by Jaime Reed
“Complicated. Yeah, I know. That’s what you keep telling me.” Her upper lip curled and twitched. “Just do me a favor. Pick one guy and stick with it.” With a swing of her ponytail, she stomped away.
What was Mia’s problem? I’d never seen her so upset before, and it puzzled me to stand at the receiving end of her criticism, a position reserved for Dougie. Any other time, I would’ve been all over that, but now I had class and a hungry roommate who needed food.
It wasn’t good to let Lilith starve or else force her to use her “mojo” to lure boys to me. Subtle signs of the draw began at second period, with boys grinning in my face, and again in gym class during warm-ups.
Mere months ago, no one was thinking about my pudgy ass, but now I had dudes—otherworldly and benign—drooling like bums in front of a hot meal. How was I going to deal with this when I went off to law school? Men were everywhere, lawyers, bailiffs, judges. I could sway the jury with a smile and I wouldn’t have to work for anything in life—except integrity. Some girls might have reveled in all this attention, but it just left me bitter.
While doing crunches, I regarded the bleachers and what had occurred behind them. Memories of the thrill resurfaced—the fear, and the unspeakable pleasure of feeding. Boys stretched across the gym, muscles flexing, all that potent male testosterone pumping through the air. My body ached, my tongue burned for another taste, yet the energy wafting off the students was only a tease. I wanted the real thing, the whole thing. I needed a donor and I needed it now!
Tempted beyond human limits, I raced out of the gym to the locker room before the plot to attack my peers was set to action. Leaning over the sink, I looked Lilith square in the eyes. Her light flickered and swelled behind my brown contacts in an attempt to break free.
Mimicking my mother’s best authoritative voice, I said, “We can’t do this. That was a one-time thing and it’s over.”
She wasn’t having it and showed her disobedience with more tingles.
I grabbed my book bag out of my locker and fished for the emergency candy hiding at the bottom. Sweets were just a temporary solution, but a great substitute in a pinch. My hand ran across the bottle of olive oil I tucked away. As though struck by an electric shock, Lilith jumped and cowered in her private little corner.
“That’s it! I said I was sorry. What is your problem? I’m sick of you and your attitude. Either you talk to me or—”
Before I could finish, an image appeared before my eyes.
I stood in front of a steamy bathroom mirror, but it wasn’t me. It was Nadine. Her wet blond hair rested in a tangled twist on one shoulder. Her skin looked almost translucent under the harsh light. Droplets of water ran down her neck, absorbing into the towel wrapped around her. Her green eyes glistened with tears, hooded under shadows that came with no sleep. She held a bottle of pills with shaky hands, and cried as if it was the answer to her prayers.
“This is for the best,” she whispered as she poured out the tablets and swallowed one by one.
Lilith screamed inside her head—as much as spirits could scream—pleading for her to stop. Nadine ignored her and kept swallowing pills, washing it down with handfuls of water from the tap. The drugs worked fast, and each time she threw her head back, the surroundings blurred. Lines, shapes, and a filmy coat framed the edges. Lilith trembled within, worrying the spine to get Nadine’s attention.
“I need to get away from him. You won’t let me, ” she muttered.
Lilith whined and twitched, a servant tugging to the hem of her master’s robe, begging not just for her life, but for her home.
“You want me to stop?” Nadine slurred. “Then you cut your connection with Tobias. Now!”
I blinked away the vision and welcomed the familiar layout of the locker room. Tears dragged down my cheeks, joining the wet trail down my neck.
Collecting my thoughts, I asked, “She tried to kill herself? To get rid of you? Because of Tobias?”
Lilith tingled in reply.
“And you think I’m trying to do the same thing with the oil?”
Another twitch cruised up my spine.
“Lilith, I’m sorry. I wouldn’t do that. I admit I wish things could go back the way they were, for you to be with Nadine, but we can’t. We’re each other’s now, and I promise I won’t do anything to hurt you.”
