by Smith, S. E.
Aliette stared at him a long moment, blinking. Her sleepy brain probably wasn’t functioning at full speed yet. Her nostrils flared as she raked her gaze up and down his face. “Are you kidding me?” she spat.
But she didn't hang up. Small mercies. Small hope. Zandro clasped his hands together in front of his face, his nerves jangling. There was no Plan B if she said no. “Allie, you know I wouldn't call you if there was anyone else. You know that.”
She snorted. “Gee thanks.”
“You know what I mean. But there are two kittens—”
Her shoulders rolled down in what might’ve been resignation. “Of course there are.” For the first time, she sounded more mad than sad. “Zandro, you can't save the whole world.”
“I can try.” He swallowed. “It sounds like newborns, and the sheriff station who have them don't know the proper procedures. They don't have the proper equipment. If I don't get there fast it won't just be two dead kittens. It might a be a dead moon.”
“You suck, Zandro.” She sighed gustily and glared at him. “Meet me at the dock in fifteen minutes. You’re lucky I was visiting my mom this week.”
“You’re here? You’ve been here?”
She threw her hands up in the air. “Yeah, Zandro. About a week. What’s it to you?”
A week. It hurt more than it should’ve that she hadn’t tried to contact him. Why should she have told him she’d be on planet? He’d given up that right years ago. He cleared his throat. “Right. Sorry.”
“Fifteen. Minutes.” With a final, grumpy grunt, she hung up her line and the vid pick-up winked out.
His own reflection stared back at him out of a dead black screen. What had he been thinking of to call Aliette? What a singularly stupid thing to do to himself. He was just asking for pain.
Fifteen minutes. He needed to get going. With a situation like this, every minute counted. He needed to get to that moon otherwise he would’ve called Aliette for nothing.
Nothing but the joy of hearing how much she hated him. He shook himself and fumbled into his pants. Worry about the cats, Zandro. The kittens he could maybe save. After all this time, he knew there was no saving his relationship with Aliette.
* * *
Zandro Casillas. Who’d a thought it?
As soon as Aliette cut the call with him she flopped into her bunk and tossed an arm over her eyes. Why had she said yes? What on earth had she been thinking? She didn’t owe Zandro anything. He’d already chosen his cats over her all those years ago. She didn’t have to make herself into his errand girl now when they weren’t even together.
She rolled onto her belly and rested her cheek against her arms. Her gut was fluttering at just the thought of seeing him. Maybe that’s why I said yes?
Because no one was like Zandro. At least not for her. She’d visited her mom several times since they’d broken up and managed to resist the urge to call him. Now, with one simple yes, it felt like she was risking years of work getting over him.
“Ugh.” She shoved herself upright and crawled off her bunk. He’d be here any minute, and she didn’t want to look like something pried out of the garbage disposal. She threw her coveralls on in record time then brushed her long hair and pulled it back into a braid. He’d always liked her hair down, so she ruthlessly scraped her hair back and up. She didn’t do anything to please Zandro anymore.
Except help him with his stupid bajo rescue work.
But she could chalk that up to simple charity, couldn’t she? It could just mean she was a good person helping rescue kittens. It didn’t have to mean…anything else.
She had her toothbrush in her mouth when her ship chimed a proximity warning and her com unit chirped with a message. Aliette rinsed and spit, and was pissed at herself to find her hands shaking when she went to put her toothbrush away. “Really?” She growled exasperation and took a long, slow breath. “It’s just Zandro.”
But her heart was hammering in her ribs as she jogged from the crew quarters to the entry ramp and keyed it open to let him inside. A beam from the lamps on the landing pad arced across the floor as the door tilted open, and Zandro stood silhouetted by the light, haloed like some sun king of old.
He was just as gorgeous as she remembered. Dammit. Tall and broad-shouldered, with a honey gold tan to his skin and silky dark hair grown longer than it used to be. Her fingers itched remembering how soft his hair had been, and how lovely the weight of his body curled around hers had been.
