“Cody—”
“No, Mom. You know it’s not right.”
Why, oh why, did I have to have the one kid on the planet who understands every goddamned thing and is mature enough not to let me slide when I’m wrong?
It was cute when he was three and telling me that I was building his Legos wrong. This, however, is humiliating and if I didn’t fully deserve his anger, I’d probably send him to timeout for his disrespect.
“Cody, son, don’t be so hard on your mom,” Law says, startling me when he frowns at Cody sternly, stopping his already ten minute dress down.
“But Daaad!”
“No buts, boy. This is your mom, not some stranger you’re speaking to. She made a mistake, and she’s apologized. Accept it and start showing her some respect or you can forget about meeting my friends,” Law says as a warning, giving him another frown.
Cody finally relents and shakes his head before coming over and giving me a hug. I probably don’t deserve it, so I squeeze him a little tighter and whisper my apologies into his ear, letting him know that I’m not mad about his anger, that I understand and won’t judge if he’s still upset.
“Fine. But I want autographs, Dad.”
Law laughs, a full-bellied sound that reminds me of the old him that I’ve so foolishly been searching for. I realized sometime in the early hours of the morning a few days ago when I couldn’t sleep that I’ve been wrong yet again.
We all grow and change constantly. We’re never the same; we can’t stay the same; and I’ve been chasing a dream that no longer exists.
The man’s moody and can throw a fit about the smallest things, and he’s a lot more laid back about things that drive me nuts, but he’s not lacking the way I’ve been thinking.
No, I’m lacking because—instead of being an adult—I was a spoiled brat who wanted what she wanted. Not the truth. And know how I came to this startling conclusion?
I realized that I’m not that same weak, sad girl who almost died of heartache and would probably have been much worse off if not for Brody. He saved me from me.
I changed, and not because I consciously decided to, but because that is the evolution of life. Everything changes and grows. It’s nature. So, yeah, he’s not the man I loved when I was a young starry-eyed girl, but who the hell cares.
He’s still worthy of love just as he is. I just hope that one day soon he’ll forgive me for all my mistakes and think me worthy of loving in return.
Today, just minutes ago, was a first step in the right direction, I think, because I didn’t once think that Law would defend me to Cody.
He did though, and for that I will forever be grateful. It means I get to keep my infallible mom status with our son, and that whatever happens in the future, Cody will have a good man, a role model in his father.
“You’ll get your autographs, kid. Now go find your grandmother and tell her it’s time for those gifts you all bought on your trip. I love gifts.”
Cody sprints away with a grin, leaving me alone with Law and a hundred questions. Most of these thoughts are my need to confess all to him, but for some reason I hesitate to say anything.
Maybe because I don’t want to rock that boat yet.
“Thank you.”
It’s all I can say as he leans back on the sofa and regards me with a deadpan expression that makes me shiver with longing. I love it when he looks at me that way because it means he wants me again, and pathetic sap that I am, I want him too, even knowing that he doesn’t love me and part of him hates me.
Law shrugs and curls his lip.
“You’re his mom and soon you’ll be my wife. I won’t have him disrespecting my wife.”
No, we’re not married yet—and not because I said no or did anything to sabotage things, but because Minnie threw a fit when she heard we were eloping.
And then Law decided that he wanted Cody there, and he told me, didn’t ask, that we would wait and do things right.
“Either way, I’m grateful to you. He has every right to be angry and…just thanks.” I mumble, pasting on a smile when Minnie comes breezing into the room, followed by Cody.
Half an hour later I own more souvenirs and plastic replicas than I ever wanted to in my life, but we’re all laughing and smiling as Cody gets out some 3D puzzle of the Leaning Tower of Pisa and starts showing Law how to build it. Lunch passes with the two of them still at it, their heads together as they endeavor to put it together in one day.
I feel at peace and happy, just enjoying the relaxed atmosphere.
“Nico, dear, would you ask Rose to bring in the tea?” Minnie asks when I rise to excuse myself, in need of the bathroom.
I nod and leave them all together, laughing at Law when Cody tries yet again to drag a piece out of his hand. God, the two of them haven’t known each other a day and already they’re squabbling.
I stop by in the kitchen to tell Rose and end up spending a few minutes helping her ice cupcakes before making my way to the bathroom.
See Nic, everything’s going to be just fine. They’re all happy, you’re not being locked away in a dungeon while Law steals your kid, and if you play your cards right, he’ll be in love with you in no time.
I snort as I finish with the toilet and wash my hands only to come up short when a pain slices through my abdomen doubling me over. It’s so severe that I lose my footing and fall flat on my ass, my vision winking out for a few precious seconds.
I breathe through the pain, my breaths a huff of sound, and shudder in relief when the knot slowly releases. A few deep breaths in and I feel able to stand.
When another cramp tears through me I can’t hold in another scream, and I yell so loud the sound echoes off the walls, as I crash to my knees, curling into a ball.
My heart is pounding, ricocheting through my ears.
“Nic? Nic!”
Oh, not my heart, footsteps.
He’s by my side so fast that I almost giggle, thinking he must have followed me when his royal highness noticed me gone for too long. Bossy man.
