lucas to the cemetery, and he didn’t say a word. When they concluded, everyone was to go back to the church. A meal was prepared by Tommy’s mother’s church group.
Audrianna came up to Tessa and hugged her, “You have an amazing voice Tessa.”
“Thank you.”
“How are you all holding up?”
“I’m worried about Lucas,” tears formed in her eyes.
Audri hugged her, and she hugged her back. “We are too Tessa, and we know what you have been through, and he feels…”
“Audri you remember Mrs. Ross?” Lucas asked standing with Tessa’s mother.
“Of course I do,” she said. “How are you doing?”
They chatted, and Lucas took Tessa’s hand and walked her down the hall.
“Your mother is going to take you to the doctors,” Lucas said firmly.
“No, Lucas I’m staying here,” she said softly. “I need to be here for you and Jade.”
“Jade is fine and I don’t need you. You’re leaving with your mother.”
She looked at him for a long time, “I’m so sorry you feel that way, I’m so sorry you hate me.”
Tessa walked away and went and sat with Jade. He watched as her mother walked up to Tessa and then they walked out. He could breathe without her in the room.
~
“Mom I’m fine,” she said as they walked to the car.
“Okay let’s just go see,” Maggie saw that see was upset and exhausted. She was glad that Lucas had told her about Tessa not feeling well.
They went to the doctor, and Tessa had pneumonia. She was put on an antibiotic and given a prescription for a nebulizer. She was told she needed to rest. When they got to the car Tessa looked at her mother.
“I have the play tonight and tomorrow night, I’m not missing it.”
“Promise me you’ll rest and do the treatments, and I’ll not make you stay home,” Maggie said knowing Tessa wouldn’t stay home even if she told her she had to.
Maggie went into the pharmacy to pick up the necessities, and her phone chimed.
-Mrs. Ross how is Tessa?...Lucas.
Seriously? He was texting her Mom! She thought.
-What does it matter to you?
-I apologize; I hope she is okay...Lucas.
-No you don’t, you just enjoy treating me like shit
-Tessa?...Lucas
- You don’t need me, so I would appreciate you butting out of my business…Tessa
-Fine…Lucas
-Good! I’m so sorry about Tommy Lucas, I really am. I know how much you loved him…Tessa
~
Maggie pulled into the farm, and they went inside. Tessa did a treatment and took her medicine. She was tired and angry. She went upstairs and went to sleep. Her alarm went off, and she got up and got ready.
Her family was in the audience. Again the cast did a great job. After the play, she went home and made broth and was doing her treatment when Alex and the boys walked in.
“You’re fine huh?” Lucas snapped as he walked by.
She gave him a dirty look.
Jade, Phoebe, and Becca pulled in. Phoebe was driving the Jeep. They jumped out and walked in the house.
“Hey Tessa, w
e brought back the Jeep,” Phoebe said as she walked in. “Wow what’s up with you?”
"I have pneumonia," she said talking with the mouth piece in.
“Yep… sounds like you’re fine,” Lucas snapped as he walked past her and went out with Alex and Ryan to the hot tub.
“Can you go out with us?” Jade asked.
She pointed at the nebulizer and held up a finger, she would be out in a minute.
She finished and cleaned up the machine. She went upstairs and found a bathing suit that she had not worn in front of him before, it was much smaller than most of hers. She put it on and smiled. Maybe he’ll be nice to me now. She wrapped a towel around herself and walked out. She took the towel off and laid it over the chair; she bent over and took off her shoes.
She sat next to Jade, “Sorry I had to leave so early today.”
“Oh Tessa you were sick. I understand.”
“I was fine,” she glared at Lucas.
He rolled his eyes at her. They all were very quiet.
“So I’m going to be staying here for the week Tessa. My Dad has to go out of town, won’t that be fun?” Jade smiled.
“Really?” Tessa asked Jade shook her head, “Great!”
“Tomorrow night I want to go to your play,” Jade looked around, “We should all go.”
