by Kim Baldwin
Suddenly her life felt like it didn’t fit quite right, like a pair of shoes she’d outgrown. It wasn’t nearly as comfortable as it was when she’d arrived in Alaska. And she wondered whether it was the vastness of the landscape itself that was responsible for her discontent, or a certain dark-haired guide.
The hot spring managed to act as one dandy natural sleeping pill, with all the clients retiring early to their tents. When the last pair had finished their turn and returned to the campsite, only Chaz remained by the fire.
“I’m going to turn in, too,” Megan told Sally, detouring toward her tent as soon as she spotted Chaz. “Good night.”
“Good night,” Sally replied. “Sleep well.”
Megan kept trying to dispel the mental image of Chaz and Elise kissing as she readied for bed and snuggled into her sleeping bag. It wasn’t easy with Chaz’s things in the tent beside her.
Giving in to an impulse, she reached for Chaz’s small camping pillow and pressed it against her face, inhaling the faint smell of wood smoke from the fire and a subtle trace of something else—shampoo, probably, since Chaz didn’t seem the perfume type. It was earthy, like the woman herself, and it took her back to the night before, when Chaz had held her in her arms.
It does no good to think about things that cannot be, she reminded herself, setting the pillow reluctantly back at the head of Chaz’s sleeping bag. But as soon as she relaxed and closed her eyes, she remembered the way it felt to be enfolded against the long length of Chaz’s body, and despite her better judgment, she wished for it to happen again.
*
Chaz noted with disappointment that Megan went directly to their tent from the hot spring. She had rather hoped to get another opportunity to talk to her, to ask her why she’d looked so troubled and sad. But Megan was apparently either too tired, or determined to act as though nothing was wrong.
“What a wonderful find that hot spring was.” Sally sank into a camp chair beside Chaz. She had changed into warm clothes and hung her towel and swimsuit on a line they’d strung between two trees. “Why didn’t you tell me about it?”
“Because if I had, I’m sure the clients and I would have found all sorts of hidden surprises in there, knowing you. Fake water moccasins or something.”
Sally had to chuckle. “Oh, it’s all in fun. You’re such a wet blanket, sometimes, Chaz. You need to lighten up.”
“Someone has to be the adult.”
“Speaking of lightening up…What’s wrong with Megan? She was acting kind of funny, wasn’t she? Not that she hasn’t been kind of hot and cold since we got here.”
“I noticed that, too,” Chaz said. “She seemed to be okay here at the fire. Did something happen after I left? Somebody say something to her?”
“No. She was kind of quiet after you and Elise left, but she seemed fine. You know what was kind of odd? We didn’t walk to the hot spring together—she left before I did and was just kind of hanging out in the trees between here and there when I found her. She said she was bird-watching, but come to think of it, that’s really when she first seemed kind of…I don’t know, distracted, I guess. Maybe upset, too, though she was hiding it well. I asked her about it while we were soaking, but she said she was just preoccupied.”
The wheels began to spin in Chaz’s mind. “Where exactly was she when you found her?”
“Oh, not far at all from the hot spring. A couple dozen yards into the trees, probably. I was kind of surprised to find her there.”
“Oh, shit.” She hadn’t meant to say it out loud. She saw us kissing, didn’t she? And she was upset about it. Why would she be upset?
“What?” Sally asked. “What is it?”
“Oh, nothing.”
“C’mon, you can’t do that. Spill. Do you know why she was acting funny?”
Chaz sighed. I just can’t catch a break. Why did she have to see that? “Maybe she saw Elise and me kissing.”
“What? You want to repeat that? I’ve got to be hearing things.”
“You heard me. Maybe she saw Elise and me kissing. And no, I didn’t kiss her, she kissed me. It only lasted a second. Well, maybe a few seconds. I was kind of in shock when she did it. But I set her straight, and it won’t happen again.”
“I thought Megan was the one you were interested in.”