“Jesus Christ! Dad! Call an ambulance.”
I pass out a second later, wondering why we need an ambulance and why his hands are shoving between my legs.
Chapter Twenty-five
Law
I’m pacing after what feels like hours spent in this goddamned waiting room. God, the blood…
Just thinking about what I saw when I barged into that bathroom after hearing Nic scream sends fear coursing through every vein I own because I know now that she was definitely pregnant and that chances are she isn’t anymore.
Besides the fear I feel at just the thought of losing her I feel a sorrow so vast that my chest is raw inside. A baby, our baby could be gone before we even knew it existed, and the knowledge breaks my heart.
I want a family with Nic and everything that goes along with it. If she’s—
“Mr. James.”
I look up to see a middle-aged man coming my way, his tired face wreathed in a smile that eases my pain a little, not much, but enough that I am able to answer him and shake his hand.
“Nic…?”
“Is doing just fine, Mr. James.”
“There was a baby?” I ask, already knowing the answer before he says it.
“No. Miss Sharp had what we call a Molar pregnancy, which is a growth...”
He keeps babbling on and on, medical terms and lingo flying from his mouth, but I stop listening after I get the gist. Nic was never pregnant and so…I feel a little better.
I’m still sad though because I’d needed her to be, but knowing now that we haven’t lost a kid makes me feel so relieved that I have to sit down when my knees wobble and threaten to dump me.
“That’s not to say that you can’t try for a baby. Miss Sharp’s uterus looks good, and as far as I can see the contraception that she was on—”
“Contraception?” I interject, feeling my temper rise swiftly.
If she was on something to stop conception, knowing th
at I want more children, then I swear to God we’re done. I can’t—no, I won’t—be with a woman who refuses to be honest.
The part that hurts the most though? Did she do this because she doesn’t want another child with me? I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and it hasn’t escaped me that Cody was an accidental miracle. Though I can see that Nic adores that kid, I can’t help but wonder if she was upset, maybe even a little resentful.
“Yes, Mr. James. Although from what I read in her doctor’s report that was faxed through, she was scheduled for another injection in two weeks, which she cancelled recently.”
The news eases the knot in my stomach, and I breathe again, knowing that I haven’t just lost my girl.
“Thanks, Doc. Can I see her now?”
“Sure. She’s still sleeping, but I see no reason you can’t sit with her. Your parents might want an update though; they’ve been calling non-stop. Your phone seems to be off.”
I wince and pull my phone free, cringing at the amount of missed calls as I follow the doctor down a long corridor and into a dark room with beeping.
Nic is a tiny lump beneath the snowy white covers, and I stop, closing my eyes before thanking the doctor and approaching the bed. My first reaction is to comfort her, take her in my arms and reassure her that everything’s going to be okay and that I’m here, that I love her…a million things that I know I can’t say.
No, a million things that I won’t say because—at this moment—I need control, and I’ll only get that if I establish our boundaries. Part of me wants to break her. Hurt her the way I’m hurt—because no matter what I know, she still lied.
She never once mentioned being protected when I told her what I intended, and though she couldn’t have done anything about it, I hate that she’s so distant that she didn’t tell me.
See, I want every part of her. I want to own her mind and body—and even her soul. I want her to wake and breathe for me. I want to be everything to her, and if I’m to have that, I need to ensure that she surrenders first.
“Law?”
Her voice comes out on a husky moan of pain, and I look over, forcing myself to remain in the chair I’ve taken and look at her coldly.
“You’re in the hospital, babe. You were bleeding.”
God, all that blood. Even now, after the nurses had forced me to scrub my hands, I can still see, smell, and feel the blood coating my hands when I shoved them between her legs, trying stupidly to stem the flow.
Her brow crinkles, and she groans, her hands going to her abdomen.
“Was it my appendix or something?” she asks, still confused and obviously struggling to remember anything other than the pain that must have gripped her.
I can’t think of that now and stay calm, so I push it all away and focus on what I need to get out of this exchange.
“You were on birth control?”
She blanches, her face losing what small amount of color it had, and closes her eyes briefly before meeting my eyes and nodding once.
“I was.”
Honesty. I didn’t realize until this very minute how much I needed her to lie and tell me that it’s not true, that once again she’d tried to cheat me out of something that is mine, and I can honestly say that I hate her as much as I love her in that minute.
Taking a deep, calming breath, I keep our eyes locked and cock a brow, not wanting to speak before she tells me everything.
Nic fiddles with the blanket at her hip for a bit before twisting her mouth in a grimace and shaking her head on a puff of laughter.
“I wasn’t going to tell you, and at first, I was going to just get the next shot and keep it quiet. Part of me resented you for wanting something more from me and…just taking it as you always do…but…”
I can breathe again, as she continues, renewing my hope that there’s more still to come for us instead of me throwing her out and moving on. It would hurt, but I would have done it if only to keep what little I have left of myself.
“But?”
“But I rethought it and cancelled. See, I know how much this means to you, and no matter how at odds we are Law, you are probably it for me—and I know it. So I’ve decided I’m just going to give in and do what needs done, and hopefully, you and I come out at the end still in one piece.”
