"Well, what if someone else wants it?" Addison said, touching the smooth skin. "It's so perfect."
"You got here first and you want it. Have you been listening to that Evangelical radio show again?" Chase thought Addison sounded like Lacey after yoga practice—all full of my brother, my sister, my planet speak that they all spouted. She eyed Addison suspiciously.
"No," Addison said. She didn't look at Chase. "All right. Yes. I find their dogma interesting."
"You're not going to become a Jesus freak are you?"
"Or course not. It's research." Addison stroked the pumpkin again.
"So why are you worried about your fellow man or woman wanting your pumpkin?" Chase positioned the pumpkin in the wheelbarrow so it wouldn't roll when they took it down the slight incline from the garden to the driveway. They'd have to use the dog ramp to roll it up into the Hummer.
"I'm not."
"You know, being a writer is a selfish-grab-what's-out-there kind of profession. If you want the pumpkin you got to take it."
"I want the pumpkin. I am a real writer and I'm giving you my radio until I'm cured."
"Good. Now lead on." Chase hoisted up the wheelbarrow handles and started toward the driveway.
Addison picked up the hoe and carried it over her shoulder looking a bit like a small Russian peasant of the kind Chase imagined in a Tolstoy novel.
"Chase, will you help me get my face on," Gitana said, yanking Chase abruptly from her musings in pumpkin-land. Gitana had dyed her hair green and was wearing an all orange suit. Chase was to attach the black triangle-shaped things to the Velcro patches on Gitana's stomach to make a jack-o-lantern face. Chase wanted a sinister mouth. Gitana opted for a smile. A pumpkin was the only thing they could figure out for a very pregnant lady. It was either that or Twiddle-Dee and Twiddle-Dum, but Chase refused to be Dum, it was a matter of pride. Besides, Delia and Graciela would never let her live it down. Instead, she was an Oompa Loompa.
"That looks good," Nora said, coming over to straighten out the nose.
Chase, Nora and Eliza stepped back and surveyed Gitana's stomach.
"You make a great jack-o-lantern," Nora said, giving Gitana a hug.
"What about me?" Chase said, donning her yellow rubberized wig. She had white pants puffed out at the hips by taking the pockets out, stuffing them with batten, and then sewing them on the outside of the pants and a blue T-shirt. She had thought it quite ingenious.
"Well, of course you look fine," Nora said, diplomatically. Eliza smiled and nodded.
Chase had the distinct impression she was being humored and she didn't like it.
"We better get going," Gitana said, taking Chase's arm.
"I'm not going to like the party. Delia probably has some repulsive ideas for party games, like butt darts or bobbing for cow eyeballs," Chase said as they all got in the Hummer.
She'd removed the bear and the car seat so they'd have more room. Her Oompa Loompa pants caught on the gearshift. She wrestled with it. Looking over at Gitana she could see that she was doing her best not to laugh. Nora leaned forward to see what the holdup was. Chase caught her eye. "Not a fucking word," she said.
Nora glanced at Gitana. It was too much. They laughed until tears started.
Eliza leaned forward and pulled Chase free. "Minor wardrobe malfunction."
This statement got everyone going including Eliza.
"We'll just call her Chase Jackson," Nora said, between gasps.
"This is not the least bit funny," Chase said, starting the car. She tucked her protruding pants beneath the seat belt so there wouldn't be anymore "malfunctions."
Then as a payback, she shoved the Willy Wonka CD into the player, thinking that'll teach you all to fuck with an Oompa Loompa.
In preparation for this, Gitana opened the glove box, almost hitting her head on the dash as they bumped down the dirt road from their house to the county road. She pulled out a box of twelve neon orange earplugs and handed four of them to Nora and Eliza like she was passing out gum drops.
Chase was indignant. "That's not fair."
"To use a cliche, life's not fair." Gitana inserted her earplugs and looked out the window.
"Much better," Nora said, easing back in her seat.
Chase turned it up.
Eliza leaned forward. "I don't mind it. It's kind of fun."
"Thank you, Eliza. Nora doesn't deserve you."
"What was that?" Nora screamed over the music.
"Nothing," Chase said smugly.
They pulled up in front of Delia's run-down Victorian house, which was completely out of place with the rest of the squat, square adobe houses with their neatly xeriscaped yards full of red salvia, purple sage and Spanish broom—all drought resistant plants and thus politically correct. Delia's yard was horribly overgrown with orange trumpet vines, Hawthorn and Sweet Briar Rose crawling up one side of the porch. A wisteria, unsupported so it leaned over like an old woman with osteoporosis, killed the grass beneath it. Untrimmed cypress lined one side of the yard and neglected pink, yellow and white rose bushes lined the other side. A moss-covered birdbath sat in the center of the yard with bird poop covering every inch of it.
"This place is disgusting," Chase said as they pulled up front.
