“Like I’m going to live with you and be able to resist,” I said with a chuckle.
“You said it, not I,” Danial said huskily. “Though of course, I’d welcome your affections.”
“What if Theo somehow returns?” I asked. “Could you let me go, if he did?”
“You would still want to leave?” Danial said unbelievingly.
“Depends on his reasons for not coming back,” I replied. “I can’t say, not for sure.”
“Do you expect me to be that cold?” Danial said, closing his eyes and grimacing as if in pain. “To say such things to me as if I had no heart?”
“I don’t mean to hurt you,” I said apologetically. “I meant to be honest.” I reached out to him and touched his face. “I can’t truly let him go, not knowing what happened, if he’s dead or not. Do you understand?”
Danial sighed. “I understand you want him, not me.”
“Don’t give me that,” I said angrily. “Do you understand I’m upset? My life fell apart. This is the second time I’ve lost a loved one in two years.” I moved to get up. “This is probably the wrong time for another try, Danial. It’s not going to work.”
Danial moved fast, gathering me in his arms. “Don’t say that. I’m sorry I got angry, but it’s hard to have just made love with you and listen to you talk as if I don’t matter to you at all.”
“You do matter,” I said softly into his neck. “I’m just a wreck. Why would you even want me like this?”
Danial hugged me. “When I saw the ring he was planning to give you, I knew any chance I’d had with you was over.” He kissed me. “I’ll take whatever you can give me, Sar, for as long as you’ll give me. Please let me help you. If you don’t want me, that’s fine. Do it for Elle.”
“I’ll come,” I said softly, “but not just for Elle. I’ll come because I want to be with you.”
“Say that again,” Danial said huskily.
Hearing that word, I felt as if I’d been kicked in the gut. I began sobbing uncontrollably.
Danial immediately panicked. “Sar, what’s wrong? What did I say? Sar?”
The urge to throw up rose within me, and I quickly clambered out of bed.
Danial grabbed hold of me, pulling me back. “Sar, say something? What is it?”
I forced myself to breathe deeply. “I’m okay,” I said finally. “I’m sorry. It’s because it’s the first time I’ve been intimate since…um, again, it’s something he used to say every time...” I trailed off.
“I will never say that word, not to you like this. I promise,” Danial assured me.
“I feel like I’m falling apart,” I said tearfully. “Like everything’s wrong, and I’m so scared it won’t ever be right again.”
“It will be, in time,” Danial said. “You’re still grieving. Lean on me. I’m here for you. I’ll not let you down.”
“Please love me, please,” I whispered to him, kissing his neck. “Hold me.”
“I have never stopped loving you, Sarelle, and I never will,” Danial said compellingly. He pushed me back gently, spreading my thighs and sliding into me in one quick motion. I began kissing him urgently, moving with him.
The cellar door opened and something tumbled down the stairs. Danial rolled off me immediately, so his body was in front of mine.
From the foot of the stairs came the sudden cry of a little girl.
Chapter Four
I jumped out of bed, grabbed up Danial’s shirt and put it on. He slipped into his jeans and followed me to the foot of the steps, where I reached down, gathering a sobbing Elle into my arms.
She was in human form, somewhere between four and five. Her hair was long and blond, like mine. She was naked, and her arm looked broken, hanging at an odd angle. She was crying loudly.
“Shh,” I said.
“Give her to me,” Danial said as he came up behind me.
I handed her to him. He took her in on the bed and laid her down.
“Hold still,” he told her. “This will hurt, but it will help.”
Elle stopped crying long enough to nod, her eyes shut tight. With a swift jerk, he set her arm. She screamed. We both comforted her as best we could while she healed. When the bruises faded, Elle opened her eyes and looked at us.
I gasped. She had Theo’s eyes, the medium gray blue of a cloudy overcast day.
“Mommy?” she said, her voice raspy and uneven.
