“I… I’m not acting strangely.” A pathetic attempt to deny my obvious ridiculousness. I had to force my eyes away from his throat.
“Yes, you are. Come on, Charlie, we’re like brothers, aren’t we? You can tell me anything.”
He offered me a weak smile, and I could see he was fatigued.
“Brothers,” I started, my voice straining on the word. “Yes, we’re definitely like brothers. I’m worried about you is all.” That wasn’t a complete lie at least.
“Well, you should be worried about me.” Daniel pulled his head up and looked me squarely in the eye. “You’d be a rotten brother if you weren’t concerned. I’m really sick here, you know.” He gestured to himself with his hand, and though he let out another ragged cough, he ended with a smile.
“You should probably get some rest.” It took all my resolve to stand and pick up the tray.
“Yes,” he said around a yawn. “Doctor Smithson was in here before you and made me drink some concoction. It tasted awful.”
“Not like my soup, huh?”
“Not at all like your soup.” A shiver swam over Daniel. “Can you help me into my tunic? I’m cold now. Wish my body would make up its mind.”
I set the tray down again and approached the bedside, grabbing Daniel’s tunic off the end of the bed. Shaking it out, I stalled a bit, knowing this was going to involve more contact than I could handle at the moment.
Taking in a deep breath, I kneeled on the bed next to Daniel. He struggled to push himself off the wall he leaned against and ended up resting his hand on my shoulder to finish the move. My face grew hot, my heartbeat accelerated. I lifted his tunic and placed the neck opening over his head. Letting it drop to his shoulders, I held the left sleeve out so he could slip his arm in.
My eyes were drawn to the V of chest left exposed by the tunic. I moved my hand to touch him, but caught myself before making actual contact. I recovered by placing my hand on his shoulder instead in a motion to help him recline. He eased back with my assistance, and I pulled the blanket up to his shoulders.
“Thanks,” Daniel mumbled as he rolled over onto his right side and tucked the blanket under his chin.
“Of course.”
“You’ll come back, right? Because you’re concerned.” His eyes were closed now, but a grin played on his lips.
“I’ll come back.” I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.
“Good,” he whispered. “Something about you, Charlie, makes me feel better.” He
muttered something else I couldn’t understand as sleep overtook him. I stood and stole a few more moments of covert admiration.
“Something about you, Daniel,” I whispered, daring to trace a finger along his smooth cheek, “makes me feel.”
****
I stayed in the crow’s nest until the sky turned black in an attempt to sequester myself. Scanning the ocean kept my mind busy so only a portion of it could think about Daniel. Memories of my mother being sick pushed through all afternoon. Daniel’s skin looked like hers. A dull, yellow-gray. The fever was similar as was the horrendous coughing. Her illness had also come on as suddenly as Daniel’s. It left as quickly as it came, taking her with it.
That’s what frightened me most. That he’d die without knowing who I really was and how I felt about him.
Fumbling down the pegs on the mast in the dark, I shook my head to clear the morbid thoughts. The top deck was nearly vacant save for the few night crewmen scattered about at their posts. Squinting, I could make out the vague outline of Walter, the quartermaster, at the helm. The captain had to be tending to Daniel.
Deciding Captain Finley deserved some time with his nephew, I descended the ladder to my bunk.
“Charlie?”
“Yes?” I went back up the last two steps at the sound of my name.
“’Tis Russ, boy.” The carpenter stepped into the light of one of the lanterns. “Just come from the captain’s quarters to see Daniel. He be askin’ for you.”
“Daniel’s asking for me?” I was more pleased than was safe to let on.
“No, Charlie,” Russ said. “The captain is. Daniel’s still sleeping—though, truth be told, it’s a right restless sleep. Tossing and turning something fierce, he is.”
I found it hard to swallow as thoughts of the last night with my mother flashed across my mind. I recalled her sweat-soaked hair plastered to her forehead and neck as she had wriggled under the bedclothes in what had appeared to be a painful slumber.
