by Sara Wood
He stayed a while and then, suddenly needing human comfort, he went up to where Helen slept, stripped to his underwear and pulled his bed close so that he could put his arm around her. She stirred and smiled, snuggling closer.
And immediately his mind was filled with Celine. What he would do, what he’d say…hell, he could hardly wait.
He thought of how he’d walked out of the bathroom and seen her standing so boldly in that blue towel of Helen’s and he couldn’t stop himself from groaning. All his frustration would be solved once he’d seen her. It was a matter of patience. But he’d count the days, dear heaven, he’d count the minutes and seconds, too.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
AFTER three weeks, the twins—now lovingly named Kate and Mark—were transferred to Brighton and it was with mutual relief that Helen and Dan were able to return to live at Deep Dene. Since she couldn’t drive for several weeks because of the Caesarean, he ferried her back and forth to the hospital and they spent all their waking time at the baby unit.
Helen’s parents came, remaining—for the moment—blissfully unaware of the impending divorce. Helen felt she couldn’t handle their distress. They adored Dan.
‘Isn’t he wonderful?’ her mother marvelled, watching Dan singing to his son. ‘No silly inhibitions about not being macho. Mind you, Dan could never look less than one hundred per cent masculine if he was wearing fluffy pink bedroom slippers, a tutu and an Alice band.’
Her father laughed and kissed his wife with affection. ‘You’re a lucky woman, Helen. You’ll need his help and it looks as if he’s more than willing to pull his weight. Look how he handles my grandson! And I swear little Mark turns to the sound of Dan’s voice.’
‘Yes,’ she said shakily. ‘He is amazing with them.’
‘And you’ve settled well in your lovely home, and, judging by all the cards here, you’ve made lots of friends.’
‘I have.’
The warmth of the villagers had been touching. They had taken her to their hearts with all their messages of goodwill. Dan, too, of course, though he’d been around less. But the shocked reaction of the people from the village would be another hurdle she’d have to face, when they learnt that she and Dan were to part.
Her mother sighed contentedly. ‘We can go home knowing you’re happy,’ she said, giving Helen a fond kiss. ‘You don’t know how much that means to us, to see for ourselves that our daughter has no worries. Other than how to learn juggling so she can handle both babies at once,’ she added with a grin.
‘Oh, Mum!’ she whispered, her eyes bright with tears. And she leaned over to grasp her mother’s hand.
Her parents had been married for thirty-five years. She would have managed less than three.
Helen could feel her baby daughter’s tiny little bottom nestling into the palm of her hand. And she knew that she wasn’t giving Kate and Mark everything she wanted to.
Oh, with Dan’s devotion they wouldn’t lose out, but it wasn’t what she’d visualised, it wasn’t what she had planned for her children—parents who were polite and distant.
It shamed her that part of her was glad when her mother and father flew back to California. Keeping up the appearances of a normal relationship with Dan had been very difficult. He’d seemed determined to put his arm around her and kiss her more than was necessary, in an effort to convince her parents that nothing was wrong.
But she couldn’t fault him where the babies were concerned. He was utterly devoted to them. It was he who, urged on by Maggie, first ventured to hold one in his big hands and even Maggie had wiped away a surreptitious tear to see the look on his face. Helen had just blubbed.
It was Dan, too, who had helped her to gain confidence in handling the babies until she’d become as capable as he was.
Sitting with Dan, she spent hours talking and singing and gently stroking the twins and they did seem to know their voices, as Maggie had promised they would, turning their funny little faces in the right direction. It was like winning the pools.
And with every day she adored them more, the bond between her and the twins strengthening till she realised what it truly was to give birth to children and to have your whole mind and body and emotions devoted to their welfare.
Each day they learnt something new about Kate and Mark. Gradually she and Dan became expert at interpreting the babies’ body language: smooth and relaxed movements meaning they were fine, and tension or limpness meaning they weren’t. Mark had been poorly for a while but was now putting on weight and Helen felt able to relax her vigilance at last, especially as the babies were in open incubators and could be properly cuddled.
