Back at the house, Philippe repeated his earlier words as he helped her with her coat: “You need to take as much time as you feel is necessary. You must be certain of your choices. I will be waiting. I promise you this.”
Kat studied his dark eyes and strong face that pleased her so immensely. They hugged briefly as she nodded, unsure of what to say next.
Katherine felt a mixture of relief and nausea. She was glad she had finally said aloud the thoughts that had been plaguing her. She also felt terrible that she had hurt Philippe and caused him to feel uncertain of her love for him.
“I’m going to make some hot chocolate, Chouchou. Would you like some?”
They sat at the kitchen table, warming up with their drinks and talking intermittently about Molly. The elephant in the room was studiously avoided for quite a while.
Finally Philippe said, “Kat, there’s no question you must stay until Molly is fully recovered. After that, you can decide when you will return to Antibes. For now, just focus on Molly.”
Kat’s responses were mostly nods. Now that she had let out all her feelings, she felt drained. There were long moments of silence.
“Let’s go back into the living room and put on some more music.” Kat went straight to the turntable before flopping down on the couch next to Philippe.
Ella Fitzgerald’s velvet voice filled the room. Philippe smiled at Kat. “You put that on specially for me, didn’t you?”
Kat gently pulled Philippe to his feet and they danced slowly. She desperately wanted to smooth the rift she worried she had created.
Leading her back to the sofa, he kissed her hand. “Next to Adorée, you are the best thing that has happened to me. Tu es l’amour de ma vie. I don’t want my life to be without you.”
“And you are the best thing in my life,” Katherine responded, her words filled with emotion. “This is not about the love we share. Please believe me.”
He ran his finger along her cheek, resting it on her lips as if to assure her those words were not needed. “I do. It took me a few minutes to understand exactly what your struggle was. I see how you feel about moving your life across an ocean, now that you are back here surrounded by all of your memories.”
Their eyes met, and Philippe continued, “But let me say that I’ve watched you blossom in our time together in France. You’ve made my life complete by being a true partner, but also by being your own person. You’ve won over my friends and brought new friends into our life. You’ve shown yourself to be a talented artist with your photography and you’re on the brink of a new career. N’est-ce pas?”
Katherine took a deep breath and started to speak. Philippe touched her lips with his fingers once again.
“Attends . . . I’m not finished. Because of you, we have a dream for the property on the Cap. Because of you, Adorée and I are a complete family again. So don’t sell yourself short. You are a strong, unique woman who fell in love in France and with France. You belong there, with me, but only when you are ready.”
Katherine reached for a tissue and blew her nose after wiping tears from her cheeks. Philippe’s words went straight to her heart and her head. She knew he was right. She was strong and she was in love. She would be fine.
“Thank you for that. It’s what I need to hear. I do want to be there with you. I just have to get past these troubling insecurities.”
They sat holding hands, listening to the music, as a sense of calm finally settled upon them.
After many minutes, in a voice filled with love and intimacy, Philippe murmured, “Entre deux coeurs qui s’aiment, nul besoin de paroles.”
Katherine translated: “Two hearts in love need no words. That’s beautiful.”
“That’s us, Kat. I’m going to give you a book by Marceline Desbordes-Valmore. It’s on our bookshelf at home. We can read her romantic poems together.”
Katherine smiled as her heart swelled with love. “You know all the right things to say to ease my fears.”
“Trust me, it’s our love that brings those words to me. Ne bouge pas, s’il te plaît,” Philippe instructed her with a stern look.
“I’ll wait right here,” she assured him, wondering what he had in store.
He bounded up the stairs, two at a time. Returning in seconds, he sat beside her again.
Suddenly, he took a small velvet box from his pocket as he dropped down on one knee. “I didn’t intend it to happen like this but . . .” he paused.
Kat could see he was collecting himself as he swallowed and looked directly into her eyes. His voice was clear and strong as he continued. “Minou, Kat, Katherine Elisabeth Price—mon amour, mon coeur, je t’aime—will you spend the rest of your life by my side and let me be the man who loves and cares for you forever? With no pressure about when you come back to Antibes . . .”
His voice trailed off. His eyes shone as they searched her face for her response.
Kat’s pulse beat wildly. A lump rose in her throat and she felt almost faint. She had not seen this coming. Not when it seemed like she might have caused Philippe to lose heart. Not after she had acted as if she questioned her commitment to the life they were building.
Hesitation and uncertainty vanished.
The preceding days without Philippe, and all that had happened with James and Nick, only served to reinforce how right she knew her feelings were for Philippe. The issue of where home was had to be separate.
Speechless at first, her voice whispered back, “I love you too, and I want us to spend the rest of our lives together. Yes, oui—yes, yes, yes.”
“And if it takes time for you to come to me, that’s okay. And if you want to come back to Toronto to stay for a few months every year, that’s okay too. We can make it all work. I simply cannot think of my life without you.”
He sat beside her and slipped a stunning ring on her finger: a sizable cushion-cut pink diamond bordered by small white diamonds in an antique gold setting.