“She is,” Chaz said, before she realized what she was admitting. “I mean, she is the one I’m attracted to, not Elise, but nothing is going to happen with either of them.”
“So Megan was ticked off that you were kissing Elise,” Sally recapped. “That’s an interesting development. Sure proof that she’s interested in you, or she wouldn’t be jealous.”
“What makes you think she’s jealous?” Could she be? Or is that just wishful thinking? There are certainly other possibilities. “Maybe she was embarrassed that she nearly walked in on something she thought was a private moment.”
“Yeah, right,” Sally guffawed. “You keep telling yourself that. I think this is proof she’s as hot for you as you are for her, not that I didn’t suspect that already.”
“Would you stop with this matchmaking stuff?” Chaz replied, exasperated. “It’s giving me a headache.”
“No, your headache is from your conscience telling you that maybe you shouldn’t be turning away from an opportunity like this,” Sally said. “C’mon, Chaz. You like Megan and she likes you. I think you’ll regret it if you don’t see where this might lead.”
“Enough.”
“Oh, all right.” Sally relented. “For now.” She got to her feet. “Coming to bed?”
“Later,” Chaz said. “Good night.”
“Don’t sit up too late. You really don’t have to—I think she’ll be asleep soon, anyway.”
Just to be sure, Chaz stayed up another hour, watching the light change as the midnight sun rolled along the horizon. Was Megan really jealous? Or was she ticked off? Pat’s words rang again in her ears. Maybe Megan and Elise did have a bet going. Maybe they had wagered on who would kiss her first, and Megan had lost. Either way, it was doing her no good to worry and obsess about it, so she extinguished the fire and returned to the tent.
Despite the dim light, she could see that Megan was fast asleep. She looked so adorable, lying on her side in a half-fetal position, that Chaz couldn’t help but take advantage of the chance to spend a few moments watching her. Her shoulder-length brown hair was tousled, and a strand near her face moved with each gentle exhalation. It was all Chaz could do not to reach down and smooth it away, caress the cheek it rested against. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d wanted to touch someone quite so much.
Quietly, she got into her own bag and ignored an overwhelming urge to cuddle closer, to spoon their bodies together as they had the night before.
Chapter Eleven
The next morning Megan awoke alone again, with no memory of Chaz having been in the tent at all. But obviously she had been, because her sleeping bag was unzipped, and her things had been moved around.
She reached for Chaz’s pillow almost without realizing she was doing so, and this time when she brought it to her face, that same scent was stronger, like Chaz had been lying on it only moments before. An ache passed through her as she set it back down. Why does it matter so much? she asked herself, but she didn’t allow herself to think about it too closely or too long. Get over it. Get up and get dressed and enjoy the rest of your time in Alaska.
She slithered out of her mummy sleeping bag like a snake shedding its skin and reached for a new set of clothes.
“Knock, knock,” Sally’s voice hailed her from outside the tent. “Megan, you awake?”
“Yes,” she responded. “Getting dressed. I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Do you mind if I have a word with you? It’s kind of personal.”
Megan went to the door flap, unzipped it, and stuck her head outside. “Sure. What’s up?”
Sally came over and stooped until they were roughly at eye level. “Well, I, uh�
�I talked to Chaz last night.” Megan’s ears perked up. “Look, this is really none of my business, I know.” Sally looked at the ground. “And if I’m out of line, I apologize in advance.”
“What it is, Sally?” Megan was intrigued.
“Well, I only wanted to say that if you were upset about something last night…” Sally looked at Megan then. “And that something involved Chaz…”
Her heartbeat sped up. Oh, shit. Is it that obvious?
“Then I thought you should know that maybe you didn’t see what you thought you saw.”
It took a moment for the words to sink in. “Excuse me?”
“If you got to the hot spring early and saw something that upset you, I think maybe you misunderstood what you were seeing.”
Megan’s mind raced. She wanted to deny that she knew what Sally was talking about, but if what she was saying was true…“Let’s say you’re right,” she said. “How do you know I misunderstood?”
