by Bijou Hunter
Unpacking most of my clothes, I plan to spend the evening in the condo while Elle sleeps at Mom’s place. Each shirt I hang up in the oversized closet puts me in a giddy mood. By the time I dump my socks in his dresser, I’m bouncing and humming like a girl in love.
Bonn’s mood sucks in comparison. After unpacking Elle’s toys in her room, he sits on her bed for way too long. I peek in on him a few times before realizing he’s lost in his unhappy thoughts.
I’m afraid to ask a question with an answer that could break my heart. Twice, I walk to the room before chickening out. Fear has owned me for too long when it comes to Bonn, so I force myself to speak.
“Are you having second thoughts about me moving in?”
Bonn looks up from his hands and frowns. “Never. Having you here is something I’ve spent many nights dreaming of in the dark.”
“Really?” I ask, wondering if this conversation will lead to rolling around in his bed.
Bonn nods but makes no move to take our conversation to the bedroom. I feel him closed off to me and begin worrying again.
“You’re making me nervous,” I finally say when he remains quiet.
Bonn reaches over to caress my cheek. “There’s work related crap bugging me, but I don’t know if I should get into the details. Camden claims he never tells Daisy anything about club business.”
“Yes, but your right to keep me out of shit ended when you took Elle and me on a trip to biker heaven.”
“True, but I don’t want to burden you with my problems.”
“If a problem belongs to you, it’s mine too. Besides, with our history, I don’t think we ought to keep secrets.”
“My truth is ugly. While I made the decision to do bad things to make a living, why should I corrupt you with my crap?”
“Stop protecting me and explain what’s got you tied up inside.” When Bonn still hesitates, I take his hand and play the Kim card. “The last time you held your problems inside, they ate you up until you made a mistake you couldn’t undo. This time, you’ll trust me with the ugly truth, and I’ll help you through it, and we’ll face the problems together.”
“I killed a man today.”
Even suspecting his ugly truth might be like this, I still tense when he says the words. Bonn starts to pull away his hand and close himself off, but I won’t let him go. Instead, I tighten my grip on him and make him walk to the couch.
“Tell me what happened,” I say once we sit down and I snuggle closer. “Your business is ugly, but I’m no wallflower. Talk to me.”
Bonn studies my hand while running his fingers over the knuckles. “He was a dealer. The typical lowlife you think of when you imagine a meth dealer in a trailer park. Dirty and twitchy and he knew what would happen if his numbers came up short. Some people always break the rules. They’ll steal a pack of gum, just to steal. Lie about stupid stuff just to lie.”
Bonn wraps an arm around me and rests my head against his chest. “When I was a kid, I felt like I did a good job protecting myself from the losers in my life. The neighbors were drunks or addicts. They were rude and violent. Everyone around me seemed rotten, but I kept my head down and stayed untouched by their crap. Through it all, I did watch them and I learned what kind of people they were and how they saw things. The guy today was the same type of loser, and I knew he needed to go.”
“So, you did the right thing.”
“I knew if I let him pull his bullshit that other people would do the same, and that would put everyone in danger in the long run. I did what I needed to do, but I don’t feel like I expected I would. Guilty, you know?”
Bonn leans his head back on the couch. “Instead, I didn’t feel anything. It was like when I was stripping and I turned off a part of me and went through the motions. So, I’m bothered by not being bothered. Or I keep expecting it to hit me, and I get ready for the guilt or dark feelings, but they never come. What does that say about me?”
“That you know how to compartmentalize crap. It’s how you dealt with your mom. You grew up alone with a depressed and disabled drunk, yet when we met you never whined about it. That’s your strength, but it’s also your weakness. I think that’s why you didn’t know how to handle your fears about being a father. Normally, you’d shove those bad feelings away. That time, you couldn’t, so it built up until you freaked out in a stupid way. Now you know you have that weakness, and you’ll be smarter. But you also know you have the ability to do bad things to bad people without wallowing in guilt.”
“Doesn’t that make me a monster, though?”