He smiled when he saw her, a flash of white against his dark skin. “Aliette.”
Her chest ached seeing his easy smile, hearing her name on his lips. I missed you. She shook her head and swallowed the words down.
Zandro scrubbed his fingers through his hair, looking nervous as he avoided eye contact. “Thank you for agreeing to do this, Aliette. I need to get to those kittens, and I can’t wait for the ferry. They don’t even start running ships until mid-morning.”
“Yeah. Well.” She twisted her fingers together and just looked at him, deeply unsettled, deeply uncertain.
Zandro waited a moment then cleared his throat. “Ah, permission to board, captain?”
“Right. Sorry.” She stumbled back a step and hugged her arms around herself as he passed. He had his “go bag” with him. It contained all the supplies he’d need to care for the kittens and tucked up under his other arm was a clear plastic container with no lid where he’d keep the cats while they were on board.
“You’ll keep them away from me?” She swallowed, her blood firing with anger and a little bit of fear. “I don’t have a patch anymore, and I don’t fancy spending the next several days high and barfing. I can’t be around your damn cats.”
“I brought a patch for you. I always make sure I have an extra. Now.” His voice sounded soft, contrite.
“I must be crazy. I can’t believe I agreed to this.” The sight of his kitten bag had triggered something primal inside her, like pulling a cork from a bottle. Memories assaulted her of the last time she’d been around his rescue work. A big tomcat bajo had attacked her. Clawed her back up and set her off on a three-day drug trip that nearly killed her. Zandro had had to tie her down, give her a mouth guard. It had been painful, traumatizing. Humiliating. Aliette retreated from him and hugged herself. “I should throw you off my ship.”
He hung his head, his jaw clenching. “I’m sorry, Aliette. I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t have asked if there’d been any other option. I know this isn’t fair to you. But please: I need your help. I’ll be careful with the kittens, I promise. You won’t even know we’re here.”
The problem was she knew just how dire the situation with the kittens was. Not just for the animals, but for everyone around them. Bajo cats needed to be handled by people who knew what they were doing, and it was perilous to be around them for too long if you didn’t. She had the scars on her back to prove that. She wouldn’t, couldn’t let that happen to someone else. Aliette scrubbed her hands over her face and glared at Zandro. “Crew quarters are the same as ever. I’ll be in the cockpit.” Nerves jittery, heart aching, she wheeled on her heel and stormed away from him. I knew I shouldn’t have answered his call.
* * *
So his reunion with Aliette could’ve gone better. She’d braced herself to have the kittens onboard, but confronting him and his go bag had probably brought bad memories back for her.
Zandro sighed and hiked to the back of the ship. Fortunately, there were two crew cabins so Aliette wouldn’t have to share with him and the bajo cats.
Unable to help himself, Zandro peeked his head inside Aliette’s room and was a little pleased to see not much had changed. The small cabin was still mostly occupied by her giant bed. Aliette had always said if she had to choose between floor space and mattress she’d choose the mattress. And he’d definitely had cause in the past to appreciate that preference.
His stomach clenched staring down at the big expanse of mattress and rumpled bedding. They’d had good times in that room, on that
bed. Some of the best of his life. I miss her.
He shook the thought away, closed her door with a click, and crossed to the empty crew cabin. He didn’t have the right to miss her, didn’t have the right to ask or even want anything from her beyond this emergency imposition. He’d disappointed her too much, hurt her too much, to try and open that door again. No matter how much he wished he could.
The crew cabins on her ship were cramped with a bunk bed bolted to one corner and a set of drawers opposite. Tight quarters for two humans to share, but not too bad for him and the cats. He closed the door behind him with a click. Ari from the sheriff’s office had finally sent over some pictures of the two kittens. He wanted to get a rough guess on their ages before he got there. Made mixing the formula easier.
