by R. H. Vesely
Just then Kelley and Mattie came over to the table, set down a pitcher of beer, shook out their snow covered coats and sat down.
"Hi guys," said Kelley, "looks like some serious talk going on here. Care if we join you."
"No, pull up a chair, plenty of room and plenty of beer." "Great to see you both again," said Bill, as he gave Kelley a wink.
"Ah, yeah, pull up a chair," said Randy, completely taken aback by their appearance at the table.
"So, what are you girls doing out and about in this blizzard? You must really need a drink," said Randy, hoping verbalizing something would allow him to regain his composure.
"Haven't been out together or actually at all in a while, so Kelley called and we both agreed it was time," smiled Mattie, as she glanced over at Kelley.
"Gee, why not? I thought you two sort of got together on a regular basis," said Randy, still hoping that talking would somehow help him find his bearings.
"Oh, a lot of sort of intense personal shit for us both that we first had to deal with individually," said Kelley.
Randy immediately felt like an idiot for his prying question. He decided he had better shut up.
"Hey ladies, I am flush tonight. If I give you money, would you be willing to play some tunes on the juke? I am too friggin tired to move and I already know Randy's taste in music and I am far more interested in yours," laughed Bill, as he gave Kelley another wink.
"Sure, not a problem, we'll find something to rock you out of your post last exam stupor," said Kelley.
"Come on Mattie, let's see what we can do for this broken shell of a man," laughed Kelley.
"See if we can raise Lazarus," laughed Mattie, as she stood up, resting her hand on Randy's shoulder.
Randy just stared at Bill and said," God what is the chance of this happening! Wait, but how did she know you just finished you last exam."
"Welllll, actually, the chances were pretty damn good," laughed Bill. "There is a little something I neglected to tell you. When I went to pee earlier, I was actually calling Kelley. I invited her over and suggested that if it was at all possible, that she bring Mattie along since you were here pining away," laughed Bill.
"You shit, I thought you were gone awfully long. Crap and you told her I was pining away. I repeat you shit," said Randy.
"Well weren't you, and don't worry, I told her not to say that to Mattie, just that you would really enjoy seeing her if it was at all possible," said Bill.
"God, I should be royally pissed at you, and so, all that other shit was just to kill time till they got here, you dick," laughed Randy.
"No, No that was all real. Hell, we had to talk about something and you know me, no good at idle chatter," said Bill seriously.
"So Mattie thinks I knew she was coming. God, she must think I'm a complete dufus the way I acted when they got here," moaned Randy.
"Well not exactly, I sort of said I knew you would really enjoy seeing her but were too shy or confused to admit it," said Bill.
"So she doesn't just think I'm a dufus, she knows I'm a dufus, great," moaned Randy.
"My friend, she is here with a big smile on her face and obvious joy in her being, so stop being such a baby, get off the stick and start finding out if you may have something here instead of whining about it," said Bill as he gave Randy a hard stare. "You fuck this up, you got no one to blame but yourself," ended Bill.
Kelley and Mattie came back and Mattie slid her chair in next to Randy and Kelley hers next to Bill. The jukebox began to play Have a Little Faith in Me and Mattie said with a big smile,
"I played that one."
Ia - My god we have the whole crew back together. Obviously Deb and Jessica have exited stage right. But you bastard you will still not give up on Kelley. The only positive thing I can say about that is that I think she and Bill may deserve each other. I mean listen to that guy. He says all that stuff about lasting twelve to fifteen years, basically he goes in dooming the relationship from the start. My guess is the guy is afraid to truly trust in another person and so he sets it up to fail. He may put the caveat of needing it to last a certain amount of time for the children but listen that is not about getting closer. It is about lasting. I tell you any relationship he goes into is doomed from the start even if he does "last" twelve to fifteen years.
In - I reluctantly agree. My guess is Bill never got over his father emotionally leaving him and when push comes to shove is incapable of truly trusting anybody. But life has a way of changing people or helping them realize their true selves.
Ia - I've got time but I doubt enough for him to have some catharsis. So then, you are thinking Randy I guess, but this guy is afraid too. What is it with men. They seem to be sort of dying for these relationships and then they are too damn scared to follow through.
In - Again I agree, I've watched it a lot. I think it has to do with them getting afraid of their emotions and shutting it down before it goes somewhere they can't handle. I think that's why so many do the same thing over an over but when they get to that point, the point where they are venturing into unknown territory they freak.
Ia -Yes, then after a time they start it all over again thinking or hoping that they'll have the courage this time but still coming up short. But you know I think women do it too, shut down over the unknown. The difference I see is that that doesn't always end the relationship. Instead, they try to move the guy into their emotional comfort zone, ah but who the hell knows. Look, I know we have an agreement but aren't you maybe starting to see that I am right. I mean what would be wrong with a good Sarah Randy relationship if he did not come up with this screwball stuff in his head.
In - Absolutely nothing, but that is not what we're after here. We are trying to find out if it is possible that we are or could be moving forward to something more that indicates that there is starting to evolve a connection between here and there.
