by V. Theia
“Not going in?” He indicated behind him. I felt my hackles rise when he simpered. I just bet he knew I’d seen him in there and scurried out. Asshole.
“I forgot I left the stove on.”
“Hm. Indeed. I’m just running out to pick up dinner. We have a lot to catch up on as you’d imagine.”
Oh, yeah, a nice shot. Target hit. He always suspected my feelings for Noah, even poked at me about them in a joking way in front of Noah and others.
I merely smiled and climbed into the open elevator.
Unfortunately, Prince of all dickheads followed me, filling the car more than I’d like. I moved to the right and faced forward and hoped the thing moved down to my floor with warp speed.
“I’m surprised to see you’re still living here.”
“And why is that? It’s a good building.”
“Sure.” Tom said. But it sounded more like fuck off. “It is, with Noah paying the rent.” He took another swipe. My eyes blazed staring at him.
“I pay my own rent, thanks for the concern, not that it’s any of your business.”
His tone devoid of nuance. “Noah has always been my business.”
Even when you were banging another model at fashion week? Yeah, I bet Noah was forefront in your mind, I wanted to scream, but kept it to myself with barely any will holding me together.
The elevator opened, and I thanked god.
“Later.” I told him briskly.
“Don’t worry if you don’t see him for a few days, sweetie,” he called after me, smarm lacing through every word. “I’ll take good care of him.”
And fuck you.
Now I could be wrong, because I’m a goddamn unicorn princess, my momma insisted so, but I so get the feeling that guy truly hated me.
The feeling was altogether mutual.
I should be feeling hate. And I was. I didn’t want Noah hurt by that manwhore, but it was a forest fire of panic flooding me as I locked the door behind me, leaning against it, my head was buzzing like bees. So much alarm.
He’s not mine to lose.
He’s not mine to lose.
I should want him happy. Even with Prince turd, if that’s what he wanted.
So much for having a nap. I’d been abruptly awakened before my head had even touched a pillow, now there was no chance I’d sleep.
Not with my mind going in ten directions, each one more jealous than the last.
And I hated the emotion. Hated having it part of every breath.
Something had to give and soon, or these feelings would ruin my goddamn life.
Slightly pissed off at my reaction, I felt the sucker punch to my solar plexus from seeing one dickhead that once mattered to Noah.
Could I really bear being around Tom again, not just because of his screw up but my own feelings in the way? To see Noah with him again.
Deviating through the living room I found my wallet, keys and cell phone. Fresh air of the wine variety sounded amazing right now and I was going to indulge until I could stomach the realization the lovebirds were probably up there right now making up for lost time.
My fucking head was going to explode.
It was a kick in the pants that I only wanted to be loved and Noah could so easily give it to the Tom’s of the world and not me who is more devoted to him than anyone else.
I felt part longing and part rage.
It’s so stupid.
It’s not like any of this is brand new news to me. For fucks sake, Sena. My plain irrational anger was palpable, and it persisted, it festered and made me ache.
Just love me back. I’m pathetic.
The danger of my heart being annihilated is more real now than ever before.
~*~*~
During my life I’ve done some stupid things I wasn’t proud of, it’s all part of growing into an adult. Who hasn’t? Some turn into funny anecdotes you tell at parties, others you keep to yourself.
What came next was some A-grade dumb shit, even my granny would tell me so. Because bless my soul, I was an idiot to let the first guy that came up to me in the bar buy me a drink.
Not that he was a douche. He was worse. He was a closet douche. Women know the kind, he’d smile and charm on the outside and you don’t see his douchery until it’s too late. We sat together and talked about college football for thirty minutes, it’s one of my great loves so I was happy to have someone to chat with. I missed being home to go to see the Clemson Tigers in person. This (closet douche) guy supported the Boston Eagles, his hometown, there’s no accounting for taste, but he was cute in a friendly kind of way and we bantered about the times our teams have met (we creamed them thank-you-very-much) He certainly was not my type, and I had no intentions of taking this one drink any further, but there’s nothing wrong in being sociable, right? Maybe I am as momma says too trusting of strangers, because when he laughed at something I said and reached out to palm my thigh I wasn’t expecting it.
Knocking his hand away I knew it was time to go, or at least wind this conversation down.
“Ah, come on, baby-doll.” He grinned slickly, a patch of his muddy blonde hair falling into his eyes. “We can have some fun. I live just nearby.”
What kind of sleaze uses baby-doll as an endearment?
“Thanks for the offer. But no.”
His eyes changed.
Every nuance of friendliness morphed into something nastier in a second. It entered his eyes and it caught me by surprise because we’d only been chatting.
“So, you’ve just been a cock-tease this entire time? Un-fucking-believable, bitch. I should have known.”
I was taken aback. “Excuse me, you, arrogant jerk. I’ve done no such thing. We were having a football conversation, that’s it. If you translated it to mean I wanted to climb into your bed then that’s your issue, and I suggest you seek counseling.” I wanted to tell him to fuck right off as I slid off my stool and took myself to a table, not before I heard him call me a teasing bitch again. And he wasn’t quiet about it either.