Katherine gasped, “It’s so beautiful . . .” She looked at it carefully, her eyes sparkling, “I’ve seen it before, haven’t I?”
“Almost—it’s very similar to the ring Joy wears. I have heard you admire it. She gave me the name of the jeweler in Marseille and he brought stones to Antibes before Christmas. I chose this one and the setting. Do you mind? We can change it if you want.”
Their eyes locked, and suddenly they were in each other’s arms. Their emotions swept over them.
Tears streamed down Kat’s cheeks, and she shook her head. “That’s what I mean. You hear me. You notice what I say and how I feel and then you do something incredibly thoughtful like this. I love the ring! I love you!”
He told her the jeweler thought Philippe wanted the ring for Christmas, so he’d had it for almost a month. “I didn’t want to give it to you on a holiday. I was saving it for a special moment. I didn’t think it would happen like this, but . . .”
“This was special—very special. I thought for a moment we had a terrible problem.”
Philippe looked chagrined. “That was bizarre. I had some kind of panic attack and then you revealed your anxieties. Très bizarre! And now here we are with the ring.”
Kat laughed and let out a sigh of relief. Tremendous joy filled her. She felt happy, secure in their love. She could feel that emotion from Philippe too. The words “home is where the heart is” filtered through her mind from somewhere deep in her past. Probably my mother, she thought. That’s something Anyu would have said.
She knew where her heart was, and she would try her best to follow wherever it led. “I can do this. I can do this.”
There was something else on her mind as they listened to music. She had to take the chance.
In among her parents’ albums were a few that had belonged to her. The Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Gordon Lightfoot, Carole King, James Taylor—even some Bob Dylan, which she was going to take to Simone.
There was one album in particular she had rediscovered this week. It was an LP titled Avalon
Sunset from 1989. On it there was one song that had perhaps signaled a warning about James, which she had ignored. He’d always hated it and said it was the sappiest song he had ever heard. She’d never told him how she felt about it.
Now she put the album on the turntable and placed the needle to that song. “Tell me what you think of this,” she said as Van Morrison began singing “Have I Told You Lately.”
She turned up the music and took Philippe into her arms. They danced the slowest dance, melting into each other as the words of the love song filled the room. Nothing was said, but their bodies spoke with passion as they became ever more intimately entwined.
From time to time they kissed, but mostly they let the words and the music wrap around them.
“I’ve never heard that song,” Philippe said. “It’s beautiful. The words were written for us.”
Katherine buried her face in his shoulder and held him tightly. “I always hoped someday that song would have meaning for me, because until this moment it never did. Even though I desperately wanted it to.”
They played it again and again.
“I could never listen to it before without feeling sad,” Kat told him. “Now it means the world to me.”
Kat wondered if somehow the love her parents had shared as they danced to these songs was with them as she and Philippe began this new chapter.
“To think we might have missed all this,” he whispered.
“What if I had never come to France on those exchanges? What would have happened to us?”
“Let’s not even think about that.”
They stayed on the sofa a while longer, listening to music and talking about how the next few months might unfold.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Katherine wakened slowly. A smile played on her lips before her eyes opened. Pure bliss was the only feeling she could identify. She slipped her hand from under the covers and held it in front of her as she admired the most beautiful ring she’d ever seen. She rubbed the band between her fingers and moved the ring up and down, examining it from every angle.
She wasn’t sure what to call it. Does an engagement ring confirm you are getting married? Is it a promise ring? She didn’t know and she didn’t care. Philippe said they would be together forever. She had agreed. Nothing else mattered.
She felt more serene at this moment than any time she could remember. Her smile spread.
Murmurings of Philippe’s voice filtered up the stairs. He’d kissed Kat’s forehead lightly when he’d gotten up at 5:00 a.m. “Good old jet lag . . .” Kat muttered before she rolled over and fell back asleep.
Now she got up, wrapped her cozy robe around her, and slipped her feet into her fleece-lined slippers—her papoochkis. She chuckled.
“Good morning, Minou, mon amour, the woman I will love for the rest of my life.”
“Bonjour, mon Chou, mon amour, the man I will love for the rest of my life.”
Kat kissed him on each cheek and then twirled around, waving her hand to show off the ring. He reached out and pulled her into his arms.
“Is everything fine at the market with Gilles?”
“Yes, we had everything well organized when I left. I just spoke with him. Pas de problème.”
“Let’s call Adorée and tell her our news!”
Philippe broke into a wide grin. “D’accord!”
Their conversation with Philippe’s daughter was exuberant. “We’re going to be a family!” Adorée cried with delight. “I’ll come home for a weekend in February! Will you be back then, Kat?”
Philippe answered before Kat could speak. “We don’t know, so don’t plan anything yet. Kat has a lot to take care of here. Just be happy for us now and we will let you know what is going to happen.”
“Whenever! I’m so thrilled for you both! Félicitations, Papa! Congratulations, Kat!”
After they hung up, Kat thanked Philippe for smoothing over what might have been an awkward moment.
“Pas de tout! There is no need to rush anything.”