He was pleasantly surprised to see the kittens already had their eyes open which meant they were about four weeks old. They’d still need a lot of care, but they were probably sturdier than newborns without their mother.
The kittens were a little blue and a purple. The blue was a puff ball with silky fur of a startling electric blue. His tufted ears were tipped with a darker blue and his hide was spotted with paler blue spots. The purple was smaller, fluffier, and more purple-blue in color, with darker spots and a white belly. Both cats had eyes of bright gold like old-fashioned coins shining out of their faces. The kittens were dirty for sure and looked a little thin, but they seemed alert in the pictures as they crawled over a deputy’s lap and—unfortunately—bare hands.
Zandro closed his com unit and started getting his plastic container ready for its eventual tenants. The problem with Bajo cats was they were just too beautiful. And with their enhanced abilities that made them even more desirable. So they were being poached on all sides. For their fur. For their pheromones. For the pet trade. Basically any and everything the bajo cats were and did made them appealing to folks.
Which is part of what made being a bajo cat rescuer such a pain. How were you supposed to rescue something that was in peril from so many different angles? If there were only one angle of attack maybe there would be a place to target. Go after the pet trade. Go after the drug dealers. Go after the idiot ladies who wanted pretty fur coats. But all of them at once…ALL OF THEM AT ONCE? Impossible. All Zandro had to his name was a few heating pads, some old blankets, and a mountain of donated cat food. All he had were 200 million followers on three social media sites. He could turn public opinion and try to educate, but he couldn't win this war on his own.
Maybe he should have switched to regular kittens. Regular kittens needed help too. But so few people were qualified to help bajo kittens. So few people were authorized to have the dampening patch. If he gave up that meant fewer animals would be saved. He had to keep at it. He had to keep fighting.
Even if it was tough on relationships. How was he supposed to bring someone into his life when there was a chance that angry drug dealers were going to bash his door down, bash his head in and steal his kittens?
With all the crap he had to deal with—literal and figurative—as a bajo cat rescuer it probably was just going to be him and his cats. Forever.
He dug through his bag for the patch he’d promised Aliette. After years of working with bajo cats, he’d developed immunity to their pheromones and gradually been able to wean himself off the dampening patches. It was a real boon not to have worry about their pheromones, but it did sometimes make him forget that others weren’t that lucky.
As he started down the hallway, the ship began to hum around him in the familiar rhythm of the power up sequence. He made his way down the hallway, padded with faded gray shock foam, and paused in the cockpit doorway. The sky was turning pink with the coming dawn, but it was still dim outside. Aliette’s coppery red hair gleamed in the cockpit lights as she toggled switches and checked readouts, prepping her ship for takeoff.
“Were you going to warn me before you took off?” he asked, teasing. “Give me a chance to strap in?”
Aliette snorted and didn’t glance over her shoulder. “I wasn’t trying to murder you with a rough ride, Zandro. I got a nice delivery bonus from one of my clients and bought the upgrade to those vertical boosters. It makes for a much smoother ride.” He heard the pride in her voice, and there was just an edge of bite in the words too. I did this, she seemed to say. I made all this without you.
He tried not to let it hurt. He wanted only good things for her, after all. Only happiness. “That’s great, Allie. I’m glad the ship’s working out the way you wanted it to.”
“The way we wanted it to.”
He flinched, and her teeth clicked shut almost as soon as the words were out.
Her pale cheeks flamed red and she shook her head.
“I brought you the patch I promised.” He held it out, trapped between two fingers.
“Great.” Aliette gave a small, unhappy huff, but she snatched the patch out of his hands, peeled the backing off and slapped it to her arm in record time.
The ship jittered a bit, and Zandro braced against the doorframe to keep his balance.
Aliette flicked her gaze over him head to toe then looked away. “You might want to strap in.”
Silently, he dropped into the nav chair behind her shoulder and buckled up. The copilot’s chair lay empty, swinging back and forth a little beside her, like it was tempting him to sit there. He settled more firmly into the second row and pulled his com unit out of his back pocket. “Hey, um, do you mind if I record?” he asked.