Hearing that one word, I suddenly knew who I was more than I ever had before in my life. I gathered her into my arms and held her, tears coursing down my face. “Yes.”
Danial picked us both up and laid us in bed, cradling me against him with Elle in the middle. I couldn’t stop staring at her. I’d wanted to see her for so long as a human. Now that she was, I didn’t know what to say first.
Danial, gentleman that he was, took up my slack. “Do you know who I am?”.
“Danial,” she said, making it sound like Danielle.
“Danial,” he corrected.
“Danial,” she said again, saying the correct ‘Dan-yal’ pronunciation.
“Good.” He smiled at her. “Do you know who that is?” he said, pointing to me.
“Sarelle. Mommy. Mother,” Elle said slowly, trying hard to get the right emphasis on the words.
“Do you remember how to change back?” I said to her, my eyes searching her face.
“No,” she said, tears filling her eyes.
I hugged her again. “Shh. It’s okay, Elle. I just wanted to know what happened.”
“I heard you crying. I heard Danial, um, upset. I needed to get to you, to help you. I needed to open the door.”
For never speaking before, she was doing a fantastic job of it. I’d been talking to her for months, trying to expose her to as many words as I could, so when she finally did change to her human form, she would know as much as possible. I was glad of it now.
“I couldn’t um, grip the door. I reached for it and my paw became like yours,” she said finally. “I remembered what you did and turned it and pulled, but when I started forward, my legs wouldn’t work right and I fell.”
Elle had never walked on two legs before. I looked at Danial. He had eyes only for her.
“You were very brave,” I said. She hugged me again.
“I need to go outside,” she said to me suddenly, a look of panic on her face.
I gathered her up quickly and raced for the stairs. Danial followed, mystified.
We got to the bathroom in time. I showed Elle what to do, and she did it. Then I showed her how to work the sink, and she washed her hands. She was still naked, so I got her a sweatshirt of mine to wear and a pair of leggings. They were too big, but it was the best I could do.
I sat her on the closed toilet seat and helped her dress. Then I helped her to the couch.
After sitting her down near Danial, I went to put on some clothes myself. I brought back Danial’s shirt to him, and he put it on. We spent the rest of the night teaching Elle to walk.
She didn’t know how to change back, and I didn’t know how to help her do it. So we had to make sure she could get around on her own. I was worried she’d fall down the stairs, or something worse. Initially, I put Ghost on one side of her and Darkness on the other. Then I called them, and they steadied her as she walked, holding onto them. It worked for a few steps at least, but she kept losing her balance and falling. Then Danial and I tried. We each took one of her hands and helped her walk alongside us. Soon, she was able to walk, just holding lightly to our hands. She beamed a huge smile at us, and I had to blink back tears yet again.
Faint daylight was showing through the windows. I took care of the cats and dogs while Danial took her below with him. While my pets were eating, I checked the Weather Channel, becoming depressed to know they were forecasting snow for the coming weekend.
Snow plowing season was here. In addition to dismay, I was excited. Elle had never seen snow before. I couldn’t wait to see her face when she saw it for the fi
rst time.
I let the dogs outside, and they did their business. That was what Elle had meant by saying she had to go outside. She’d gotten too big for her litter box, and I’d trained her to go outside like the dogs did. I’d felt bad, but the other weres did that in animal form. There had been no way for her to use a toilet in cougar form.
When the pets were settled, I went back downstairs to Danial and Elle. Danial held his finger to his lips as I entered. Elle was asleep, nestled in the crook of his arm, her head on his chest. Her eyes were closed, her hair fanned across his arm that held her.
I crawled next to Danial’s other side, and he put his other arm around me, pulling me close to him. He kissed me softly, and we all settled down to sleep.
We slept until dusk, when Danial’s cool lips woke me in a gentle kiss. “Wake up, Sar.”
I opened my eyes to find him grinning at me. He had smiled before, but never with this much happiness.
Elle was awake and jumping a little on the bed. “Mom, can we get up now?” she yelled.