She had to admit that Dan had been terrific. An absolute rock. In the early days in Portsmouth, apart from a quick shopping trip to get pyjamas and clean clothes and a couple of nighties for her, he hadn’t left her side. Each night, especially when she’d been upset by little Mark’s sudden poor health, he had fussed over her and been so attentive that she’d felt bemused and touched by his unselfishness.
He must have been worried, too, but he’d brushed aside her concern for him and concentrated on making sure she’d been reassured. A man in a million, she thought sadly, wishing he were her man in her million.
He’d had absolutely no time to himself and she worried about his loss of weight, his haggard looks and thin face, which only softened when he was with the babies.
His devotion was extraordinary and she knew she could trust him totally with the twins. As promised, he’d proved to be totally committed to them.
Why couldn’t he give her the same amount of love and devotion? They were together all the time—and yet emotionally they were apart. With all her heart she wanted them to be reconciled.
‘You look awful,’ she commented to Dan, who was opening his shirt so that Kate—tubes and all—could be snuggled against his chest.
‘Thanks,’ he said drily. ‘Come on, Kate. Snuggle up, sweetheart.’
With loving care, he closed his shirt around little Kate, giving her what Maggie called a ‘kangaroo cuddle’, and the baby visibly relaxed at the familiar skin-to-skin contact.
‘You ought to take a break,’ Helen said, engrossed in kangaroo cuddling herself. She looked down at her precious son who slept as if he hadn’t a care in the world. Her heart ached with love for him. For them all. ‘Dan, you must be worried about your business. You’ve been here all the hours of daylight and beyond. I won’t think badly of you if you take time to catch up on work.’
‘I couldn’t!’ he declared, shocked. ‘It’s not important, Helen. I learnt that when we went to Kirsty and Tom’s. The important thing is that I—we—spend time with them now they need us. The business is doing well without me. I have someone I can trust at the helm. New contracts have come in and we’re set for life.’
‘But it’s your…’ She smiled wryly. ‘It’s your baby. You started it up. You made it what it was. Don’t you miss it?’
‘I haven’t given it a thought, to be honest. My work is not as important as this. You need a chauffeur and you also need another pair of hands. That’s my role for the time being.’
Helen kissed the top of Mark’s small head. He was right. He needed time to bond with the children. She watched him shaking a rattle gently, in an attempt to gain Kate’s attention.
‘Hello, Kate!’ he cooed. ‘Look at Daddy!’
She couldn’t bear it and took a deep breath, her nerves frayed. She remembered what he’d said about putting your trust in someone if they had a track record of reliability.
She thought of Dan’s devotion to the babies, his tenderness and the huge well of love that he was offering to his children. And wanted part of that love.
His behaviour had opened her eyes again. They’d had a falling-out and now it was time to heal the breach before it was too late.
Nervously she gathered up all her courage and went for it.
‘I—I’d rather you had another role,’ she said huskily. Her smoke-dark eyes met his start
led gaze. Tenderly she stroked Mark’s cheek, her eyes soft with passion. ‘We have so much in common. All those years we spent together… Couldn’t we…? Oh, Dan, if you only said you were sorry for betraying me with Celine, I—’
‘I can’t,’ he said tersely, his face grim.
Helen stared in dismay. He was lifting Kate out, putting her back in the heated cot. Doing up his shirt. She felt a terrible hollow sensation in the pit of her stomach.
‘Why not?’ she breathed. ‘If a simple apology would mean that we could be together properly—’
‘No, Helen!’
Dear heaven, she thought. He looks terrible. Angry and wounded.
‘I want you back!’ she mumbled plaintively.
His jaw quivered. ‘Then you must trust me totally. Believe in me.’
The wobbling of her mouth almost stopped her from answering.
‘No woman on earth would witness that scene with Celine and believe what you said!’ she declared miserably.
Dan eyed her with such sadness that she felt her heart would break.
‘I’ll have the car outside in two hours,’ he said in a remote tone. And walked out.