“I’m headed there now then. Thank you, Russ.”
I sprinted down the rest of the ladder and navigated through the darkened passages below deck until I stood before the door to Captain Finley’s cabin. Knocking softly, I waited outside with only the loud drumming of my heartbeat in my ears as company.
A shuffling inside the cabin grew louder as someone approached the door. Dim lantern light spilled out from inside when the door was opened.
“Ah, Charlie. Come in.” Captain Finley stepped aside so I could enter. His features were haggard as if he too had fallen ill.
“Are you feeling all right, sir?”
“Yes, I’m fine. Just worried.” He motioned to the bed where Daniel moaned in his sleep. “He’s been sounding off like that for the last hour now. I think he might be in pain.”
I approached the bed, trying hard to control the quiver in my lip. “Has the doctor been here?”
“He has. Said there’s nothing else we can do but wait.”
Wait.
The word brought my blood to a boil. The fool doctor who came to see my mother had told me the same thing. He should have told me to wait for her to die for that was what he had meant.
I couldn’t do that here. I would not wait for Daniel to die.
“No.” I shook my head as I approached the bed. “We can’t wait. We can’t do nothing.”
“What else can we do, boy? We can get him no other help out here in the middle of the Atlantic. If we were still in England perhaps…” His voice trailed off. I turned to find the captain’s face buried in his massive hands. He heaved in a ragged breath and when he turned his eyes to me, they were rimmed with unshed tears.
“He’s one of my own,” he said in a hushed tone. “Not just a nephew, but a son. He’s had enough trouble in his life. Only since you became part of the crew have I seen him enjoying himself again. If he… I can’t…”
Captain Finley sank onto a stool by the bedside. He took Daniel’s hand in his own. Daniel let out another moan as he writhed beneath the blanket that only partially covered him now. His tunic was soaked again, and his coloring had worsened.
“Go to the galley.” I tugged on the captain’s shoulder. I was unsure of how to console him. His fears were my fears as well. “Mix up a tea with ginger and thyme.”
Captain Finley looked at me with a questioning expression then his brows rose. “A tea, yes. I’ll go make a tea.”
The captain’s spirits improved now that he had a task to do. I wasn’t sure if it would help Daniel at all, but I needed some time alone with him, and the captain needed to feel he was doing something besides waiting.
I pushed the stool aside to sit on the bed right beside Daniel. He mumbled then his eyes fluttered open. He sat upright, clutching my arm. He looked around the room with wild eyes and coughed as he drew in a breath. His own lungs were choking the life out of him.
I placed the palm of my hand on his chest. “Easy, Daniel. Breathe nice and easy for me.”
Taking his hand, I brought it to my chest so he could feel the rhythm of regular breathing as I kept my hand on his chest. I was careful to put his hand high up, closer to the base of my throat than to my heart or ribs… or breasts. His hand was fiery through my sweater and tunic so much so I sweated a bit myself. His shoulders rose and fell as he struggled to match my breathing.
“In and out. Nice and smooth.”
Within a few moments, Daniel breathed in perfect time with me. The coughing had stopped, the feral look in
his eyes abated. Fresh beads of sweat dotted his forehead and trickled down the side of his face. Leaning toward the bedside table, I took a cloth out of the water basin and wrung it out.
Moving closer to Daniel to dab the cloth on his brow, I stopped when his hand shifted lower on my chest. His wide blue gaze bored into mine. His cheeks were flushed, but it had less to do with the fever plaguing him and more to do with his unintentional discovery.
He drew his hand away slowly, but his eyes never left mine. A long moment of silence passed as we simply studied each other. My mind scrambled to come up with a reasonable explanation, with something to say that would make my lies forgiven.
“You’re a… you’re a girl,” he whispered.
Daniel was never going to speak to me again. Served me right. My eyes filled up. It would be unbearable not talking to him anymore.
And then, amidst his fevered features, the slow curve of a grin changed his shocked expression.