“Yes,” I winced. “Not so loud so soon.” At least she’d slept as long as she had.
Danial offered me his hand and helped me up. I gave a big yawn and covered my mouth. Elle gave one, too, imitating me. She covered her mouth, too. I grabbed her and tickled her, and she shrieked. Danial laughed then, and I’d never heard him laugh like that, so light, so happy. I turned to behold him grinning ear to ear.
“Come,” he said. “You and your mother should eat.”
We each took her hand and went upstairs. “What would you like?” I said to her.
“Chicken,” she said, licking her lips.
“Try some eggs and bacon instead,” I offered. “Then you can have chicken. Okay?”
“Okay,” she said dubiously, “but you only gave them to me as a treat, um, before.”
“We’re celebrating,” I said. “Give me a few moments.”
Danial played with her while I got breakfast ready. I sat her at the table when it was time, and she wolfed down her eggs and bacon, after Danial helped her to use her fork.
“Some more?” she said, looking at me hopefully.
I made her some more, eating some myself as I cooked. When she’d had another two platefuls, she finally said she was full. I put the dishes in the dishwasher and told Elle we needed to think about showering.
“I don’t want to get wet,” Elle said, crinkling up her nose.
“You don’t want to smell bad, do you?” Danial said.
“No,” she said slowly, looking at him.
“When you look like this, Elle, you need to bathe,” Danial said patiently
“Okay,” Elle said reluctantly, drawing it out.
I put her in the guest shower with me and showed her how to wash her hair, how to rinse off, and how to use the soap. I’d never had cause to give her a bath before this. She watched me comb out my long hair, and I handed her the brush when I was done, so she could do the same to her hair.
“Your body looks different from mine,” she said haltingly.
I thought desperately I needed a break about now. I had no idea how to answer her. “I’m older than you, Elle,” I said finally. “When you get older, your body will look like mine.”
“Will I have—?”
I cut her off. “Yes, exactly like mine, but that's not for a long while. I have to tell you something else too, Elle, and I want you to understand I’m not upset or angry with you. You need to understand it is not okay to talk about things like this with anyone except me and Danial.”
She looked sad, and I kicked myself. “Elle, I want you to ask me any questions you have. I’ll do my best to answer them as will Danial. I just want you to feel comfortable around other people. If there are other people around, whisper in my ear what you are thinking of saying before you say it, and I’ll let you know if it’s okay to say.” God, I hoped I was handling this the right way. What if I were traumatizing her?
“Okay, Sarelle,” she said, looking up at me.
I thought about telling her to call me Mom, but decided not to.
“Was I called Elle, um, by you?” she said haltingly. I realized then she knew words she’d heard around her often, but only the ones I’d taught her. I was glad again I’d talked to her so much in the last few months. I helped her out of the shower and handed her a towel. I helped her dry off, and she hugged me.
“Was I called Elle by you?” she said again.
I wrapped a towel around my head and another around hers and led her into the bedroom. Danial, going by me into the shower, kissed me. Hoping there was enough hot water left for him, I sat Elle down on the bed beside me.
“Your father, Theo, called you Elle. He named you Elle, which means he called you that first, and said to everyone they should call you that. Do you understand?” I said gently.
“Did he call me that because of you?” she said then.
“Yes,” I answered, remembering and trying not to be sad.
“Mommy, why are you always sad thinking about him?” she said, hugging me.
“I loved him very much, Elle,” I said, choked up. “I miss him.”
“You often told me he loved me,” she said in a small voice. “Where is he?”
“We aren’t sure, but we think he died,” I said, holding her close. “Right after you were born, he disappeared. Danial has just returned from searching for him, having given up.”
She looked up into my eyes with Theo’s eyes. “Why did he die?”
“Sometimes it happens,” I said quickly, thinking of Tawny’s tangled web of lies.
“Are you going to die? Is Danial?” she said, panicked.