The sound of a toilet flushing stopped our little heart-to-heart. I’d checked the stalls earlier, and I hadn’t seen or heard anyone come in. The door opened and the image that greeted me turned my blood to ice. I forced my mouth not to drop open at who stood there, plain as day and within earshot of my one-sided dialogue.
“Oh my God! Mia?”
16
I sat perfectly still, hoping immobility could somehow turn me invisible.
How much had she heard? How much could I explain away?
Mia sauntered out of the stall and breezed past me on her way to the sink to wash her hands. Instead of her gym uniform, she wore her usual jailbait couture, with not a stitch out of place. She fluffed and primped her hair, while her jaws worked on a thick wad of gum.
Before I could think up a good excuse, she spoke. “You know, Sam, you really shouldn’t talk to yourself. People will think you’re schizo.”
When she looked at me through the mirror, I saw the gold glow in her eyes and realized who really stood there. It made perfect sense. Mia didn’t have gym this semester and wouldn’t have stayed in the locker room any longer than she had to.
Dumbstruck, I asked, “You can turn into girls, too?”
“I told you, I can be any person I see. You’d be surprised how many chicks are into that sort of thing,” Tobias replied, matching Mia’s pitch and cadence perfectly.
The outfit was also Mia’s, which inspired an interesting question. “How do you change your clothes like that?”
“Who says I’m wearing clothes?” he asked in a low, syrupy tone, and speaking in Mia’s voice made it that more disturbing. Watching me squirm, he said, “It’s mind over matter, an illusion. Even as a Cambion, you can understand that much, can’t you? So, are you ready to talk to me now?”
I dodged the question in exchange for another. “How long have you been in here?”
“A couple minutes. I heard you crying in class and came to check on you.”
I wiped my nose with my shirtsleeve. “I wasn’t crying.”
Popping his gum, he leaned a hip against the counter. “I could hear your tears, Flower.”
“Hear my ... what do tears sound like?”
“Thunder, or like a heavy ball rolling across the floor. Kinda annoying, actually.”
“Whoa, wait. Is it just my tears, or anyone’s tears?”
“I hear all tears within an immediate area. That’s why I stay away from weddings, funerals, and nurseries. But I’m attuned to you, so your tears are always the loudest, no matter how far you are.” Seeing my astonishment, he went on to say, “The world you experience is completely different from mine. For example, did you know irony is a color?”
The question threw me completely into left field. “No, I didn’t.”
“Well, now you do. It’s an iridescent tone too faint for humans to see, yet it’s all around you. So, why are you crying?”
“I’m not talking to you, and could you change into something else please?”
“I think it’s better I stay like this in case someone walks in. This way you can talk to Mia without talking to Mia, you know? I’m sure it’s killing you keeping this secret from her.”
This guy was too observant for his own good. Then again, stalkers were pretty thorough. But why did he care if I suffered when he was the cause of most of it?
He sat across from me on the bench and flipped back long dark hair, a gesture Mia made frequently. “Come on, girl, talk. What’s eating at you?” He blew a bubble the size of his head before it popped.
“Just go away!” I slid to the edge of the bench.
He sucked the deflated bubble into his mouth. “Can�
��t. You’re hurting. It’s not healthy for you to starve yourself. That’s how accidents happen and dead bodies appear.”
“Which is why I can’t feed here. Lilith’s out of control.”
“She is who she is,” he crooned in a haughty, I-told-you-so way. “You’re the one trying to make her go against her nature. Nadine tried to leash her, but the spirit prevails eventually.”
I shook my head, trying to reject his words, no matter how true they might be.
“Have lunch with me. I’ll take you someplace safe where you can relax.”
I cowered away from his outstretched hand. “I don’t think so.”
“You think too much. This isn’t about you. Come on.”
“I’m not going anywhere with ...” was the last thing I remembered saying before a hand shook me awake.
It was barely a second in time, not even a full blink, and everything changed without natural transition. Shaking the cobwebs from my brain, I took in the new scenery, which didn’t resemble the girls’ locker room at all.
