by T. C. Edge
But, I want more.
The sound of wild applause fills the room, Lilly's hands clapping together and lips splitting into a wide smile. I take a dramatic bow, shuffling my feet as I do so. Looking down, I notice that the carpet beneath me is scorched quite badly where my feet were planted.
"Oh..." I say. "Shit."
I look up to find Lilly's face stricken. Her hands stop in their applause and hang, almost comedically, in midair. She begins breathing heavily, as if she's about to have a panic attack.
"Lil, calm down," I say. "Don't worry, it's my fault. Trust me, I've done a lot worse since I've been here..."
My words don't appear to have an impact. Before I can go and comfort her, she's rushing forward towards me, dropping to her knees, and hurriedly inspecting the burns in a vain attempt to see if they can be covered or patched up somehow.
"Lil, it's fine. Don't worry."
She continues to rush about, frantic, before the door knocks suddenly. From beyond, the soft voice of Lady Felina sounds.
"Is everything OK in there?" she asks, perhaps alerted to the commotion by one of her other attendants.
Lilly's eyes near pop out of her head.
"Um...just fine," I call. "Nothing to worry about..."
"Are you certain? I'm coming in, OK..."
Before I can deny her, the door is opening and she's stepping into what's probably a quite unexpected scene: Lilly, all but bowing at my feet; me, awkwardly attempting to plant my soles back down in the exact spots where I scorched the carpet.
I learn, in that moment, two things. Firstly, Lady Felina isn't easily tricked. Second, she doesn't take things too seriously.
Regarding the scene for a few moments, I see her expression morph into one of great amusement. She shakes her head, then breaks out into a tuneful burst of laughter.
"Now what have you two been up to?" she chuckles.
"Nothing, Mistress," comes Lilly's voice, throttled by nerves. "I...we were..."
"You were having a great load of fun, by the looks of things," says Felina, stepping in to get a better look at us. "A valiant attempt, Amber, to 'cover your tracks', quite literally in this case. Such prints are a common side-effect of life as a Fire-Blood, I'm sure." She laughs at her own joke, before stepping in and pressing us aside. Her eyes fall to the carpet. "A shame. I did like this carpet. But seeing you two reunited is far more important to me."
"I am really sorry, Felina," I say. "I was just showing Lilly how my robes change colour. I wasn't really thinking."
"Oh yes you were. You were thinking of making your sister happy. That's of a higher priority than worrying about a silly old carpet, beautiful though it is. But, since you've pretty much ruined it, why don't you go ahead and give me a display as well. I've always enjoyed seeing the robes of Fire-Bloods changing their hue."
She moves off at that, waving Lilly over to join her. My sister, silent, scurries off at the command, and takes a seat beside her new mistress at Felina's request. Felina picks up her wine glass once more and, to my great surprise, even offers Lilly a small cup of her own.
"How old are you again, child?" she asks.
"Fourteen, Lady Felina," Lilly says.
"Ah, the age I was when I started" Felina looks up at me. "That doesn't sound good, does it," she grins. "Are you OK with Lilly having a tipple?"
I shrug. "Fine by me. My sister could do with some loosening up."
Lilly manages a slight scowl at that. Felina just laughs loudly.
"Now," she says, handing Lilly a small cup and keeping her eyes on me, "if you don't mind, Amber, would you give us a quick display? I'm not suggesting you're a trained jester or anything, but...well, you did just ruin my favourite, beloved carpet."
She winks and settles back. Lilly, sitting upright, looks like she has no idea what to do with herself, or her wine. She holds it in her hands on her lap as if it's a wild animal, about to bite.
Felina reaches over, raising the cup to her lips. "There you go, dear. That's how it's done." She looks back to me. "Please, the floor is yours."
I set about entertaining the both of them for a good few minutes, rather enjoying the opportunity to play around with my new powers, bond with Felina, and help Lilly loosen up at the same time. Before long, the carpet is marked by several other scorch marks, and my two spectators are beaming at the display.