“A monster doesn’t love like you do, Bonn. A monster would never wonder if he was a monster for not feeling guilty. So, stop worrying about being a monster. You were a damaged kid who learned to survive. A lot of kids in your situation might have grown up to be assholes, using their crappy childhoods as an excuse to treat others like shit. You didn’t. You’re a great father and you treat me like a queen. Yes, you fucked up one time, but you won’t again. We won’t let you.”
“You really believe that?” he asks, staring into my eyes.
“Right now, in this moment, I do. There will be times when I look at you and see the Bonn who hurt me, but it’ll be your job to remind me of who you are now. Just like it’s my job to help you when you get overwhelmed or need to vent. We’re a good team. That’s something I forgot all those years without you, but we complement each other. So, yes, I trust you not to fuck up. And you trust me with your work secrets. We’ll make this work because the alterative isn’t an option. We have to be together to be happy, so we’ll face whatever we need to face.”
I watch the confidence awaken in his dark eyes. I feel it inside me too. Sure, we quickly returned to hiding from each other when problems arose. Yet rather than stay in our separate corners, we dug our way through the bullshit before it destroyed us.
Fifty Eight – Ruby
Bonn wakes me up by yanking off the blankets and giving my bare ass a kiss. I gently swat him away, but his lust won’t be ignored. He lifts my left leg in the air and gives my pussy a leisurely morning kiss. There’s no denying the man knows how to wake a girl in a good mood.
By the time Daisy texts to ask if we want to join Camden and her for breakfast, I’ve worked up an appetite riding Bonn’s morning erection. We quickly shower and dress before finding Daisy and Camden making out in the hallway.
“Can we pick up Elle?” I ask, unsure if I want to spend an entire breakfast watching my sister suck on her husband’s tongue.
Daisy needs me to ask twice before she can focus on something besides Camden’s fingers playing with her hair.
“Oh, of course. I thought she was with you.”
“No, she stayed with Mom last night so we could move stuff in.”
“Uh-huh,” Camden says, walking toward the elevator. “I’m sure you worked hard last night.”
A smiling Bonn gives my ass a quick pat, but otherwise ignores his cousin’s teasing. We take two cars so we can move more boxes after breakfast. Even though Camden and Daisy leave first, Bonn gets us to Lush Gardens before them.
“Tonight will be the first time the three of us sleep at the condo,” he says, reaching for my hand. “That’s been a long-time dream for me. In fact, when I had a shit day or a grabby group of women while dancing, I would pretend you and Chevelle were in the condo with me. I’d imagine I tucked Chevelle in her bed and talked about school the next day. Then I’d spend time with you before we went to bed. We’d talk about work, though in my head you were bartending again. By the time I’d imagine us in bed, I was relaxed and ready to sleep.”
“That’s the sweetest shit I’ve ever heard,” I say, kissing his hand. “Funny enough, when I was tense, I would imagine you and me meeting in random places to have sex. We did it at the laundromat, Chevelle’s school, at Sears. Oh, once we did it on the floor of the Boogie Bowl while people danced around us.”
Bonn’s expression is unreadable for a moment. Then he adjusts his cock in his pant
s and shakes his head.
“You and I will continue this conversation later.”
Smiling at the lust I see in his eyes, I’d love to work out some of his hunger in the back seat. Unfortunately, my horny sister and her horny husband arrive to interrupt our horniness.
“Bummer,” I mutter before reaching over and giving the thick lump in Bonn’s pants a quick squeeze.
Now laughing at his expression, I hurry out of the SUV and join Daisy before Bonn can punish me for the raging hard-on in his too tight pants.
“I know the feeling,” Camden says upon seeing Bonn messing with his pants.
Daisy gives me a triumphant smile before we walk from the park’s lot to Mom’s trailer.
“Now that we can double date,” Camden says from behind us, “we ought to try out that oyster bar in Nashville. We might need to reserve two local hotel rooms just in case the urge overwhelms us and we can’t make it home.”
“Ew,” Daisy whispers over her shoulder.
“Being in love never means having to say ‘ew,’ Bourbon Babe.”