Helen spent the time in deep thought. Finally she came to the conclusion that her wounded pride was getting in the way. She and Dan could make a go of their marriage, she knew it. That meant…that she must trust him.
It was as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. They’d start again, wiser, more loving than before.
All through the drive home, she kept smiling secretly to herself, knowing what she’d do. Dan disappeared into his study as usual, and she went straight upstairs to put on something that flattered her slowly returning figure and then headed for the woodshed.
Axe in hand, she sauntered into the hall and lifted the axe with great care not to strain her ‘nice little bikini cut’—though by now she felt as fit as a fiddle. And brought the blade crashing down against the door of Dan’s flat.
There was a yell from inside and she quickly dealt it another blow.
‘Helen!’ he bellowed. ‘Stop! You’ll hurt yourself!’
She waited and the door was cautiously opened. Her huge eyes regarded him solemnly.
‘If you feel like that about me,’ he said jerkily, ‘then get someone else to beat me up. Don’t hurt yourself, please, Helen.’
Delighted that he was thinking of her, she smiled and lowered the axe. ‘I was only breaking the door down,’ she said, all innocence.
‘I’d gathered that,’ he said with a grunt.
‘Ask me why.’
He gave an exasperated sigh and humoured her. ‘Why?’
‘Because I don’t want you to live in a flat. I don’t want you and me to be living separately when the twins come home. I want us to be properly together; married, normal, parents.’
‘We’ve tried that—’
‘Listen to me, Dan,’ she said softly, coming closer. He gave his collar a very satisfyingly nervous tweak. ‘I’ve watched you with Kate and Mark. I could trust you with them totally. And I reckon that you wouldn’t do anything that might jeopardise their future.’
‘No. Of course I wouldn’t—’
‘So I feel that I can trust you, too. I don’t care about Celine any more. It doesn’t matter to me either way what happened. You are everything I’ve always wanted and I don’t intend to let you become estranged from me any longer. Come back to me, Dan. No questions, no recriminations, just you and me and our children. I love you. I’ve always loved you. I want you to trust me.’
‘You believe me?’
‘I trust you.’
Starved of affection, she walked straight into his waiting arms. He gave a huge sigh and kissed her. Hard. They went into the sitting room and sat together, just content to be in one another’s embrace.
Now she was happy. Her heart was full. And that night they curled up body to body, sleeping more deeply than either of them had done so for weeks.
Christmas was wonderful. New Year, too. Helen had never known such happiness could exist. By the time the twins were three months old—and their ‘proper’ birth date of late January was reached—they had gained sufficient weight to be released from hospital. They were coming home and all the worries, all the tiring journeys to and from the hospital were over.
‘I’m stopping for supplies. Will you be OK for a while, or do you want to come round the supermarket with me?’ Dan asked on the way back, their precious cargo safely secured in two navy and white striped car seats.
Helen turned her head and took her thousandth smug glance at the sleeping babies. They were adorable. Kate had Dan’s thick black hair and Mark boasted Dan’s fabulous black lashes. Their little faces had filled out and Dan claimed that Kate was going to have her mother’s classically beautiful features and long legs. They were the most beautiful babies she’d ever seen. Of course. She smiled blissfully and turned back to Dan.
‘We did the shopping yesterday. That’s enough, surely? Can’t we go straight home?’ she asked wistfully.
‘I’d love to. But I’m worried about the level of the river,’ Dan replied. ‘It’s rained so much over this year that the ground is saturated and there are severe flood warnings on our river. The last thing we want is to be stranded and run out of nappies. I’d like to get in an extra store of food, in case there’s trouble. Just as a precaution.’
‘You’re right. We’ll be fine in the car. I’ll listen to the radio. You’ll be able to scoot around faster without us in tow. We’d be sure to draw a crowd!’
Dan laughed and squeezed Helen’s hand. ‘I know! I think we’ll have to build in cooing time for any trips out. And I suppose we ought to be careful about crowds. The babies still need protection. They’re very tiny still.’
‘I love you, Dan,’ she said softly, stroking his arm. And melted at his warm answering smile.