“Why are you still doing the play if you’re sick?” Lucas said annoyed.
She looked at him, “Because I can.”
“Does your mother know?” Lucas growled.
“I don’t know maybe you should text her,” Tessa shot back at him.
“Mom knows not to argue with her Lucas, remember Tessa the Terrible?” Alex asked laughing.
Tessa looked at Alex and smirked, “I don’t think he has met her yet, he may soon.”
"No he doesn't want to," Jade laughed.
“I’m pretty sure I already have,” Lucas snapped.
Her phone rang, she jumped up and got it. It was Ben.
“Hey Ben how was your game?...It went alright. Thanks again for coming last night…. I’m glad….okay …Well thank you…I know…well if I don’t see you for awhile I know I will in November. ..I’ll miss your face Ben.” she forced a laugh, “Have a great time. Thank you so much for everything… Absolutely!” she hung up and turned around, everyone was looking at her.
Tessa got back in.
“Everything okay Tessa?” Jade asked.
“Yep,” she smiled.
“I thought things were going well.”
“We’ve always been buds; we don’t want to ruin it.”
“But Tessa you,” Jade remembered Lucas was there. “Okay.”
Tessa stayed in for a few minutes and got out. She went in and showered off and threw on shorts and a tank top. She turned on the TV and grabbed the computer. She logged on Facebook. She was tagged in a video by Ben, check out our new song. He was singing with his band and looked so damn cute. It was Shimmer by the band Fuel. She watched it four times. She replied, Great Song Ben, I still miss your face!!!
What the hell is wrong with you she asked herself?
She cried and set the laptop down, and finally fell asleep, confused, sad, and not feeling well.
They all walked in, and she lie curled up in a ball sleeping. Jade and Phoebe picked up the computer and looked at it and played the video.
“He is so damn cute,” Jade said, “and he adores her Phoebe, what is she doing?”
Phoebe smiled, “Grieving and he is letting her. You never know what will happen.”
~
Tessa woke in the morning and looked at the clock. It was eleven, she jumped up and went into the bathroom and brushed her teeth. She walked out and grabbed her medicine and nebulizer. She took her temperature, 98.6. She smiled.
She texted Jade
-where are you?
-at Tommy’s with his Mom, I think I will be staying tonight here tonight are you okay with that?…J
-of course Jade if that’s where you need to be that’s where you should be…Tessa
Alright then how do I occupy myself tonight? She smiled and sent a text to Cassidy.
-feeling better, need to hang out with you all tonight, party after at the camp?...Tessa
-sounds awesome…Cassidy
Her first scene she walked onstage and eventually she saw the first row; Jade, Phoebe, Becca, Ryan, Alex, and Lucas. Why was he here? She sang Don’t Cry For Me Argentina and saw Jade tearing up. She looked at Lucas, and he was staring at her, she closed her eyes and made her way to center stage where she closed her eyes again and sang. At the end of the song, a tear ran down her cheek.
“That was amazing Tessa,” the director hugged her.
Tessa walked in the dressing room, and the cast all hugged and cheered. That was it, the last performance. She gave them all directions and they would meet there in an hour. She walked out and her friends all stood waiting in the hall.
“Tessa, you looked and sounded beautiful,” Jade hugged her.
“Oh it was nothing,” she laughed.
It absolutely was, all the stuff she had gone through since the beginning, it was exhausting.
They all hugged her and congratulated her, except Lucas.
“Good job, these are from all of us,” he handed her flowers, yellow roses and white daisies.
“Thanks they…” Lucas turned and walked away. “He hates me,” she said and immediately realized she had said it out loud.
Jade laughed, “No he doesn’t silly, he wants you to be happy.”
“Oh I see that by his actions over the past oh let’s see since I met him,” Tessa laughed.
Jade laughed as if she knew more. “I’ll see you at church in the morning, right?”
“I’m not sure I’m going, but I really want to hang out tomorrow, and since we’ll be roomies… I think we can figure it out,” Tessa rubbed Jade’s belly and whispered, “Love you.”