She sounds so dejected at the thought of being with me that it hurts a little before I realize what she’s just said.
I’ve won.
Chapter Twenty-six
Nic
Turns out that I didn’t have an infected appendix and that the pain had been my body’s way of saying, “Listen up, woman. Something ain’t right.”
I’ve never even heard of that Molar whatever-it-is that had been growing in my body, but one thing’s for sure, I’m lucky that my guy is a paranoid control freak and that he’d followed me to the freaking bathroom because according to Doctor Schwartz, I could have freaking bled to death if someone hadn’t found me so fast.
Yeah, I lost that much blood.
But now I’m fine, well, as fine as I can be with the A-hole calling all the shots. Another thing, turns out that my unfortunate episode opened the door on the whole birth control thing, and since, yeah, I did technically lie to Law, even just by omission, I’m up shit creek at the moment, and he’s holding all the paddles.
I’m a smart woman. I’m independent and capable and a whole list of other things that most women strive their whole lives for and never attain. I know that I’m lucky, that this level of intelligence I was born with is a gift that I shouldn’t just shrug at.
But truth be told, as much as my inner “Fem” rages at me, I feel more secure now, being under Law’s thumb, than I have in a long time. I wake up every morning knowing what’s going to happen.
No job to stress me out, nothing to take me away from raising Cody, and best of all, I don’t have to worry about Jude anymore since Law went and packed her up and delivered her to me like an early Christmas gift.
My life is…perfect.
Believe you me, I know how weird that sounds. Ex-VP to one of the biggest international companies on the planet, and I’m happy because my fiancé forced me to quit. (I snort because basically he fired me after telling me that I can’t quit.)
I am happy being a housewife, and yes, that’s what I am…since I strong-armed Rose into sharing her kitchen with me and letting me help with laundry.
Minnie thinks it’s hilarious that instead of shopping on a daily basis, I enjoy being a homebody, but hell, I’ve never been one before, and so the novelty is kind of exciting.
I get to go to Cody’s practices every day and watch his games. I get to spend time with him and listen while he learns new things that just blow his mind—and sometimes mine too, because my kid is waaay smarter than I am.
I get to do a lot of things I’ve never had the chance to do…thanks to my full schedule and the fear of dropping those ever-flipping balls that I was juggling for years, just trying to keep everything working.
The only balls I need to handle now…do I need to say more?
“You’re looking so much better this morning, darling,” Minnie coos, as she bustles into the bedroom without so much as a knock and plants a breakfast tray over my lap.
Goddammit!
Did I just say that I love this shit? Well, I was wrong! Why, you ask? Because if Minnie is still bringing in a breakfast tray, it means Mr. Control still won’t let me get out of bed before eleven, and believe me, he knows every time I’ve tried.
“He can’t still be serious! I’ve been out of the hospital for over a week now, Min!” I rage, petering off when the smell of bacon and eggs over easy hits my nose.
Have I said yet that Law chooses what I eat?
No? Well, here’s the rundown. I get breakfast of his choice in bed most mornings, and then I get to dress in whatever he’s set out for me before he leaves for work.
Let’s just say I’ve never looked this good before, and I like not having to think. I just throw it on
and go on with my day.
The staying in bed thing however…
“Just eat your goddamned breakfast before we both get into trouble again. The last time you did something he didn’t like, he tattled to Jack, and I had to go without sex for a whole night!”
“Eeeew!”
Minnie sighs and rolls her eyes before joining me on the bed and grabbing my orange juice.
“For your information, Nico, what I do with my husband is not ew. Dirty, but not gross at all. And from the looks of you and that damned scowl Law’s been carrying around, I’d say that not having hot monkey sex is starting to get to you, too.”
“Jesus Min, stop talking!” I yell, swallowing a whole lump of un-chewed food.
When I start coughing, she hands over the juice and waits for me to stop choking before taking the glass from me and continuing to sip.
“Nope. You and me kid, we got some talking to do. A lot actually. Now eat your food. That kid of mine will be calling in about a minute, and if I can’t give him the truth, we’re both in shit. Eat!”
I finish in record time, in fact just as her cell starts playing “Sweet Child of Mine,” and I roll my eyes when she delivers her report and sits, listening to whatever the dictator has to say.
I skip off to the shower, giggling at her eye roll and only just refraining from laughing outright when I emerge fifteen minutes later, showered and dressed to see that she’s just disconnecting the call.
“That little punk is lucky I can’t still put him over my knee or I’d tan his ass black and blue,” she says and snarls, giving me a cursory once over before nodding and coming over.
“Now, the doctor cleared you, and we have a lot to talk about. You up for an early afternoon drinking party and some girl talk?”
This is a side of Minnie I’ve never seen before. Sure, the old girl isn’t a snob, and I can definitely see that she wasn’t born with a silver spoon, but this Minnie, the chick who swears, rolls her eyes, and offers me booze in the middle of the day is definitely someone I like. A lot.
“Sure, so long as it includes vodka, tequila, or a good whiskey. No, make that all three and I’m in.”
CALLIE (The Naughty Ones Book 1) Page 79