"I think I've destroyed your carpet enough," I say, regarding the damage. "I'd rather not set fire to the entire apartment."
"True true," Felina says. "And a fine display, Amber. Just the tip of the iceberg, I imagine."
I nod. The very tip, yes.
"What about you?" I ask. "You going to show us what you can do?"
Felina smiles at the challenge. "Well, my gifts aren't quite so pyrotechnic. They're not great as an observer sport like yours are. Best I can do is an eye-test, I suppose. When I concentrate, I can see the finest details here in this room, and beyond."
"Can you see up the hill?" asks Lilly, breaking her silence, clearly relaxed by both the few sips of wine she's had, and the casual environment Felina has engendered. "I mean, through the clouds?"
"Alas, no," says Felina wistfully. "Those clouds are impenetrable to my eyes. But when they clear, oh, it's wonderful."
I move in, interested, and take a seat beside Lilly on the sofa. "Can you see the faces of the Prime clearly?" I ask. "Yesterday, for example. Could you see them?"
"Oh yes," Felina says. "I see their perfection. As I told you, Amber, I may not have met them, but I've gotten closer than most others."
I nod, envious of her. To be able to look upon their faces with that clarity every time the clouds clear, and they appear for some grand occasion. I'd give up a lot for that.
"I saw you too," Felina says. I look back up to her. "I saw your face so clearly yesterday. You and the others. I knew, long before the announcement was made, that Elian had been Chosen. Your faces were so...so very different." She looks at me softly. "I'm so sorry, Amber, but all is not lost. You see, your failure has opened other doors. You get to spend more time with Lilly now. And, better than that, you get to spend time with me."
She grins broadly again, causing Lilly to chuckle lightly. "You have a sweet laugh, child," she says to my sister. "I do hope to hear it often here."
"Yes, my Lady," says Lilly, bowing.
She smiles down at her, and I smile too. And for the next hour, we sit, and talk, and bond together. And all the while, that lingering disappointment continues to hover. Held back as I see my sister, but ready to blossom once more when I find myself alone.
And that night, so it does.
49
The days that follow suck the life from me. I return to my lavish apartment accompanied by Marlow, my mind distracted, my desires calling for solitude.
I should feel happy, delighted even, to see Lilly so well set up. To see her happy, her dreams fulfilled, warped as I always thought them to be. To see that Lady Felina is such a joy, so kind in nature, and so determined to improve the lives of the Worthies in the city. She spoke of those among the Children of the Prime who appeared to be campaigning for better lives for those Worthies who suffer. It sounds to me as though many, a great many, perhaps, are not the conceited, superior beings I first thought them all to be.
Yet, despite all that good news, when I leave Lilly's company I feel strangely lost. Yes, I will see her again soon - very soon, perhaps, if I wish it - but it isn't really that. It's the simple fact that, now, my mind can wander. It can brew. It can lead me towards the balcony in my bedchambers, demand that I stare up at the summit of the city, at the clouds, at the temple hidden within them. Stare, endlessly, praying for a glimpse of the Prime once more.
I spend the night there after returning home. I dismiss Marlow, and just sit and stare. I feel the obsession taking hold, but can do nothing to deny it. It's as though there's someone clinging to me, one hand on my neck, the other on the top of my head, guiding my eyes to the clouds above. An invisible
force that won't let me rest, won't let me leave, that demands every moment of my waking energy.
And when I sleep, I do so only through exhaustion and need. I slip to my bed and lie on my side, the curtains open, the moonlight shining in. I fall asleep staring at the same spot. If ever I wake to find that I've turned away in my slumber, I quickly spin back around in an odd panic, and feel the immediate relief spread through me as I see that distant shadow of the mountain once again.
It isn't healthy, I know that, but there seems nothing I can do about it. I take solace in the fact that all who meet the Prime go through this. That all who look upon them understand this obsession more than the rest. And I begin to understand, too, why so few are ever allowed to see them, speak with them face to face. Were too many more to do so, policing their desires would become too difficult. They'd eventually storm the summit together, unable to control their desperate need to feel that euphoria once more.