Tessa went to camp and was ready to get lost. Cassidy was staying sober to drive. Tessa however did not…not at all; she was drinking wine and smoking. They laughed and talked as they played drinking games that Tessa had never even heard of.
They had polished off the drinks and most of the weed and were cleaning up when her phone rang. She looked at the ID and it was him.
Chapter 10
“Hello,” she said.
There was no one on the other end. Tessa tried calling him back, and no one answered. She was started to get worried. She texted him,
-Is everything okay?…Tessa
-No, sorry I shouldn’t have called, never mind…Lucas
-where are you?...Tessa
-Home I’m fine leave it alone…Lucas
Everyone was starting to leave camp.
“Cassidy can you give me a ride?” she asked.
Cassidy dropped Tessa off at Lucas’s and told her to call if she needed a ride home.
Lucas’s mom’s car wasn’t there. Lucas’s bedroom light was on, very dim but on. Tessa tried the door, it was open. She walked in and went upstairs. She knocked on the door, no one answered. She opened it hoping she wouldn’t see him in bed with anyone. He looked at her.
“What are you doing here Tessa?” he said softly as he looked at her, “You’re loaded, how the hell did you get here?”
“I hitchhiked. You should talk your room smells like a freaking bong,” Tessa giggled. “Where’s your Mom?”
“Not here,” he said. “Tessa I’m calling Alex to come get you.”
She laughed “I don’t think so, I’ll call Cassidy after you tell me why you called me.”
“Did you fuck Ben?”
“Not really your business, but no,” she said, “Did you sleep with that girl from the club?”
“Not your business but no,” Lucas said mocking her.
She scowled at him. “How about the girl from lunch the other day?”
“No Tessa,” he said, “You need to leave.”
“Why do you hate me?”
“Because I have to
.”
“Why can’t we be friends?”
“Tessa could you really see us as friends?” he asked and laughed at her.
“Why did you take Sadi’s side over mine when she pulled out my hair Lucas?” she said loudly.
“Because I needed you to leave.”
“Why did you try to get me into bed with those two girls Lucas?” she yelled.
“Because I knew you’d leave.”
“Did you sleep with them?”
He looked at her, “No… they left right after you did.”
“Why did you make me come home the night of the calling hours and throw me into your car and talk to me like I was a piece of dirt?” she asked, “And call my Mom yesterday?”
“Because you were sick and needed help and you don’t fucking listen to me like now, you need to go home Tessa!”
“Answer a couple more questions Lucas and then I will,” she screamed back at him.
“I don’t want to, and you’re acting like one of the twelve right now so get the fuck out of my house.”
She stood there and looked at him; she couldn’t hide the shock and disappointment in her eyes.
“Right there Tessa that look, I can’t stand it, you’re disappointment and pity drives me right over the fucking edge,” Lucas yelled at her and stood up.
“I don’t pity you Lucas!”
“Oh that’s right I’m an embarrassment, like you told your friend Cassidy! Yeah that was fucking sweet one of my favorite memories of our time together,” Lucas grabbed her arm. “You are leaving.”
She pulled away from him and looked scared.
“I didn’t want people to know about Toby or about what you had gone through Lucas, I didn’t want you or I to feel like we were being judged by people you asshole--- and don’t fucking grab me it hurts.”
He released her arm and his eyes widened. “Damn it Tessa, I’ve hurt you and you’ve fucked me up too, I’m begging you please leave.” he sat on his bed.
Tessa walked into the bathroom to gain distance. She texted Cassidy and walked back out and sat down on the foot of the bed.
“Get the fuck off my bed Tessa,” his voice warning her.
“I texted Cassidy she will be here soon, okay?” Tessa snapped.
“Perfect, the sooner you’re out of here the better,” Lucas snapped back.
“I wish, I wish you didn’t hate me,” she walked out and texted Cassidy as she sat in his driveway and cried. He watched out the window as she got in the car.