Sally bit her lip like she didn’t really want to answer. “Because Chaz told me that Elise kissed her last night…and she thought you might have seen them.” Her eyes found Megan’s. “She also told me that it took her by surprise, and she told Elise not to do it again.”
“Really?” Megan’s funk lifted instantly.
“Really,” Sally confirmed with a smile. “She’s not attracted to Elise. She’s more interested in someone else.” She winked at Megan and left.
Well. Well. Well. This is certainly an interesting development, now, isn’t it?
*
Chaz first suspected something was up when she spotted Sally approaching from the direction of the tents with an impish grin. When their eyes met, Sally began whistling tunelessly as though the picture of innocence.
“What are you up to?” Chaz asked.
“Nothing. Nothing at all,” Sally replied, as she set to work getting out utensils and plates for breakfast.
Chaz was busy cooking omelets and hash browns over a pair of stoves and didn’t have time to put Sally under the third degree, but she suspected some kind of plot was being hatched.
The clincher was the happy smile on Megan’s face and the glimmer in her eyes when she appeared a minute or two later.
Something’s going on.
“That smells wonderful,” Megan said, choosing the chair beside her. “And I could eat a horse! Can I help?”
“No, thanks,” Chaz said, relieved that Megan’s dark cloud had disappeared, but in a quandary about why. Sally better not have said anything to her.
She had decided, after lying awake next to Megan for nearly two hours last night, listening to her breathe, that it probably was just as well Megan had cooled toward her again, regardless of the reasons why. It would make it a lot easier to get through the next week.
But now things had flip-flopped again. Megan certainly was looking friendly at the moment. Entirely too friendly. Every time Chaz glanced in Megan’s direction, she found Megan watching her. Watching her like a cat watches a bird in a cage, with heavy-lidded eyes and this bemused half smile on her face…like she has definite plans for you, later on.
Feeling Megan’s eyes on her was getting her way too distracted and way too excited. The hand holding the spatula began to shake.
“Chaz?” Megan said softly.
She loved hearing her name said like that. She turned her head to look at Megan and found that Megan was grinning from ear to ear and looking incredibly sexy, her shoulder-length hair tousled from sleep. “Yes?” she managed, her voice sounding a lot lower than usual.
“I think those are done.” Megan gestured toward the pan that held the hash browns. The way she said it gave Chaz a sneaking suspicion that Megan was suppressing snorts of laughter.
Sally, standing a few feet away, started chuckling.
The pan was smoking. The hash browns were burnt to a crisp.
“Shit!” Chaz dumped that batch onto a plate. “Those are mine,” she grumbled.
Sally and Megan both erupted into mirth.
“Wise guys. You two…” Chaz pointed to Sally with the spatula and then Megan. But before she could say anything more, the other clients began to amble up, and she let it drop and started more hash browns cooking.
“Coffeeeeeee. I need coffeeeee,” Pat groaned, bleary-eyed.
“Sit,” Linda said. “I’ll get you some, honey.”
“Hash browns!” Yancey peered into one of the fry pans. “And omelets, too! I can’t believe how well we’re eating on this trip.”
“I’ll second that,” Justine said. “I’m glad we’re getting so much exercise or I’d really be gaining weight.”
“So today is caribou day, right?” Elise asked.
“No guarantees,” Chaz said. “But yes, our best chance of seeing a good group of them is at our next campsite.”
“I can’t wait,” Megan said, and the tone of her voice made Chaz wonder if she was taking about the caribou or something else.
*
They had a long paddle to get there, through more gloriously breathtaking scenery. There were fewer and fewer trees as they went along, and finally the river curved out of the valley they’d been in and cut through a pass between the mountains, then emerged onto a wide sweeping landscape characterized by low rolling hills of emerald green tundra, surrounded by distant, snowcapped peaks.