While Katherine prepared their favorite, poached eggs, Philippe went upstairs and returned with a file folder. “But then, speaking of rushing, I went online last week and found all the paperwork we must complete for you to live in France. Now I’m worried you will feel I’m pushing you.”
Kat looked apologetic. “I’m sorry I put you on the defensive with all my earlier angst. Really, it was very thoughtful of you to do this.”
“I’ve written the letter I need to give them at the French consulate here, and this is a list of what is required from you.”
They looked over the list while they ate and made plans to visit the consulate in Toronto the next day. Katherine needed to photocopy a few documents, but otherwise the process looked quite simple.
“Ha! Knowing French bureaucracy,” Philippe muttered, “we may have some surprises. We will hope for the best.”
After a leisurely breakfast, Philippe got behind the wheel of Kat’s car, and they began the hour or so drive to Andrea’s farm.
The sky, gray and heavy with clouds, did nothing to dampen their high spirits. Katherine kept waving her hand around, admiring her ring from every angle and making Philippe laugh at her obvious pleasure.
“You make me feel like a young man again,” he told her.
Speeding along on Highway 401, they became engrossed in their plans for the Cap d’Antibes property. Philippe gamely asked Kat to walk through every room of the villa in her imagination and describe her vision. Then he would incorporate his.
“How and when are we ever going to get it done with all these ideas?” Katherine asked, laughing at some of the more outrageous fantasies they were spinning. “Let’s go back to our original idea of keeping it simple.”
They had always envisioned a simple French-country look and agreed that had not changed. “You mean no crystal chandeliers, Persian carpets, and double-size Jacuzzi bathtubs with gold faucets?” Philippe said, attempting to keep a straight face.
Katherine snorted. “I guess we did get carried away just now. That is so not us!”
“We can have some weekend excursions to the antique markets in L’Isle-sur-la-Sorgue. We’ll find some unique pieces there. You’ll love it!” he told her.
Eventually there would be six guest rooms, but they would begin with two in the original part of the villa, along with public areas for serving breakfast and relaxing, plus their own private rooms. The remaining four guest rooms would be in the attached structure that had once been the barn. Philippe reassured Kat, “Didier says that part of the job will take another year, but it will not interfere with our use of the rest of the space.”
Katherine’s heart quickened at the thought of beginning this new adventure. Philippe’s support and calm approach to her conflict about “home” were already helping her feel better about how things might work out. Lots of couples carried on long-distance relationships, so maybe that’s what they would do for part of the year.
They spoke about financing and other realities that had only been touched upon in their short time together. Philippe had always told her he had everything under control and Kat had felt awkward about getting involved in the details when they were simply living together.
Now that they’d made this commitment to each other, she wanted that to change.
“I want to be included in every aspect of our life together, and that includes our financial situation. We are full partners now, and I want to contribute. D’accord?”
Philippe smiled in agreement. “Let’s have a business meeting tomorrow night when we are back at the house.”
In no time, they reached the turnoff to St. Jacobs.
“Agriculture is alive and well here, from small organic gardens to much larger farms,” Katherine explained. “It reminds me a bit of some parts of Provence.”
Record snowfalls and frigid temperatures kept the winter palette pristine in the countryside around St. Jacobs. No melting thaws had tarnished the whiteness of everything, cloaki
ng the entire landscape in quiet and snow. There was a sense of stillness and tranquility across the broad expanse of farmland. Red barns and deep-green forests provided contrast in otherwise perfectly composed black-and-white images.
Philippe pulled the car over to the shoulder of the narrow road as best he could, given the snowbanks, whenever Kat spotted a scene she wanted to capture. “They are fields of inspiration today . . .” she murmured, looking through her lens.
He loved to watch her work with her camera, as he often told her. “I’m eager to get our website up and running to showcase your photos! Gilles and I began making a list of some cheese-making farms for us to visit too.”
Kat laughed. “FromageGraphie! I’ve been thinking about it also. Especially during quiet times at the hospital. I can’t wait to hear what you have come up with.”
They were distracted just then by the sight of a horse-drawn buggy turning onto the road a little ahead of them. A black wooden cab protected the occupants.
Driving slowly over the snowy roads, Philippe was intrigued as Kat explained local Mennonite history. “Look at the wheels of the buggy,” she told him. “See how they’re steel? That indicates this family follows the religion to the letter.”
Philippe shot her a quizzical look.
Kat continued. “The issue of metal or rubber tires is one that seriously divided the community. I’ll get Terrence to better explain. They have good friends who are Mennonite, and I’ve been fascinated through the years learning about their culture.”
“They live simply, do they not? We have Amish in the Alsace region.”
“Exactly,” Kat replied. “Terrence and Andrea’s friend, Samuel, once explained that their religion was not relegated simply to written creed and church ideology. He said it was a sacred canopy that stretches over daily life. Isn’t that a beautiful way to describe it? Even for a nonbeliever.”
“Religion. It’s hard to say what’s best; it kind of speaks two languages. We have a similar situation in France. Only much more political. Adhering to cultural traditions speaks of community and identity—solidarity. On the other hand, it draws boundaries between the faith and the larger society.”
I Promise You This (Love in Provence Book 3) Page 12