Chapter 19
The trek back to Bill's apartment had been daunting. They had been forced to leave Ed's after only a half hour. Ed had come over to their table soon after the women arrived and said,
"Sorry, folks but I have to close the place up. They are shutting down all the streets and ordering all businesses to close while people still have a chance of getting home. They say we may get over two feet of snow with three to five foot drifts. Looks like you will have to celebrate later Bill, sorry."
"Jesus Ed, this cannot be, I am a man on a mission from god. I must celebrate or die," said Bill.
"Ok, look I could sell you something to go, but you will have to carry it out into that blizzard and I can guarantee, you are not going to be driving home. I just looked out front, and there is nothing moving, not even the plows," said Ed.
"Well all, what do you say. My place is not that far and I propose we take Ed up on his offer, buy a couple cases, and head out in to our own private Yukon," laughed Bill.
"Sounds good to me," said Kelley. "I'll chip in."
"Good by me, always up for an adventure and I'll kick in too," said Mattie.
"Need you ask," laughed Randy.
"Don't need any money ladies, the night is on me and my sainted mum. So let's do it," laughed Bill.
As they left laden with the beer, they could barely push the door open. Within two minutes, Bill had fallen on his ass but carefully managed to keep the case of beer above him.
"Perhaps we should have opted for cans and not long necks," laughed Bill, as he lay back into the snow with the case of beer on his chest.
"Why don't Kelley and I wrap our arms around your chests and help you stay up," suggested Mattie.
"Yeah, and that way if we fall back, we'll have something nice and soft to land on," laughed Randy.
"Perfect, I love multi functional objects," laughed Bill. "Wait, wait, I mean multi functional women. God that's even worse, uh lets see multi …......."
"Get up and I'll just grab you and we'll see where it takes us," laughed Kelley.
"I'm not that kind of guy," deadpanned
Bill, as he got to his feet.
"That's funny, I heard you were easy and cheap," said Kelley.
"Maybe easy, but certainly not cheap," laughed Bill, as their column headed forward.
"Welcome to casa Bill. The appointments are a bit sparse but to me it is home," said Bill.
"Jesus Christ, at least we won't run out of reading material. What'd you do, rob a library," laughed Kelley.
They all removed their snow covered coats and boots, but the storm had been so fierce, they were all still completely wet.
"Look, I have a lot of dry pants, shirts and socks, so not to be weird, but I think you and Kelley would be a lot more comfortable in something dry," said Randy, as he rubbed the tops of Mattie's arms briskly.
"I'll get a bunch of stuff out and you can change in my room. Promise we won't look," continued Randy.
"God, that would be great because I am wet, wet," laughed Mattie.
"Sorry, only thing I have clean at the moment is t shirts, socks and underwear and so can't add much, oh, and a terrycloth robe my sister gave me. Actually brand new, not much of a robe person," said Bill.
"Ok, well I'm kind of small and Randy is bigger than Bill, so I think I'll go with your stuff Bill and Mattie can do Randy's since she is bigger than me," said Kelley.
Kelley was the first to emerge wrapped in the robe with a pair of heavy dark blue socks on her feet. "So what do you think, sexxxxy," she said, as she twirled into the living room and flashed open the robe to reveal a pair of plaid boxer shorts and a white t shirt.
"Hey Randy, have you got a belt or a piece of rope or something. There is no way I can keep these pants up?" yelled Mattie laughingly from Randy's room.
"Yeah, check the closet there should be one on the back of the door," said Randy.
Mattie emerged in a pair of rolled up jeans, massively oversized plaid shirt and sporting a pair of heavy white socks. "Well folks, what do you think? It's called nouveau chic appalachia. I tried to find a peace of straw to chew on," laughed Mattie.
"God, the only thing missing is a pig on a leash," laughed Bill. "It's You!"
While warmer, the spartan furnishings of Bill's apartment had not changed. Randy had left Sarah's with his clothes, some books and two old wooden chairs. The rest he had been informed was hers, despite the fact that they had bought several pieces of expensive furniture and bookcases together. In the end, Randy wanted no confrontation or to listen any longer to the description of what a low life he was, so he gladly and simply agreed with whatever Sarah said.
"Ah, we do have a couple old chairs in the kitchen," said Randy.
"Not sure where the hell you would put them," laughed Kelley, as she scrunched into the big chair with Bill and Mattie and Randy settled into the couch.
"So, let's celebrate and I have just the tune," said Bill, as he got up, carefully removed a record and placed it on the turntable.
The strains of Baby Its Cold Outside rang through the apartment. "Johnny Mercer and Margaret Whiting, the original and best version," said Bill, as he snuggled in with Kelley.
"God Bill, one of my absolute favorites," said Mattie, as she and Randy jokingly sang along holding hands, smiling and taking their respective parts, ending with a giant hug and a kiss.
They then all took turns selecting songs and getting beers from the fridge, with the girls laughing as they slid down the long hall to the kitchen in their oversized, heavy socks. Kelley was now sitting on Bill's lap with one arm around him, both talking and laughing loudly. Randy and Mattie were sitting sideways facing each other laughing and talking. Though they occasionally touched, their interaction was far more subdued than Bill and Kelley's. At some point, Randy and Mattie began dancing to the slower more sensual songs, their movement restricted severely by Bill's omnipresent stacks of books, forcing them to hold each other close and slowly move to the music.