“I don’t think that’s true.”
“I bet Ruby wouldn’t mind Bonn going wild on oysters and whiskey.”
Before I can respond, my attention is drawn to Harmony’s trailer where the front door jiggles. We all stare at where the knob turns, but the door doesn’t open. I am ready to ask Bonn and Camden to use their scary maleness to find out what’s happening. Instead, the door pops open and Dayton stumbles backward down the steps.
My breath catches and Daisy grips my hand in surprise as we watch Dayton stare up into the trailer. A moment later, Harmony appears to tell him to be quiet. Her gaze leaves his face long enough to notice us watching them.
“So much for keeping things on the down low,” she mutters and then pushes him off her stoop. “Go away.”
Dayton frowns as she shuts the door. Only after she locks it does he notice we’re staring at him.
“She had a plumbing issue,” he says, shrugging while fumbling with his shades.
“Is that what we’re calling it now?” Camden asks.
Dayton shrugs again and walks past us. “Perverts think perverted shit.”
Camden laughs first, followed by Bonn. The men look ready to chase after him and get the inside info. Maybe they figure Harmony will give up details easier because they don’t follow Dayton.
Daisy and I hurry to Harmony’s door. We knock twice before she answers as if surprised by visitors.
“What?”
“Save the shit,” I tell her while pushing my way into the trailer. “Why was Dayton here?”
“I was sad and drunk and he was handsome and drunk. Let’s not make anything of it.”
Daisy opens her mouth to make something of it, but Harmony’s expression shuts her up.
“Okay. Don’t be so grumpy,” Daisy says rather than going with the teasing she likely planned. “Want to join us for breakfast at IHOP?”
“Is Elle going? Can I bring Keanu?”
“Of course. We were heading to Mom’s to pick up Elle. Get dressed and come along.”
I know we won’t get the specifics of Harmony’s night with Dayton until she’s worked them out herself. My youngest sister does things first and worries about the consequences afterward. Dayton ending up in her place overnight probably surprised her more than anyone.
Elle is wide-awake when we arrive at Sally’s trailer. Keanu looks sleepier, but he gets his butt in gear once he knows he’s heading out for breakfast. Soon, the seven of us gorge ourselves on pancakes while avoiding questions about Harmony’s oops with Dayton.
For me, it’s a perfect way to celebrate my last day living at Lush Gardens Trailer Park.
Fifty Nine - Bonn
My office is located between a nail salon and used clothes store. My guys and I work on renovating the backroom and installing hidden compartments in the walls. We’ve finished with most of the work when the door’s front bell rings and I peer around the corner to find my boss checking in on me.
In typical asshole fashion, Hayes doesn’t call ahead. I like that quality about him. He knows to never give anyone a heads-up. I do the same with the dealers in Common Bend. Show up randomly and say hi to keep them on their toes.
“Need something?” I ask, walking out to him.
“Are you having Ruby play assistant?”
“No, she already has a job. I hired a local girl with actual experience.”
“Was that a fucking dig at my wife?” Hayes growls, once again challenging me.
“How do you mean?”
Hayes considers pushing the subject and I wait for his next grumbly fuck you. Rather than play, he walks past me to where the guys work. Hayes gives the backroom a once over and then walks back to the front door.
“Kill anyone yet?” he asks.
“Sure did. Want the gory details?”
“No, champ.”
I smile at his comment while scanning the road outside “A dealer skimmed money off what he owned you. He also used half of his allotted product to throw a party for him and his friends. He seemed like a good candidate for me to use to scare the others.”
Hayes follows my gaze and stares at the empty street. “Why this location?”
“It’s close to the three locations where most of our distributors work. I wanted them to see me whenever they drove to the store or out to eat.”
“You seem to have everything in order.”
“I do.”
“Can you see my fucking hesitation with trusting a former stripper with a multi-million-dollar investment?”
“If you want to micromanage, I can set up another desk here for you.”
“Funny, asshole,” he mutters, glaring at a passing man outside.
“Look, I’ve got things handled here, and I have Candy on speed dial. Anything else you want to know or see?”