Eliza looked mortified. Nora squeezed her hand.
"It's a great place for a Halloween party. Look, they even have pumpkins on the front porch," Gitana said brightly.
"This place looks like the Bate's Motel," Nora said as they got out of the car.
"All it needs is the sputtering neon sign," Chase said. Why the hell her mother had let her watch those Alfred Hitchcock movies was a mystery. Even now, she didn't like taking showers when no one was home, didn't feel safe around chef's knives and was scared shitless by large flocks of birds.
"Do not sit down on the toilet seat," Chase said.
Eliza's eyes got big. She was a neat freak.
Nora put her arm around her shoulder. "We'll go together."
As they walked up the front steps, the ruckus inside was definitely not above OSHA standards. Chase found this reassuring—maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all. Then, she got her Oompa Loompa pants caught on the door knob.
"Those pants are a hazard," Nora said.
"You actually came," Delia said. She gave her a big hug.
"They made me," Chase said, looking around for items of perversion and health hazards. There didn't appear to be any.
A young woman dressed as Dorothy of the Wizard of Oz hopped up and dashed toward Chase. "Is it really you?"
Chase stood puzzled.
"Number one fan," Delia said. "This is Donna."
"Nice to meet you," Chase said.
"You two have a chat and I'll bring you a beer," Delia said. She led the rest of them off.
"I've read absolutely everything you've written. I just love it all," Donna gushed.
"Thanks." Chase always felt uncomfortable meeting fans. One of her writing manuals had elucidated at great length about dealing with readers. How readers often created literary personas on their own and were horribly disappointed when the creators of their favorite works didn't live up to their fantasies. Not to mention, Chase was meeting an adoring fan while dressed as an Oompa Loompa. Delia better hurry up with that beer. If she'd set her up, Chase would kill her.
"Are you always that funny?" Donna dressed as Dorothy asked.
Chase stared at her dark hair in ponytails, pale skin with drawn on freckles and thought she did kind of look like Judy Garland. She could be nice and funny. It wouldn't hurt her and she'd make this woman happy. "Only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays."
Donna laughed. "You are funny."
Chase had passed the test. "Now, that I've got you here, why don't you tell me what parts of the books you thought were funny."
"Oh, I'd love to. I was hoping you might ask me so I brought notes." She pulled out a set of typewritten notes including page numbers from the basket that usually held Toto. She gave them to
Chase.
"Wow." Chase perused the notes.
"Some of the novels really require sequels. The characters are so compelling. I've made lists of all the character attributes so you wouldn't have to go back searching."
Chase quickly read through the research section. This woman was amazing. "You've done a lot of work here."
"Oh, I love it. Most people think I'm creepy."
"Are you creepy?"
Donna laughed. "No! I'm just thorough. I'm not a writer, but I love novels. I like to be part of the process. These notes are my way of doing that."
"You would be a great help to someone. It's difficult to keep everything straight and I read somewhere that some fans have kept track of things so that when a writer decides to do a sequel they have all the previous stuff."
Donna beamed. Chase was rather pleased with herself. She was being downright social.
Delia arrived with Chase's Dos Equis. "You're not pestering her." She eyed Donna.
"No," Chase and Donna said simultaneously.
Delia's surprise exploded on her face. "Really?"
"Donna would be a great asset for us. Look at this." Chase handed her Donna's notes. "She could write jacket copy and she keeps great notes."
"I do research too. I'm very good at accessing just about anything."
Delia looked skeptical. "We couldn't afford it." She sipped her beer.
Chase raised an eyebrow. She took a swig off her beer and waited.
"Gratis. I'd do it gratis," Donna said.
"Acknowledgments, free copies—you don't know what it could lead to. It would look great on your resume," Chase said.
"I'll do it," Donna fairly screeched.
Delia studied Donna's notes. "She is good. I'm sold."
"So what do you do...normally?" Chase asked, suddenly wondering how she had so much available time at her disposal.
"I'm a communication major at the U of NM, work part-time at the college radio station and I volunteer at the Literacy Project," she said brightly.
"Oh, my," Chase said, glancing at Delia who appeared in equal awe.
"I don't sleep a lot. Three hours a night, two if I'm busy working on a project. It gives me between two and three extra months in a year. I really want to be a literary agent," Donna said. She picked up Delia's empty beer bottle from where she had carelessly put in on the nearest table and deposited it in the thirty-gallon trash can standing right next to them.
"Aha! The true motive comes out," Delia said.
"I need to understand the job from the bottom up," Donna said.
"I'll sign," Chase said.
"Me, too," Delia said.
"Thanks," Donna said. She smiled big and looked at both of them with what can only be described as utter and total glee. "I better let you go. I don't want to be accused of monopolizing." She left them.
"Your group is out back," Delia told Chase.