“Elle, I am not going to die for a long time. Danial is not going to die, um, for a long time either.” This was not the time to talk about vampires. There would be enough time for that later.
“Am I going to die?” she was still panicked.
“Elle, remember downstairs? How you fell?”
“Yes,” she said, considering.
“Remember your arm, how it felt?”
“It hurt a lot,” she said loudly.
“Remember how Danial straightened it, and it felt better?”
“Yes.” She was thinking hard now. “He fixed it.”
“You are a werecougar, like your father was,” I said. “Like him, you can heal almost any wound. It is hard to hurt you, unless you get hurt here.” I pointed to her heart.
“Is that where Theo got hurt?” she replied.
She was quick. “We think so,” I said slowly. “Come and get dressed.”
I put her in one of my short sweaters and a short skirt. They were huge on her, but it would do until I got her some clothes. I put on a sweater and some jeans and conditioned my hair. Elle wanted some, when she saw me doing it, so I gave her some.
I looked in the mirror then, really looked, as I hadn’t since those days in the hotel in Orleans. I was thinner, as Danial had observed. Not supermodel thin, but there was thinness about me that had not been there before from lost muscle and fat. That wasn’t due to lack of food, as he’d implied, but lack of my old routines; I was no longer lifting steel routinely or practicing with a gun once a week. I vowed to start working out and to teach Elle to shoot in the near future.
In addition, my hair hadn’t been highlighted in months and had grown out, my roots dark around my face. I would need to fix that as well. Strangely, my face itself looked the same, not etched with all the sadness of the past few months. My green eyes stared resolutely back at me, undefeated.
Danial yelled in alarm from the other room. Turning around, Elle had vanished. I ran into the guest bathroom to see him wrapping a towel around himself. He was as close to total embarrassment as I’d ever seen him.
Elle was looking at him hard. “He looks different than you and me, Mommy.”
“Because he’s a man, a male,” I said, trying to stifle my laughter. “You and I are females, girls, women.”
Elle opened her mout
h again, and I held a finger to her lips. “What did I say?” I said gently, and she immediately hushed.
Danial had regained some of his composure in the meantime. He kneeled so he could look into Elle’s eyes. “You need to knock if you go into a bathroom and someone is in there,” he said gently. “You need to ask if you can come in and only enter if they say it is okay. Okay?”
“Okay,” she said. “I’m sorry.”
Danial hugged her. “It’s okay.” He kissed her forehead, “We need to get you some clothes that fit you.” He looked at me. “Let’s meet at the truck in five minutes?”
I nodded, and he went back in the bathroom.
“Where are we going?” Elle said, her eyes sparkling. “For a ride?”
“We need to get you some clothes, Elle, and some shoes.”
“Toy for me?” she said, excitedly.
I cringed a little at the choice of words I’d taught her, but I’d thought of her as both daughter and animal. I kicked myself. I should be ecstatic she was able to speak as well as she did. Sure, some of her inflections and vowels were coming out wrong, but it would get better with practice. What was important was that I could understand her enough to know what she was trying to communicate to me. It was amazing she could remember so much from her other form. It made sense. She didn’t change once a day or once a week. Her cougar form had been her form her whole life until now. Her memory would be normal memory, like I remembered yesterday and the day before.
“Mom?” Elle was still looking at me expectantly. “Toy?”
“Maybe we will get a toy for you,” I said, smiling at her. “If you are a good girl.”
She beamed up at me. Again I saw Theo in her so strongly I felt I’d been kicked in the chest. “I will be good,” she said seriously.
Danial came out, the picture of composure. “We’ve got to hurry; they’ll be closing the stores soon.”
He scooped up Elle, who shrieked in joy, and carried her out to his waiting SUV. I locked the front door and followed them.
Danial drove us to the closest mall and hurriedly carried a shoeless Elle into the store. We went to the shoe department first. The saleswoman hurried right over, eyeing Elle’s outfit.
Taken in the Night Page 10