I muse in my hours alone on this power of theirs, this feeling they inspire. I imagine that it must be the very reason why they grew to rule these people, build this city, force so many others to do their will, serve their desires. And though I've met many people, now, who display great power, I've never felt anything like what I experienced when meeting them.
No, this isn't a city of gods. These people are not deities, not really. But the Prime...that is a different matter. There is something truly divine about them.
My lonely vigil extends into the following day. I get no visitors, except that of Marlow, ever on site and tending to my needs. Mostly, that involves bringing me food and drink. Coffee, such a rare commodity on the Fringe, is now readily available whenever I desire it. It makes me think of Jude, so I choose not to partake.
I don't partake in much of anything, truth be told. Though all sorts of food I've ever been denied are now available, I have no stomach for them. I eat idly, only to satisfy my appetite. I indulge in some wine in the evenings but not much. I think endlessly, though rarely with much clarity. Lilly and Jude, my grandmother, and parents, my home near Pine Lake, the people of the Fringe. All enter my mind but don't linger. My thoughts are ever drawn back to the single thing that now dominates them.
I ruminate for hours on what I might have done differently, how I might have performed better. I begin to grow bitter, cursing the world for placing me here. I feel no true joy at all these gifts being bestowed upon me. I begin to fall into a darkness that closes in around me, from which I fear I may never break free.
No, it must be temporary, I think, growing desperate. It will pass soon. It will pass and I will learn to live with it, to accept it, to be satisfied with the glimpse I was given. It was an honour few ever receive...
I should be happy with that.
It is the third day when Marlow suggests I go outside and take a walk. He enters my room in the late morning, knocking tentatively, entering with a smile. The exchange is enough to wipe the smile away quite quickly.
"No, I'm not going anywhere," I snap. I don't know why I snap. I don't like that I snap. But, regardless, I do snap.
"I just thought..."
"What? What did you think?"
He takes a short step back, withdrawing towards the door. "Only that, some fresh air might do you some good, my Lady. I could arrange for you to be shown some more of the city. You...you enjoyed that before, didn't you? Seeing the north, around the Temple of Fire."
"I'm not going anywhere," I grunt, turning my eyes back out of the nearest window. "I can see the city from here. There's plenty of fresh air here."
"But..."
"But what, Marlow? What do you want?!"
"Nothing, my Lady. Nothing but to serve you."
His words draw a twinge of guilt. "You are serving me," I say after a pause. "But realise when I want to be alone."
He nods. "Of course, my Lady. If that is what you wish."
He starts to withdraw. The guilt inside me grows a little stronger. I prepare an apology, but he turns before I can utter it.
"Oh, one last thing. I have received word from Lady Felina. She's invited you to lunch tomorrow. I believe your sister will be there as well. Um, what should I say? Will you be...well to attend?"
"Yes," I say immediately, drawing a breath. I feel some of the strange shroud around me dispel. "Of course, yes. I'd love to go."
He smiles. "Excellent. I shall inform them immediately. Do tell me if you need anything more from me today. I will get to selecting some young Worthies for you to choose for your household. They're more suited to this sort of work than I am."
"Right, of course. And er...sorry, Marlow. Sorry if I'm being a bit of a bitch. I'm just...going through some stuff."
"No apology necessary. I am here to make life easier for you. I hate that I'd ever be considered an annoyance or..."
"You're not an annoyance," I assure him. "This isn't about you at all."
"Yes, I understand. I have heard of such reactions before upon meeting the Prime. It isn't unheard of."
"You have?"
"Of course. And you suffered a great disappointment as well. You are well within your rights to spend some time alone, in lamentation. It's only natural. But it will pass, I'm sure."
"I hope so," I say.
"Have faith, Lady Amber. Something brought you to this city. Many, myself among them, would call your arrival here fate. It was prophesied, after all. We can't know what else is in store for you."
He leaves me with that, the load on my back feeling a little lighter. I return to the balcony, to my thoughts, to my solitary vigil.