"God great stuff," said Randy softly.
"Absolutely beautiful," whispered Mattie into his ear, as she gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.
"Well, folks, in honor of it being almost three, I am going to play one more song and head to bed before I collapse," announced Bill.
As the lyrics to Quarter to Three blared out, Bill took Kelley's hand and headed to his room yelling back to Randy, "Feel free to play more music, I am so dead I will not know it is on."
"Great, thanks Bill," said Randy.
Randy and Mattie continued to talk and were now laughing again about their night at the Essex. As the song ended, Randy got up and put a Tim Buckley album on and sat back down.
"I love Tim, his lyrics and voice are so beautiful," sighed Mattie.
Randy was lost in thought, as Tim softly sang Once I Was. Did he offer to sleep on the couch or simply take her hand and head to his bedroom or just wait until they both dozed here? They had to both be tired by now, he thought. But he knew he didn't feel tired. The excitement and joy of being with her again had overwhelmed any such feelings. He didn't want the night to end. He felt Mattie take his hand and stand up.
"What say we go in and lie down, ok. I'm feeling pretty tired," she said as she looked at him with a big smile. The reality was, she too was unsure how she was going to be able to fall asleep, but she was sure that she wanted to lie down with this man and she wanted to do it now.
Once they laid down and were snuggled up against each other like spoons, they both amazingly relaxed as Mattie held Randy's arms to her chest and they fell fast asleep.
Chapter 20
After graduation, Pat had been offered a job as an assistant in the geology department. It turned out the department had received a large grant to make positive molds and photograph their extensive and growing collection of fossils. So, they needed someone full time. For some reason the geology department at the University was made up of an odd mixture of older and younger faculty who all liked to smoke weed and enjoy themselves. To make some money, Pat had had a small part time job with them during his senior year and as a result, was a known and friendly commodity to this odd bunch. It wasn't much money, but it was enough to help him and Betsy to get by. Betsy had gone part time too and would shortly be able to graduate with the odd degree of a dual major in Philosophy and Business.
It was late afternoon, and Pat was in the darkroom using the enlarger to photograph some molds of bellerophons. The head of the department was soon to be leaving for some conference in central Europe where he was to give a presentation titled Quo Vadis Bellerophon. It was evidently a big deal that he had come up with the theory that the shell of these extinct snails faced in a different direction than had been believed. Pat laughed to himself remembering how he and Betsy had gone into one of their laughing fits over the title, putting every stupid thing they could think of after the words Quo Vadis and deciding if it would make them famous, ending with a fit of laughter over Quo Vadis Betsy and Pat. Just as he finished up the photos and turned the lights on, the door opened.
"Hey babe, thought you would never get done. I've been waiting for a half hour for the red light to go out," said Betsy.
"Sorry, had to get this stuff done. What's up?" said Pat.
"Not much, aced another business class, highest grade, through the curve off."
"Damn girl, you are good. Don't know how you do it, but keep it up and soon I will be able to retire to my life of luxury," laughed Pat.
"Nothing I would like better love, as long as it includes us both lying naked on a tropical beach somewhere," laughed Betsy, as she grabbed Pat and squeezed him to her.
"What say we kill the lights, lock the door and celebrate your brilliance," said Pat, as he grabbed Betsy's ass and pulled her against him.
"You're kidding right. I mean we don't want you to lose your job," she said, as she looked at him and ran a hand through his hair.
"Yeah, point taken, and there are a lot of chemicals around that might go flying," laughed Pat.
"We'll save it for later. I have a few more things to do and then I'll see you at home," said Pat as he ga
ve her a passionate kiss.
"Count on it," said Betsy with a smile, as she headed out the door.
Pat sat down in a chair with some negatives. His mind began to wander. He still could not believe how he and Betsy had ended up together. She called it Kismet. He didn't know what to call it, maybe dumb luck. If it hadn't been for blowing off homecoming and needing to get out of that stupid Phys ed class, they would never have met or got involved. Even then, if it had not been for the Colleen and Kelley weekend, they might both have gone their separate ways without realizing or admitting how they felt. God he thought, the incredible number of disconnected things that coalesced to bring them to where they were, it boggled his mind. He felt so god damn fortunate and in awe of how life worked.
That evening, after his call to Colleen, he had sat down with Bets and told her how he felt. It was odd, because he had felt the immediate need to apologize to her for his feelings. He had felt somehow it didn't seem fair to be saying this to her after all their talk about Kelley and Colleen, but to the core of his being he knew he had to do it. He just kept apologizing and thinking to himself, she is not going to believe me and why should she after all the other shit I have laid on her. Betsy had just sat there stunned. She said nothing for the longest time, as Pat had gotten up and nervously began pacing the kitchen and every once in a while repeating almost helplessly "I'm sorry, its not fair, I know." She finally told him to sit down, relax and "for Christ sake stop apologizing, you idiot". Betsy then stared straight into Pat's eyes and said,