More upsetting than having dirty daggers thrown at me from across the bar, the guy never took his stare off me, was that in a packed bar not one person spoke up for me though they must have heard his insult.
Chivalry was truly dead.
And now I was a little spooked. It was late, I was alone, and that guy was staring at me as he knocked back whiskies. My apartment a block away, did I chance walking alone? I’d seen the movies, I knew that was a crappy idea.
I thought about calling a girlfriend with her boyfriend who could drop by, safety in numbers, but the Southern part of me didn’t want to bother anyone, least of all for something and nothing. The guy probably didn’t care an iota about me now, undoubtedly eyeing up his next victim, but when I looked over, yep…staring hate at me.
My belly gripped, and I stayed at the bar longer than I wanted to.
Until around 10pm.
KingOfManhattan: Do you want to go to Divas with me tonight? Leaving in 10 minutes.
Oh, thank you, Jesus. I can’t even tell you the relief I felt reading Noah’s text. It felt like a lifeline. A sexier Batman.
SouthernBelle: I can’t deal with another late night. But can you do me a favor?
KingOfManHattan: We don’t do favors.
Smartass. I smiled.
SouthernBelle: Then what do we do?
KingOfManhattan: We just do things for each other, no payback.
SouthernBelle: Then will you do something for me? ;)
SouthernBelle: I meant :) not ;)
KingOfManhattan: The wink was better. What do you need, kitten?
My greedy heart soaked up his instant offer. How stupid was I? It’s like I can’t help it, my body responded before my mind told me to chill my shit.
Okay. Do I tell him the whole truth or the watered-down version that I just wanted him to pick me up? And will the dickhead be with him? Ugh. I almost changed my mind because if I saw them together before I’d effectively put my barriers in place I mig
ht hurl.
SouthernBelle: I’m at O’Dooley’s. Can you come and get me, please? There’s a creepy Mc Creeperson guy and I don’t want to walk home, in case, you know, he makes a skin suit out of me.
When he didn’t text me back right away, or even call, as I thought he might, I wondered if I’d missed him and he’d already left for work, maybe he was busy getting his face kissed off by he-who-we-hated. Ugh. That was more likely when I thought about it.
Tom was pushy.
Tom was an epic moron.
Tom was—Noah striding in through the doorway looking like that avenging Batman of a few minutes ago. Ohmigod, four minutes it took him. What did he do powerwalk here? Either way I was so grateful I beamed a smile, more so because he was gorgeously alone.
Etched on his face was his trademark scowl. I didn’t think it was for me until he was right in front of me. “The fuck, Sena?”
Excuse me?
I blinked.
“What? Thank you for coming. I was probably worried for nothing.” Now I felt like melodramatic crap for bothering him. Way to go, Liz Taylor, should I take my bow now? I grabbed my things and made to leave. His hand stopped me.
“Where the fuck is this guy?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters. Where?” Voice like steel, I felt it stir my blood. His eyes were no better, sharp and locked on my face, his hand on my waist now in a claiming hold. Protective. Not claiming, stupid.
I nodded over the bar and if looks could kill then douche-guy would have turned to smoke instantly.
No one would ever claim Noah to be a walkover, he got shit done, he was that guy who handled things and for a brief second, I questioned if he was going to stride over and go all Krays on him.
Something flickered in my lower region.
To be loved by Noah, even platonically was about the greatest gift a person be blessed with.
“Leave it. Let’s go. He’s just like all guys, thinks with his glands and doesn’t like being turned down.”
“Not all men.”
His arm slid around my waist and stayed there the whole way home.
He kept silent.
When I was the object of his affection it was as though the sun shone brighter than daybreak basking me in happy juice. It was a blessing and a curse. A curse because it made me want. I almost sought to put up my Noah shields when he was being sweet.
But now his ex was back on the scene and I felt unsettled in my skin.
“Thanks.” I told him at the door. He followed me into my apartment. “Sorry if I made you late.”
For a second, I though he wasn’t going to talk at all. Until.
“Jesus Christ, Sena. Do you like putting yourself in those situations for fucks sake?”
Blink. Blink.
“Excuse me?” I huffed. “This was not my doing!”
“Assholes in bars. You could have been hurt. Or worse.” Eyes were dark clouds. Face like fury. He was seconds away from giving me the safety lecture and he’d be right, but still. Not cool to get mad at me. My eyebrows bunched, and I dropped my things on the hall table, he rounded on me, pulling me by the arm and pressed me up against the wall.
“Fine. I’m sorry. I won’t bother you again if—”
“Shut up. Just shut up.” He looked in pain, his gaze moving over my face as if he wanted to say something. Silence was his only move. I was certain he’d lecture me, but I could see that maybe I scared him and I’m sorry for that.
I started to tell him then noticed his attention drifted down to my mouth, and, god, I felt him there like a hot spike of need thrusting into my body all at once.
I shuddered against him and hoped he didn’t take note of my reaction.
I tried to push him back, to slide out from him.
My lips thrummed with need. I licked them, tipped my chin up, god, he smelled incredible as always, something darker that is addictive.
“Do you know what it would do to me if something happened to you? It’d fucking kill me, Sena.” His voice dragged hoarsely, and my heart stopped.