“Record?”
“For my vid account. Whenever I do rescues I try to get some footage en route. It’s a more efficient use of my time than trying to do it after I’ve got the kittens, and it helps me collect my thoughts.”
“As long as you don’t record me I don’t care what you do.” She toggled the controls and, with a gentle lift, the ship was in the air heading toward the horizon.
Zandro keyed open the app on his com and started recording. He gave a quick rundown of the situation, how he’d been called in, what he knew so far, how he planned to tackle things when he got there, and then he stopped and reviewed the footage. Pretty clean, but he probably wanted to re-record the beginning again—
“Why the videos?” she asked. “Why the big social media presence?”
Zandro couldn’t help the small curl of smile starting on his face. “Do you follow me?”
She made an exasperated noise and shook her head.
Right, he shouldn’t antagonize his ride. “I started after you and I—well, you know I used to watch tutorials and stuff. So I made a couple tutorial videos myself. And then some updates on my fosters when people asked about them. The whole thing just sort of spiraled, and I started making them regularly.
“And it helped connect me with more rescue orgs. People started sending me supplies, then sending actual credits to my bank. I don’t make much, but I make enough to keep me and the cats fed. I don’t have to work a day job. If there’s something else I need—an operation for a cat, meds—I just ask and folks give a little extra. Or donate their services. I’ve got a vet friend who does free consults for me all the time now that I met through my vids.” He shook his head, his insides still warming at the way the virtual community he’d built would come together to help him and the cats. “Being connected to the bigger universe has been good to me, good for the cats. I can’t even count the ways that being on social media benefits my rescue work.”
For a long moment the only sound was the hum of the ship as it pinwheeled through the stars. Artificial gravity had kicked in once they cleared the atmosphere, and now Aliette was getting them far enough away from the planet to make the jump to lightspeed. She cleared her throat. “I’m glad you have more help now. I’m glad you don’t have to scrimp and save and flounder to do your work. I…I know how much it means to you.”
She knew better than anyone. “Aliette—”
“It’s a short hop to the moon so this trip shouldn’t be more than a few hours roundtrip. No worse than a groundca
r drive.” Her voice was bright, cheerfully distant. She was plainly Changing the Subject, and Zandro went along despite how his insides were screaming to talk to her, to make her understand.
Instead, he unclipped from his seat and stood. “That’s great. I’m going to get things ready for the kittens.” Zandro took himself off but, as he left the cockpit, Aliette sighed gustily behind him. Whether in annoyance or regret he couldn’t tell.
* * *
The ride to the moon was as short and uneventful as Aliette had promised Zandro it would be. And she never did work up the courage to call him back to the cockpit to talk.
Like really talk.
Part of it was she didn’t know what she’d even say. I miss you, was a fine sentiment but an incomplete thought. Because really it was: I miss you…but I’m still not willing to sacrifice everything for your stupid cats.
And he clearly wasn’t willing to give them up for her, right?
So, what was the point of talking?
Anteros XII, the moon that was their destination, loomed in her front viewscreen, and she keyed in the coordinates for the sheriff’s office, hoping to find a landing field close by.
She was in luck because the colony on Anteros XII was still so Podunk and small there was only one landing pad, and it was snuggled up right next to the sheriff’s station. Probably because it was easier for them to check cargo. A settlement that small they likely didn’t even have a separate spaceport authority to run inspections. Maybe one harried deputy with a clipboard.
She keyed open the com and hailed the sheriff’s station. “The Dulcinea requesting permission to land. Over.”
“This is the Anteros XII Sheriff Station. What is your business?”
“I’m carrying Zandro Casillas. He’s here for the kittens.”
“Oh thank goodness.” The voice on the other end sounded suddenly breathless and tense. “You’re cleared to land on Pad 4. And hurry. Anteros XII Sheriff Station over and out.”