Graciela was standing next to Gitana on the red brick patio. The backyard was just as overgrown as the front. The fence was barely visible for the yellow and orange trumpet vines. Everywhere there were pots of marigolds, zinnias and pink petunias. Chase wondered who had the stability in the house to remember to water the plants.
Graciela was dressed as a cave woman complete with a plastic wooden club. Delia kissed her on the cheek and handed her a Dos Equis, even remembering the lime stuffed in the neck of the bottle.
"That's a fitting outfit," Chase said, eyeing the fake fur dress held together at the shoulder with a white plastic bone.
"It is if you're planning on dragging a certain someone back to your cave." Graciela tucked her arm around Delia's waist which was neady accented with a pink belt that held up the slighdy ruffled tutu skirt. She looked like a ballerina who'd gone on a binge and not fared well as her slighdy askew tiara indicated.
Gitana gave Chase her best it-looks-like-someone-might-be-settling-down look.
Chase smiled and sat down next to her at the round rusted metal table that had once been white as slivers of the original paint attested. She scanned it to make sure there weren't any exposed edges. She tried to recollect whether Gitana had had a tetanus shot in the last ten years. She saw that Nora and Eliza were talking to two women, their backs turned to Chase, one dressed in a Victorian suit and the other in a smart business outfit with a short blond wig.
She watched Graciela and Delia as they fondled each other in a manner that for them was discreet. It was good her friends were settling down. For the longest time, she and Gitana were the only steady couple. Their friends were always dating or living together temporarily, planning ceremonies for life partnerships that didn't work out. Chase had stopped getting roped into being the best person at these ceremonies because she would rent a tux only to discover that the union had disintegrated shortly after the reception. She liked the food though. The way she figured it Gitana had a ring and they called it good. She liked to think there was a redemptive quality to long-term relationships and she wished her friends and relations would stick it out long enough to discover it.
"I'll be right back," Graciela said, untangling herself from Delia's embrace.
She went up to the two women Nora and Eliza were talking to. She pointed in Chase's direction and then returned to the table. "They'll be over in a minute," she said to Chase.
"Is that my mother?" Chase said, staring hard at the woman in the Victorian suit.
"Payback for this summer." Graciela gloated.
They came over.
"Oh, this is so much fun," Peggy said.
Stella glanced at Chase. "Graciela invited us," she said as if Chase needed an explanation.
"You look good with a mustache," Chase said. Her mother's hair was slicked back and dyed black. Temporary dye, Chase hoped. She didn't want her mother going from Victorian to Goth. She wore a black coat, gray trousers and a gray and black pin-striped vest with a gold chain. She'd gone to a lot of trouble, Chase noted.
Mother and daughter seemed shy with one another. It was weird, Chase thought. She could tell everyone was waiting for her reaction, including Stella. "Who are you, exacdy?"
Instead of being insulted, Stella was thrilled as if being in costume meant being in disguise. "Why, I'm Hercules Poirot."
"Agatha Christie. You do look just like him," Delia said.
"Let me get a snap," Gitana said, pulling a small digital camera from her bag.
"Who are you?" Chase asked Peggy as she linked arms with Stella and posed for Gitana. Her mother actually looked like she was having fun.
"I'm DCI Jane Tennison," Peggy told her as she smiled for the camera.
"I love that show," Delia said, bringing Gitana a paper plate of cashews, radishes, carrots, celery and Bing cherries.
"Lovely, thank you," Gitana said, taking the plate.
"Yeah, Prime Suspect, DCI Tennison is..."
Delia stopped.
Chase just knew Delia was going to say something horribly sexual.
Instead, she finished, "Smart and strong and looks fabulous in a business suit."
Chase smiled and nodded at her in relief. "I've never heard of the show."
"It's on PBS," Stella said.
Her mother watched PBS? Chase didn't know anything about this. How many other things did she not know about her mother? Did she need to sit her mother down and get her to reveal all her secrets? It was completely and totally fucking bizarre. She imagined herself as an interrogator probing the recesses of her mother's mind. She'd take notes and still she would never really know her mother. It was all back to the lexicon of memory—the splashes of scenes, the remembering of one thing—and why that one incident instead of another had made the imprint. It didn't make sense. She felt herself rather peeved. How could she not have known that her mother was also a woman called Stella—a person in her own right—like Dr. Robicheck was a therapist, a divorced woman and now dating a man she loved. It was mind-blowing. She'd have to peruse her mother's media interests and interrogate Stella's lexicon of memory,
gathering as much information as she could.
Eliza and Nora came back with plates laden with snacks. "For the group," Nora said, seemingly defensive about the heaping plate.
"And don't worry about Hantavirus. The kitchen was thoroughly disinfected," Graciela said.
"It's too late now," Gitana said as she finished the plate of snacks that Delia had brought her.
Chase was instantly mortified. She'd been so engrossed with her mother that she'd not screened Gitana's food consumption.
Family Affair Page 23