I wanted a taste of him so badly I was shaking.
“Noah…” I don’t know what I would have said after that.
A tortured sound escaped him, his broad chest lifted and fell on his hitched breath.
And then as if I’ve willed it —Jesus, maybe I did— his mouth crashed down on mine and I’m stunned. My gasp audible, and he used that millisecond to slide his tongue in.
Noah’s mouth on mine and I was so screwed.
Firm and soft, demanding lips.
He kissed the same way he ruled his life and business with utter control and I’m so fucking devastated by him.
The first touch was nothing I’ve anticipated or dreamed of.
It’s better.
It was a sonic blast and his body pushed me into the wall, lifting me up until my legs dangled, we didn’t break the kiss.
I daren’t for fear I’ve fallen, broken my neck and I’m in a fucking coma and this was my epic hallucination.
We move by some means of his strength carrying me across the floor and Noah dropped me onto the sofa and followed me down straight after.
We locked eyes. The longest stare of my life.
Two panting breaths.
I have the sinking feeling he’s going to tell me it was a mistake. He didn’t mean to fall on my mouth.
But he doesn’t. Further shocking the air out of me his mouth found mine again, we opened at the same time and groaned as our tongues touched.
Oh, god.
His tongue was daring, his lips moved over mine with detailed intent.
He tasted sweet.
He tasted fucking incredible. I sucked and kissed deeper, I couldn’t get enough.
He growled, and his hand twisted in my hair, holding me confined against the onslaught of his seeking tongue.
I’m unsure which of us was trembling.
We became uncoordinated, noses clashed, and it made me giggle and relax into it because Noah is fucking kissing me.
Holy Gouda, if I died now I’d be one pissed off afterlife ghost.
“Fuck, kitten,” he sucked my lower lip. “You taste…fuck. So good.”
My mind went mad. I had no control over my tongue. “I want this.” I told him with my hormones screaming. I touched him everywhere I could reach. His body fully on top of me now, hip to hip, groin to groin, with the noticeable hard pipe digging my belly and I pumped up.
He groaned and gripped my nape, tilting my head up, his pupils were enormous.
“Give me your mouth.” He commanded and just swooped in and took it before I could form a response when I angled my head back and Noah showed me I haven’t really been kissed before.
My mind sprinted.
What are we doing?
Everything would change.
I wanted it to change, didn't I?
I couldn't think over the swelling ease in which we kissed each other like it was the only thing either of us craved to do. Lust so dense it fogged the air and when Noah pulled my thighs apart to settle in the nest, those decisions are made already because there's no way I'm stopping. It even occurred to me if he decided it was a mistake afterward I still won't change my mind now.
I want it.
I want him.
Urgently.
Any way I can have him. And that made me pitiful on some level, I know that, I'm acknowledging it with the last vestige of brain power before everything checked offline and I concentrated on the heady sensation of large hands pulling down my pants, tossing them to the floor and followed up with my panties until the bottom half of me was absolutely naked.
I heard him swallow in between my rushing panting, felt the rapid pump of his heart when I reached for his shirt.
“I want to taste you.”
My clit swelled, grew wet and needy. It was almost illicit how he raked his gaze but before I could truly take it all in, his head descended. I'm laid on the sofa with my legs spread,
my hips lifted, aching.
Noah could accept it as consent.
Good god. I want him so badly.
Noah’s hands on my inner thighs felt incredible keeping me open, the power and desire of the first touch of his mouth on my mound and I nearly went off like a rocket.
“Oh, Jesus.”
He brushed his mouth back and forth, getting a feel of what I presume was his first mouth to vagina action.
My vagina. Ohmigod. If I don't die of excess inhalation, then the impending orgasm on my peripheral was sure to take me out.
His hot breath stirred my pussy. Oh god, more. Please. Please.
I whimpered the plea before I comprehended.
He chuckled and gave me a long lick. “I will, kitten.”
For a novice, Noah didn't slowly introduce himself to my deprived wet business, he grabbed my hipbones and planted his face deep, going deeper, forcing my pussy open with strikes of his tongue.
I'm dying. I am so fricking dying.
“I might not be the first man to tongue-fuck this southern pussy, kitten, but I’ll—”
“Be the only queer to tongue-fuck my southern pussy?” I interrupted on a gasping laugh as he rose his head to give me this look, his brows arched and aroused if that was possible, talking over me like I hadn’t even spoken.
“—be the man who makes you come the hardest. I’m going to destroy this southern pussy with my mouth.”
Oh. Ohh. Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.
“Maybe you need a map to—” I offered helpful and shyly, my insides shaking with anticipation.
His head lifted again, and he gave me that arrogant expression he wore often, then he dropped right between my legs, raking his tongue slowly and erotically over my clit before glancing my way. “Do you think so?”
God. I was seconds from coming with one little flick. “No.” Everything trembled. Skin, bone, voice. I was a mess. “No, you don’t.” I quaked.
He smiled and kissed the inside of my thigh. “So, I can do this my way now, yeah?”
I nodded vigorously, unable to use my voice.
With two hands around the back of his thick neck I led him down to where I wanted him, with any luck he had his tongue out ready.