“You’re a smug fucker.”
“It’s better than being a stripper, wouldn’t you agree?”
Hayes gives me a hard nod. “Tell me something, retired stripper. Was that the first person you’ve killed?”
“Yeah. Not a lot of killing opportunities in my old line of work.”
“No, I wouldn’t figure there would be,” he says, crossing his massive arms. “So how did it feel?”
I think about the gun in my hand when I made a visit to the guy’s trailer. Rather than have him beg or try to change my mind, I shot him before he knew why I was there. Everything happened so quickly from entering his place to firing the weapon to wrapping his body and disposing of it deep in the woods. The entire thing felt like a movie I was watching rather than a murder I orchestrated.
“I did what I needed to do to make a good life for my family. Anyone who interferes with their future needs to be eliminated. I don’t have to enjoy it, but it needs to be done.”
“From my experience, a man who enjoys killing won’t take orders. Good to know you don’t have a taste for it.”
We share a moment of silence where we think about the lives we lead. The man I killed was someone’s son. He also probably stole from his parents more than once over his life. Was killing him okay because he was an asshole?
Not in the normal world, but I wasn’t playing by those rules anymore. The guy I killed wasn’t any different than Hayes and me. He lived by the same rules. Breaking them, he chose to suffer the consequences. I didn’t plan to follow his example. I’ll be the most straight-laced criminal this area has ever seen. Hopefully, I’ll live a long life doing what I once thought impossible for a nice guy like me.
Epilogue - Ruby
The first night we spend as a family in the condo, I start crying and can’t stop for hours. I promise Elle that my tears are from lady issues. She looks at me with concern since she’ll be a lady one day. I hug her tightly while we pray her hormonal crap takes a long time to kick in. I’d be happy if she were eighteen before she got her period.
Though I cry, I love living in the condo with Bonn. The
place is beautiful, and every inch reminds me of him. Sitting on the soft leather couch with Elle on one side and Bonn on the other, I don’t know if I’ve ever been happier. The tears are cathartic, helping me say goodbye to my safety blanket of the trailer park.
By the next day, I am completely on board with our new life. Waking up next to Bonn puts me in an amazing mood. We enjoy breakfast together with Elle before I drive her to school and head to the restaurant to check on the building progress.
La Famiglia will be open within a month, and I am still thinking up a million ways to make it more family-friendly. So far, the Hallsteads love my ideas and now rely on me more than Sally who still can’t take the plunge by quitting her current job. Taking charge, I choose chalkboard paint for the walls and relaxing Rockabye Baby covers of rock songs to play over the intercom.
The only time I hit a wall is working on the website. The Hallsteads pay for a web designer, and suddenly I’m back to the idea woman while someone else does the heavy lifting.
Sally finally quits her job a week before our launch. I’ve already hired and trained staff while Chef Aaron has our menu down to an art. The plan is for me to open the restaurant and Mom to close. We have a few managers-in-training to pick up the hours we can’t be there. Everything is falling into place. In fact, Aaron and I already consider adding catering to the business in six months.
Whenever work is stressful, I remind myself of home. Not in Lush Gardens but at the condo with Bonn and Elle. We fit together so perfectly as a family that I can’t believe we ever survived apart.
I still fear someone will hurt Bonn. He’s such a sweet guy with us that I have trouble thinking of him scaring anyone. He must be doing something right because Common Bend’s flare-ups quiet until it’s nearly as calm as White Horse.
Though Bonn doesn’t want Elle and me visiting his office in Common Bend, we occasionally join him on trips to see Hayes in White Horse. Those visits are fun because we’ll also go to the mall afterward. The downside is Elle somehow becomes tight with Candy’s twins, Cricket and Chipper. Now I’m stuck with having regular playdates with a woman I don’t want to be friends with and who makes very clear she doesn’t want to be friends with anyone. Then fate intervenes when our pregnancies line up. She is miserable with Hayes’s monster-sized baby while I end up on bed rest for high blood pressure. We talk all day, competing over which one of us is the most miserable. I never win, but I still like playing.