I was in a truck, Malik’s new truck—telling by how high we sat from the ground—and parked under a canopy of trees. Beyond the trees lay a row of small colonial houses bordered by white picket fences. A horse and carriage trotted along the dirt road, and I briefly wondered if I had traveled back in time. Much like the grocery store incident, it took a minute to get my bearings.
Without conscious effort, I now sat in Merchants Square, the heart of Colonial Williamsburg, the place where bonnets and buckled shoes were considered casual wear all year round. But knowing my location didn’t explain how I got there, or how I had changed back into my school clothes.
A low, velvety voice spoke close to my ear, too intimate for my comfort. “Come on, sleepyhead. We’re here.”
I lifted my head to Tobias, in his natural state, smiling from the driver’s seat. His hair fell around his face in a soft, wavy curtain, daring me to touch it.
Fighting the urge, I asked, “What’s going on?”
“We’re having lunch.”
“No, no, no. How did I get out of school? How did I get dressed? Did you drug me?”
He looked as calm and reserved as a doctor would while diagnosing a patient. “You have an overactive imagination. You daydream a lot; you let your mind wander to the point where you lose track of time. It’s kinda cute, but I don’t recommend you doing that while hungry. You’re weak and Lilith can easily take over if she feels the need. So here we are.”
Take over? Like possessed? Granted, she was a spirit, but to actually become possessed, to do things unaware, scared the hell out of me. I had endured that out-of-body experience before, but I had been awake for it, cognizant to an extent. This was a full-on blackout, and according to the clock on the dashboard, fifteen minutes of my life were unaccounted for. There’s no telling what could’ve happened.
As if hearing my internal debate, Tobias affirmed, “Nothing happened. Although I’ll admit, you’re far more agreeable when unconscious.”
What was that? The sex offender’s anthem? I scooted closer to my door.
“Let me give you a demon lesson. Incubi have the power of suggestion, seduction. We tempt weak humans into making the willing decision to surrender, but we ourselves can’t do it by force, especially if they’re pure. Think about it. If all we had to do was jump a woman in a dark alley, then what would be the point of our draw, or our beauty? No one, not even our victims can say we forced them to do anything. It’s a bit poetic in that regard—forbidden fruit and all that. Humanity is all about choice, good or bad. We simply tip the scales in our favor.”
I took a small sigh of relief, but it was short-lived. “Does this apply to Cambions?”
“Cambions are primarily human, so yes. I may have Lilith’s vote, but she has no say in the final verdict. It’s your body, your free will. Your purity makes you a bit more resistant to my influence, but Lilith isn’t as squeaky clean as you are. There’s the rub. As long as that purity remains, not even Lilith can override it. Won’t stop her from trying, though.” He smiled.
I nodded and processed the new data. In the beginning, I’d gotten upset over how Cambions could sniff out a virgin in a crowded room, but my purity had saved me from a few scrapes in the past and was still going strong. As a Cambion, I now knew what they saw, that bright ring around the body while more experienced auras looked dim by comparison.
“Come on, let’s eat.” He climbed out of the car and went to my side to open the door.
I looked to the dirt path leading to the street, then looked back to him. “I—I can’t.”
“Sure you can. Feeding in crowds is safer than feeding directly. You need this, so come on.” He caught my waist and hefted me out of the truck like I was a toddler. And much like a toddler, I kicked and squirmed while he carried me to a bench in front of the souvenir shop.
Setting me down, he leaned over me with a finger pointed in my face. “Sit and absorb.”
Confident that I couldn’t outrun him, he sat next to me and observed the square. My plot to escape faded once I locked eyes on the parade of tourists and locals. The heavy tourist rush was over, but charters and yellow school buses crammed the parking lot. The dry, chilly air carried smoke from wood stoves and the musky stench from where horses had left their business in the street.
Historical homes, taverns, boutiques, and apathetic livestock lined this one-mile strip of brick and cobblestone. Signs written in colonial language hung from iron hinges. Happy couples walked hand in hand, taking in the sights. Actors with cloaks and oil lanterns retold the tribulations of eighteenth-century living from firsthand experience. An elementary class huddled close, while their chaperones instructed them to stay with the group.