“I knew,” he began in a raspy whisper that led to more coughing. He covered his mouth with the crook of his arm as he hacked, but his eyes quickly settled back on my face. He took the damp cloth from my hands and dabbed at his own forehead.
After a moment of trying to get his breathing back on track, he said, “I knew there was more to why I liked you so much, Charlie.” He took my hand in his and brought it up to his lips. His eyes, though watery from the coughing, never left mine. With a feathery light touch, he kissed the back of my hand. “I’m Daniel Connor. Pleased to meet you, Miss…?”
“Charlotte,” I whispered back. “Charlotte Denham.”
Daniel stared at me, more shock apparent in his eyes. “The Charlotte Denham?” His smile grew wider, and his skin improved in color.
I nodded and he narrowed his eyes as if trying to picture me as I really was.
“Well…” he said. “I am truly honored to make your acquaintance, Miss Denham.”
“Are you really?” The words rushed out. “You’re not angry with me for lying to you?”
“I think you’re a rat for lying to me.” He released my hand. “But I think I can manage to forgive you if you tell me it’s been sheer torture having to pretend to be a boy around me.”
I reached my hand out to his face, but hesitated. I wanted to cup his cheek in my palm so badly. To touch him as I’d been dreaming of doing night after night.
“Sheer torture indeed.”
A few more bouts of coughing attacked him, but each time they ended, he smiled at me, his expression showing equal parts disbelief, curiosity, and—to my delight—interest.
My smile matched his, and again a long moment of regarding one another passed between us. Daniel looked at me as if it were the first time he saw me.
“I’ve been having this need to be close to you,” he said, clearing his throat and wincing at the ache that must have caused. “But I couldn’t figure out why.”
“I’m different.”
“Very different.”
“Absolutely breathtakingly different?” I asked, thinking back to Daniel’s description of Captain Denham’s daughter that day we were on the docks.
Grazing my short hair with his hand then taking my hand in his, Daniel put on a face suggestive of deep contemplation. “Yes,” he said. “Breathtaking is surely the right word.”
I did touch his cheek with my other hand then. His flesh was still warm with fever, but he pressed his face into my palm. His eyes closed, and for one moment, everything was perfect.
A rattling at the door a moment later made us both drop our hands.
“My uncle.” Violent coughing was the result of Daniel’s panic and he balled the blankets beneath him in his fist.
“You can’t tell him,” I said.
He shook his head in agreement, not able to respond due to the coughing.
I slipped away onto the stool as Captain Finley opened the door and entered the cabin.
“Ah, Daniel, you’re awake,” the captain said. “I’ve made you some tea. Charlie here suggested it. From the sound of things, you definitely need it.”
“Tea, yes,” Daniel managed, shooting me a quick glance. “Thank you, Uncle.”
“You still sound like hell, but you look better somehow.” Captain Finley handed Daniel the mug. “Doesn’t he look better, Charlie?” He slapped me on the shoulder, and I tumbled off the stool. Daniel stifled a laugh behind the rim of the mug, and I had to fight to remain serious myself.
“Aye, Captain, he does look better indeed.” He looked wonderful even if he was ill.
“I feel better, Uncle Samuel,” Daniel said, his voice still scratchy. “Like a new person.”
In that moment, this adventure of mine had become much more than a mere trip to the Americas.
Where would I wind up now?
Chapter Fourteen
Daniel recovered rather quickly after he had learned my secret. Either the ginger thyme tea worked a miracle or his discovery encouraged his body to mend itself so he could further investigate me. Whatever the case, in two days time he was out of his uncle’s quarters and back to his regular regimen of work. Captain Finley was relieved. The doctor was baffled.
Me?
I was thrilled.
I caught Daniel watching me often when others were present. He didn’t say anything to set the crew to wondering, but I enjoyed looking up from my work and seeing his blue eyes on me. He stopped below the crow’s nest and squinted up at me on three occasions during my time there today. Though having my secret known even by one person was dangerous, I was so glad that one person was Daniel. He wasn’t angry with me for pretending to be a boy. In fact, he was amused I was a girl.