He’d been right about the flood levels. All around Lewes the fields had been turned into lakes. The radio had forecast more storms and put out warnings to people in flood plains. When they set off again from the supermarket, the rain began to lash the car and she felt glad of Dan’s foresight in stocking up.
A while later she was frowning at the sight of the lane ahead into the village, which had water rushing across it from a higher field to a lower.
‘It wasn’t like this when we left early this morning,’ she worried. ‘Oh, Dan! Can we make it?’
‘Of course,’ he soothed. ‘It’s not too deep.’
‘What if we’re at home and we’re cut off and the twins are ill?’ she asked, holding her breath as the four-wheel drive approached the churning water.
‘If I thought we were risking their health,’ Dan replied, carefully negotiating the flood, ‘I’d turn right back and check into a hotel in Brighton, near the hospital. But remember, the doctor is on the same ridge as us and we can reach him across the top fields if necessary.’
‘Is he?’
‘He and I were patting ourselves on the back for vowing never to live below the hundred-foot contour line. There. We’re through. OK?’
‘You’re wonderful, Dan!’ she declared in relief. ‘We’re so lucky to have you.’
‘That’s true,’ he acknowledged, and received a light punch in the arm for his pains. ‘Mobile’s ringing, bully. Can you answer it?’
‘Everything all right?’ came the doctor’s voice.
‘Wonderful!’ she sighed.
‘Nearly home, I hope?’ he enquired.
‘Five minutes to go—’ She frowned. The phone had gone dead. ‘It was Dr Taylor, seeing if we were OK,’ she informed Dan. ‘I think he must have been called away.’
‘Good of him to ring. He’s been great.’
‘I’m so excited!’ she cried as they neared their house. There was the rutted lane, the hedge, the high flint wall…and Deep Dene. ‘Good grief!’ she exclaimed. ‘What’s going on?’ Her eyes twinkled and she grinned. ‘Oh, Dan! It’s a welcoming party! Look at the banner!’
> Welcome home, Kate and Mark. Her eyes blurred with tears. Home. Where she and Dan and the babies would carve a safe and secure future. Where they would be happy, loved and loving. Where Dan could at last know the joys of a caring, tender family.
‘Don’t cry, sweetheart,’ Dan said fondly, passing her his handkerchief. ‘They’ll think I’ve been shouting at you. Look. There must be about fifteen people there. Have you that many friends who are prepared to stand in the rain for you?’ he asked in amusement.
‘I s-suppose s-so,’ she sniffed, waving madly at everyone. They hoisted aloft their colourful umbrellas and raised a soggy cheer. ‘Poor things! We must get them all inside! They’ll catch their deaths standing in the rain like this!’ she exclaimed in horror. ‘How long have they been waiting, for heaven’s sake?’
‘Well, the doc rang to see where we were, remember? So I imagine they timed it from then. Still, it’s incredibly kind of them to turn out on such a foul day. Here we are. Bale out. I’ll see to the babies, you get inside and put the kettle on.’
Helen found herself beneath the shelter of several umbrellas, carried forwards on a wave of love and smiling faces. Turning back as she opened the front door, she saw willing hands helping Dan with the twins and beginning to unload the huge store of groceries.
‘Welcome home,’ enthused Dr Taylor, hugging her. ‘You look absolutely radiant.’
And she was lost in hugs, whirled from one to another until she ended up locked in Dan’s arms.
‘Hello, darling,’ he said, a rapturous smile lighting his eyes with love. And, oblivious to the crowd around them, he kissed her tenderly, to a chorus of ‘ah-h-h’s.’
Blushing, Helen organised the hanging-up of wet coats and the shedding of boots. The twins slept on, oblivious to the careful peeks and admiring sighs.
‘I’m bursting with happiness,’ she said to Dan, helping him to open bottles of champagne.
‘Not over my clean floor, you won’t,’ he warned.
She giggled. He’d spent ages cleaning the house for her while she’d lain like Lady Muck on the sofa, sipping tea and toast before they’d gone off to collect the babies.