To my addiction.
And there, I mull on his words. Words that make sense to me, that line up with everything else I've been through. Maybe there is something more here for me. Maybe I should trust in that, in that word that fools use when committing to blind faith.
Destiny.
And that night, destiny comes calling.
It's almost pitch black in my room, the clouds gathering below the moon, the stars, blotting them out. My eyes creak open, the shape of the window hardly visible ahead of me. That familiar panic rushes into me, waking me quickly. I sit up, blinking, and stare out towards the darkness. Suddenly, the clouds move off, blown away on the winds, and the moonlight shines back down.
The Hill of Olympus, just a silhouette in the night sky, comes briefly into view. The clouds seem to part fully for a moment, the celestial light above flowing down, illuminating it in all its glory. I see the Sacred Steps rising to the summit, the plateau at the top. And there, the hint of something brighter. A dazzling white radiance lights up, split between two sources.
I gasp, standing, and rush out onto the balcony, planting my hands on the edge, staring out. I gaze out for a single, glorious, second before the clouds sweep back over, and the light disappears once more.
I find that my eyes are watering, my heart racing. Was it them, I wonder? Was it really them?
I stand for a second longer, hoping for another glimpse, but nothing comes. A cool chill of air rushes in, wrapping me up, my body shivering. Seeking the warmth of the bedchamber, I turn and move back towards my bed.
I stop in place.
A shadow stands near the door. A silhouette in the shape of a man.
My heart rattles with a sudden trepidation, before, suddenly, the room lights up bright.
I shield my eyes, lifting a hand to my face, peeking through my fingers. And slowly, through the gap, I begin to make out a tall figure, hand hovering on the light switch, lips cast into a smile.
The Overseer stands before me, regally dressed as always, observing me in his usual manner.
"Good morning, Amber," he says. "Apologies for the strangeness of the hour."
I gather my wits, frowning, and lower my hand.
"What...what time is it?" I croak, rubbing the dew from my eyes.
"Very late. Or very early, depending on how you look at it," he says. "Enough, either way, for the city to be sleeping."
I glance back out towa
rds the large balcony. The bright light inside the room now gives view to nothing but a blackness beyond.
"I saw," I whisper. "I thought I saw..."
"Trust what you saw, Amber," the Overseer says. I turn back towards him. "We are not the only two waking right now." He steps forward, smiling, eyes turning around the room. "It appears you've settled in well. Rather too well, perhaps." He looks towards the mess I've created over my days here, locked away alone.
"I..."
"Is High Worthy Marlow not keeping this household in order?" he asks. "This is not an acceptable way to live."
"No, he's doing everything he can," I say. "It's my fault. I...I'm a bit of a slob, I guess."
"So it would seem. Something to work on, Amber."
I nod, utterly confused by his sudden presence in my room at this late hour. The man has a habit of sneaking up on people, sure, but this is taking it to the next level. "Um, forgive me for asking, but what exactly are you doing here?"
He raises a brow, eyes still turning around the room, nostrils flaring a little at the smell, which probably isn't great. "Where are your Fire-Blood robes?" he asks.
I look about, trying to remember where I put them. I took them off after seeing Lilly and Lady Felina several days back, choosing to dress in some more 'homely' attire since. Mostly, that's been the nightgown I'm wearing now. It could do with a wash.
"Oh, there they are," the Overseer goes on, moving to a bundle of clothes upon a chair. He extracts the crimson robes, brushes them off, and steps over to me, reaching out. "Go ahead, get dressed. I'll wait for you outside."
"Why? What's going on?"
He looks towards the balcony, smile lifting.
"Oh, they're awake all right, Amber. And they're waiting for you." He moves towards the door. "Quick now. They do not like to be kept waiting."
50
As I stand at the foot of the Sacred Steps, gazing up to the clouds above, I think I must be dreaming. My Fire-Blood robes gleam in the faint moonlight, shimmering a little brighter than normal. I gaze up the steps, excited, nervous, confused.