We were alone in the galley tidying up after supper on Daniel’s first day back to work. I finished washing the bowls and turned to find him leaning on one of the water barrels as he had in many of my vivid dreams about him. The mere sight of him in that position had me smiling.
“What’s that smile for?” he said.
I scanned the galley, verifying its emptiness. “You have no idea how many times I’ve pictured you in that exact spot, leaning in that exact way, looking at me with that exact stare.”
“Really?” He raised an eyebrow, his face becoming even more pleasing. He looked down at himself. “There’s nothing special about the way I am right now.”
“Well,” I began in little more than a whisper, my cheeks growing warm. “I suppose it’s what comes after I pictured you like this that would make a person smile.”
“I see.” Daniel’s grin grew larger. “And what happens after?”
I shot a look to the open galley door and brought my eyes back to Daniel’s face. “Let’s just say it involves that mouth of yours.”
He shook his head. “I’m afraid, Charlie, I don’t understand what you mean. Think you’re going to have to show me.”
His trickery was entertaining and tempting, but again the open doorway concerned me. He followed my gaze this time. “Don’t worry about that.”
He eased off the water barrel and slipped his hand beneath his tunic. He pulled out a long piece of thin rope on which hung an old key. Crossing to the door of the galley, Daniel closed it, locking it securely.
“This is the one room, besides my uncle’s quarters, on the Rose that has a locked door. It’s meant to be a safe place to hide or protect cargo should we run into pirates or the like. This is the only key to the galley.” He dangled the key on the rope still around his neck.
Now my smile matched his as he stepped over to me in two long strides. I lifted my chin to look him in the eye. “Clever, aren’t you?” I grabbed the key and tugged him closer.
“Mmm-hmm.” Daniel leaned in so the heat of his body made my skin warm. He took Benjamin’s old cap off my head and dropped it onto the wooden table behind me. “I’ll bet this was like spun gold before you had to cut it.” He brushed his hand through my hair, which hung below my ears now. Not quite as long as Daniel’s at his jaw, but close.
“When I cam
e up with this ridiculous plan, cutting my hair was the only thing I felt bad about,” I said. “My mother had hair just like mine.”
“I see. And this?” He jabbed a finger into where my stomach should have been and chuckled when he found it to be so soft.
“An extra shirt of my brother’s.” I pulled Eric’s balled up tunic out from under my clothes and placed it on the table next to the hat.
Shaking his head, Daniel moved his hand to my cheek. His touch was so soft, so gentle, that it made me shiver a bit as he traced the edge of my jaw with his index finger.
“Looking at you now, Charlie, I don’t know why I ever believed you were a boy. I mean, of course you’re a girl. Look at you. You’re beautiful.”
He put his hand on the back of my neck and slowly pulled me closer to him, lowering his face to mine. “Let’s see if I can get this right.”
I had but a second to smile before his lips were on my cheek. I held my breath as he trailed to my mouth and kissed me. His lips teased mine with slow, gentle nips and I savored the gingery taste of him. As I kissed him back, I had a fleeting thought that if time where to stand still on a single moment, this would be the moment I would pick. I had never felt a man’s lips on my own. Had never tasted anything so wonderful. How did people go around doing other things when they could be doing this?
Daniel pulled away so he could look at my face. “How was that?”
“I’m going to have to see that again to make an educated assessment.”
Laughing, he drew me close again. “Whatever the lady wishes.”
This time his hand moved from my neck to my lower back, and I placed my hands on his shoulders. My heart pounded against my ribs, and I could feel Daniel’s doing the same as our lips met again. This time it wasn’t so gentle. The heat in this kiss raised my temperature and had me wishing he would never pull away.
Releasing me, he folded his arm across his chest with mock impatience. “Well?”
“An excellent reenactment of my visions of this particular moment, but that is not to say that we shouldn’t practice. Often.”
Sail With Me (A Discovery Series Book) Page 11