The water was getting swifter all the time as the river dropped in elevation, cascading over rocks and split in channels by boulders bigger than cars. Three times, in the more turbulent water, Chaz pulled them over briefly so that she could scout ahead. So far, there had been no stretch so bad that she made anyone portage, but she reminded them to closely follow her line of travel through those areas and not to bunch up too much.
It was late afternoon when they arrived at their next campsite, a flat stretch of gravel surrounded by hilly terrain that partially obscured their view of the distant mountains. “Where are the caribou?” Justine asked Chaz with disappointment as they beached their kayaks.
“We have to hike to higher ground to see them,” Chaz said. “I thought we’d grab a quick dinner first, unless you all would rather wait and eat late?”
“I’m starving,” Pat said.
“You’re always starving,” Linda replied.
“Yeah, well,” Pat embraced her lover tightly and raised both eyebrows suggestively, “I’ve been burning up a lot of calories.”
“Where do you two get your energy?” Yancey grumped. “If my husband was here and wanted to do the deed, he’d be sorely disappointed. I’m whipped from paddling.”
“Oh, I suppose I could find some hidden reserves if there was a good reason to,” Elise remarked, looking hopefully at Chaz.
Megan was delighted that Chaz seemed to ignore the comment. All day long, she’d been thinking about the night to come, about lying beside Chaz. About kissing her, finally, and more. Her thoughts had kept her in a mild state of arousal, energized and expectant. She certainly wouldn’t be too tired when the moment arrived.
*
Setting up the campsite had become a familiar routine, and they were all anxious to see the caribou, so they split into groups and had the tents up and dinner prepared in about an hour and a half. They wolfed down big plates of pasta primavera, washed down with merlot, and assembled with their cameras and binoculars about the time the setting sun began to paint the world around them with tinges of gold, and pink, and amber.
Chaz led the way over spongy, boggy tundra and around grassy tussocks, some a foot high. It was difficult walking, and in no time Megan’s calves began to protest.
“My legs are killing me,” Yancey complained in a low voice from behind her.
“Join the crowd,” Justine agreed. “This is tough going. We’re going to sure sleep good tonight.”
“It’ll be worth it if the caribou are there,” Pat said. “But I’m going to be really bummed if we’re doing this for nothing.”
They went up and down several small rises, scaring up a lot of
small birds, whose nests were concealed amid the tussocks—and an arctic fox, who was digging after some small prey when they interrupted him. Cameras clicked as he froze, watching them, then ambled away to try for dinner somewhere else.
After an hour of solid walking, they faced an enormous hill, etched by ancient game trails.
Chaz paused at the base to address them. “Okay, we’re here. On the other side of this is one of the main routes the caribou use. Cross your fingers.”
They scaled the hill, tired legs protesting the steep elevation. But at the top, all weariness evaporated in the most awesome spectacle any of them had ever witnessed. Every woman stood motionless, mesmerized.
In the long, flat valley below them tens of thousands of caribou moved like a wide, living brown river. Megan was speechless. The picture on the brochure didn’t begin to do the scene justice. She had no idea something like this still existed in the modern world. It reminded her of what the Great Plains must have been like, before the buffalo herds were decimated by hunters.
“There are more than a hundred and fifty thousand animals in the herd,” Sally said. “I’d say that’s a good bit of them down there, maybe two-thirds.”
The wind changed slightly and carried the sounds of the herd up to them. Grunts, and bellows, and snorts, and a persistent clicking noise.
“What’s that weird sound?” Yancey asked.
“Their leg tendons do that when they walk,” Megan answered automatically.
“That’s very good. You really did your homework.”
Chaz’s voice, so near, startled her. She had been so intent on the caribou she hadn’t realized Chaz was standing just behind her left shoulder.
“What do you think? Was it worth the trip?” Chaz looked into her eyes.
Her expression was so serious that Megan somehow knew her answer meant a great deal. “Absolutely,” she answered honestly. “I’ll remember every detail of this day for the rest of my life.”