I’d never had a thing for children—my siblings had killed all enthusiasm—but now I was able to see them in a different light. And what light! Their laughter carried a tune of wind chimes in the breeze; their energy danced in the air like pollen. With my eyes closed, I breathed it in, gorging my lungs and spirit with nourishment.
We sat there for almost an hour, watching people come and go, the centuries tangled together in cultural harmony. The distance made it difficult to pull the energy in, similar to sucking a thick milkshake through a straw. Our reward was worth the extra effort and damn if it didn’t feel good going down.
Moaning in satisfaction, he asked, “Feeling better?”
“A bit.” I threw my head back and let the sunlight warm my face. “Why are you being nice to me?”
“I’m a nice guy. When I want something.”
At least he was honest. Across the street, a tall blonde girl in a green William and Mary sweatshirt left the college bookstore. My eyes followed her drifting through the crowd in the direction of the campuses a block away. It was weird how the smallest things could trigger memories.
“Why did Nadine try to kill herself?” I asked. Now that my appetite was sated, I could move on to more pressing matters. Lilith’s vision bothered me, and Tobias was the only one in a talking mood right now. But he wasn’t prepared for that question.
He looked to the candy shop as if the answer lay there. Anger lines altered his profile; his jaw flexed, straining to find the words. “Lilith wanted to be with her mate. Nadine wanted something else, but she couldn’t resist me. She tried to end it for good, but the only way to do that is through death. To save the life of her host, Lilith promised to close herself from me. For years, I couldn’t find her, I couldn’t feel her.”
“How does that work?” I asked.
“Why would I tell you that? So you can block me again?” He sniggered. “I don’t think so. But that’s the reason why Lilith couldn’t sense me in town or while we were in class together. That kiss under the bleachers—”
“You mean your oral assault—”
“—was the first time Lilith fed from me since the barrier was created. My energy broke down that wall and now Lilith’s getting that ol’ feeling again. This is a fresh start.
Nadine was a strict master, but Lilith was patient, waiting for a time when Nadine wasn’t so depressed and guarded to reach out to me again.”
“She was in for a long wait,” I scoffed. “Of the years I knew Nadine, I never saw her smile. She was in love with misery.”
“She wasn’t always like that. She had so much light and optimism and—”
“You corrupted her,” I cut in. When he didn’t deny it, I asked, “What happened to the guy she was seeing, the married man?”
He caught my accusatory stare. “I didn’t kill him if that’s what you’re implying. She was tired of being the other woman and ended that relationship on her own. Didn’t go as well as I would’ve liked, but I offered her a distraction, a way out.”
“A true knight in rusted armor,” I derided. “Did you love Nadine, or was it just Lilith you were after?”
“I love all women. It’s who I am.” He grinned, displaying rows of even, white teeth. “Incubi don’t love, Samara. We devour, and on those very rare occasions, become devoured. Love is far too light and frilly a word for what we feel. So no, I didn’t just love Nadine.”
My eyes met the ground. Caleb had once said the same thing about Cambions. Must be a universal principle. “If I’m the only thing in your way, then what’s holding you back from killing me?”
He reared back as if struck. “Why on earth would I kill you?”
“Lilith will be free, and you can go off and do whatever the hell you creatures do.”
He wore a pained expression, not sure how to form the proper response. “Samara, I can’t hold something that has no body.” Sensing my confusion, he leaned closer. “Lilith is a spirit; she has no life and no body. She uses you as a vessel, and feeds off the life energy you provide.”
“Did she ever have a body?” I asked, trying to repel the warmth of his nearness and the smooth bass of his voice.
“No, but her source did many centuries ago. Lilith’s ancestor was a full-blooded succubus. When she first possessed a body, she had to relinquish her own, much like shedding off a coat. She didn’t return to the body in time, and it decayed, leaving her stuck with the body she now acquired. Passing down the generations through Nadine’s bloodline was her means of survival, immortality.”
